The Photograph

"And… what if somebody knew about you being a werewolf and didn't mind?"

"That would probably be the only possibility. But you guys are the only ones that know about it and I'm not about to start telling the whole world I'm a werewolf. Besides, there would be other complications about my finding someone to be together with."

"Err…Remus, well…I…err…"

But Remus wasn't listening anymore.

"Look, Sirius! There's Peter! He must have returned from Italy earlier than he thought he would. Hey Peter! Peter!"

Remus ran towards Peter and Sirius followed him slower, cursing himself for not having told Remus how he felt about him.

Chapter 5- Conversations

That evening, James was totally enthusiastic.

"It was much better than I had imagined it to be. We just talked and laughed and I didn't feel uncomfortable once. And Lily actually smiled when I took her hand! I mean, she hated me for years and now she enjoys talking with me and lets me take her hand and smiles! It is so amazing!"

"Well, she had to give in sometime. I guess it was more to keep up the pretence than the fact she didn't like you that made her tell you off recently. I'm glad that at least you aren't stupid enough to fall in love with somebody that will never love you back," Sirius replied, unable to keep the bitter undertone from his voice.

"Oh, sorry Sirius. I've been all excited and have talked about Lily since we came home and never asked how it went with Remus. Did you tell him?"

"No, we only talked about how he wouldn't be able to be together with somebody because he is a werewolf and couldn't tell anybody. He obviously didn't even consider the fact that somebody might already know and still love him. There is no way he loves me back. I wasted so much time trying to make him love me back and he has no idea what's going on with me. I wish I had never fallen in love with him!"

"So you didn't tell him?"

"I wanted to tell him but I started stuttering, not that he even seemed to notice anything. Anyway, before I could say something, Peter turned up and Remus ran over to him asking him to join us. Of course, I couldn't tell him with Peter barging along. Oh, I could kill Peter! Why does he always have to turn up in the wrong moments?"

"Don't be unfair, Sirius. It isn't his fault. It was just bad luck that he turned up in exactly the moment you wanted to tell Remus."

"I guess you are right, it was only bad luck. And he probably stopped me from doing the most stupid thing I have ever done. It is so obvious that Remus doesn't love me back, I would have ruined everything by telling him. I can't understand how I ever thought that there could even be the smallest chance of him liking me back!"

"Sirius, it was only bad luck that you couldn't tell him today. Don't even think you are out of it! You will tell Remus tomorrow on the train, or else I will. We have been through this conversation before and I still think he should know. It was only a couple of unfortunate events, I don't consider your vow fulfilled."

"James, he will be so shocked! Let me keep this a secret, I will try and stop loving him. It isn't only for me, think of how it must be for Remus to be told that one of his friends, somebody he has practically spent all his time with during the last few years always was thinking about what it would be like to be more than a friend. Imagine what you would say if someone told you that! He'll be freaked out!"

"Calm down! I'm sure he won't be freaked out and there is no way you won't tell him. Tomorrow is the absolute deadline, no excuses!"

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James and Sirius weren't the only ones talking that evening. Lily was had packed all her things for school and was as nervous as she hadn't been since she first went to Hogwarts. Only that she wasn't nervous about going to school this time, she was nervous about seeing James again.

It had been so pleasant just to sit and talk, she had never thought she would be able to lead such deep conversations with James. Her heart still started racing when she remembered how he had taken her hand.

Lily felt she would burst if she couldn't talk with somebody about the way she felt. Her parents? No, they were good and caring parents but she want to talk to them about being in love.

In love- Lily hadn't thought she would fall in love that easily but there was no other way she could call it. And then with James Potter, who she had disliked for more than six years. This was so strange.

Lily definitely couldn't talk to her older sister Petunia, though she would know what it was like to be in love. After all, Petunia never stopped talking about Vernon Dursley, with who she had been together since last year. Petunia had never been a good listener and had always made fun of Lily whenever she could.

Lily thought about who else she would be able to talk about her feelings with. She didn't really have any close friends at Hogwarts she could talk with. She always preferred being independent and staying on her own, though she didn't mind mixing with other once in a while, she preferred reading in the library.

The library! She often talked to Remus in the library, he always had an open ear for everything as she had already noticed in first year, when she had started liking him even if he had such silly, irresponsible friends. They were both muggle born and had often talked about this strange world they had come into in the first year, later about all kinds of things.

Lily quickly dialled his number and though she knew it was strange to talk about being in love with James with one of his best friends, she knew he would keep what she told him secret. Remus listened patiently as always and Lily soon calmed down a bit.

"Thank you for listening, I know it is really stupid and girlish to have to talk about these things. I'm really glad I can talk to you like this. Actually, I used to wonder if you might be jealous if I fell in love with James."

"You mean you thought I was in love with you? No, I knew James was in love with you and I would never have done that to him. Besides, I like somebody else."

"You do? Who is it?"

"Oh no, that just slipped out. Never mind, it doesn't matter."

"It does. You can tell me, it will stay a secret."

"I know you wouldn't tell anyone but…"

"I told you all about my feelings for James so you could at least tell me a name. Why don't you stop being so secretive for once? It won't hurt you to show a bit more of yourself."

"I shouldn't have said anything; you will keep asking until you know every detail. I guess I'll have to tell you. It's Sirius."

"Sirius? You… you're in love with Sirius?"

"Yes. I guess I have been for quite a long time. I hope you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't! I'm just a bit surprised. This is a bit cliché, I mean I just talked with you about all my feelings and now I find out the person I could talk to about everything is gay. Anyway, does Sirius know?"

"I haven't told anybody, you are the first I'm talking to about this. But I think I was much too obvious today in Diagon Alley. I let something slip that makes it pretty obvious that I'm in love with one of my friends and Sirius isn't stupid. He knows I am closest to him, besides he knows that I don't mind James being in love with you like I would if I liked him in a different way and well Peter, Peter is not the kind of person anyone would fall in love with that quickly, not that he isn't nice or a great friend or anything. I think Sirius understood what I said, he turned all red and started stuttering. I don't know how I could be stupid enough to fall in love with Hogwarts lady's man of all people. I don't want to know what he would say if he found out. It was luck that while he was searching for words I saw Peter and we started a new conversation."

"I don't know. I'm not sure in which way you made it obvious your in love with one of your friends but maybe he started stuttering for an entirely different reason."

"Well, I told him that someone I would be together with would have to know something about me that only they and my family know. I think that was pretty obvious."

"You mean that that someone would have to know you are a werewolf?"

"What! You know about that? Did James tell you?"

"Of course not! I don't think he would tell things like that about his friends. And besides, I think that if he would tell all your secrets, it would have been well known in the whole school for a long time already. No, I figured it out on my own years ago and once I knew, it was easy to see your friends knew as well."

"And I thought nobody else knew about it!"

"Anyway, I don't think your friends would despise you for being gay. I mean, they accepted you being a werewolf so why would they leave you alone now? Don't worry, I think Sirius will be able to cope with the fact that you are in love with him. The two of you should just have a long talk and figure out how you want your friendship to continue if he really knows about it."

"You think so? He won't be disgusted?"

"I'm pretty sure of that. Just try acting normal around him."

Both feeling reassured, Lily and Remus said good bye and hung up.

Well, it's finally Friday so I have enough time to update! Thanks for all your reviews, I sent all of you who reviewed chapters 3 and 4 e-mails (at least the signed reviews). I hope none of you minds but I think that if you do, you would have clicked that button on your account page that disables showing the e-mail.

Keep reviewing, there's one more chapter to go!