Disclaimer: Don't own it. Sorry to burst your bubble. The plot: mine. Everything else: ABC's.

A/N: OMG! I haven't updated in nearly three weeks, and for that I am truly sorry. Once I got back from vacation (and I mean literally two days after) I started high school. The pressure of being a freshman and the mounting pile of homework is enough to keep me from updating for a while.

I'm really excited about this chapter. Hope you all enjoy.

"If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite." Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down

Old Habits Die Hard

The hard look in Charlie's eyes reminded Jack all too well of the night Charlie was rescued without Claire. His jaw firm, the intensity knitted in his brow. Jack hesitated only briefly before approaching him with a fresh cup of water.

"Here. Sorry it took so long; Hurley's seemed to have—"

"She came, didn't she?"

The voice wasn't cruel or harsh, simply asking the answer to a question he knew to be true. Jack paused, figuring that there was no point in lying, Claire had been here. She wouldn't have left if it weren't for Jack's orders. In fact, if he had kept his mouth shut, Claire might be here, reassuring Charlie of everything that Jack couldn't say. "Yes."

There was a sharp intake of breath, barely noticeable. So she had come. She had seen Charlie all sick and screwed up. And she had left. He hadn't meant for this to happen, any of it. Not the plane, not the drugs, not Claire. Maybe he would've been better off dead like that Scott guy, six feet under certainly seemed to be better than this…

"She was here yesterday," all day, all night. "She didn't want to leave." What the hell was Jack supposed to say? That expression, that look on Charlie's face. It only proved that Charlie wasn't paying the slightest attention to Jack. He had to except this was beyond his repair. Period.

"Listen, Charlie… she cares about you, okay? Claire was worried. I couldn't tell her to leave."

"I'm gonna head out, alright? Hey, mate. Thanks for everything." And Charlie stood up, not listening or caring about the words spilling from his tongue. He had to leave, couldn't bear to stay in this dump any longer. His mind was set, and there was no changing it.

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Claire rolled herself up in a blanket, staring hard at the wall next to her. Her face was tear-stained, as it seemed it would be permanently from now on. She couldn't stop thinking about Charlie and the horrible guilt dripping in her veins could certainly not be considered "rest". Against her own will, Jack had forced Claire into the caves to relax, to sleep and what not. How was she supposed to sleep? How could he possibly expect her to calm down after this? After worrying? After living? After dying?

She just wanted to see Charlie. She wanted to tell him it was okay.

The image of Charlie mangled against the floor crept into her mind, as it had countless times merely minutes before. No matter what she tried to tell herself, there was no denying it. It had happened. It wasn't a dream or a nightmare. You weren't supposed to feel in your dreams, yet she was in pain. And she wanted to feel. She wanted to feel for Charlie, to share his hurt and his misery.

Claire couldn't escape the thoughts now buzzing within her; awful ideas that this was all somehow her fault. The trace of everything, no matter what Jack said, lead back to her in one way or another. She hadn't been helpful. In some way she hadn't been enough.

In a faraway land, Claire heard small baby whimpers and the soft hush of Kate. Rolling onto her side, Claire focused on a new part of the wall, counting the cracks and bumps along the cool stone. She didn't think she could cry anymore. Her body heaved with exhaustion, but she strained herself to stay awake. She would see him when he came.

And as she promised herself this, Claire yawned and sank into her pillow, captured by sleep.

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Charlie was newly bathed and scrubbed clean, although this had no cleansing effect on his conscious. Instead of returning to camp after washing, he headed off into the forest, ignoring the pains of hunger rumbling in his stomach. He didn't pay attention to where he was headed; rather he let his feet lead him. Whether or not his feet knew the way --he didn't know-- he trusted them all the same.

Charlie was so preoccupied in his mind that he didn't realize the heel of his left shoe was caked in boar droppings- an event at which he would have cussed fluently at just days before. He didn't notice the way the sunlight traced the chosen leaves above him so beautifully- which used to remind him of a song. And he didn't notice that hundreds of feet away, Jack was beginning to worry about his whereabouts. But currently, none of this mattered to Charlie. He just wanted to leave.

After minutes of stammering, his feet finally found a pace, directing him to an unknown destination like a compass. The entire forest was still, listening to the quiet brushing of leaves in his path, or the soul of his shoe thudding against the earth.

The more Charlie tried to disregard his thoughts, the more they pursued at filling his brain. The memory of their last day together caused his heart to ache, the fire, the beach, her hair… But the brief happiness at the memory was shattered by pounding of his pulse. By the pounding in his wrist, his rib cage, his brain. Sudden guilt over took him, making him weaker and more fearful.

He had to sit down. He couldn't keep going. Charlie stopped in his tracks and buried his head in his hands as he fell to the forest floor. What had he done? How could he hurt Claire, the one and only precious thing left in his life, for something as stupid as temptation? He was supposed to be strong. He was supposed to be the leader for Claire, the person who defied his past and proved himself. Claire was supposed to be his savior. If she couldn't save him, he didn't know what he could do. He couldn't stop on his own. He had been happy. Happy. In fact, he had been one of the only happy people on this bloody island! God, he was a mess… a scum… a filthy junkie… a who couldn't keep a promise…

Out of nowhere, Charlie felt himself lifting from the ground. He was suddenly standing on his feet, staring at the stupid taped letters written across his fingers. LATE.

And for some sick reason, he knew all of this had a purpose. The drugs, the overdosing, the whole damn island… he sure as hell didn't know The Reason, but it was there alright. Just the thought brought a sickening taste to his mouth.

And then he steadied himself against a tree and vomited.

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Claire woke feeling absolutely terrible. She had only slept for a mere thirty minutes, but she hated herself for doing so. She knew he was awake, she just knew it. How could she have let him down? Furious at herself, she managed to get up and stumble across to find Charlie.

But he wasn't in the caves. Neither was Jack. All that she found was Charlie's hoodie and a pair of wet socks up to dry.

"Char-lie?" It was more of a cry than a question. She didn't think she had any water left inside her, but she had begun to collect tears again. The pit of her stomach hollowed in an ugly way and she whispered softly again, "Charlie?"

Nervously fiddling with the zipper of her jacket, Claire used the little energy she could muster to walk out of the cave, to find someone -anyone – who knew where Charlie had gone.

Shannon was sitting on a towel, looking pale faced and holding Boone's ID picture in her hand. She had taken to carrying it around with her, and before Claire had felt sorry for her, but now she had no time, or thought, to sympathize.

"Are… you okay?" Shannon asked, sounding generally sincere.

Claire took a deep breath, steadying herself enough to speak. "Have you seen Ch-Charlie?"

Shannon looked concerned but admitted she hadn't seen him. "Jack was looking for him, though. Hey. Do you need to sit down or something…? You look exhausted."

But Claire didn't have the energy to say much more. She just looked away, turning to find Jack. Why did Jack tell her to sleep? She didn't need it! She was perfectly fine without it! All she needed now was Charlie…

She started moving in her gut-sense direction, barely noticing that she was barefoot and not particularly caring. After searching the basic premise of camp without finding a hint of Jack or Charlie, Claire began to worry. What if Jack had taken off without telling anyone? Without telling her? The forest was dangerous! She couldn't let them be on their own!

And without thinking, Claire burst into a fit of hysterical tears. Melting into a puddle on the ground, she began sobbing and openly wailing. She didn't even stop when she felt strong arms around her, she didn't have the control. She didn't care anymore! Nothing else mattered but finding him.

"Shh. Calm down."

It was a thick Iraqi accent and Claire noticed the dark tan skin on the arms around her. She didn't calm down, though. How could she?

"Claire. I need you to calm down. What's wrong?"

The world was in a blur of tears and the ground was swirling to dark mud, blending with the green watercolor of trees behind it. "Where's Charlie?"

Sayid seemed to let up on his grasp a little. Her own sobs thinning, she thought she heard him sigh.

"Charlie was sick in the caves and Jack was there helping him."

For a moment, Claire felt the shock of the simplicity of it. To everyone else, Charlie was just sick with a bug and Jack was playing doctor. They didn't understand. A part of her wanted to laugh at the irony of it all.

And then everything was serious. Charlie was gone. He was somewhere out in the forest alone. Who knew what he could do to himself after overdosing?

Claire tried her best to wriggle out of Sayid's hold, but he was strong. A sudden fierce monster within her wanted to hit him for delaying everything. "Let. Me. Go."

"Claire," Sayid said in what he thought was a reassuring voice, "you sound wrong in the head. You must be feverish--"

But she wouldn't sit around and listen to this nonsense when she should be out there. With all of the force she had, Claire stomped down on Sayid's foot, the one previously injured. Sayid gasped in pain, letting go of her and reaching to nurse his foot. Meanwhile, Claire had already taken off to nowhere.

"You can't go out there alone!" Sayid shouted after her.

Just watch me.

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Charlie was walking again, following an invisible path to an invisible collective place. With every step he got further away from the camp, the deeper he wished it hadn't happened. That he hadn't let the habit re-kindle.

Hatred was filling inside him, but the hate was for his own actions. He was ashamed, guilty. He now understood the saying "wanting to crawl under a rock and die" although he had never felt that way so strongly before.

He was weak. He was sick. He was tired.

He couldn't handle the pain, oh the ever-mounting pain. He couldn't handle living with what he did. He couldn't handle the fact that it would never be the same.

And he couldn't handle the fact that he did it for a reason.

He knew the drugs had a meaning, but he wouldn't admit it to himself. He would be shallow to do so. As if he hadn't stooped low enough already…

Left. Right. Left. Right.

It had never taken this much effort to walk before. But now he didn't know what to look forward to in walking. He didn't know where he was going, and the only comfort in that was being away from camp.

What's the point of walking backwards? Sliding down a hill you've climbed before?

Left. Right. Left. Right.

His breathing was heavy. He could feel the hatred condensate on his breath.

It was so much effort to breathe.

Left. Right. Left. Right.

And then he stopped. He was there. He felt it in his bones, in his feet, in his head. Regaining his senses, he saw something between the trees, heard the sound of rushing water up ahead.

He was at the waterfall.

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Claire had been walking for what seemed like hours. Her eyes had dried, her breathing returning to normal, her feet walking at a steady pace. Not once had she stopped to consider re-tracing her steps back to camp. It was the farthest thing from her mind.

She had become thirsty, wondering where she could find water when she had no idea where she was going. Yet, something kept her moving. Maybe it was the belief that Charlie was her metaphoric water. Or maybe basic needs weren't important anymore.

Like a gift from heaven, Claire perked up at the sound of water ahead. For a moment, she thought she should keep going. But something inside her told her this was right. There was something here she needed to see.

If Claire had the strength, she would've run. But, she was so tired and dehydrated she took her time walking between the trees, best not to get her hopes up.

Her throat practically sang at the sight of water. Never mind it was from a waterfall, it was somewhat clear and liquid. Immediately, she bent down to take a drink. She was quiet, enjoying the water peacefully, loving the soothing drip down her throat. But then something hit her, something that made her stomach fall from her abdomen. It was the waterfall. Their waterfall.

She took a step back. She couldn't look at it. It was silly to sit and remember. She needed to get going. She started to back out of the trees when she heard a rustling nearby.

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Charlie appeared from across the way, he was looking intently at the water. A part of Claire wanted to scream, run over and kiss him, but she stood silently where she was. She watched, as if watching a movie role right before her eyes. He was completely unaware of her presence.

Charlie walked to the rocks and sat down. He was silent. Eyes so full of emotion, she couldn't take her own from his. She watched as after minutes, he curled up his legs, his arms locking his legs, his chin balanced on his knees. He didn't cry. He didn't speak. He didn't make any noise at all. He just sat there, his expression stony at the water.

His eyes were so intense; she could feel his emotion by looking into them. Anger. Embarrassment. Everything was shown without words.

Charlie gazed deeply into the depths of the water. It was hard to believe that just two days ago they had frolicked and flirted here. Charlie wondered for a minute if Claire had since thought about that day, and figured she'd be too mad to remember it. It made him feel downright ashamed. He couldn't please her. He couldn't protect her. He couldn't even keep his damn promise.

How the was he supposed to face her? Maybe he shouldn't. You know, make a living right here by the waterfall. He had been working for over a month on this kind of thing. He guessed he'd be able to survive out here… except he would need supplies, which were back at camp. Well, he couldn't avoid it forever.

But, he could for now. Wallowing alone in his sorrow seemed to suit him. It worked well, made him think and determine feelings. Being alone helped with a lot of things. Except Charlie didn't see how this situation could ever get better.

Claire moved around the trees a little, seeing Charlie from different angles. It was amazing just how much she could learn by sitting there and observing him. The way he was curled up was an unconscious defensive choice. She watched him breathe deeply, his mannerisms reflecting how awful he felt. It seemed like this was some self-punishment thing, ostracizing him from the group because he felt unworthy. She hoped whatever he was doing would make him feel better. She couldn't stand to see him like that.

So, then, why didn't she just run in there and tell him everything was okay? She couldn't bring herself to do it. Maybe it was coward ness. Maybe she felt like the time wasn't right.

Charlie felt a prickling sensation on the back of his neck, although something told him he shouldn't be alarmed. He remained calm, focusing on his thoughts and not whatever was watching him. Yet he had a hunch, but he almost wanted to be wrong. He couldn't face her. Not yet.

After long minutes of silence, Claire had noticed a small change in Charlie. She noticed the way his eyes shot towards the woods every once in a while, and the way he became slightly stiffer. He must know that she was there. She wondered if he was glad that she had come. She would know.

More silence. Then, there was a low grumbling sound of Charlie clearing his throat. Claire paused a minute. It was okay. He was telling her that he knew she was there.

Quietly, Claire stepped out from behind the trees. She felt embarrassed, like a child caught spying on her parents while they were talking about her. When he didn't look up at her, she knew she had been correct. He had known she was there after all.

Claire was still incredibly anxious, even though she had finally found him. But, being here and standing in front of him, it was all so surreal, so much more difficult than she had imagined. She was afraid that he wouldn't talk to her. She was ashamed of watching him. And she didn't know what to say, so she stood there, continuing to watch him expectedly.

"You shouldn't be here."

It wasn't an invitation to sit down, so Claire remained standing. She had a terrible feeling within the pit of her stomach like she had intruded on something very, very private. She didn't know how to respond, so she stood there, silent like a student reprimanded in class. It was so miserable, standing there. She was so uncomfortable knowing that he was upset. Uncomfortable knowing that the one who calmed her was now the one needing to be calmed. She didn't think she could help him.

Charlie continued starring at the water. The silence was so eerie; Claire imagined what Charlie could possibly be thinking that would make him so quiet. Had he blamed her? It had been her fault, right?

Then there was a quiet, feeble and unexpected response that tripped from Claire's mouth, "I'm … I'm sorry…"

For the first time, Claire saw Charlie take his eyes off the water and moved his gaze to the ground next to him, where he looked deep in thought. "I don't deserve this, Claire."

Claire felt her own throat tighten –and it had nothing to do with being thirsty. "What do you mean?"

"I used up my second chance already."

As Charlie shifted his weight to the opposite arm, Claire saw the inky tattoo peek out from his shirt sleeve. Claire suddenly felt red with embarrassment, remembering how just the night before she had cuddled with him. Not only that, but he was unconscious and unaware of it the entire time. God, she was sick.

Claire gathered her composure and finally took a seat next to him, and looked him in the eye. "I believe in third chances too."

Apparently, Charlie hadn't been expecting that response. He looked up, half-shocked, half-intensely directly back at her. "We can't do this Claire."

Claire raised a brow. What exactly were they doing? "Do what?"

Charlie looked exasperatedly back at the rocks, incredulous at why Claire hadn't just left already. Wasn't she disgusted with him? "You shouldn't trust me. I can even trust myself, for Christ's sake."

Claire's stomach flopped. "You think I hate you now?"

"Well… I didn't keep my promise; put myself and you and Aaron in danger. Why wouldn't you? I'm a filthy prat!"

Claire paused to read his tattoo again, lightly touching the ink as she read. "I was with you, you know. When you were sick."

Charlie made a point to look away this time, his ears turning pink. "I know."

"Why would I have come if I hated you?"

Charlie pondered this a minute, "I don't know..!"

"Please let me help you, Charlie."

He turned gently to look at her. His eyes had become softer. His gaze was less intense, sadder. She could see tears forming along his lids.

"Okay."

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A/N: Well? How was it? I am thinking about leaving it here for now, adding an epilogue, and then starting a sequel. What do you guys think? …Another chapter or straight to the epilogue?

Okay, I would totally understand if some of you all feel like Claire is a little OOC. I actually did this on purpose. I wanted to challenge her, to boost her strength and give her an emotional obstacle as well. So far on the show, I have seen the sweet, sensitive and weaker side of Claire. Right now, I feel like she isn't the strongest and best developed character on the show, so I thought I'd give her a little range…hence the scene with Sayid. On the show so far, I have mainly seen how Claire has affected Charlie. I feel like Claire should be able to change to form the relationship as well, that Charlie should change her. I hope I partially succeeded.

As of right now, Aug. 25th, 2005, there is 27 more days until the next season opening. Yay! I am preparing myself by counting down the days, reading about it online when I can (not often) and writing it repetitively in my agenda.

Wow. I actually got 8 reviews. :-P It's a lot better than three, I must say. Thank you all sooo much! I hope you were somewhat satisfied by the update. It was long. I was originally planning on having Claire walk away when Charlie said "You shouldn't be here" but I figured my lovely reviewers had been waiting for three weeks, so I might as well give them something good.

strongshol- I miss you like cra-zy! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. You should update your Reasons for Hate soon. Really. Xo. Sej.

pokefraks13- Of course I didn't forget your pen name! I admit, I haven't seen it on my Updated Stories list for a while now, but I don't have that bad of a memory.

So, now summer is over and we don't get to talk as much as we should. I'm really sorry if my emails are late and everything.

Making people like Sawyer was one of my goals in that last chapter. I don't know… You know I don't like him very much, but there is a lot under that sarcastic southern accent than he's letting on. I thought I'd throw that scene in, just as an idea. I think it worked alright.

ttyl, Sare

artistgirl727- I have GREAT news! I started high school, didn't get lost, and successfully made it to my art classes! I am taking basic design, which isn't as cool as I would hope, but it is only the second week. Then I have Drawing/Painting which is AMAZING! I love that class! In middle school, our teacher would tell us exactly what to draw, and we would do it. This year, however, our teacher gives us very vague directions so we can interpret it individually and do what we like. It is wonderful. They are my favorite classes. It's great.

Hope you enjoyed the update. I tried to lighten things up at the end. :-)

selphie086- Thanks! Here's your next chapter!

jou65- Quebec! Even better! Canada is awesome, considering I'm partially Canadian. ;-) Guess what else? I signed up for Spanish in High School, but it was so full, I got bumped to French. I enjoy it so far. Tomorrow I have a written test on the numbers 1-39. I really like my teacher, too! Thanks! Hope you liked!

rockstarhobbit- ooh! Clever pen name! I love seeing different people's user names, especially when they have to do with Charlie or Dom. ;-) Yeah, summer went by all too quickly and is unfortunately over. But hey, I'm enjoying high school (except for the homework) which is a good thing. Glad your liking the story, hope to hear more from you.

Charlie & his Claire- Ooh! Hiking sounds like fun! When I was in Colorado, we did some hiking, nothing major though. It was a blast! I'm so happy that you are keeping up with my story; your reviews are so nice to read. Thank you so much for all the kind feedback!

…and smells like a grape- Lol. It took me a minute to see that the two names from different reviews were connected! Lol! Clever! Sorry, but the answer to your burning question really isn't that exciting. I don't think this chapter answered it as much as some would've hoped, but I temptation played a huge roll. He was a drug addict, meaning it was hard to give up. He took the statue, didn't he? Even though he was happy with Claire and all, temptations from the past are big. Thanks for the review!

Thank you all so much! I loved reading your reviews and hope you all can give me some feedback as to continue this story or move on.

Review ;-)