I don't need saving

Seifer had been forced to return to his room after Squall had fallen asleep, and he had wasted his time cleaning Hyperion, and doing other menial tasks that were not deemed noteworthy. The blonde man had mused deeply, mulling over the military school's commander. The brunette man was obviously bleeding inside, had been for a long time, except now his blood had stained his flesh and melted the walls keeping him together.

"What and odd thought." He thinks, looking both amused and angry. "Since Leonhart's blood is cold. I know that for sure." He sighs; he knew because he'd been stained by the brunette's blood, he knew what it felt like. Tasted like. Smelt like. He knew everything about him. Or at least he used to, but as he already learnt; things had certainly changed, and Squall was definitely one of them.

He wasn't too sure why, but seeing the once proud Lion falling into an endless pit, made him angry and upset. Angry that people had dropped him, had pushed him down, and upset because he knew he was partly to blame as well. He had also left him, pushing him down, and his disappearance had meant that he was not there to help him up, to take his hand whether he wanted it or not. To make him strong once again, and do anything and everything he could to make it 'right' again. If it had ever been 'right' to begin with. He wasn't even sure if he knew what 'right' really was anymore. Because where there was always a 'right' and 'wrong', often, both parties were in the 'right', but their own goals appeared 'wrong' to the others. Then again, sometimes people will know that what they are dong is 'wrong' but that will not stop them.

Pausing in his rather deep thoughts, he shakes his head, blonde hair unmoving under the movement, fixed still with styling gel. He was thinking /way/ too much, and he knew exactly what /that/ could do.

Damn, he really needed something to do, because lying on his bed thinking, wasn't getting him anywhere, or doing him any good. But Doc Kadowaki had told him to stay here until he was called, and he wouldn't exactly take a stroll down the halls, unless he had a deathwish. He could just imagine the effect his presence could cause, spells would come flying, all hell would break loose. At least he would be nearer to the ice prince. The thought wasn't comforting. Then again, why was he still thinking! Standing and starting to pace, the well built ex knight sighs, before tentatively opening his door and peering out. All clear so far. Who cared if he got pummelled into an unrecognisable pulp, it wasn't like he didn't deserve it. Slipping cautiously down the halls, he nearly gives himself away when a few students walk by, catching him by surprise and causing him to have to stumble backwards. Fortunately, he manages to hide behind some lockers, and gets by undetected. Finally he reaches the infirmary, and slipping past the other rooms, he comes to a halt outside the depressed male's room, where he pauses. However, he doesn't pause for long, as voices nearby hurry him onwards. Slipping into the room occupied by the male, he closes the door firmly behind himself and looks Squall over, shaking his head a little. "What the hell happened to you?" He mutters.

Silence.

"Back to not talking again, eh Leonhart?" Seifer chuckles dryly. "Never did talk much, even before everything, did you?" The blonde man sighs in exasperation. This was getting him nowhere as ever. He didn't even know if the stubborn male was awake, and if he wasn't, he was making a major ass of himself, by talking to the unconscious brunette. "C'mon, c'mon, stop blocking me out, I just want to help."

Was that a snort?

Did Squall just snort at him?

"...Squall...?" His tone is questioning, tender, caring, and his eyes reflected how he felt. Squall opens his eyes in surprise. Seifer had called him by his own name. He hadn't done that since well before the sorceress war. Not since they first came to Balamb Garden.

"You are awake." The blond Almasy states, with barely concealed surprise and annoyance. "You could at least have the decency to let me know." Seifer sits down at Squall's bedside, while Squall was frowning in confusion.

"...My...name..." He murmers softly, his thin lips barely moving to form the words. "What? Oh, yeah, I said your name. Well, it's hardly something to get all teary eyed about Squall, c'mon, is it really that big a deal?" Seifer is understandably confused when Squall's eyes turn watery, and he looks away. The blond frowns, moving to turn Squall's head back to facing him. Bad idea. The brunette tenses sharply, his breath catching and he recoils, pulling quickly away from the touch.

"Oh, sorry." Seifer quickly apologises, backing away. Squall looks at him, confused, but he says nor does anything.

"So...you gonna tell me what happened last time?" Seifer asks cautiously. Squall only looks away further, signifying a negative response. "Why not?" Still nothing. "Dammit Squall! Why won't you just fucking tell me! Why do you always keep everything inside, till you burst!" Seifer was angry now. He wanted answers, but the damned brunette just wouldn't talk. Squall didn't react to the yelling, he seemed used to it. Too used to it. Nobody should be used to the things Squall was used to.

"Hyne Squall! Just tell me already! What do you want from me!" The blonde ex knight says exasperatedly, moving closer to the stoic commander.

Silence.

Squall didn't know how to want anymore. And if he did, he'd already proved that all he wanted was to die. Sighing in aggravation, Seifer stalks to the edge of the room, running a hand through his gelled back hair.

"There must be something good I can do." Is all Seifer says for the time being. Squall just laughs a tiny, hollow laugh. In a voice all too bitter, Squall's soft voice is heartbreakingly pained and empty. "Give it up Almasy. Nobody can save me. I don't even want to be saved." Seifer twirls to face him at that, eyes flaring up with anger.

"Don't you dare say that. For one, you know that I never give up, for two, you don't want to die. You just need to find some sort of joy, some happiness. I WILL save you." He swears, hands clenched into fists. Squall shakes his head. "Joy? Happiness? Since when did they exist in hell?" Is Squall's retort, and this only rallies Seifer to higher levels of anger. "This isn't hell Squall. Not by far." "For you maybe. Hell followed me out." His voice is pained, flourishing with an agony he couldn't seem to hide anymore.

"...What do you mean...?" Seifer frowns in confusion, not liking what he was hearing. Not at all. "I was in time compression for a long time. A long long time." His pained voice betrays the suffering, the time he spent there. It made Seifer really wonder how long he was there. And being his usual outright self, he asks, but his tone is soft, gentle. "How long?"

Eyes cast down, body curling up slightly, Squall's voice is a bare whisper. "Years."

"...Years!...Hyne Squall..." He seems at a loss of words, as the realisation sinks in. "Years...of hell?"

Squall nods, his cold eyes watching the other intently. If one cared to look, they'd see the drip had been pulled from his hand again, so he hadn't had any fluid or food in his body for a long time now. Sitting himself up, with a few winces and struggles, Squall doesn't look Seifer in the eyes.

"What...did they do to you?" Seifer asks, but Squall only shakes his head. He wasn't ready to talk about it, to trust anyone enough to say any more. He didn't even know how he'd come to trust his old rival this much anyway. It was all too confusing to understand, and it was the sort of thing he never even tried to, because it was just a waste of time. However, he'd had a lot of time on his hands, but as usual, it ha all been used in vain. He didn't understand anything like that. He probably never would.

"What about earlier? You couldn't breath." Squall nods. "Just something they did. Something that happened." The ex commander just shrugs it off. Sighing tiredly, he rubs his temple harshly, ignoring the reprising look Seifer was giving him. "I will be leaving soon." He says softly. "Nobody can keep me here." Seifer nods.

"Why are you telling me this?"

The brunette only shrugs, glancing up at the blond male beside him.

"Where will you go?"

Another shrug, he had thought it through so much, but he really didn't care. "I don't know. See Shiva first."

"They took her away?" A nod. "She didn't want to. Infirmary is dampened though. She couldn't break through, not without going back inside me."

Too much. He was talking too much. Why couldn't he stop? Why did he feel so unthreatened and secure? Like there was a strange comfort or slow coaxing going on. It wasn't naturally, and so, of course, Squall was unwilling and unused to it.

"Back inside? Inside your body? Isn't that really dangerous?" Squall nods. "Where did she go?"

"Straight to my heart. Reaching up to my eyes." "To protect and freeze." Squall nods, slipping back down to lay on the bed.

"I will come after you." Seifer states suddenly.

"To take me back?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"I just will. I will follow you, make sure you don't get hurt."

"Hurt myself?"

A nod from Seifer this time.

"I can't be saved. It only gets worse. They keep me here...like it will make me all better. It won't."

Squall coughs hoarsely, making Seifer wince at the harsh sound. "Can't you do anything about that?"

"Probably."

They are interrupted by Doctor Kadowaki bustling in. "Seifer! I told you to wait until I called you before you came!" She says sternly, looking at Squall. "If you really are that persistent to stay here, I can have it arranged. But you know the danger you put yourself in, the trouble you may have caused if you were seen. Countless SeeD and cadets would not hesitate to fire a few Ultimas off in the halls, and that would be incredibly dangerous. To everyone in the complex. You should be more careful."

"Yeah, I know, I was careful though. No harm done." Seifer raises his hands up in defence.

The slightly wide woman sighs, but looks kindly on the two males. "Fine, I'll have it sorted out. For now, let Squall rest. He needs it."

The man in question says nothing, returning to the icy cold man, and ignoring the physician with unlimited practise. However, by now, the kindly doctor was used to it, and she leaves.

Squall had turned away from Seifer and closed his eyes, so the taller male gets the hint and drops the subject, allowing the weary saviour to rest.

"G'night Leonhart." He says.

He does not get any response.

What do you think? Any good. I'm unequivocally sorry for my exceedingly long delay, I have been a bit preoccupied. I'll try to update again ASAP! Keep the encouragement coming! Yay to my role-players on Neopets! Yay to my stories! I love you all!