Author's Note: So, we're up to the third chapter. I love some of the questions that were asked in the reviews, so I'm going to go answer them now.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Skin by Alexz Johnson. Awesome song, though. Still don't own Teen Titans. Or Jack. I don't own jack or Jack.
evilsangle: Hmm...I don't remember saying that Malchior had found the book. I remember saying that someone had found the book that had his name carved into it. Maybe it's Malchior. Maybe it isn't. There is a story in this, but that part was a clue to what the ending will be. The rest of it until the end chapter is journal. But there is a story, I promise, so don't stop reading just because it's all journal!
Last Haven: Thankyou! I like that line too. If you like this story(and I promise you it isn't my best work) then you should check out some of my others. I normally check out the stories of my reviewers, so I'll probably be reviewing to some of yours. Don't know, I'm kinda busy with a lot of projects.
bushessuckgotrees: He might be...if he's even reading this.
DITZY: I will keep updating! I'm glad you're into it!
StarStar16: Okay, I'll check it out first chance I get. Yeah, and Snape is an evil bitch.
Silent Evanescence: I'll never teellll...
Aries Falcon: Wouldn't you like to know? Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU! Being hyper rocks.
I drift away to a place, another kind of life
Take away the pain
I create my paradise
Everything I've held
Has hit the wall
What used to be yours
Isn't yours at all
Falling apart, and all that I'm asking
Is a crime, am I overreacting
Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
What you had didn't fit
Among the pretty things
But never fear, never fear
I now know where you've been
Braids have been un-tied
Ribbons fall away
Leave the consequence
But my tears you'll taste
Falling apart and all that I question
Is this a dream or is this my lesson
Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
Oh my permission to sin
You might have started my reckoning
I've got a reason now to bury him alive
Another little white lie
I don't believe I'll be alright
I don't believe I'll be ok
I don't believe how you throw me away
I do believe you didn't try
I do blame you for every lie
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine
---Skin, Alexz Johnson
Dear Malchior (October 24th),
"Have you not been paying attention at all, Robin? She's not acting like herself! She hardly comes out of her room, she never talks, she's cruel and merciless when she fights, she trains against us like we are the enemy..."
"Haven't you just described everything that Raven has always acted like?"
"You just don't get it, do you, man? I just have the feeling that there's something seriously wrong with her. Have you noticed her powers haven't been completely controlled for a while?"
"Look, Malchior really messed her up. Give her some time. She'll be okay."
"I'd feel better if you talk to her."
"I did talk to her, remember? She said she wasn't ready to talk about it. You could talk to her if you wanted to, though."
That's the coversation I heard from the foot of the stairs as I started to come down for breakfast. Cyborg won't let it go. You may be vain enough to think you hurt me Malchior, and you did, but not fatally. I'm fine.
Cyborg's been watching me like a hawk, almost as if he's waiting for signs of something out of place. I don't understand it. I don't suppose I ever will.
Meditation states come and go more infrequently now. My emotions are either absent, dead, or on a rampage. However, my powers are completely under control. I have not used the magic you taught me. I have worked on my own during training sessions, and my level of control seems to have improved highly. Cyborg says I'm not completely under control, and Beast Boy is a shade or two paler after what happened today, but I assure you that I am in complete control.
We have lately started to fight one another to improve our skills. I was pitted against Beast Boy today after Beast Boy narrowly defeated Starfire. The changeling's powers are good, but his attention span wanders, and since he is fighting a fellow teammate he sometimes forgets to fight at all. He started off well, evading my bursts of telekinetic energy by darting around in hummingbird form, but after I knocked him against the wall and he stood to yell at me in protest, he lost his focus. Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg seemed to think I had permanently damaged him when I pulled him through a teleportation hole just to startle him and make him lose his focus.
After that Robin shut down the training room and asked me to follow him to his room.
"Raven, is there anything you want to talk about? You were a little harsh back there."
"I was only doing my training correctly."
"But that's just it, Rae, it's training. We're not fighting the bad guys."
"If I go easy during training I can't go hard on the villains during an actual crisis." I turned and left the room without giving him a second thought. "You should stop worrying so much, Robin. You know I would never hurt my teammates."
But I could hear his answer after I closed the door. "Sometimes I just wonder if you know it's us."
---Raven
Dear Malchior (October 25th),
I should never have seen that.
Malchior, you know I am an empath. I can feel whatever my friends are. I know there every weakness when it comes to their inner souls. I knew this was coming. I confess, when I felt the deep feeling of happiness and contented love radiating from the room, I should have known what I was walking into. But I thought it was only Starfire in the room. She is always so nauseatingly happy that I believe any ounce of happiness in the Tower comes directly from her.
Robin attempting to shove his tongue down Starfire's throat was never a sight I needed. I couldn't seem to back out of the room fast enough. I don't understand how Robin and Starfire's indulging in a pointless act of intimacy should make anger flare up me so strong that the sink developed a sudden leak. I could hear Starfire's surprised shrieks as I floated down the hall, attempting to find something else...anything to make the image escape my memory. I'm convinced, however, I was not seen. But it seems that even if I was it would not matter.
Cyborg was down in the garage, working on the T-car as he seems to do 12 hours out of 24. Sitting on the workbench, I waited for him to take notice of me. Cyborg emerged from under the T-car and surveyed me in a concerned manner. "You okay, Rae?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied in my usual reply.
He sighed. "Look, if this is about Malchior--"
"It isn't." I interrupted. I'm sick of hearing about you. It's bad enough I even have to remember you. "Since when have Robin and Starfire been going out?"
Cyborg eyed me cautiously. "They started going out shortly after you shut Malchior up in that book."
I nodded and left the room.
I don't know what to make of any of it.
Everything fell apart after you betrayed me, Malchior. I was never in love with you, I realize that now. I was in love with who I thought you were. But who I thought you were, I need that part of you back. I'm asking you to lie to me, to come back for just a moment. They say that living a lie can't create a perfect world, but discovering one can destroy one.
Did my friends use the excuse of my world falling apart to try and do everything behind my back? Was this the time they thought I would be understanding? And Robin, Starfire, why should I deny them this happiness? Because I cannot have who I thought you were, they cannot have each other? Is that what it has come to?
Not another tear will be shed over you, this I promise.
---Raven