CHAPTER ELEVEN

Date: February 12, 2005

Day: Saturday

Dear Journal,

I am the biggest assclown that I know.

I was right last night. Stephanie was PISSED this morning when I saw her at the arena. Her dad called this meeting of, like, everyone on the Raw roster. Stephy was there, of course. I mean, I guess she had to be there. But before the meeting started, I paid her a little visit to her office, and things did NOT go very well. And that's putting it lightly...

Flashback

Chris stood nervously outside of Stephanie's office. He didn't want to go in, but he knew she was going to want a good explanation for why he hadn't shown up at her room the night before. And he knew that the only acceptable explanation would be death. Too bad I can't use that excuse, he thought, then knocked on the door.

"Come in," Stephanie called.

Something in her voice told him that she was highly pissed. Ok, it's not too late to turn around and leave, he thought. I could just run away right now and she'd never know it was me in the first place... He opened the door and stepped inside.

"Good morning, Princess," he said softly. Oh, if looks could kill, he thought when she looked up at him. I would be SO dead right now.

"What the hell do you want?" she asked rudely.

"I just came over to offer you an explanation for last night," he said nervously.

"An explanation? That's rich," she said, standing up. "But humor me. What's your excuse for standing me up?"

"I don't know how to say this, but..." His voice trailed off as he tried to think of a way to put his thoughts into words.

"But you were busy with some other woman last night. Is that it?" she asked. "Some loose little ring rat?"

"I'm shocked that you would even suggest that!" he exclaimed, and he was. "You know that I'm into you, Stephy!"

"Don't call me Stephy," she said angrily. "And how am I supposed to know you're into me when you won't even come up to my hotel room and..."

"Aren't you the one who said it's not all about the sex?" he asked. "The other day in the limo? Don't you remember?"

"Yes, Chris, but that was just when I was in denial," she said. She stepped closer to him. "But now you've made it obvious that I never should've told you how I felt in the beginning. It's clear to me now that this has all been a big game to you this week."

"A game? Stephy... Stephanie... What kind of drugs are you taking?" he asked seriously. "This isn't a game. My feelings for you are real."

"You have a funny way of showing it," she said, and she raised her hand up.

He closed his eyes and waited for the familiar sharp, stinging sensation to take over. When he felt her hand softly caressing his face instead, he opened his eyes and looked at her. The tears he saw in her eyes hurt more than any of her deadly slaps could, because he knew that he was the reason for her tears.

"Stephy," he whispered. "You have to understand..."

"I understand already," she whispered back. "Just let me kiss you..." She leaned up and pressed her lips against his softly. She kissed him slowly, hesitantly, conquering his mouth in the most seductive way. She pulled back a while later, hugging him. And then she let go altogether.

"Why did that feel like goodbye?" he asked, looking at her.

"Because it was. This is what you could've had... But you chose not to," she said softly as the first tear fell. "Your loss." And then she walked out of her office, leaving him all alone.

"What have I done?" he asked aloud, but of course he received no answer...

End Flashback

Ok, so that whole thing in her office was pretty screwed up, but that didn't even begin to prepare me for what happened at the meeting. Stephy really has the ability to get under my skin. Like, how could she think that I was only toying with her emotions? I've wanted her for years! But doesn't she understand that I want it to be real when we finally do fully give in to the passion that lies within? Doesn't she understand how much I really do love her? Whatever.

That company meeting sucked, by the way.

Flashback

Chris sat in the back of the room, waiting for everyone else to come in so the meeting could begin. He just wanted the meeting to be over already. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened earlier with Stephanie. He hadn't known she was that fragile. He hadn't known that she would think that he wasn't really into her. He couldn't believe that she had cried again, and once again, it was all his fault.

And he couldn't believe what he was seeing right now.

Stephanie walked into the room with John Cena by her side. She looked around the room and spotted Chris sitting in the back. She grabbed John's hand and led him to a row of seats a few feet in front of where Chris was sitting, and they sat down next to each other. John put his arm around Stephanie's shoulder and she leaned on him.

Ok, what the hell is going on? Chris thought angrily. What is she doing with him of all people?

The meeting started almost immediately after Stephanie's arrival, but Chris couldn't make himself pay attention. He was too busy staring at the scene a couple of rows ahead of him. John and Stephanie were sitting closer together than Chris liked. John still had his arm around Stephanie's shoulder. He handed her what looked like a handkerchief and whispered something in her ear, then looked back at Chris with a look of anger on his face.

When the meeting was over, Chris got up and walked quickly over to Stephanie and John. He completely ignored John, however, and looked at Stephanie. "What the hell is going on here, Stephy?" he asked, shaking her shoulders gently.

"It's none of your business, Chris," Stephanie said shortly, looking up into his eyes and then quickly looking away. "Now if you'll excuse us..."

"No, I won't excuse you," Chris said, hands still on her shoulders. "We have stuff to talk about, me and you."

"No, we don't. Now get your hands off me!" she snapped.

"You heard the lady. Get your hands off her," John said. "You've hurt her enough already."

"What do you know, bitch?" Chris asked angrily. "Nothing! So stay out of this!"

"I know everything, Chris," John said, equally angry. "And I know that she doesn't deserve to be hurt by you again. So get your grimy hands off of her and go talk to somebody else."

"This is none of your business, man," Chris said, trying to control himself. "I'd advise you to stay out of this unless you want me to kick your ass all over this arena."

"You couldn't get the job done Wednesday. What makes you think you can do it now?" John taunted.

"Just stop it!" Stephanie said finally. "Chris, we don't have anything to say to each other. John, don't give in to him. He just wants to piss you off."

"Is there a problem here?" Vince McMahon asked. By then, everyone was looking at the three of them standing there arguing.

"No, Daddy," Stephanie said, sniffling.

"Chris Jericho, why are your hands on my daughter?" Vince asked, anger evident in his voice.

"Um, no reason," Chris said, removing his hands from Stephanie's shoulders. He hadn't realized they had still been there, and she hadn't made any action to move them.

"Actually, Daddy, John and I were just about to leave," Stephanie said quietly.

"Ok, as long as there are no problems here," Vince said, looking at all three of them.

"There aren't any more problems here," John assured him.

"I love you, Stephanie," Vince said, giving his daughter a hug. Whenever they parted ways, that was their routine.

Stephanie hugged her dad back, leaning her chin on his shoulder and looking at Chris with the most sad, tear-filled eyes that he had ever seen. "I love you, too," she whispered. Then she pulled away. John put his arm around her and the two of them left the room.

Chris sat down in the nearest chair and put his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. Everything was just so messed up. If I had just gone to her room last night, he thought. I SO regret not going to her room last night. I didn't have to sleep with her... Maybe she would've been content if I just held her close all night...

"Stephanie still likes you, just so you know," Vince said.

Chris looked up, surprised that Vince was still there, and even more surprised at what he had just said. "How do you know?"

"I know my daughter, Chris," Vince said. "I would even go so far as to say that, quite possibly, she's fallen for you. That she loves you."

"You think so?" Chris asked hopefully.

"I know my daughter," Vince said again. "Now, she seems hurt, and I don't know what you've done to her. All I've got to say is that you better make Valentine's Day a very special day for her if you want her back."

"I do. I do want her back," Chris said honestly. "I love her, too."

"I know," Vince said simply, standing up. He put his hand on Chris' shoulder and squeezed it hard. "But if you hurt her again, Chris Jericho, you won't be loving anybody again too soon. And keep in mind, I never, eeeeever make empty threats." And then he walked away, leaving Chris staring after him.

End Flashback

So Vince has known all along the way that Stephanie and I feel about each other. I love my boss. He's so intuitive. He picks up on every signal, every hidden meaning... But back to Stephanie. Why was she with John Cena today? I'm not a jealous man, really, but seeing MY Stephy with John... Seeing John's arm wrapped around her shoulder... That kind of bothered me. That should've been MY arm around her. Mine. And what the HELL was up with that look John gave me when he passed Stephanie that handkerchief during the meeting? I'm so in the dark about their...it pains me to say this..."relationship" with one another... I just want to know what the hell is going on?

When Stephy hugged Vince, she was looking at me the whole time. And she was crying. I really hate to see tears in her eyes. It hurts me to know that I hurt her. She told her dad that she loved him too, but she was looking directly at me. Me. Maybe, just maybe, she was talking to me. I don't want to get my hopes up... But I really hope she was talking to me.

Because I love her, too.

I'm upset about this whole situation, but I guess it's all my fault anyway. The only way I can possibly get her back is probably by making Valentine's Day all sweet and romantic for her...

The question is, how am I going to do that?

More Next Time,

Chris

P.S. I didn't get slapped today like I thought I would, but seeing the tears in her eyes and seeing her with John Cena stings me just as bad as any slap would...