Chapter 3 – When Aragorn Learned to Read…

Summary of Chapter 3: Ivy, Dolph and Electra try to teach the Fellowship about Xanth…. In the process Aragorn has an astounding number of flashbacks and Gandalf is barely prevented from discovering his inner…erm…um…just read it!

Dolph was in the form of a see-gull getting some practice in this form while spying when he saw a very weird sight at castle Roogna. Deciding to ask Ivy what was going on he swooped down and changed to boy form. There before him was Ivy and Electra standing in front of nine people sitting on the grass; three were tied up, a tall blond guy and two short curly haired ones, they also had gags. Ivy turned around to face Dolph and then said to the people on the grass in front of her. "Every one has a talent in Xanth, a magical ability only they can perform. Since Electra's talents and mine can't be easily demonstrated we'll have Dolph demonstrate." Dolph knew by her tone of voice if he didn't do it she would hurt him.

Electra shoved Dolph in front of the odd assortment of people. "Hello, I'm Dolph…" Dolph began but Pippin interrupted, (A/N: yes I know he's gagged…but Xanth is magic…) "we already know your Dolph, but why are you naked?" Dolph looked confused…"what's wrong with being naked? It's not like I'm attending a party or something." Aragorn answered him with giving a meaningful glare to Gandalf "Because it is NOT proper to be without clothes…Right Gandalf?" Gandalf muttered something inaudible. "Dolph was a tad confused here and continued, "it may not be proper not to wear clothes in your world but in Xanth-" Dolph had been stifled by a hand clamped firmly around his mouth that was owned by Aragorn who hissed in his ear "I need to speak with you NOW…" Not waiting for Dolph's consent Aragorn dragged Dolph over behind a clump of shoetrees before he released him. Aragorn looked around to make sure none followed him before facing Dolph, "under no circumstances are you to tell the others that it is ok to walk around naked in Xanth, do you understand?" Dolph was further confused (he confuses easily) "but it IS ok to walk around Xanth without any clothes…" Aragorn looked around quickly to make sure no one had heard what Dolph had said. Aragorn sat down ant put his head in his hands, "it all began in the year 2326 in the second age…flashback

A young Aragorn (A/N: or should we say Estel) is walking along a river…just a river, it didn't have a name, it was nothing special, just a river…Dolph clears his throat Erm, yeah…Aragorn was walking along a river when he came to a path, just a path, nothing special, it wasn't quite a road, if it was a road it didn't have a name, just a plain simple… Dolph clears his throat again Ok, Ok!…

Aragorn is walking along a river when he finds a path so he follows the path, cause he didn't recognize it. When he comes to a sign, now Aragorn couldn't read very well yet, he was still young.

(A/N: Keep in mind most people in middle earth are illiterate, for example Gimli, in RotK when they take the paths of the dead Legolas read the engraving on the paths of the dead out loud, and when they were at the walls of Moria in FotR Gandalf read the inscription not to mention… Dolph clears his throat glares at Dolph)

So the young Aragorn cannot read very well yet but attempts the read the sign nonetheless. He recognized the first word, "Rivindell" That's where he lived. He attempted the next word on the sign "for – for - est- Forest! Aragorn was proud and tackled the next word with confidence; Nu -nud…ist…nud-ist (A/N: he said it so the first syllable rhymes with mud) Aragorn didn't know this word so he racked his brain for what to do…

Flashback (A/N: I know I know…a flashback within a flashback, it's weird but just deal with it)

Even younger Aragorn is sitting at a desk in a classroom while the teacher is talking to the class. The teacher smiled at her students "now what do you do if you don't know a word?" cricket-cricket cricket-cricket the teacher just ignores the silence and continues, "Look at the picture, and see if you can figure out the word from what is in the picture!"

End of flashback #2

Young Aragorn looked at the sign, there wasn't any picture…

Flashback

The even younger Aragorn was in class with his hand up, "yes Estel what's your question?" the teacher asked in a sickly sweet voice. "Um, what if there aren't any pictures?" Then you skip the word and figure out what it is by reading the rest of the sentence…"

End flashback #3

The young Aragorn looked at the sign and saw there was another word…. Re - Re - Tre - at…re-tr-eat…Retreat! Aragorn had read the sign, but he couldn't figure out why anyone would want to go to a nud-ist retreat…Aragorn untroubled by the strange sign continued along the path till he heard voices. Aragon hid behind a tree; the voices came closer. One of the voices was familiar but he couldn't place it… the voices came closer. Aragorn suddenly realized to whom the voice belonged. It was Gandalf! He hadn't seen him for almost two years now. No longer frightened Aragon jumped out from behind the tree to greet the wizard. Aragorn took one look at Gandalf…gasped and fainted.

Aragon learned a new word that day…

End flashback #1

Aragon took a deep breath trying to remove the memory from his head "you see, a the slightest mention that it is ok to walk around Xanth without clothes, Gandalf might dis-cover his inner nudist again, Aragorn Shudders and the rest of the fellowship would be, for the lack of a better word, offended; or perhaps tremendously disgusted would be a better term. (A/N: Ha Ha! get it? Dis-cover…. Un-cover...cricket-cricket Oh forget it…)

Dolph considered it thoughtfully, would the wizard be happier if he could go around naked? But what about the others? Dolph looked at the warning look on Aragorn's face…that solved it. "Ok I won't tell them about Xanth being more laidback than your world when it comes to clothing…"Aragorn breathed a sigh of relief.

When Dolph and Aragorn rejoined the group Ivy was demonstrating her talent. "If I perceive Legolas, Merry and Pippin as being calm, I can make it come true…" With that Ivy and Electra removed the ropes and gags that bound the elf and two hobbits. Miraculously they remained still. Boromir, Gimli, Gandalf, Frodo, And Sam had their mouths hanging open…the elf and the hobbits, they were sitting still, and they weren't tied down…they weren't even ill. "Wow…that's some powerful magic there," Sam breathed in awe. Frodo had gone to investigate; Frodo poked Pippin …he didn't move he just looked at him. "Wanna go run around screaming like maniacs?" Frodo asked Pippin. Pippin just shrugged his shoulders then yawned. Frodo backed away "Whoa…scary…they are not going to stay like this, are they?" Ivy shrugged her shoulders; " I suppose if you really enjoy chaos I could put them back to normal"

Frodo considered, it was much more peaceful with them being all quiet but it was really really scary…Merry and Pippin might even stop stealing Boromir's socks if they stayed like this…that means there would be no more time spent laughing at Boromir searching for his socks constantly; that's no fun…and if Legolas stayed calm that means waffle night wouldn't be near as much fun as usual…"You better turn them back…" Frodo said reluctantly. Ivy nodded; it would be better this way in the long run, even if it were more chaotic. Ivy concentrated on how they were rambunctious at heart and soon Legolas and Merry were tickling a squealing Pippin with some cattails that were meowing in protest.

After Pippin had begged for mercy and they had all settled down Pippin became aware of the fact that Aragorn and Dolph were back, only Dolph was wearing his clothes now. Pippin insistent on his questions, perused his earlier inquiry (A/N: load of big words there)"So Dolph what was your excuse for being naked then?

Dolph took this opportunity to correct their view of Xanth, "Because I can't transform with clothes so I don't wear them when I transform." Legolas who was actually paying attention interrupted, "Yeah sure, and I'm prince of Mirkwood! Legolas began to laugh loudly. Boromir tapped the laughing Legolas on the shoulder "you ARE the price of Mirkwood, Legolas…." Legolas' head snapped up and he looked around at everyone staring at him. "Oh, yeah…" Legolas slunk off to some corner silently.

Dolph continued, "Really that's my talent; I can transform myself in to any living creature at will". The fellowship all went "Oooo!" as Dolph demonstrated by becoming a Centaur, then a naga, and then a Steamer dragon, which frightened Sam so much he screamed. The Fellowship, Ivy and Electra all laughed. Legolas breathless said, "the look on your face Sam it was priceless Snort" there was a moment of silence as everyone looked at Legolas…Elves didn't snort…then they all started laughing again.