Disclaimer: Nope. Nada. If I owned LOST I would be way more involved in the plot of Season Two than a silly romance/drama fic.

A/N: Everything is going really well. As of now, I really like this chapter and hope you all enjoy it. Here is the drama I promised. . . J

WARNING- This chapter is rated T for drug references.

"I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you."----Numb, Linkin Park

Numb and Helpless

The moment Claire woke up to Aaron's hungry cries, visions of the previous night flooded through her brain. Could it have really happened? Had Charlie just proclaimed his love to her?

When Claire was an adolescent, she had secret dreams of being whisked off to Happily Ever After. She would watch romantic movies, read romantic novels, dream of anonymous love letters arriving in her mailbox. Although the faze didn't last long -her dreams crushed by sleepless nights and tax papers without the slightest hint of romance- there was always some child in the back of her mind hoping. Claire supposed she was being naïve, believing in things that didn't exist. There was no such thing as a knight in shining armor. There was no such thing as Prince Charming. There was no such thing as fairy tales.

By the time Claire had met Thomas, she had long forgotten her teenage wishes of love and peaceful lives. Instead, Claire was in the real world, struggling to find a job and find the money to rent out a decent apartment. In the real world, there was no such thing as horse drawn carriages or magical glass slippers. No, the real world, romance was dating, fighting, breaking up, cheating and lying. And when she met Thomas, she didn't think she would have time for that. Too much drama, she assured herself.

But Thomas had taken her by surprise, causing her fairy tale dreams to re-kindle, resurfacing without a trace of regret. He was artistic, loving and believed Claire was more than a woman under various levels of un-employment. So she took a chance.

After a while, Claire noticed that a relationship wasn't all about love. There were other factors too: communication, patience, and understanding. Finance played a role too. In fact, Thomas and Claire were seriously considering moving in together, once both had a steady job.

And then there was the utter, undeniable truth that Claire was pregnant. Being unstable and worried, Claire believed all of Thomas' efforts to sooth her when he said they could make it with a baby. But soon, she would realize that Thomas was creating a grand entrée of false statements, and Claire was eating up every crumb.

When Thomas left, Claire was positive that her dreams as a child were permanently shattered. That all hope had vanished. That there was not a single man in the world that cared about anyone other than himself. Every time Claire saw a man she liked, she would tell herself that; best to avoid future pains, anyway.

It was now Claire's turn to build up a false sense of security, a wall that would keep her from falling. A wall to protect herself from what she feared most: abandonment.

And then there was Charlie.

Charlie had bravely broken down every wall she had built up -in a good way. He taught her to trust again. To believe. To dream and to hope. To…love?

Charlie was everything she had wanted Thomas to be: supporting, caring and a good father for Aaron. Claire hadn't asked for much out of life, and she didn't expect to live like a diva, but this feeling that she had right now… it was more than she could have felt for Thomas in a year.

Claire pulled her shirt back down, as Aaron had finished feeding. Looking at Aaron, she remembered how Charlie sang them to sleep last night, which caused a chain-reaction of yesterday's events to play like a video throughout her head. Claire imagined his kind, puppy-like eyes… his messy hair… his beard that tickled her when they kissed…

She longed to see him. They had only been apart for a night, and yet she longed to see him? In fact, she didn't want to just see him. She wanted to sit next to him, to talk to him, to just be with him.

This must be what love feels like, Claire thought to herself, stroking Aaron's head.

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"Sawyer, I think you should get Claire."

"What?"

"I said get Claire."

"What am I, Doc? Your messenger boy?"

"Look… everyone knows you're a jackass, and now isn't the time to prove it. Claire would want to know what's going on, so get her."

Sawyer put his hands up defensively, "Down boy. I was just sayin'…"

"Go!"

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Claire hummed as she changed Aaron's nappies. She hummed! God knew the last time she hummed…

She was actually so involved in humming "You Are My Sunshine" to notice Sawyer casually walk into the caves.

"So, how's The Midget this morning?"

"Aaron is doing very well, thank you." Somewhat startled, Claire put emphasis on the word "Aaron."

So this is what I get for making conversation? Sawyer thought hollowly to himself. "So… Jack's up at his cave." Jeez, this was going to be harder than he thought.

"And…?" Claire was in a very happy mind right now, and Sawyer popping in to just randomly converse about Jack wasn't exactly what she wanted to be doing.

"Well… VH1 don't look too pretty when he's fixed."

Momentarily confused, Claire had to ask Sawyer to repeat what he said.

"Look. Jack told me to come find you. Your hubby . . . he's not doing so well…"

Panicked, Claire shoved Aaron into Sawyer's arms and took off at a full sprint to Jack's caves, taking no time to realize the odd stares of people around her. Her pulse hammered throughout her body, pounding loudly in her ears as she tried to calm herself. Outside the cave, Claire tried her best to set up herself for whatever lay beyond.

However, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw crumpled on the floor of the caves. The skeleton of a person bore little resemblance to Charlie at all. Charlie's once adorable untidy hair was now plastered to his head with sweat, his brilliant eyes covered by the unhealthy lull of his eyelids. His face was gaunt and thin, his lips trembling slightly as he struggled for air. The stench of ripe vomit trailed around him, parts of his jeans and hoodie were splattered with the fluids. Claire felt her throat tighten and tears falling along her cheeks as she watched the man she loved twitch in pain.

"He's had a few hallucinations." For the first time, Claire noticed Jack sitting next to Charlie, holding a bucket under Charlie's chin and placing a wet rag on Charlie's head. "I can't give him anything, because he's been throwing up so frequently. Sawyer found him like this earlier this morning."

Claire couldn't bear to watch what was happening. She had already guessed what he had done, but she was still bewildered at the cause of his actions. What could possibly have made him want to be in this much pain? She shuddered at the thought of Charlie harming himself, wondering how someone could be alive but look so dead…

"Will he… will he be alright?" Claire could only manage to choke the words, afraid of the answer.

"I think so. He overdosed," And even though Claire had guessed right, it didn't stop her eyes from widening in the horror of it all. Seeing Claire's expression, Jack added, "not enough to kill him, just enough to give us a good scare."

Claire couldn't believe what was happening. It was all so real, so awfully real. Just yesterday Charlie had been so happy, and now he was… he was…

Claire bent down to touch Charlie's shoulder in almost a dreamlike manner. She carefully traced her hands along his tattoo, crying even harder now. Living is easy with eyes closed. Why? Why now, Charlie?

"Claire… I thought you'd want to know. You don't have to be here if it's too hard for you. I've got things under control."

But she shook her head. She had promised. She had promised that she wouldn't judge him, that she would help him when he needed her. "No. I should stay."

Jack nodded, relaxing a little knowing that Charlie's state hadn't jeopardized their relationship too much. He stood up, rinsing off the wash cloth again, and allowed Claire to take his seat next to Charlie.

So Claire sat there, holding a bucket under Charlie's chin waiting for something to happen. Waiting for him to wake and explain that he loved her, that it was all some misunderstanding. And Claire cried. She cried for Charlie, feeling positively helpless. She cried for the pain he was in, for the hope that fairy tales could come true. And then she cried for herself, too.

Every once in a while Charlie would have a frightening episode during which he would have trouble breathing or see something that wasn't really there. During these times Claire would just cry harder, wanting to help him, to save him from whatever was going on. The first time Charlie had a hallucination Claire was shaking so hard she forced herself to leave the caves, Jack kindly taking over. She was afraid, imagining the scary world where he was full of spinning lights and monsters. Imagining such awful places made Claire feel even more helpless, unable to reach him, unable to wake Charlie from the nightmares taking place in his head.

When Claire stepped outside during the first hallucination, most everyone had left to complete their usual tasks: hunting, fishing or whatever. The light was bright and made her squint to see, trying her best to brush away the tears still occupying her face. Seeing a person in the near distance, she felt guilt weigh down in her stomach. There was Sawyer, standing patiently with Aaron in his arms, looking as though he had no idea what he was supposed to do with the child.

Claire felt hot with embarrassment as she walked over to him to retrieve her baby. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to, you know, run off like that… It's just…" Claire had no idea how she was supposed to describe her feeling of utter terror and fright to Sawyer.

There was an awkward silence as they both sat there, taking in the situation. "Have you… told anyone?" Claire was nervous for Charlie, what it might be like for him when he woke up.

"Nope. Doc says we don't need more drama on this damn island."

Claire was grateful, for once, of Sawyer. He had watched her baby for her while she ran off, frantically leaving him behind. And he had kept the secret. . .

Seeing Claire's face, Sawyer spoke again. "It hurts to see someone you love broke up like that, don't it?"

But Sawyer didn't need an answer to know how she was feeling. No, he knew that feeling all too well.

"Thank you, Sawyer." Claire said quietly, indicating Aaron. "I should . . . go back now."

And Sawyer watched her walk back into the caves, where she would wait for a sign of recognition from Charlie. Where she would wait to make sure he was okay.

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The scene continued on late into the night. Although Claire was slowly getting used to the odd behaviors from Charlie, it didn't make the reality any easier for Claire to digest. She found herself foolishly hanging on to every movement he made, hoping he was coming back to consciousness -which only made the hallucinations worse for her to handle. Throughout the sobbing and the crying, Claire still hung onto Charlie's arm, wanting him to know, now more than ever, that she still loved him.

Sometime way after dark Charlie had a horrendous coughing attack, where he was gasping for breath and tearing up violently. Claire was so frightened by his inability to breathe and so overwhelmed with her powerless that she had to back away, watching the hideous scene unfold from afar. She was crying hard, lost in the darkness and the sounds of Charlie wheezing. She knew Jack was somewhere near him, repeating instructions for Charlie to calm down, but she couldn't understand his words. She was too busy crying and fearing for her Charlie to hear.

After what seemed like hours of fits, Charlie had finally found oxygen and leaned back against the cave wall, breathing heavily. Claire crawled back over to him and lay down next to him, placing her ear on his chest so she could hear the beating of his heart. Jack was forcing water into Charlie's mouth, placing a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

Claire looked up at Aaron's crib (which Sawyer had politely fetched for her) thankful that he was still sound asleep. She felt the dampness of her tears on Charlie's shirt against her cheek, and she softly held his hand in hers. Jack knew better than to tell her to give him some space, for it would be a waste of breath.

Charlie gave a small choke as he forced out breath, trying to speak. Charlie grabbed Jack's arm, trying to get his attention. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and feeble, but Claire heard his words clearly. "Don't-let… Don't let her see me like-this, Jack."

Claire was crying so hard that she knew she wouldn't be able to speak. Instead, she curled into a ball, her face pressed against Charlie's arm. Then she whispered inaudibly "I love you, Charlie," into his skin.

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A/N: So. . . what'd you think? I really liked it, actually. Maybe the whole "don't let her see me like this, Jack" thing was a little overly-dramatic, but I still liked it a lot. I am leaving for another vacation really soon, so don't expect the update for two weeks. I'm sorry about the inconsistent chapters, but I didn't realize how busy my summer was until recently. . .

I really, really hope you all enjoyed! I also apologize if any of the overdosing symptoms were incorrect. I've never been high and don't plan to be, so hopefully this was all believable enough.

Wow! For chapter four I got a whopping. . . Drum roll please . . . 3 reviews! Lol. I don't mind the lack of reviews too much, I mean, it's not going to keep me from writing. But I really, really appreciate those who take the time to review so here are my thanks to those who did:

-Laura ():Thank you sooo much! I hope you still think it's sweet. ;-)

-jou65 (): Do you live in France? That would bereally cool! I went to France once... and visited the Louvre! It was gorgeous! I hope I can go again someday! Thank you for the reviews!

-artistgirl727:Hey! Thank you once again for the review! As far as Art History goes, it really depends on your teacher. For about 3/4 of the past year, my class had this great energetic teacher and we learned a lot from him. Then, at the very end of the year, his "apprentice" took over. You could tell that he hadn't had very much experience with middle school kids because he voice was monotone and he just mumbled a lot, which didn't draw any of the kids in at all. We covered cave drawings to Impressionism. I really liked impressionism because they finally started using brushstrokes:-P I love all sorts of drawings, really. I enjoy abstracted ones and ones with lots of meaning or expression. Contrast is also a principle I love, such as shaded verse light areas. I wish I could draw landscapes! I think Goldsworthy's work is SO cool because I love nature so much. As of now, I'm best at still life drawings, portraits, and drawing animals (mainly horses heads...:-D). Thank you lots, and hope you enjoyed the update (even if it's depressing)!

Well, you know what to do... review ;-) I hope nobody saw this twist coming:-P