CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Date: February 13, 2005

Day: Sunday

Dear Diary,

This whole situation is just ridiculous. I don't understand anything that's happening, and now I wish that everything this week never happened. I wish I could start this whole week over again. I wish that on Monday night when Chris Jericho came up to me and called me the "Billion Dollar Slut" that I had just ignored him and walked away. I wish I never kissed him and admitted that I liked him. I wish... I wish I never met him! That way, everything that happened today never would've happened... I'd give anything to just erase today... Today was like hell for me, hell on earth. I mean, it was just one of those days where everything goes wrong, and no matter how hard you try, you can't do anything right!

I HATE THOSE KINDS OF DAYS!

Flashback

Stephanie was sitting in her office trying to work on a new storyline. It was around three o'clock in the afternoon, and so far her day had been horrible. First, she had woken up late and missed an important business meeting. Then, she had wasted coffee all over her blouse. She'd had to go all the way back to the hotel to change. After that, she had been in quite a rush to get to the arena, and she had been involved in a minor car accident. A car accident! But in her view, the worst part of the day so far was the fact that she hadn't seen Chris once.

She knew that Chris was at the arena somewhere, because he was scheduled to be there. She wanted to see him, wanted to talk to him, but it seemed like he was making himself impossible to find. It was like he was a ghost or something. Perhaps he was just avoiding her...

"Maybe he has disappeared off the face of the earth," she mused, tapping her pen against her chin as she wondered where Chris was. "Maybe he never wants to see me again."

"What man wouldn't want to see you again?" came an all too familiar voice. "I mean, he'd have to be stupid not to want to see you."

Ah, this day just keeps getting better, Stephanie thought. She looked over by the door at the man who had just entered and gave him an icy look. "Hunter."

"Don't I get a hug or something?" Hunter asked, closing the door behind him. "Maybe a little kiss?"

"What do you want?" she asked, exasperated already. "You don't have any reason to be here."

"Actually, I do," he replied. He walked over to her and sat on the edge of her desk. "I have something to ask you."

"What?" she asked. She wanted him to leave her office, and the sooner he left, the better it would be.

"As you know, Valentine's Day is tomorrow," he began. "And I was wondering, do you have anything special planned?"

"That's none of your business," she answered. "But no. Now why did you want to know?"

"Because I wanted to ask you out on a date," he replied. He grinned at the incredulous look on her face. "What do you say, Steph? For old times' sake?"

"Why would I go on a date with you, Hunter? We're divorced, remember?" she reminded him.

"I want to start all over with you again," he said seriously. "I know you probably hate me right now, but I keep trying to explain to you that everything that happened with Trish was an accident."

"Oh puh-lease," she said, rolling her eyes. "No one keeps having an accident like that."

"Steph, you can't tell me that you don't believe me," he said. "You can't tell me that somewhere deep down inside, you want to believe me. You want things to be the way they used to be."

"Hunter, I am so over you," she said. "Now could you please let me finish my work? I have a storyline to work on, and you're distracting me!"

"I think your desire for me is what's distracting you, Stephy," he said in a low voice.

"You don't have the right to call me Stephy!" she said, standing up. She was angry. The only person allowed to call her that was Chris, and this man definitely wasn't Chris.

"Why not, Stephy?" he taunted. "I used to call you that all the time."

"Liar. You never called me that," she snapped. "So don't think you have the right to call me that now."

"Ok, look, I didn't come here to argue with you, Steph," he said in a calm voice. "I just came to ask you out on a date. So is it a yes or a no?"

This man has some nerve! He's unbelievable! she thought. "It's obviously a no," she said, standing in front of him and folding her arms across her chest. "Now could you please just leave?"

"Right after I do this," he said, and then he pulled her roughly to him.

"I swear, Hunter, if you kiss me, you will regret it!" she whispered in an angry voice as she looked up into his eyes. She could remember a time in her life when she got a warm, fuzzy feeling inside whenever she was this close to him... That had been a long time ago. Now, it annoyed her to no end that she had to be in the same city as him.

"I only regret the fact that you just told me no," he said in a husky voice, and then he leaned down and kissed her.

To her utter disgust, she found herself kissing him back. Why was she kissing him back? She HATED him! But something... Maybe it was the bad day that she had been having up until that point... But something made her want to kiss him back. She put her arms around him and felt him pull her closer to him in response. She practically devoured his lips as she kissed him hungrily, letting all the frustration and anger and confusion she felt find an outlet in the kiss.

"Oh, Princess, I have something...for...you..." someone said, but the person's voice trailed off.

Stephanie quickly pulled back from the kiss and looked over at the door. Chris stood there with wide eyes. The roses he was holding in his hands dropped to the ground, along with the teddy bear he had been holding, too.

"Chris, it's not what you think," Stephanie said quickly, trying to pull away from Hunter.

"Oh, Chris, it's exactly what you think," Hunter said, pulling Stephanie even closer and leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. He grinned at Chris. "We're getting back together."

Stephanie gasped. "What the hell? We're not getting back together!"

"Because you already have," Chris said in a voice devoid of any emotion. He gulped, then turned around and quickly left the room.

Stephanie looked up at Hunter. "What the hell did you tell him that for?"

"Because, that little freak is ruining my life!" he replied angrily, letting her go. "Trish is still all hung up over him, so she's not thinking about me. And I just can't have that. So I wanted to hurt him, and if you didn't notice, you actually mean something to him."

"So you wanted to make him believe that you were taking something that meant something to him?" she asked, trying her hardest to understand his reasoning.

He shrugged. "Yeah, basically."

"You bastard! I can't believe I was ever married to you. I hate you!" she screeched, and then she ran for the door, wanting to find Chris so she could explain what he had just walked in on. She didn't have to look far. She walked down the hall and saw him leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. "Chris," she whispered, touching his arm lightly.

"Don't touch me," he said in a voice she'd never heard him use. He pulled his arm away from her.

"But I-"

"You don't even have to say anything," he said, opening his eyes. He stood up straight, then started to walk away down the hall.

Oh, I'm not going to give up so easily, she thought. I'm a McMahon! We never give up!

She followed him, then grabbed his arm and made him turn around. "Look, I'm sorry you had to walk in on that. Please, just let me explain..."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," he said, glaring at her. "You could've told me that you were getting back with your ex-husband before I admitted that I liked you, but instead you led me on all week. You made me feel like a fool."

"Chris, you can't honestly believe what Hunter said!" she cried. "You know what kind of person he is!"

"And I thought I knew what kind of person you were, too," he said. "But I guess I was wrong. And to think, I was actually going to tell you that I love you... What a waste of my time."

"Love me?" she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Yes, Stephanie McMahon, I love you," he said, his own eyes getting watery. He angrily wiped his tears away. "But you've hurt me, Stephy, and I don't know... I can't look at you right now." And with that, he rushed away without a look back.

She watched him rush away, and she felt more horrible than she'd ever felt before in her life...

End Flashback

I don't know what I was thinking when I actually kissed Hunter back. I was angry, I was frustrated, I was confused... I needed an outlet for all the crappy emotions that I was feeling, and Hunter was available. I don't even like Hunter, and I can't imagine ever being able to put our history behind us and start anew. It's just not going to happen. That kiss meant absolutely nothing to me. You know how it is when you just get caught up in the moment? That's what happened, I swear!

It's really screwed up how Chris showed up at that exact moment when I hadn't seen him all day. Life is really screwed up sometimes. I guess Hunter got what he wanted. He wanted to hurt Chris, and he did. But I hurt Chris worse. I have never seen Chris Jericho shed a tear in all the time that I have been knowing him... That is, until today. Let me just say, I really didn't like seeing him cry. And his voice... Oh God, the way he sounded when he said that I hurt him... The way he said that he couldn't look at me... It hurts just to think about it.

And he was going to tell me that he loved me...

I'm a pathetic loser. I don't deserve to ever be happy again.

I went all ballistic on him yesterday for not showing up at my hotel room on Thursday night, but I didn't really have a reason. But he has a reason to be pissed at me. He walked in on me kissing Hunter... He'll never forgive me for that.

I think I hate myself.

After he left, I went back to my office and picked up everything that he dropped. The roses... The second time that he's bought roses for me this week... And the little teddy bear is so cute! I'm miserable right now. He won't answer his cell phone and I've left him, like, a million messages.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I'm going to make it up to him, I swear. I love him, and I refuse to let him go without a fight.

Until Next Time,

Steph

P.S. I'm hugging this teddy bear right now... I really hope Chris doesn't hate me...