The Photograph

He couldn't expect Sirius to risk so much and stay passive himself hoping that Lily would take another step towards him while he did nothing. Besides, his two friends being happy was important enough to risk being rejected by Lily, it would only be another time he was turned down by her. It didn't really matter that much, he told himself firmly.

"OK, fine. I'm writing her that letter tomorrow. But if you haven't talked to Moony by the time we get off the Hogwarts Express, I'm telling him myself."

Chapter 3- Letters

The next morning, Sirius was wondering why he had been stupid enough to agree and was pacing around the room trying to find a way out of telling Remus. James expected him to tell Remus, whether Lily agreed to go out with him or not, so he couldn't hope that she would say no or write her a letter as well telling her to turn James down as politely as possible.

Maybe he should write a letter to Remus and show it to James to make sure he believed that Sirius was telling Remus and then make sure the letter never reached Remus by telling the owl to drop it over a deep lake or to deliver it to a total stranger. Sirius quickly realised that this wouldn't work: James would expect an answer from Remus and confront him if no reply ever arrived. Sirius realised there was no way out.

He paced even faster as he tried to think of ways to tell Remus. James had said the train was the absolute deadline and Sirius knew it was better to get over with it as soon as possible. Maybe he should really send Remus a letter, or he should speak to him while they were in Diagon alley. Peter wasn't coming (he wasn't returning from his holidays in Italy till the next day) so if Lily accepted James' invitation, they would have lots of time together while James and Lily ate their ice-creams.

Sirius knew that though it wouldn't be hard to find a the time to tell Remus, it would be extremely difficult to find the right words. This was a reason he favoured writing a letter, he at least had enough time to think up the right words and he wouldn't start stuttering, mumbling and blushing when he tried to tell Remus. He would be able to plan everything perfectly and find the perfect way to say it.

On the other hand, he would have to wait so long for Remus' reaction even if Remus wrote straight back. And if Remus chose not to reply at all, there would be an terribly odd meeting at Diagon alley, the train-station or, if Remus avoided him on the train, at Hogwarts.

Writing a letter might make it possible for Remus not to say anything about Sirius being in love with him at all. That was the worst thought for Sirius, that Remus might know all about his feelings for him but that he wouldn't say a word about it. Sirius didn't know what he would do then, it would be even harder to talk about it with Remus if he knew he didn't accept it. Probably James would confront Remus and try persuading him to speak with Sirius and that would be embarrassing for all of them and then Remus' acceptance wouldn't be honest.

James was starting to be terribly annoyed by Sirius.

"Padfoot, I'm trying to write Lily this letter and it is hard enough without you pacing around as if you were going mad. I don't know what I'll have to do to you if you don't give me some peace soon. Why don't you just sit down and write to Moony now?"

Sirius sat down on James' bed and took out a sheet of paper and a quill as well.

"Sorry, Prongs but I have no idea of how to tell him. This whole thing is making me so nervous. If you can't think of what to write Lily either, why don't we just call off this stupid thing?"

"No way, Padfoot! You're not going to back out of this. Just stop worrying and start writing, you'll think of something."

Sirius tried writing but as soon as he got past 'Dear Remus', he had no idea of what to say.

Everything that came into his mind was either sappy or he felt that it sounded too much as if he was apologising for being in love.

James was writing at his desk as if he were out of time but he never seemed to get very far with his letters either; he always scrunched them up and threw them away after a while. After half an hour, the wastebasket was overflowing and Sirius still only had the two words on his letter.

Sirius was considering asking James to call the whole thing off again, maybe James would give in this time, when James stretched.

"OK, I guess this letter will have to do. I don't think I can come up with anything much better, although it isn't really much more than a short note. How is your letter doing?"

"Great question, Prongs. I'm as far as 'Dear Remus', I can't think of anything else."

"Well, that's a long letter, Padfoot. I'm sure he will understand everything you want to say from those two words."

"Stop making fun of me. Do you have any idea that it isn't really easy to tell one of your best friends that you are in love with him? I don't write a letter like this every day, you know."

"You are repeating yourself. I think I heard something that sounded pretty much the same last night. If you just start writing, you will come up with something."

"You don't realise that you spent almost two hours writing Lily that short note, do you? It doesn't seem to be easy that way either. Anyway, I just decided to tell Remus instead of writing him a letter. Can I see your letter to Lily?"

"It isn't much," James said, handing Sirius the letter.

'Dear Lily,

I hope you had great holidays in Wales.

I am going to Diagon Alley on Tuesday and was wondering if we could meet there. We could go to Florescue's Ice Cream Parlour and talk a bit. I really look forward to seeing you again.

Please tell me if you can come or not.

James

"Impressing how long you needed to write Lily this little letter and ask her to meet you at Florescue's, Prongs, but it isn't bad. You even sound sensible in it, Lily will like that. I bet she will say yes. It definitely is easier for you to write that letter than for me to write mine. Well, I'm telling Remus face to face, probably in Diagon Alley."

"Do that, you should get over with it as soon as possible. And don't forget, the deadline is when we get off the train."

Sorry, I know that was quite short but I promise the next chapter will be longer. As always, thanks for your reviews; I never realised how good reviews could make you feel until I started posting stories here myself, so keep reviewing!