IIII
The days that followed the victory were golden, and Spring and Summer joined and made revel together in the fields of Gondor. Tidings now came by swift riders from Cair Andros of all that was done, and the City made ready for the coming of the King.
I could not get it into my mind that Aragorn was going to be High King, as Éomer is going to be, too. These men, a Ranger and a Marshal, seemed to be suddenly catapulted into a position that required much discipline and responsibility.
Merry was summoned a while back. He rode away with the wains that took store of goods to Osgiliath and thence by ship to Cair Andros; but Faramir did not go, for now being healed he took upon him his authority and the Stewardship, although it was only for a little while, and his duty was to prepare for the one who should replace him. It mystified me why I felt so happy that Faramir was still within the City.
-
A messenger, a dusty young man with green eyes, came to me. When I saw him, I thought: Perhaps Aragorn is going to send word for me!
I thought I knew what the messenger was going to say, but I was mistaken. Instead, he said:
"Lady, your brother Éomer, Third Marshal of the Mark, begs you to come to the field of Cormallen. He wishes to rejoice with you in this joyous time."
I turned away from the messanger. My mind was tossing. This was no message from the Lord Aragorn. Yes, I missed Éomer, too. But somehow, I felt that I should stay in Minas Tirith. Oh sweet Eru, what should I do? I turned back to the messenger.
"Tell Éomer that I shall not come, though I greatly desire it," I said. "Say that I will meet him again, soon."
The messanger bowed low and turned and left without another word whatsoever.
-
As soon as the messenger left, I had an empty, aching feeling within me. I lay on my bed for the rest of the day. When the women came in to tend to me, they were frightened. And they called the Warden.
"My lady!" he exclaimed when he saw me. "What ails you?"
"Naught that you know of," I whispered. "Except that I do not know whom I love and what I should do."
He gave a distressed moan and ran off to find somebody.
-
"The Steward calls for you," the woman Ioreth said. "He waits for you upon the walls of the City."
I wanted to refuse, but I knew I could not. No, I could not. So I said: "Lady. Will you help me make ready to meet the Steward? I do not wish to meet him in this attire."
Ioreth picked a dress for me and combed my unruly curls. Then, I went to him. Faramir was standing there, the sunlight in his hair. I could help but think how wonderful his profile looked. And then, I called to him.
"Faramir," I said.
He turned and he said to me: "Éowyn, why do you tarry here, and do not go to the rejoicing in Cormallen beyond Cair Andros, where your brother awaits you?"
I bit my lip and said: "Do you not know?"
"Two reasons there may be, but which is true, I do not know." His lips had a hint of a smile but his eyes were sad.
My temper flared like a leaping candle-flame. I cried, "I do not wish to play at riddles. Speak plainer!"
Faramir folded his arms. "Then if you will have it so, Lady. You do not go, because only your brother called for you, and to look on the Lord Aragorn, Elendil's heir, in his triumph would now bring you no joy. Or because I do not go, and you desire still to be near me. And maybe for both these reasons, and you yourself cannot choose between them." I nearly cried at the truth of his words. Then, the most unexpected came out: "Éowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?"
I stared, dumbfounded at what the Steward had just said. Finally, I answered bitterly, "I wished to be loved by another. But I desire no man's pity."
The smile came through. "That I know," Faramir said. "You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was... he was high and puissant, and you wished to have renown and glory and to be lifted far above the mean things that crawl on the earth. And as a great captain may to a young soldier he seemed to you admirable. For so he is, a lord among men, the greatest that now is. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, then you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle"--I stared at the ground--"look at me Éowyn!"
And I looked at him, long and steady; and Faramir said: "Do not scorn pity that is a gift of a gentle heart, Éowyn! But I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and have yourself won renown that shall not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful, I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless without fear or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Éowyn, do you not love me?"
A breeze played with our hair. I saw him staring at me, waiting for him to laugh. But he was serious. He had meant every word of it. I looked into his eyes and suddenly, I understood it. The empty feeling subsided and I was all warm inside. The Sun peeked from behind a cloud.
"I stand in Minas Arnor, the Tower of the Sun!" I said; "and behold! the Shadow has departed! I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren." I looked at Faramir again. He was smiling. It was a beautiful smile and it was a smile, not a smile of pity. "No longer do I desire to be a queen," I whispered.
Faramir laughed and laughed. "That is well," he said; "for I am not a king. Yet I will wed with the White Lady of Rohan, if it be her will. And if she will, then let us cross the River and in happier days let us dwell in fair Ithilien and there make a garden. All things will grow with joy there, if the White Lady comes."
There was a sudden ache in me. "Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?" I asked. "And would you have your proud folk say of you: 'There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman in the race of Numenor to choose?'"
I watched his face.
"I would," Faramir cried.
He took me in his arms and kissed me under the sunlit sky. He did not seem to care that we stood high upon the walls in the sight of many. I knew many saw us and the light that shone about us as he released me. We went down from the walls, hand in hand, to the House of Healing.
The Warden was smiling when he saw me. Faramir said: "Here is the Lady Éowyn of Rohan, and now she is healed."
The Warden laughed merrily. "Then I release her from my charge and bid her farewell, and may she suffer never hurt nor sickness again. I commend her to the care of the Steward of the City, until her brother returns."
I hastily said: "Yet now that I have leave to depart, I would remain. For this House has become to me of all that dwellings the most blessed."
Once, Theodred said to me: "In our lifetime, each one must tread a difficult path. It is a slow and rocky road. No one knows where it leads to. But when we finish that path, we finish in triumph."
I have just finished that path. I have finished in triumph.
A/N: OH THANK GOODNESS THIS IS FINALLY UPDATED! I still have one more chapter to go: Aragorn's coronation. OMG how will Éowyn react when she sees her first love?