Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Without a Trace.
A/N: The lyrics I've used in this story comes from the song "Baby Goodbye" by the group Friday Hill.
Red and yellow leafs filled the air as the wind blew through the park. She had stormed out, without even getting her coat. A stupid decision, obviously. She hugged herself, shivering in the cold November-air. She never wanted Jack to know about them, she never wanted Danny to tell stupid jokes about their future kids, she never wanted Vivian to look at her with that look in her eyes telling her she really didn't approve. She felt dirty, like she really was sleeping her way through the team, even though that never was the plan.
Maybe Martin was right. Maybe they didn't want the same things? But then why had his words felt like knifes to her heart?
Lookin' in your eyes I see a new story,
I can't deny my past ain't perfect too,
Singin', I'm not here to get false answers,
But just like you I got true questions too
She felt tears sting her eyes as she thought about their fight. A fight that she knew was coming, a fight that she had preferred having at his apartment or even better hers, that way she could throw him out, not in the office!
…15 minutes earlier, Bull Pen
"Are you okay?"
She lifted her eyes from her computer and looked at a worried looking Martin.
"I'm fine" she stood up.
He embraced her, holding her tight, whispering in her ear. "I was so scared. When Danny called telling me about how he'd lost you in that big house and then found you with that sick bastard, holding a gun to your head, I didn't know who's head to rip off first, Danny's or Carson's."
He stroke her back and she quickly pulled away from him.
He looked hurt, not understanding what he'd done wrong.
I never wanna let you go
in your eyes I can tell that it's what we both know
I never wanna see you cry
Our love's over girl
Baby let it die...
Now baby, baby, baby...
"I know that being threatened by a gun must have brought back some bad memories from that bookstore and-" he reached out for her again, stroking her cheek with his thumb, cupping her head in his hand.
"Stop it Martin!" She snapped taking a few steps away from him leaving his arm hanging. "Not here, okay. Remember, we just work together… I don't want people to see us as a couple!" She desperately wanted to go back to her research, finishing this later, a bit more private but he wouldn't back down.
His face was cold. "But people know! They have seen us as a couple! Tell me why I should pretend anymore!"
If he could raise his voice so could she.
"They know because you let them know! I wasn't ready for this, and I told you so, you just didn't listen" she yelled.
She could feel people staring at her and Martin. Jack, Danny, Vivian, even the receptionist that had come up to flirt with Danny, claiming she had some important message to deliver to him. She didn't care. It was Martin's fault anyway…
I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sittin' here thinkin', passin' the time
I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye
"Oh, that's right! You're Samantha Spade, the woman who can't handle being a grown-up. You're so afraid of that white fence, baby stroller and Volvo that you just have to go for men who's already been there, done that. What, I'm not old and grumpy enough for ya? Huh?" He yelled back at her and each of his hurting words felt like a physical blow to her chest.
She blinked her tears away.
"People say you'd sleep with anyone in this building. Guess Danny's out of the picture after all, being under 50!"
He loved her so much and weeks of her keeping him at a distance, and the frustration and confusion it had caused him filled his head with nasty thoughts that just kept coming out of his mouth. He couldn't stop himself.
Hearin' your voice just makes me remember,
all those times where we were nothing more than friends,
I knew you, you knew me and everything was plain to see.
How did I let us get so deep...?
Her head was on the other hand empty. Her chest filled with pain and her heart filled with screams. If her head hadn't been empty it had probably told her to let one of those screams out somehow stopping Martin but her screams stayed in her heart, eating it up from the inside.
She turned and ran for the stairs. Forget about waiting for the elevator, that damn thing wasn't quick enough. She needed to get out of there…
…Park
Her tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She felt her legs giving out from under her. She fell to her knees on the grass, the leafs dancing in circles around her. The sounds of traffic seemed to be miles away. The only thing she could hear was her own cries. Her throat felt tight, as if someone slowly tightened a rope around her neck. She gasped for air… she was practically fighting for it now… why couldn't she breathe? She tried so hard, panicking when her lungs stayed empty… She was about to give in, just lay there in the wet, cold grass, letting the darkness inside her consume her.
I never wanna let you go
In your eyes I can tell that its what we both know
I never wanna see you cry
Our love's over girl
Baby let it die...
Now baby, baby, baby...
She let her body go. She waited for the ground to come up and meet her but somehow stayed on her knees. She opened her eyes slowly, suddenly aware of the hands holding her up by her shoulders.
Danny sat down beside her in the wet grass. He stroked her tears away from her red cheeks with his thumbs. She felt the tight rope around her neck disappear and gasped as the cold air filled her tired lungs. He held her close.
"He's miserable. He didn't mean what he said." He said to her in a hushed voice. He looked into her watery eyes seeing right through her in the way no one but he could. They knew each other so well. They understood each other and Danny saw her like his little sister and best friend in the same time.
I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sittin' here thinkin, passin' the time
I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye
"What he said is true…" her voice shook with emotion. Being who she was she bottled things up. She hated letting people around her see what she was feeling. Special Agent Spade breaking down… or feeling much of anything else… just pathetic, right? People had a enough hard time getting past her blond hair, she was just afraid it would be absolutely impossible for people to take her seriously if she let to much emotion slip. "I've treated him so badly"
"What he said is not true and yes you haven't really treated him like the amazing, caring guy he is. He really loves you, you know"
She gave him a small smile. "And I love him, I'm just not sure I'm ready to let him know that yet. I let Jack know and what happened? It all turned on me and I ended up feeling so hurt!"
Danny held her close again whispering small, comforting words in her ear. He rubbed her back. "He knows you love him. He's just proud to have you as his girlfriend, that's what love does to you. You want to show the whole world how lucky you feel…"
Sam hugged him back, breathing out heavily. "I wish I was ready to show the world"
"Take it slow. Let me, Viv and Jack be the world for now. Show us all how proud you are to be with him." He smiled at her. "Lets go inside. I have a very sorry, very in love Marty in the hall being held down by Security"
She laughed, letting Danny help her to her feet.
I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sittin' here thinkin, passin' the time
I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye
She would go her way and he would go his, and halfway they would meet and go the rest of the way together.
Her and Danny rushed over the busy street and she was greeted by the big doors swinging open. Martin ran towards her his face pale his eyes sad. She ran into his arms holding on to him for life. He wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so sorry!" He told her over and over again.
They'd had the fight, the fight they both knew were coming. The fight that would bring them closer than ever or tare them apart forever. His heart beating hard against her chest, she knew that they were everything but over. They were just getting started.
The EndSo what do you think? Was it confusing? I hope not. Well I better go to bed now. Review and tell me what you think, thanks