AUTHOR'S NOTES/DISCLAIMER
Oh my god… I'm so sorry it took so long to post more! My life's just been hectic hectic hectic! This took forever to edit… especially because for some reason we never made a chapter twenty-eight and just skipped to twenty-nine… so I had to figure out where to cut it off because it was so freakin' long… I'm sorry sorry sorry! I feel so guilty… Anyways, here it is, and I'll get twenty-eight up soon (gotta finish "editing" that…). And we don't own InuYasha, sorry… we just write fan fiction… so if it's not on the show chances are we own it! And for those of you who thought the fan fic was getting a bit dull… here's some action for you! And probably a whole bunch more action later on… And I just really want to update this so no reader's-reviews bit… but thanks for replying and I hope you reply again for this chapter. Anyways… here it is!
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Silence of the Heart
The sun was starting to set when a certain half tiger demon wandered out of the trees to where InuYasha and the others were standing, looking at Sueko. The girl looked just weirded out as she grabbed up her bag and started walking off causing Yoshiko to sigh. Upon hearing the sound everybody spun around to look at her and Sueko looked quite relieved.
"Good! InuYasha was just about to leave without you!" said Sueko.
Yoshiko merely shrugged, not looking at anybody in particular. In fact, she was hardly looking at much of anything at all. InuYasha rolled his eyes and turned toward her completely.
"So, what did you find out?" he asked.
"That I needed time alone," said Yoshiko. "And you know, I'm not exactly sure why I came back…"
"Because we're your friends?" suggested Sango, looking quite worried.
"By the way," said Miroku, trying to sound important. "Sueko just used another power of her sword. We think if might have been from the Earth Shrine…"
"Good for her," said Yoshiko icily. "I'm sure Yukie will be glad to hear it."
"We were kind of hoping you would be glad to hear it," said Sango, starting to look confused.
"Why should I?" snapped Yoshiko. "Yukie is the one that thinks she's all that and knows everything."
With that she crossed her arms and started walking away and past Sueko. The girl almost dropped her stuff in confusion, but instead turned to look at everybody else. InuYasha sighed and quickly walked after Yoshiko, starting to reach out to stop her when he paused. A dark look came to his face as Yoshiko suddenly became more alert. The others rushed over, worried.
"What?" asked Sueko.
"Kamatari," growled InuYasha, drawing his sword.
An unusual wind blew through the small clearing and spun around one spot until suddenly the demon appeared. He looked quite thoughtful as he stared down upon the small group and InuYasha's grip tightened on his sword. Before anybody could say anything InuYasha leapt forward, intent on slicing Kamatari in half. The demon raised a questioning eyebrow at InuYasha as suddenly a little girl appeared right in front of him. Yoshiko gasped as she recognized the yellow and orange dress.
"InuYasha, wait!" she shouted.
In mid-jump a look of shock passed over the half-demon's face as he quickly changed directions. Now he stood on one side of Kamatari as Yoshiko stood shaking on the other. When Rin saw the half tiger demon she reached out a hand but Kamatari grabbed the back of her dress.
"What the hell, Kamatari?" cried Yoshiko. "What do you want?"
"You know, it's amazing, Yoshiko, that you're constantly surrounded by friends but you never seem to realize it," stated Kamatari, passing his gaze over the group and then back to Yoshiko.
"That's not an answer," snapped Yoshiko. "What does Rin have to do with this?"
"Oh, the girl?" said Kamatari, as if noticing Rin for the first time. "Bait?"
"You kidnapped her and you don't even know why?" cried Sueko, rolling her eyes. "How pathetic can you get?"
"Sesshomaru will go after you," said InuYasha, seemingly frustrated that he couldn't attack the demon.
"Really?" said Kamatari like this had never occurred to him. "But I don't want Sesshomaru to come after me."
At this Yoshiko realized what kidnapping Rin had meant. It meant he would have had to gone through Sesshomaru first. Though surprising she knew that he would have died before letting Rin fall in the hands of some messed up demon—especially a demon like Kamatari. Fear flooded through her at this thought but Kamatari smirked at her.
"I could have killed him but where would be the fun in that?" said Kamatari, trying not to smile too much but failing greatly. "Oh, and I have to tell you: If anybody other than yourself were to come after me then I will kill the girl."
"What?" said Yoshiko, now shaking from shock. Now was not the time to be messing with her head when her emotions were already on the fritz.
"What the hell do you want with Yoshiko?" snapped InuYasha.
"Yeah! She's not the legendary 'Last One.' I am!" cried Sueko. "I thought you wanted me, not some random half tiger demon!"
"Well, this random half tiger demon knows a little too much about the legendary 'Last One,'" said Kamatari in a low voice. "Which could be quite dangerous."
"How do you know that I know anything?" hissed Yoshiko, starting to sweat.
"Let me tell you one last thing," said Kamatari thoughtfully, completely ignoring her question. "If Sesshomaru decides he's going to come after me I will kill him this time. What is it that's said… third time's the charm?"
Feeling like she was losing control completely, Yoshiko jerked out her sword and jumped forward. With a small laugh Kamatari disappeared and her sword slashed through thin air. Her hands were shaking so violently it was surprising she could even hold onto her sword. But she soon put it away and started walking away.
"Hey, wait!" shouted Sueko, starting to run after her. But Yoshiko turned around with a hard look and the girl stopped.
"You heard, if anybody else goes after him he'll kill Rin," said Yoshiko, even her voice shaking. "So I would appreciate it if you didn't come with."
"What you going to do?" asked InuYasha calmly, sheathing his own sword.
"Well, first I have to make sure Sesshomaru doesn't do something idiotic," muttered Yoshiko and walking off, leaving Sueko and the others really worried. InuYasha, though, just shrugged.
Night had fallen hours ago but still he just stood there contemplating what to do. He was sure Kamatari had a plan but what kind of plan involved Rin? Sooner or later he would have to do something but he couldn't help but think he had failed the little girl. It was his job to protect her and now she was a prisoner to someone worst than Naraku. He couldn't even bring himself to blame Jaken because he couldn't expect the imp to protect Rin any better than he could. Maybe if he had been able to talk Yoshiko into staying…
'She would have left anyways,' he thought. 'Besides, what would she have been able to do?'
Silently he cursed himself for wandering away from the real problem by thinking about her again. Even when he had been fighting Kamatari he found himself wondering about Yoshiko and where she was. This was starting to become a real problem because Kamatari was able to pick up on his thoughts slightly. It was probably the only reason he had been able to kidnap Rin at all. Sesshomaru had been stupid enough to take his mind off the fight. Surprisingly enough he hadn't been injured too badly but his armor was broken now.
He could feel Jaken watching him timidly, waiting for orders on how they were going to save Rin. This time he didn't come up with some excuse to try and rescue the girl. He openly stated he was going to get Rin away from Kamatari. Still, he was unsure if he would hesitate again and didn't want to ruin any chance of freeing Rin just because he seemed unable to take his mind off of Yoshiko. Plus he couldn't even figure out why he kept thinking about the half-demon, of all people. He never thought of his brother if he couldn't help it—or Emiko—out of the blue. And still…
"Sesshomaru?" came a timid voice behind him.
Glancing over his shoulder he saw her standing there, one hand on a tree and the other in a fist. He couldn't decide if he was annoyed to see her or relieved. But either way he would have to figure out if it was going to get in the way of saving Rin. Her eyes moved over him, taking in the scratches and broken armor. He turned away completely not sure why he was doing so.
"What happened?" Yoshiko asked, her voice still a little low.
"Rin has been—" started Sesshomaru. But she cut him off.
"I know," she said. Upon a questioning glance from Sesshomaru she elaborated. "Kamatari came to me."
Surprise jumped to Sesshomaru's face and he turned away again. He wasn't sure if he found it odd that Kamatari had gone to her but more of the fact that he didn't know why. There was the obvious reason but Naraku had never been obvious so neither could Kamatari. So was he worried? Worried that all of this had something to do with Yoshiko and if he wasn't careful she might get hurt?
"Are you hurt?" asked Yoshiko, a bit louder than before.
"Ha!" laughed Jaken. "As if anybody could injure—"
"Jaken," growled Sesshomaru. "Stay out of it."
"Uh… Yes, Lord Sesshomaru…" said Jaken worriedly, walking off a fair distance.
There was a moment of silence as Yoshiko gauged how far away the imp was going. Then she sighed and leaned against a tree.
"You're going to go after him, aren't you?" she said icily. "Kamatari, I mean…"
"What would you expect me to do?" asked Sesshomaru, not really answering the question. It was a bad habit of his, especially when it came to Rin and… well, Yoshiko.
Yoshiko's eyes narrowed at that and she put her hands on her hips, replying, "If you do he'll kill Rin."
"That's not the point," said Sesshomaru, though he didn't know whom he was trying to fool. Protecting Rin from any harm was the whole point.
"Well, it might not be to you but it is to me!" snapped Yoshiko. "I'm not about to lose anybody over your stupidity!"
Amazingly he didn't really care about the insult. She could call him anything and he wouldn't take it personally. But he did find it a bit odd that she didn't just say Rin. It was as if she expected somebody else to get hurt over his actions.
"But you'll go after him?" said Sesshomaru, stating it as a question even though it wasn't.
"That's none of your business," said Yoshiko. "He won't hurt Rin if I go."
"Why is that?" growled Sesshomaru, his fears that all of this was just for Yoshiko realized.
"How the hell would I know?" cried Yoshiko. "But I think it's one good damn reason for you not to go!"
"There's still the problem that you'll go," said Sesshomaru. "And I doubt that you have fought Kamatari…"
"No, I haven't. But you have, twice now, and got lucky enough that he decided he wasn't in the mood to kill you," hissed Yoshiko. "Though if you go after him this time he'll kill Rin and he won't hesitate to kill you either! AND I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DIE!"
Once again Sesshomaru glanced over his shoulder but this time he wasn't at all surprised. Anybody would have expected him to but all he could think was that Yoshiko was acting odd. A small sad smile crossed over his face as he turned away again. Now Yoshiko was shaking with fury, her hands in fists at her side and her eyes narrowed.
"You're not listening!" she snapped. "At least turn around and pretend like you care about what I've got to say!"
Obligingly Sesshomaru turned around to look at her, his eyes seeming to soften as he did so. Upon doing so surprise crossed over Yoshiko's face but soon passed for a serious look. She walked closer to him and hardly had to raise her head to look up into his hazel eyes. It was in that moment that Emiko came to his mind and suddenly he realized that everything she had said was correct. He wasn't exactly sure why he thought about it right then, but because of it he got a strange idea.
Putting his arm around Yoshiko's waist he brought her in closer and put his lips on hers. He was a little surprised himself at what he was doing. But after a while it felt quite natural and he wondered why he hadn't done it before. Slightly thanking Emiko he realized that for the longest time he had loved Yoshiko. Now if only he could tell her. If only he could get the words out of his mouth. Just as he was thinking this Yoshiko pulled away, a look on her face that tore Sesshomaru up inside. She almost looked… frightened? But of what? And why?
At first she was just surprised when he pulled her in for the kiss. But after awhile Yoshiko found herself leaning into, completely enjoying it. Still she found it odd that of all people to show any feelings it would be Sesshomaru. Then it hit her what it meant. Yet again there was another guy in her life that might possibly love her and she would have to live with that. Pulling away she looked up at Sesshomaru, completely horrified by the soft expression on his face. Around her she felt the world fall apart as a part of her longed to stay here with him forever.
But she still had to save Rin. And she wasn't even sure if she would come back alive. Kamatari had made a point that as long as she showed up to fight him alone he would let the girl go. So it didn't matter what happened to her. In fact, she really didn't care. Despite that there was Sesshomaru, his face quickly changing to worry as Yoshiko put her hands on his chest to keep a fair distance between them. She felt herself starting to shake and Sesshomaru putting his hand in her hair was not helping.
"Yoshiko?" whispered Sesshomaru.
She gasped. As far as she knew he had never said her name and if he was going to start now… Well, it could mean many things. But despite what the reasons were she knew that either way it would shatter her resolve not to get attached. Gritting her teeth, she looked down so she wouldn't have to look at him.
"No…" she muttered, hardly audible.
"Please, listen," said Sesshomaru a little louder.
"Don't!" cried Yoshiko, clenching her hands into fists. "I don't want to hear it!"
With that she wrenched out of Sesshomaru's grasp and ran off, feeling branches clawing at her face and legs but not really caring. All she wanted to do was put as much distance between her and Sesshomaru as possible. At first she didn't think about anything in particular. But after a while Yoshiko realized how stupid she was acting and stopped, clinging to a tree to try and stop the tears. Despite that she knew she wouldn't let him say it, no matter what. She didn't know how well she would be able to handle it. And besides, last time Raoul had said it he had died a few days later. She had never gotten a chance and that was because she wasn't all too sure how she felt. Finally, taking a deep breath, Yoshiko walked off to find Kamatari.
At first he was just surprised when she ran off, stumbling slightly, tears close to the surface. Then he was worried that she would get hurt but wasn't sure if it would be smart to go after her. Silently he cursed himself for… whatever it was that had hurt her so much. He tried to figure it out but nothing Emiko had said seemed to come to his head. Except for the fact that supposedly Yoshiko had been through some sort of heartache before. But that wasn't very helpful. If he ever got a chance Sesshomaru resolved to sit down and talk to Yoshiko. He had enough of learning everything about her from her own aunt.
"Ahhhhh…" said a familiar voice. "Did you two get into a fight?"
Spinning rapidly he saw Emiko step out of the trees, holding Rin in her arms. A cocky smile was on her face as she set the girl down next to a tree and walked closer to Sesshomaru. At first he found it odd that Emiko would have been able to get anywhere near Kamatari to rescue Rin. Then he realized she was wearing a very revealing outfit, one that hardly covered anything. This could not be Emiko, who wore large clothing with five or six layers. Despite her slutty nature he doubted she would ever wear anything so very revealing. Besides, lately the tiger demon had been showing her regular eye color of a light green. This woman had bright blue eyes.
"Leave now before I kill you," snapped Sesshomaru, recognizing the blue eyes as the ones the fake Yoshiko had had. To back up his threat he put his hand on his sword hilt.
"You're so cruel!" said the woman in shock, putting her hands to her cheeks. "All I wanted to do was talk!"
"Well, I'm not exactly in the mood to talk," growled Sesshomaru, realizing just then that he should go after Yoshiko. If she was going to face Kamatari…
"But I was ordered to talk to you," sighed the woman. "Besides, do you really think Yoshiko wants to be followed right now?"
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed as the woman who looked like Emiko walked closer, a grin spreading over her face. She cocked her head to the side as if gauging his anger and then pursed her lips. As she did this Sesshomaru tried to decide the best way to dispose of her and then go after Yoshiko. But if Kamatari had sent her… most likely he would know as soon as the woman was dead. If this was true there was no telling how many other minions he would send. In this time he could have captured Yoshiko or worse, killed her.
"Why are you so mad at me?" whined the woman. "Do you not trust me just because of that time I was Yoshiko?"
Obviously she wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was this shape changer that he had met before. But maybe Yoshiko had been wrong and it really was Emiko who had tricked them before. No… this woman was acting nothing like the tiger demon. Even he could tell that and he hardly knew Emiko. Before he could decide whether to draw his sword or hit her a light shone in the woman's eyes as if she got an idea.
"I know, you're more attracted to Yoshiko!" she cried, a light going from her feet to her head. The only real change was that the blue eyes turned bright green for a few seconds and the black hair shortened slightly and became orange. Then the eyes turned blue again and the woman looked a little annoyed for a minute. "Well, how's that?"
"You're wasting your time," growled Sesshomaru, turning to walk away.
"But…" said the woman, grabbing his arm and pressing her body against his. "Don't you think I look hot like this?"
Sesshomaru's eyes flashed dangerously and he threw the woman away who went flying and landing on her butt. She grimaced and rubbed her sore rear then frowned up at a fuming Sesshomaru. Realizing that she had pissed him off an evil smile played with the ends of her mouth. Then she pretended to be hurt by this. She crossed her arms, not trying to get off the ground.
"I get it, you're actually in love with Yoshiko!" cried the woman. "But how do you know I'm not the real thing and the one you just kissed was the fake?"
He felt something clench over his heart at somebody else uttering the words when he had yet to say them. He bawled his hand up in a fist in an attempt to try and calm down. But still the woman looked up at him, blinking as if hurt emotionally. Finally the woman sighed and got to her feet, brushing off.
"This isn't working!" pouted the woman. "Just like with that half-demon mutt and that wretched girl!"
Stomping her foot, a light started from her feet and up. As it did so sandals appeared on her feet, a bluish skirt kimono covered her legs, her torso was covered by the top of the kimono and her hair turned a silky black. This, Sesshomaru guessed to be, was the woman's true form. The woman turned half away from him, her arms crossed and her bottom lip jutting out in a baby way. Sesshomaru was starting to get annoyed and knew she was only stalling for time.
"What does InuYasha have to do with this?" snapped Sesshomaru.
"Well, for one, he has stones that Kamatari wants and he wanted me to get them!" cried the woman, her voice getting higher and higher. "So I pretended to be this girl he supposedly liked but nooo! He had to be smart and asked stupid damn questions that I didn't know the answer to. And so to shut him the hell up I kissed him. But nooo! That strange assed girl had to show up and ruin it. AND THEN HE WALKED OFF, LEAVING ME ALONE!"
By this time this woman just all around annoyed Sesshomaru. To shut her up he punched her, completely knocking her out. Rolling his eyes, he picked her up and carried her off. Then unceremoniously he dropped her in a bush where she lay there moaning for a minute. When she opened an eye to glare up at Sesshomaru he walked off. Hopefully Jaken would realize he was gone and look after Rin. In the meantime he would have to see if maybe, just maybe, Yoshiko hadn't gone after Kamatari.
She was starting to wonder if she was ever going to run into Kamatari. Of course, she knew it was a bad idea to let him come up to her, probably surprising her, but it wasn't like she knew where he was. Plus she just really didn't care anymore, letting herself go numb inside. This was almost starting to turn into a suicidal mission. She wondered what Sueko would say but she couldn't seem to bring the girl's face to her mind. In fact, she couldn't really think of much of anything. Not even her brother.
Just as she was starting to get worried Yoshiko wandered out into a clearing and standing on a slight rise was Kamatari. He smirked at the half tiger demon and a sword quickly jumped into his hand. Before she could do anything he suddenly appeared before her, slashing out and cutting her side. Crying out, Yoshiko grabbed her side and stumbled backwards. When she hit a tree she quickly ducked out of the way of another blow. She came around behind Kamatari and moved her hand to her sword hilt.
Before she could draw it the demon spun around and stabbed Yoshiko's right shoulder. Growling angrily, Yoshiko jumped into the branches of a trees to try and stall for time. Taking deep breaths, she quickly drew her sword and jumped backwards out of the tree. As soon as her feet hit the ground she had to raise her weapon to block an attack. Already she was starting to pant and she had hardly started fighting. This was ridiculous! She was going to die like her brother and father. Without anybody around to really know how and why. And right then that wasn't what she wanted.
'What am I waiting for, though?' she reprimanded herself. 'Sesshomaru to show up? Like that's going to happen.'
Resolving herself for her lonely fate she pushed Kamatari away and rushed around him so as not to have the trees to her back. But when she turned around he wasn't there anymore. Worried, she glanced around until an arm wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her side. This would have been quite useless to stop her if the arm hadn't soon been followed by a blade at her neck. She heard Kamatari laugh sneeringly into her ear as she realized that she was going to die.
'At least I'll be able to see my brother,' she thought, going limp in Kamatari's grasp and dropping her sword.
He could tell everybody was worried about Yoshiko but he couldn't get why he was pacing. InuYasha crossed his arms on his tenth trip over the same patch of earth as Sueko watched him. Finally she lost her patience and jumped to her feet. Before she could yell at him or Sango could calm the girl down a familiar scent came to his sensitive nose. Sighing, he suddenly realized that this was what he had been waiting for. Though how he knew Sesshomaru would show up, he had no idea. Sighing again, he turned toward his older brother.
"What the hell do you want?" snapped Sueko, walking to stand next to InuYasha. "Because Yoshiko isn't here, she went to go talk to you!"
"I know. She came," said Sesshomaru. Something in the demon's eyes made InuYasha feel something close to pity for him. "I was hoping she had come back here."
"Why would she do that?" asked Sango, still sitting on the porch of the hut. "If anything she would have gone after Kamatari to get Rin."
Almost sadly Sesshomaru looked away, making InuYasha blink in confusion. Then he understood. Sesshomaru had known Yoshiko had gone after Kamatari but didn't want to believe it. Because then he would have to realize that most likely she was going to die. But then that would have to mean that Sesshomaru actually cared. Probably more than just cared. Which would also mean InuYasha would have to realize his brother wasn't as heartless as he seemed.
"So, what you going to do about it?" sighed InuYasha, dropping his arms to his side. "It seems kind of stupid to be standing around here while she's off fighting Kamatari alone."
Sesshomaru glanced at him and then practically ran off. Sueko blinked after him and then turned toward InuYasha who shook his head and then followed his brother. He was pretty far behind but he was following the same scent trail as Sesshomaru. Most likely they would come out at the same place. Then again, he wasn't exactly sure why he was following Sesshomaru. It was almost as if he was worried about how his brother might react if Yoshiko was killed.
'If it was me I would probably freak out,' thought InuYasha. 'Kind of like when Kagome died…'
But unlike InuYasha, Sesshomaru had the Tensaiga. A sword that could bring people back from the dead if he cared at all about the mortal. As far as he knew Sesshomaru had used it once before to bring the little girl, Rin, back from the dead. If what he thought was true then if Yoshiko died his brother should be able to bring her back. And yet he had a feeling Sesshomaru would need reminding of this fact.
A wind went through the quiet clearing as Sesshomaru stepped out of the trees and looked upon Kamatari holding Yoshiko captive. Fear and anger coursed through him but he was able to keep a calm face as he slowly walked closer. When Kamatari tightened his grip on the half-demon Sesshomaru stopped. A smile was crossing across Kamatari's face and Sesshomaru could almost hear the laugh that was threatening to come up. But the strangest thing was the resolved look on Yoshiko's face as she looked down upon Sesshomaru with almost glazed eyes.
"Lord Sesshomaru, so glad you could join us," said Kamatari, a hint of a laugh on his voice. "You're just in time for the grand finale."
"Let her go," growled Sesshomaru. "She's not a part of this."
"But you see, she's all about this!" laughed Kamatari. "If my quarrel was with you I would never have gone to her. Or I might have just kidnapped her instead of the little girl."
Sesshomaru just glared at the demon, his eyes narrowing. Kamatari raised his eyebrows questioningly and then started laughing again. The sound rang in Sesshomaru's ears, causing his blood to boil. When Kamatari finally calmed down he stared down upon Sesshomaru with an almost sad smile on his face.
"What's a matter? As far as I know you wouldn't have hesitated to kill me, no matter who was in the way," said Kamatari. "What's so different this time? Could it be that you actually care for this half-demon?"
Once again Sesshomaru found it angering that another could see what he had only just realized. Something he had yet to say out loud. But what made it even more painful was that there seemed to be no change on Yoshiko's face. She just stared down at him, as if trying to say something. In this moment he looked into her eyes to try and find out what it was. But he never got a chance for in that moment Kamatari grabbed Yoshiko's arm and held her out.
"Here, Lord Sesshomaru, I do believe this belongs to you," said Kamatari, pushing the half-demon out.
As he did so it seemed time slowed down and Sesshomaru was watching as Yoshiko stumbled down the hill. Then there was a flash of red as Kamatari stabbed Yoshiko in the chest. Pain spread over her face as she started to fall forward and Sesshomaru caught her. Slowly he lowered her to the ground as she grimaced in pain. He looked up to glare at Kamatari but the demon just shrugged, turned away and disappeared. He looked back down to see Yoshiko smiling at him sadly.
"Tell Rin good-bye for me," she said in little more than a whisper.
"You're giving up?" growled Sesshomaru, as the woman's eyes closed and her breathing stopped.
Laying her down on the grass he got to his feet, feeling numb all over. He didn't know exactly how he should feel and as if looking for an answer he looked over at his brother, just realizing he was there. InuYasha was looking down at Yoshiko but the look in his eyes made Sesshomaru realize he wasn't really seeing her. He was remembering something else—or someone else. Then a hardened expression came over InuYasha as he looked up at Sesshomaru.
"You're just a lucky bastard," he growled.
"Excuse me?" said Sesshomaru, raising his eyebrows.
"With the Tensaiga you don't have to lose anybody," snapped InuYasha. "And all I've gone is a rusty old blade!"
"I may not be able to lose anybody to death," said Sesshomaru quietly, looking down at Yoshiko. "But there are other ways to lose a person."
He thought back to Yoshiko pulling out of his grasp after the kiss. Then he turned back to his brother.
"It should not have come down to this," he added. "There should have been no reason to use the Tensaiga."
"Yeah, well," said InuYasha, shaking. "WHERE WAS THE TENSAIGA WHEN KAGOME DIED?"
Sesshomaru couldn't quite recall who this Kagome was but thought that she was probably that girl wearing the green outfit. Then he realized that was probably the person InuYasha had been seeing, looking down upon Yoshiko. But he really didn't care and turned away. Drawing the Tensaiga, he suddenly was able to see the minions of the underworld. With two sweeps over Yoshiko's body he was able to destroy them and, hopefully, bring her back. He put the sword away and got down on his knees. Before he could do much of anything he could suddenly hear Yoshiko's heartbeat and her eyes opened.
It hadn't been his point to blame Sesshomaru for Kagome's death. In fact, he hadn't even planned on bringing her up. But seeing Yoshiko's pale, bleeding form the first thing that had come to his mind had been Kagome. He had thought that he had been over it. And maybe he was. It could have just been a one-time thing and sooner or later it would go away. Besides, he didn't really love Kagome anymore. And she apparently didn't want him to.
When Yoshiko's eyes opened, almost immediately she rolled over and got to her feet. She walked away from Sesshomaru a small distance, standing on the small hill that Kamatari had been on moments before. Her arms were wrapped around her as if she was cold. Something about her seemed quite familiar to InuYasha but he couldn't put his finger on what. When nobody said anything, least off all Sesshomaru—in fact he didn't even move—InuYasha decided to speak up.
"You okay?" he asked Yoshiko.
"I'm alive," she replied icily. Something in the way she said it annoyed InuYasha.
Rolling his eyes, he said, "You know, Sesshomaru just brought you back to life. Least you can do is be grateful!"
"What if I didn't want to be brought back?" said Yoshiko, shaking and putting her arms at her side, her hands in fists. "What do I have to live for, anyways?"
Quickly InuYasha glanced at Sesshomaru but his face was completely impassive. It was almost like he didn't care what she had to say or… he had known it was coming. But how could he have? Had there been something about Yoshiko that they had missed as her friends? Then he remembered the night of the half moon when she had staid up writing. He had noticed that she was completely pale. And then she came back looking worse than when she left. Could it be that she had wanted to die from the begging? Had she been contemplating this suicide even then? How come she had never said anything?
"Well, your friends for one thing," said InuYasha quickly. Her manner still reminded him of someone but he really couldn't think of whom. It was driving him crazy.
"Oh?" said Yoshiko, dipping her head down to hide her eyes. Then she spun around, her eyes blazing with an inner fire. "What gave you the right to bring me back?" she shouted, glaring down at Sesshomaru.
It was in that moment that InuYasha realized she was acting almost exactly like Kikyo when she had been brought back to life. Still, Kikyo's raving had made sense even if it had hurt InuYasha. Yoshiko screaming and blaming Sesshomaru made little to no sense. All he had done was practically heal her wounds and call back her soul because… well, he couldn't live without her? InuYasha turned to his brother and saw Sesshomaru looking down at the ground, his face almost completely hidden.
"What are you berating him about?" snapped InuYasha, almost feeling sorry for the demon. "If your places had been switched, what would you have done?"
For a split second it almost looked as if Yoshiko was about to change her tune, but then she turned on InuYasha, glaring. Under the full force of her fury InuYasha took a half step backwards. Before either half-demons could say anything, Sesshomaru got to his feet. Both Yoshiko and InuYasha glanced at him as he looked up at her slowly.
"Yoshiko—" he started in a low voice.
Then Yoshiko's face hardened as she put her hands to her ears.
"Don't say it!" she cried, confusing InuYasha.
A sad look crossed Sesshomaru's face but he didn't say anything. Instead he turned and started walking away. Feeling that things were going all wrong, InuYasha called after him.
"Where are you going?" he called.
Sesshomaru glanced over his shoulder at InuYasha.
"She doesn't need to be anywhere she doesn't want to," he said quietly, before leaving completely.
InuYasha stared after him in shock before rounding on Yoshiko who looked like she really didn't care. Except for the fact that her eyes didn't wander from the place that Sesshomaru had disappeared into. Putting his hands on his hips, InuYasha sighed.
"Well?" he snapped.
"What?" said Yoshiko quietly.
"Are you going to go after him or not?" cried InuYasha.
"Why should I?" asked Yoshiko quite seriously.
"Because… because…" stuttered InuYasha, trying to think of a perfectly good reason that even Yoshiko couldn't argue with.
"It was his choice," sighed Yoshiko, turning and walking away.
"You didn't leave him much of choice!" shouted InuYasha. "And he may very well have—"
"Shut up!" shouted Yoshiko. "Just shut up!"
"What the hell?" cried InuYasha. "You won't even let me say it, let alone him!"
"Because if I don't hear it I become attached and lose him," muttered Yoshiko. "Like last time…"
"That's some messed up logic," reprimanded InuYasha.
"Can we just drop it, please?" pleaded Yoshiko, looking at him as if about to cry.
Sighing, InuYasha shrugged and walked off with Yoshiko to where the others were waiting.
"So, did you save Rin?" asked Sueko as Yoshiko walked out of the trees and toward the hut.
She didn't answer but just walked right into the hut, letting the flap flutter in the wind slightly. Sighing, she sat down in a dark corner and tried to think everything over. But the only thing she could think of was Sesshomaru. Where was he now? Had he forgotten about her completely? And what had he told Rin? Maybe he was pretending she was dead. That's what she hoped anyways. But at the same time it hurt. Just as she was lying down to try and get some sleep, the conversation outside came to her sensitive ears.
"What happened?" Sango was saying somewhere near the doorway.
"I think it would probably be best if we didn't disturb her for now," sighed InuYasha, and Yoshiko heard someone move away from the hut.
"Well?" said Miroku. "Was she able to kill Kamatari?"
"No," said InuYasha.
"Didn't expect her to," said Miroku. "Just wondering."
"No, she decided that the whole point of this was to get herself killed," said InuYasha moodily.
"What?" cried Sueko. "Is she okay? Did she get hurt?"
"Yeah, she actually got herself killed!" said InuYasha.
"Huh? How does that work?" said Sueko in confusion. "She looked alive when she walked over here, unless she's a ghost."
"She's not a ghost," said InuYasha impatiently. "Sesshomaru brought her back with the Tensaiga."
"But that would mean—" started Miroku.
"Yeah," sighed InuYasha. "But she almost refuses to listen. She practically bit his head off when he tried to say it."
"I don't get it," said Shippo.
"You're young," said Sango in the nicest way she could.
During all of this Yoshiko had moved from her back to her side, facing the wall. She tried to shut the voices out but couldn't seem to fall asleep or ignore them. Besides, they were talking about her…
"But what was even more frustrating was that she acted almost exactly like Kikyo with her pity party about not wanting to come back and all that crap," growled InuYasha. "So I don't blame Sesshomaru when he just walked away."
"And she just let him?" said Sango in horror.
"Yup, the idiot," said InuYasha. "Now she may never get a second chance. I'm not sure if I would anyways."
"You sure gave Kikyo more than enough chances," said Shippo in an accusing way.
"Well, she's not Kikyo," said InuYasha. "And besides, if you haven't noticed, I've changed since then!"
"You have?" joked Sango. "Could have fooled us!"
"I believe Sesshomaru may have changed more than you," laughed Miroku. "Do you think that maybe it was Yoshiko that changed him?"
By this time tears had come to her eyes as she tried desperately to block them out. But everything they said seemed to echo in her head ten times louder than it actually was. Slowly she sat back up and moved to the doorway of the hut. But InuYasha kept talking, she put her back to the wall to keep out of sight.
"I don't know. She could have but I don't see how," said InuYasha. "Not like she has changed that much herself."
"She has been through quite a lot," pointed out Sango in a pitying way.
"Yeah well… I wish she would let go of whoever hurt her so much in the past that she seemed unable to except Sesshomaru as part of her life," said InuYasha. "I of all people know it's hard but… she isn't even giving it a try!"
"Who are you to lecture me?" snapped Yoshiko, now standing in the doorway of the hut.
"You were listening?" cried Sueko.
"Figured as much…" muttered InuYasha in a knowing way.
"You have no idea what I've been through!" shouted Yoshiko.
"How can we if you never talk about it?" InuYasha yelled back, getting to his feet. "All I really see is a pathetic girl that just wants everybody to feel sorry for her so she doesn't feel guilty about holding onto some depressing past she had!"
"I'm tired…" muttered Yoshiko, looking at her feet and starting to cry. "I'm tried of what I am and everything else about my life. I'm not a demon but everybody acts and thinks that I am. I'm not a human but I want to be more than anything! All the people that ever acted like I was are long dead. And nobody seems to understand that I'm not holding onto my past by trying desperately to forget it! NOW TELL ME IF I'M BEING PATHETIC!"
"We can't read you mind," said InuYasha simply, lying down as if to go to sleep. "All you have to do is come out and say what you're thinking and at least one of us will listen. But I guess you have a problem with listening yourself."
"What do you want from me?" asked Yoshiko in a shaking voice.
"The question is what are you denying yourself that you want more than anything," said InuYasha. "Now it's late—or early—and I suggest you get some rest. Night!"
It was the one horrible thing about spring that Yoshiko just right out despised: it never seemed to stop raining. Sure, she could stand some water, a slight drizzle. She could even take a bath in the river. But when it started raining like this she preferred not to be standing out in the rain. Sure, it wasn't raining as much as when Sueko and InuYasha "got back together" but it was still more than she would like. Surprisingly, this time around she didn't have to complain about the rain. Nobody made her get up and leave in the pouring rain. They just sat off talking in their own little corner until she got so annoyed she walked out onto the porch.
She sat there watching the rainfall for a whole half an hour before somebody came out to check on her. It kind of annoyed her how nice they were trying to be. In fact, she would have preferred somebody to come to see her right away or never come out. But Sueko had decided to wait a little while. Actually, InuYasha had probably told her to give her some space. When the girl saw that Yoshiko was just sitting on the porch Sueko decided to sit down next to her. It was a little more than she expected but it still annoyed her. Most likely Sueko would want to talk and she wasn't exactly sure if she wanted to talk and if she did, what about.
"What's so amazing that you'd rather sit in the cold watching it then sitting inside listening to us?" teased Sueko. Yoshiko just rolled her eyes. "Fine, Miss Stingy! Don't laugh at a good joke."
"I'm not in the mood," sighed Yoshiko, leaning her head onto her knees. "What does InuYasha want this time?"
"Can't I just come out to talk to my friend?" cried Sueko. "Sheesh, what makes you think InuYasha sent me?"
"Because he seems to enjoy butting into my life," muttered Yoshiko.
"Well, you butt into his life!" said Sueko. "At least, that's what Sango says, anyways. And of course you butt into her life as well!"
"Your point?" said Yoshiko, looking away from Sueko while wishing she would just go away.
"Look, we're all worried about you," said Sueko, suddenly very serious. "You haven't said much of anything, haven't eaten at all and you're hardly slept! Okay, this is worse than when you first met Sesshomaru!"
Tears threatened to come forth at this comment as Yoshiko tried desperately to think of anything but Sesshomaru. But at what Sueko had said she recalled waking up and seeing Rin sitting over her, singing. The little girl had been so kind to her, making her feel like she was part of their strange little group. She had even hinted to Yoshiko being her mother figure. Shaking her head slightly, she looked up to look at Sueko.
"What's so horrible about your life that you would want to die?" asked Sueko in little more than a whisper.
Yoshiko's thoughts wandered back to her encounter with Koga and the flowers. It had been a sweet gesture, she realized that now, but what good would flowers do to fix her life? Nothing much could! Thirteen years ago she lost her stepmother and she got into a big fight with her father. Twelve years ago her father died and she had to leave her brother. Eight years ago she burned a village just to killed a freakin' demon. Six years ago she met Raoul and almost thought she had found her happy ending. A year later he died and she was left alone again. Plus not to mention the village she burned, the time she spent with the tiger demons and now this! There was no way she was ever going to live the life she wanted to.
She tried to think of a way to best explain it but the only thing she could think of that Sueko might actually understand was Godric and Raoul. So slowly and timidly she began to explain how much she had loved her brother. How it seemed he could just take away her bad dreams. Then suddenly his mother died and she was forced to be strong for him. But for some reason he thought it was best for her to leave so she did, hoping it would help him. After a while, when she had given up hope of anything and everything she had stumbled across a village that didn't mistake her as a demon.
In fact, everybody was fascinated with her and practically begged her to stay with them—so she stayed a night. Then she found herself staying another day… then a week. Finally months were going by and she was almost living in this village. And during her very long stay she had met a kind farmer boy who enjoyed picking her flowers. She was starting to forget all about her old village and starting to think of that as home. But not too long after Raoul had proposed he had been killed. Devastated, Yoshiko had wandered off feeling like an empty shell. Then it wasn't too long after that she heard about Sueko and decided to check it out.
Upon finishing Sueko leaned over and gave her a big hug around the neck but this reminded Yoshiko too much of Rin so she stood up. Blinking, the girl looked up at her almost in a hurting way. But when Yoshiko didn't fall for it, Sueko sighed and crossed her arms.
"Look, are you going to be all depressed just because your boyfriend died?" said Sueko exasperatedly. "Okay, so he was a little more than a boyfriend… whatever!"
"It's more than just her… er… boyfriend," said Sango, stepping out of the hut. At this Yoshiko cried out in annoyance.
"Is everybody just going to just watch me until I'm better?" she snapped.
"Well, I was getting annoyed at Miroku glancing at my butt so I decided to step out," shrugged Sango. "I heard that you were talking so I waited until you were done."
"I get no privacy…" muttered Yoshiko. "Everybody thinks it's okay to make my life their business."
"Anyways," said Sango, changing the subject probably because this would turn into a large argument. "I personally think it's the whole 'she's had people she should be protecting, her brother, Raoul, but she feels like she's failed.'"
"Don't assume anything," snapped Yoshiko.
"I'm not, I'm giving my deduction," said Sango. "But if that's not it, why don't you tell us what it is!"
"I just miss them… My father, my brother… Raoul," said Yoshiko, looking down at her feet and trying desperately not to cry again. "It's as simple as that. I just want to see them all again."
"So you're going to kill yourself to see them?" said Sueko in horror. "Oh, that's real smart!"
"People do it," said Sango. "I almost did it myself but InuYasha stopped me from killing Kohaku."
"Wow, InuYasha's sweeter than I thought!" said Sueko almost dreamily.
"Oh yeah, it's sweet to stop people from doing what they want," muttered Yoshiko, rolling her eyes. "Sounds like he's been butting into people's lives more than me!"
"Well, maybe he's been butting into people's lives because he actually cares about them and doesn't want them to kill themselves!" said Sueko airily.
Sighing, Yoshiko walked off the porch into the pouring rain and off into the night. After a while she sort of got annoyed of being wet but didn't think about turning around and going back to the hut. A thought came to her mind that if she staid out too long she would catch a cold. But a second later she really didn't care.
'What are you going to try and get really sick and die?' thought Yoshiko bitterly.
Now that would be really pathetic. But no, she didn't really feel like she wanted to die anymore. It was too depressing a thought. Then what was it that she wanted to so badly it hurt? Maybe… Maybe she just wanted to be with Sesshomaru. She had thought she didn't care that he had just walked away but now she knew otherwise. If he disappeared from her life completely then she would never get to see Rin again. She would never have anywhere to go when being with InuYasha and the others were boring. No place that she could maybe feel like it was home. And… and what? Couldn't she just admit that she missed him and might even…
During this time tears had come unbidden to her eyes and were streaming down her cheeks. But she hardly noticed or cared. Instead she walked, mulling over all her thoughts and memories of being with Sesshomaru. She didn't just miss him. It wouldn't hurt so much if she simply missed him. She missed Sueko whenever she went home but she didn't miss Sesshomaru. But there seemed no possible word to explain how she felt. All she did know that part of it was over the fact that she practically forced him to go. By refusing to listen, blaming him for doing something she probably would have done herself and running away after the kiss. If there was one good way to push a guy away that would be the best. Probably the only good advice she could give anybody was how best to push people away.
But she didn't want Sesshomaru to leave. She didn't want to push him away. And for the first time she didn't really like the fact that he was hanging around with her aunt! Or it bothered her that her aunt was hanging around with him. Either way it suddenly bothered her. Rheda could be kind in her own way. She was sure to make Rin completely adore her! So where would that put Yoshiko? Not that she ever had much of a place before. But Rheda would probably have fun making it so that they wouldn't miss her in the least. All she wanted though was to see Sesshomaru again—and Rin of course. If Rheda was going to take that away from her then she was more than just cruel, she was evil!
Although Rheda had never taken anything away from her, and this she most definitely didn't. No, Yoshiko had brought this upon herself. She had been stupid and snapped at the guy who cared about her well being. He hadn't wanted her to die. Even before she actually went off to fight Kamatari he had practically said it. There was no possible way he was going to let her face Kamatari. In fact… she had said something similar herself. Then there was the fact that he had brought her back to life. From what she heard the Tensaiga could only be used if you actually cared. That along with the kiss… there was no denying that Sesshomaru probably loved her.
That exactly, though, was what scared her so much. Because it meant that he would want to know if she loved him back. Then she would have to actually think about it. Was it really love she was feeling or did just want to love him? Besides guys that love girls normally do anything for them, even get themselves killed. How could Yoshiko live if Sesshomaru died for her? Feeling lonely and frustrated, Yoshiko suddenly got an urge to scream. There was so many things she wanted to say but couldn't. In such a short time her life had been wonderful then she ran away. And the only person she had to blame was herself. At that the tears started coming faster. Sadly, Yoshiko turned her face up to the sky, staring up at the few stars poking out of the clouds.
"I'm sorry, okay? I MADE A MISTAKE, DAMN IT! Just…" she cried, then looked down at the ground. "Please come back. Don't leave me now…"