Disclaimer: Don't own Lost. I don't own Coldplay either, just so that's all clear…
A/N: Well, here it is- chapter four: Not Like This! There much to say, except that I made a PB one-shot (The Light of My Life). You should check it out. It's been in the making for a little over a week, and I am pretty happy about the way it came together! And now: without any further ado… Not Like This!
"I drew a line,
I drew a line for you.
Oh what a thing to do.
And it was all Yellow." Yellow by Coldplay
Not Like This
Charlie and Claire were lying on towels draped across the sand. It was dark now, the dazzling stars revealing themselves against the inky black sky. The once glassy blue ocean was now dark purple, only soft reflections of the moon separating one wave from the other. It was beautiful to sit here and listen to the waves and bright crackling fire.
"Fish 'N Fry. I know it's pathetic."
They had started playing Truth once Aaron fell asleep. Both of them had been a little nervous about asking something too personal. So instead, they were asking basic questions such as: "have any siblings?" or "what was your first job?" Although Charlie had a feeling he had to break the ice soon, seeing as they were running out of regular things to ask about.
Charlie shook his head, "It's not pathetic at all."
"Oh," Claire smiled, "so you're saying that being a famous rocker is more pathetic than working at a greasy seafood restaurant with less-than-decent pay?"
"Being a loser bassist in a too-big-ego band isn't exactly a box of chocolates. You see, I wasn't famous. At one point I wanted to be. At one point that was the most important thing. I got lost in the success, Claire. I was stupid."
"But you had talent." Claire said, slightly envying Charlie for his determination. "You knew what you wanted to do and you did it."
"I guess it was like that in the beginning. In the beginning, it was for the music. Everything was for the music. I wrote, slept, ate, played and sang. You know what was pathetic? It was pathetic that I believed I could be famous and keep music as a top priority. I believed that I could avoid all of the cracks that the famous fall into; keep myself from getting off balance. I actually believed my brother when he said we could stop if things got a little crazy. The sodding git! I can't believe I actually listened to him!
"Fame isn't what you might think. It's about money. It's about greed. It's about booze and girls… You see, fame isn't about being dedicated. Nope, it's all a bloody sham. And I believed it, too."
Claire was quiet, taking in every once of soul that Charlie was laying out for her to hear. Then, out of pure curiosity, Claire spoke, "So that's when you…"
"…Started using? Yeah. My brother wasn't the best example."
There was a pause as each of them thought about Charlie's words.
"You're turn." Claire whispered.
"But I asked you about where you worked…"
"And I asked you about DriveSHAFT."
Beyond the fire, Claire's eyes were full of understanding -not pity. Charlie was thankful for that.
"Okay…" Charlie racked his brain and said the first thing that came to him, "Have you ever been drunk?"
Claire was so thrown off guard by this question, she nearly fell over. Surely he hadn't had this question burning in him since they met? At this moment, they were free to ask each other anything and get a truthful answer back… and Charlie asked if she had ever been drunk!
Smiling amusedly at her embarrassment, Charlie teased her. "It's just a yes or no question."
After a few moments of fiery debate with herself, Claire answered somewhat reluctantly. "Yes."
Charlie raised his eyebrows, "Really?"
She nodded half-heartedly, remembering the hangover the next day. "It was terrible…"
Her hair was glowing golden in the firelight and it took all the restraint Charlie could summon to keep himself from touching it. "You just seem so… pure."
Claire laughed, loosing all unease she had previously, "You mean, other than the fact that I am un-married with a child?"
Trying to keep all of the hope out of his voice, Charlie asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to. "Did you love him?"
----------------------
/Flashback On/
Claire's legs were crossed beneath her on the edge of the window sill. It was raining outside and the gentle pitter-patter of water droplets outside was joined by her sobs. Claire plastered her forehead against the cool window pane, reliving the horrors of the morning and weeping harder, her cries were wet and thick with mucus.
Her entire body was shaking with fear. Fear for the baby. Fear of going through with the pregnancy alone. Fear of taxes and money and support. She had never felt more alone in her life.
Her stomach growled but she didn't move to get some food. Instead she sat there, watching the white fog from her sobs grow across the glass. Taking her finger, she traced a heart into it, only to cause more cries.
By the next morning, the rain had stopped and Sasha had come to pick Claire up for her usual morning car-pools to work. When Sasha knocked twelve times and there was no answer, she grew worried. Frantically, Sasha reached for the doorknob, alarmed to find it unlocked. Entering the front of the apartment, Sasha saw Claire in a sea of tissues by the window, still in yesterday's clothes and shaking hysterically.
"Oh, God. Claire, what happened?"
"He's… he's gone! Sasha, he's gone!"
/End Flashback/
------------------------
Claire shook her head and blinked, as though this would rid herself of the memory. Neither of them was even aware that Charlie had broken the rules by asking two questions at once. Instead, they were too busy looking at each other and thinking about the deep wound the question was reopening.
"Did you love him?"
"I used to think so."
Sitting up straighter to compose herself, Claire gazed at Charlie. He was so wonderful, so different from Thomas. She smiled at the thought of Charlie wobbling in the water earlier that day. Had they really only known each other for 6 weeks? Gathering her strength back, she asked, "What about you, Charlie Pace? Have you ever been in love?"
It took a few minutes for him to answer because he was too busy staring mystified at Claire.
"Not like this."
-----------------------
"Isn't it amazing?"
Kate took a break from collecting more firewood and stared between the trees. "What?" Jack asked, turning his attention to where Kate was looking.
"That, even now… they can find love?" Her voice was soft and dreamy. Longing? Jack wondered to himself.
"…Yeah…" Jack gathered another piece of wood and forced himself to head back, leaving Charlie and Claire kissing by the fire behind him.
-----------------------
A particularly loud wave crashed somewhere beyond them, followed by the scream of a baby. Claire backed off from Charlie and ran her hands nervously through her hair before picking Aaron up. Despite the twos efforts, Aaron continued to wail, a blood vessel in his head pounding and his face grew red.
"It is late." Claire reasoned, looking up shore. "Maybe we should get going."
"Right…"
They gathered their belongings and collected a torch from the fire to lead them back to the caves. Aaron cried the entire way.
Claire rocked him, attempting to sooth him so the other survivors wouldn't get upset. "Here," Charlie said, placing the towels down on the ground outside the caves. "I'll be right back."
Claire sat down and watched Charlie jolt out of the caves to God-knows-where, Aaron continuing his loud declaration against quietness. Moments later, Charlie returned with his guitar. "I thought it might help with Turniphead."
Claire was so tired all she could do was smile.
Charlie positioned himself so he could play, and then began the first song that popped into his head. Within the first cord, Aaron had stopped at the calming sound of the guitar.
"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do.
Yeah, they were all Yellow.
"I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."
"So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done.
And it was all Yellow.
"Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful.
And you know,
You know I love you so.
You know I love you so.
"I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cause you were all Yellow.
"I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
And it was all Yellow.
"Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful.
And you know,
For you I'd bleed myself dry.
For you I'd bleed myself dry.
"It's true,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.
"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things you do."
Once Charlie had looked up, both Aaron and Claire were sound asleep. He smiled gently, lifting up the blanket to keep them warm. Charlie couldn't imagine anyone looking so beautiful while they slept. Claire's hair gracefully placed beside her, her lidded eyes, peaceful… And her soft sunburned cheeks… She was so stunning, in fact, that Charlie had to kiss her one last time. "Goodnight, love."
"I haven't seen you play your guitar in a while."
Back at his camp, Jack was still awake and had heard Charlie come in.
"Just singing A-a-a-ron to sleep," Charlie yawned, thinking sleep sounded like an excellent idea. "You know, I was thinking… I should've thrown the statue away by now."
Jack was obviously impressed. "You're going to throw it away tonight?"
"I will in the morning. Hey, Jack?"
"…Hm?"
"I can't very well play Dad when I'm stoned can I?"
"No. You should get rid of them soon, Charlie. Aaron needs his Dad."
Charlie grinned. "Goodnight Jack."
"Goodnight Charlie."
And then Charlie rolled over into sleep, waking the next morning to the greeting face of Mary. Only this time, he didn't feel tempted in the least. This would be the day, he knew it. This would be the day that Charlie would finally give up drugs.
And with that happy thought, Charlie grabbed the statue and headed off to drop the drugs in the nearest fire, where they belonged.
--------------------------
A/N: Yay for Charlie:-D I'm sorry about the whole song lyrics thingy. I don't usually like lyrics in a story but I LOVE this song and I thought it fit in pretty well. Sorry if I bored you to death. :-P
Thanks for reviewing:
-Jaye Black- I love your story (s) too! Thank you for reviewing!
-Charlie and his Claire- Lol. Cutting the grass isn't fun, and I agree, I would much rather be online reading, writing or reviewing! ;-) I hope this chapter wasn't too corny in general. Personally, I didn't like it very much. Sigh But once again, thank you for reviewing!
-Jou65- I'm glad you're enjoying everything so far! Here's your update!
-Artistgirl727- Oh, wow. Herron! You're near me then, I live in Kentucky. I used to live in Evanston, Illinois (north of Chicago). I have been to the Chicago Art Museum, but the last time I went, I was eight and didn't appreciate it very much. I would love to go again sometime soon, though! I don't have a favorite art period or anything. I guess being a rising ninth grader; I don't like studying art history very much. I know it's important and all, I just can't get myself into it. Hopefully, going to this magnet school will inspire me and I will find my love for history. Lol. I really like O'Keeffe's flowers! Mainly, I just go to art fairs around town and stuff. It's actually a lot of fun, you know, modern stuff. The other day I drew a picture of Dominic Monaghan. Once I got his eyes/eyebrows down pat, it was beautiful. Lol. He has so much expression, I really enjoyed drawing him. Thanks for reviewing again!
A/N: Well… review. I know I have people at least making it to the third chapter because I have quite a few hits.
Hope you enjoyed! Keep a look out for another update, because I'm trying to finish this before August 3rd (so NOT going to happen, but hey, I can try!). August 3rd I am leaving for Colorado and I won't be back until late the 13th (day before my birthday!). I would rather finish this before I leave, but it might just be wishful thinking on my part. :-P
Review!