A/N: If anyone's actually reading this, I'm terribly sorry for the long wait. I can't really explain it, it's just me being my lazy self. Hard to believe that last summer I would sometimes update the same story two, three times a day!

Disclaimer: Nothing in the Harry Potter world belongs to me.

Chapter 5: New Roommates or In Which the Story Gets Interesting

"I can't believe you only just realized you forgot your – what was it again?" Sirius grumbled as he, Harry, and Remus made their way down Privet Drive, which was wet and dewy from last night's rainfall. It was still early, only seven thirty, and the sky was already a brilliant blue. "Oh that's right – you haven't even bothered to tell me what you left behind!"

"Just a bunch of stuff under a loose floorboard."

"It took you a whole week to figure out?"

"That's enough," Remus admonished his friend. Then he turned to Harry: "We're going to go in for a second and then come right back out, understand, Harry?"

"Why?"

"I thought you didn't want to see you aunt and uncle again," said Sirius.

"I don't," Harry quickly replied. "But I thought –"

"In and out would probably be best," Remus interjected. "We don't want to get your relatives angry."

"All right," Harry agreed with a sigh, "In and out."

They came to a stop in front of the door and Remus rang the bell.

"Hey, how'd you know to do that?" Harry asked. "Wizards don't have doorbells, do they?"

"My mother was a muggle," Remus explained. "We had a TV and a telephone and everything."

"Really?"

The door swung open just then. Harry raised his eyebrows as Aunt Petunia paled visably.

Ha! he thought.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

Harry opened his mouth to explain, but Sirius cut in. "Good morning, Petunia!" he exclaimed. "May I call you Petunia?"

"No," she replied stiffly.

"Well, can I call you Pet? Tuna? Tuna-face?"

Aunt Petunia just stared back, dumbstruck.

"What a fine dress you've got on," Sirius continued. "It makes you appear so much skinnier than you probably are-"

Harry groaned inwardly. Thankfully, Remus swiftly manuvered himself in front of Sirius as Aunt Petunia blushed angrily, giving his friend a sharp pinch on the arm as he did so.

"Harry appears to have left some of his things behind," he said. "Do you suppose we might come in to collect them?"

Aunt Petunia glanced nervously behind her. "I suppose so."

She stepped aside and Sirius, Remus, and Harry filed into the house, Sirius rubbing his arm.

"Why don't you run upstairs?" Remus said to Harry. "We'll be waiting right down here when you're through.

As Harry hurried up the stairs, Petunia Dursley disappeared into a back room without another word.

Sirius shared an incredulous look with Remus as he surveyed the house where his godson had grown up. "I don't like this place. It's too … bright. And clean."

"I know."

"What kind of house is this? It's like a museum."

"I know."

"It's creeping me out."

"I know."

"I wish he'd come down soon."

"Me too."

At that moment, Harry came bounding down the stairs, his hair flopping, and looking generally wild and slightly insane.

Before either of them had time to ask what had happened, Harry had darted past them and flung open the door of a small coat closet with such force that the door bounced off the wall.

Not satisfied, Harry hurtled himself into the same room his aunt had gone into. After a moment of shock, the two men rushed after him into a horridly decorated kitchen.

"Where is she?" Harry was hissing at his aunt and uncle. Another boy, obviously Dudley, from Harry's description of him, was cowering in a corner.

Petunia looked over Harry's shoulder at them. "What are you on about?" Vernon snapped. "Boy's a raging lunatic!"

Several cracks he could make to Remus about Vernon's choice of words – "No, lunatic would be Remus" – flew into Sirius' head, but a glance at the others told him this was definitely not an appropriate time.

Darn. He'd have to remember to say them later, then.

But Sirius understood what Harry was on about, and apparently, so did Remus.

"You didn't really leave anything behind, did you?" Remus said, though it wasn't a question, and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Don't touch me," he snapped, shrugging it off. "I said she could take my room. "Why's the bed stripped?"

The Dursleys seemed lost for words.

"If you've done … anything … I swear, I'll –"

"Harry?"

He whirled around, struck dumb by the introduction of the new voice.

Dara stood in the doorway behind them, wearing a red plaid shirt and a pair of jeans. She had frozen in the middle of plaiting her wet hair into two braids upon seeing Harry by the kitchen table.

"Hi, Sirius, hi, Professor," she said in a voice full of question. Then, turning back to Harry, she said, "What are you doing here?" – sounding horribly like Petunia had.

Harry answered, his eyes trained on the floor, "Stamphard came yesterday."

"So?"

"Well ... you know."

"No, I don't know," she retorted. "Tell me. Spell it out for me."

"You said the only reason you –"

"I know what I said."

"Didn't you just say…? I thought you'd –"

"Well, you thought wrong, then!"

Sirius, Remus, Petunia, and Vernon stared at each other, completely unable to understand a word.

"I just don't get why you'd rather-"

"Can we not talk about this here?"

"-rather wait until things get so –"

"I said, can we –"

"- so bad that you need –"

"Harry, please!"

"Can't I even finish a sentence?

"Look, whatever you're doing here, you can leave, okay?" Dara snapped, her hands on her hips, looking the very picture of a mother hen. "I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere."

"What happened to you? What happened to all those plans –"

"I was little, I was stupid. I'm more mature now!"

"Yeah, like this is mature."

He said this quietly, but the effect of that sentence on Dara was immediate. She feel silent, then grabbed Harry by the wrist and pulled him through a side door without another word. The door slammed shut behind them, but everyone in the kitchen could hear muffled shouts coming from the other room anyway.

The Dursleys slowly returned to their breakfast, ignoring the two wizards as best they could. After uncomfortably holding up the wall for several minutes, Sirius and Remus shifted into the living room.

"What in the world …?"

"I don't know, Paddy," Remus replied.

"I think he wants her to come home with us," Sirius said, the idea just dawning on him.

"Took you long enough," Remus remarked.

"I wouldn't say no."

"That's good," Remus said, "because I don't think he'd take no for an answer."

Sirius didn't respond. He was staring around the room at the various muggle electronics that the Dursleys owned. "What are all these things?" he asked.

"Well, that's a television over there," Remus explained, "kind of like … a portrait, only it tells stories instead of just talking. And that's a VCR – it shows you movies so you can watch them whenever you want. And a video camera, that makes movies. And … is that a Playstation?"

"A what?" Sirius bent closer to examine the strange box on the floor.

"It's … well, it's a computer you can play games on," explained Remus, grabbing his friend's arm and pulling him to his feet. "I've only ever read about them before, they've just come out last month …"

"So the muggles are filthy rich?"

"Suppose so."

"And is it in style to wear baggy clothes?"

"No," said Remus, still staring in awe at the Playstation.

"So why does Harry, then?"

"No idea."

Afraid to take a seat on the white leather couches, Sirius and Remus stood awkwardly around the edge of the living room and settled in to wait.

They were no longer yelling, which was definitely a good thing.

"But why don't you want to come?" Harry asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

"I just don't," Dara replied. They were in her room, Harry was sitting on her bed, and she had climbed up on top of the washing machine. "I do have reasons for wanting to stay here, you know."

"Want to share?"

"Well," she said, "for one, I don't think I'm techinically allowed to leave. You know – legally."

"What about Hogwarts, then?" Harry asked.

"They don't … exactly … know about that," said Dara, drawing her legs up underneath her.

"There you go!" Harry said. "You don't have to tell the government about this either."

"But – my dad wouldn't know where I was."

Lame, yes, she knew.

"I thought you didn't want to live with him anyway," Harry replied, a bit insensitively. Some of 'Ron' seemed to be rubbing off on him.

"I … don't."

"So what's the problem?"

Dara pressed her forehead to her knees in frustration and let her wet braids dangle down the sides of her head.

She didn't want to leave the Dursleys, the place where she and Harry were equal. The kids no one wanted. Everything would change the second they left the Dursleys household.

I don't want to not be wanted, she thought savagely. Pathetic, Kentler, I know, but it's true

And besides, it was one thing to be rejected by Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, who had resolved long ago to never approve of any other child except Dudley, or even her father, who … well, okay, he had no excuse, but she had long since learned to live with that. But to be rejected by Sirius…?

"What if it doesn't work out?"

"What's not to work out?" Harry asked. "Hey, where'd you put It?"

No need to ask what It was. "It's under the bed."

She heard Harry pull out the Harrods box and take out the book they were making together. "You haven't had any new ideas yet, have you?"

"I've had a bit on my mind," she said sarcastically, looking up at last.

"This was always my favorite," Harry said, flipping open to one story that had been written when they were ten. "I really like the way you drew Bluffy."

Dara looked over at the upside-down picture of Bluffy, the flying bear. "Stop it, Harry."

"What?"

"Just stop doing that, all right? Stop acting like everything's normal." She sighed again. "I can't believe Sirius is okay with this. He's letting me choose who to stay with? That never happens in muggle courts."

Harry bit the inside of his lip. He wasn't sure why he'd dragged Sirius out here without telling him what they were doing. He'd never even talked to Sirius about Dara moving in. But if a few simple lies were enough to change Dara's mind, it was all worth it, right? Sirius shouldn't be too hard to convince, right?

Harry's insides squirmed. Lying? That was awfully Slytherin. And he was not a Slytherin, they'd already established that last year. And besides, he was lying for a good reason.

So the ends justify the means?

The world got so much more confusing as you got older.

"Yeah, Sirius is great," he said.

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" Dara asked, though she grinned as she said it.

"Ah, caught on, did you? So … did it work?"

Dara peered around her shoulder at him, completely serious. Are you sure you wouldn't mind sharing with me again?"

"Of course I don't," he said. "It's not … It doesn't feel like home without you."

She blushed and hid her face momentarily before swivling around to face him. "You sure?"

"Definitely."

Dara dangled her legs over the edge of the washing machine for a moment before jumping down. "Well, let's go tell them, then."

"Sirius?"

Sirius and Remus turned. Harry strode forward confidently, while Dara trailed behind him, her pale face and blonde hair giving off the impression of a ghost-like spirit. Her chin jutted up and her bottom lip stuck out a bit, but otherwise, she looked completely at ease as well. Harry's eyes seemed to sparkle … they were so much like Lily's … It was all he could do to hold back another "you have your mother's eyes" line …

Come to think of it, Harry had acted eerily similar to Lily that afternoon. Striding into the Dursleys' house, taking charge, demanding to know where his friend was.

Which in itself was very puzzling. Why had Harry seemed so insistant on breaking his friend out? And why all the concern today? And why hadn't Harry simply asked him beforehand, instead of bringing them here under false pretences?

But all that could be sorted out once they got home.

"So …" he said kindly, but not patronizingly, he hoped. "Will you be coming with us?"

Dara nodded. "I'd … really like to, sir, if it's not too much trouble."

"Ixnay the 'irsay'," Remus said with a grin. "He's anything but."

"I like that," Sirius said, putting on a noble air. "Sir Black, valiant knight, off to rescue damsels in the dead of night."

"-and be the cause of their distress," Remus said.

Seeing the bewildered look on her face, Sirius sobered. Somewhat. "We'd be delighted to have you join our humble abode, milady."

She relaxed and brightened a bit. "Thank you, sir – Sirius."

"In exchange for your services, of course," he continued. "Our castle's practically bare, and we have dire need of someone to decorate our rooms for us."

"You should see what those two have done to the place already," Remus remarked. "Dripping bath towels on the floor, scorched food a week old still sitting out on the counter … You're in for a lot more than redecorating."

Harry shook his head. "Ignore them," he told Dara. "We're really excited – your room's all ready and everything."

Dara snuck a glance wearily at the kitchen door. "That's great, but … what about Them?"

"Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon?"

She nodded.

"That shouldn't be a problem, should it?" Sirius asked, a bit confused. "They let Harry go, didn't they?"

"Harry's not worth 28 hundred p. a year," she remarked bitterly.

Ah. A snag. "Of course not – he's priceless," Sirius replied in a would-be light tone, making Harry flush as dark as Dara's shirt. "Why don't you go pack up your things – Harry, you help her – and Remus and I can sort things out with 'Them', all right?"

"Sure," Harry said. "Come on," he urged Dara, practically pulling her along behind him.

Sirius and Remus shared a glance. "You got rid of them like a pro," complimented Remus, and then they strode into the kitchen.

Vernon was, to say the least, irate. Sirius entertained himself for a moment by watching Harry's uncle's face slowly grow redder and redder, but he knew he had to break the ice.

"You won't mind her coming with us, then?"

If Vernon Dursley was a rhinocerous, he would have charged.

"What gives you the right to barge into other peoples' homes and kidnap children from right under them?" Vernon thundered.

Sirius sighed. "Let me make this brief, Mr. Dursley. I would like to take Dara home with us. You would like your money. I'm willing to pay you whatever compensation you were getting from the government in exchange for her."

He'd expected Vernon to jump on the offer. Instead, he looked ready to jump on Sirius. "Oh no you don't!" he yelled, narrowing his eyes. "And just what am I supposed to say when that social worker comes 'round, wanting to know where she is?"

"She was abducted by aliens?"

He'd said it so he could watch the vein pop in Vernon's neck. Remus, however, was not amused; he shoved Sirius discreetly out of the way and took over. "Mr. Dursley, please realize that if Dara were discovered missing, you would not only appear as negligent-" oooh, big word, thought Sirius – "guardians, but we would be viewed as kidnappers."

Sirius's insides froze. Kidnappers …

"So just adopt her then, and have done with it," Vernon retorted. "But you can still give us the money!"

"But if the government believes her to be living here, you will be paid by them as well as us."

He could almost see the conclusion drawing in Vernon's mind. Double the money. 28 hundred from the government and 28 hundred from the wizard-freaks. And that would all be profit too, since they wouldn't have to feed her.

"Now," Remus continued. "I don't pretend to be an expert on The System, but I think I am correct in assuming that the majority of social workers give notice before dropping by, especially when the child has been in the same household for a number of years?"

"Most of the time," Petunia said stiffly from the other side of the kitchen as she poured tea for her and her husband.

"Well, it's very simple, then," Remus said, marvelling at the way she managed to keep all the tea inside the cups even though her hands were shaking. "Let us know when someone will be dropping by, and we'll bring her over. That way, everyone's happy."

Petunia's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Sure!" she said in a tone of deep mistrust. "And just how would we contact you? We haven't got one of those horrible birds!"

"I know you don't," Remus said placatingly. "But we were thinking about putting in a phone line-"

We were? thought Sirius. Then: we?

"-And they'll be installing it next week, so you can phone us with the details if we have to bring her back," Remus concluded.

Yes, it was a wonderful plan. The only problem was that it was illegal. Very illegal.

He felt a sense of panic rise inside him, like a great wave flushing over his entire body. He'd just been freed, he'd just found Harry, he didn't want to go – There. Azkaban. Charged with kidnapping!

"And what about the emotional turmoil this will cause Dudley?" Vernon was saying, a forced look of concern on his face. Upon hearing his name, the boy in the corner perked up a bit. "He's become quite attached to his little playmates. Perhaps you could throw in … 10 p. to take him to the cinema twice a month?"

Sirius drew his wand from his pocket and held it upside down – on purpose, of course. He hitched a look of menace onto his face. "Don't push it, Dursley!"

Remus snickered quietly as the great muggle recoiled. Sirius resisted the urge to grin. Honestly! Anyone with half a brain could see the wand was upside down, and would have done more damage to Sirius than anyone else if he'd uttered a spell.

Maybe the whole family only has half a brain to spare, Sirius thought, and they have to split it three ways.

"Ready to go, Harry? Dara?"

"Nearly," came Harry's reply from the other room. Harry. His voice was changing.

"We'll just wait in the living room, then," Remus said to Vernon.

"It's been lovely seeing you all again, simply lovely," Sirius said in a simpering tone. "Tuna, darling, make sure you water your begonias, they were looking a bit wilted as we came in. Ta-ta!"

"Hold on a moment," Vernon roared. "When do I get my money?"

Sirius winced. The kinds surely would have heard that – he hadn't meant them to.

"We'll send it to you once we know our new phone number," said Remus calmly. "We'll send you the number as well."

"Oh," Vernon muttered, abashed. "All right, then."

Sirius raised his wand hand – with the wand still in it – in farewell, then dragged Remus into the living room.

"First of all, he snapped furiously, "What telephone? And – who's 'we'?"

Remus looked embarrassed. "Well, I was hoping I could take you up on that offer to move in."

Fury aside, Sirius smiled broadly for moment. "That's incredible! Why all of a sudden, though?" he asked suspiciously.

Remus's eyes dropped to his feet. "The – the couple in the flat below mine say their son's been terrified to sleep the past three nights. He heard me."

Sirius was horrified. "And the landlord –"

"Gave me two weeks' notice," Remus continued. "I thought, well, since I have someplace to go this time, I'd rather be out sooner than later."

"I'm sorry you lost it," Sirius said. Remus had only had the place three weeks, ever since he quit the Defense position. "But it's going to be fantastic having you with us!"

Remus smiled. "In-house cook, eh?"

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of 'In-house laundry service'."

"Sirius?"

"Huh?"

"You haven't done the laundry in a week, have you?"

"Er … no?"

"And you ran out of clean clothes this morning?" Remus prompted.

Sirius mumbled something incoherent.

Remus grinned. "Couldn't quite catch that, Paddy, come again?"

"It was yesterday morning, actually."

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Finally, some sane human beings are going to move into that place."

"And about time too … hey!"

They heard laughter from behind them. Sirius and Remus turned around to see Harry and Dara standing in the doorway, Dara's trunk next to them.

"Ready?" Harry asked.

"Sure, kid," Sirius said, grinning. "Let's go."

A/N #2: Again, if anyone's actually reading this, PLEASE take the time to review! Thank you!