Dib stumbled exhausted down the sidewalk. He felt so tired… I could die right here on the street, the boy thought, and wake up tomorrow and feel better. Every part of his body throbbed with pain, and Dib could feel his muscles drawing tight like wire as he walked. His vision was furry without his glasses; when people came close to him they turned into shifty tan blobs.
The gouge on his shoulder dribbled blood with every step. Dib could feel warm liquid squishing between his back and the smooth leather of the trench coat. That added an element of nausea to his agony; it felt like he had some giant slug creature trapped down the back of his shirt. I hope that Zim keeps those leg things clean, Dib thought angrily. If I'm infected with some weird alien spore from them then I'll kill him…
Dib rubbed his eyes and paused to squint at the sky. It was early evening now; the clouds were painted with a creamy gold. Even the skyscrapers were beautiful in this light; the setting sun turned them into pillars of smoldering orange. More time had passed then he realized. Yeah, time sure flies when you're getting the snot beaten out of you by people who owe you their lives, Dib thought. The observation amused him and he laughed a little. People passing him on the sidewalk gave him funny sidelong glances. Dib ignored them all.
It was stupid to attack Zim at school- Dib could admit that now. Other people got caught up in the fighting and keeping them from getting hurt distracted Dib from keeping himself from getting hurt. The boy thought with a shudder of the school day five years ago when Zim had gone into a mad organ-stealing frenzy and had taken Dib's trachea. Dib hadn't been able to protect himself because he was so trying to keep the other skoolchildren out of the fight. The paranormalist absently brushed at his throat at the memory. He still remembered the hollow, echoey feeling the absence of that organ had left…
He walked past the Hi Skool now. From the outside the building looked totally innocent, or as innocent as any building that had once been a prison could look, but Dib tensed instinctively at the sight of it. He had experienced too much pain in the building over the years to ever really feel at ease there.
Dib caught himself suddenly as he reached the fork in the road. If he turned left it was only a few minutes walk to his house, but he couldn't leave yet.
He had just remembered that he wasn't carrying his laptop.
The backpack didn't matter all that much. There was nothing in there that wouldn't be easy to replace. But the laptop was filled with sensitive, carefully gathered information. He needed it back.
Dib cursed under his breath, turning to stomp angrily across the smooth lawn in front of the Skool. How could he have forgotten his stuff for so long? The broken glasses weren't really a problem (Dib had plenty of spares), but the computer would be vital for finding out what Zim was up to. The other students were nowhere near smart enough to get past his encryption, but if they stole it… Dib would just have to steal it back. He had so much information on the tiny machine that he couldn't afford to lose it.
Dib kicked himself inwardly as he walked up the wide steps. Serves me right for bringing it to school. You always knew it was a risk, Dib…
The boy paused at the door as the building's shadow fell over him. It blocked the sun and caused a sudden chill to run down Dib's spine; his hand wavered as he reached for the door.
Dib firmed his face. It was stupid to be scared to go in the building; he'd faced bigger, badder things over the years, right? You can tell yourself that, he thought, But it still seems really… counterproductive to go back in there just AFTER getting out.
Go in and just get it over with.
Dib pulled at the door and then thumped his palm against the window set into it in frustration. Locked. "Oh, come on!" he yelped angrily, smacking the thick glass again. This just made an already terrible day worse. What would he do all weekend, without his stuff to work on?!
There HAS to be somebody in there. A custodian or something. Dib began to beat on the door, hoping to attract a teacher who was working late or a janitor or someone.
There was no response. Dib held back a scream of frustration. Couldn't something be on his side, just once? Just one crumb. One stroke of good luck, one thing to show that the universe isn't completely against me. It's all I ask.
There was no help for it. The Skool was obviously deserted. If he wanted his stuff he would have to break in. Dib felt a twinge of conscience at the thought; even if it was just to retrieve his stuff it didn't feel good to break into the Skool, especially since he would probably have to break a window or something.
Oh well. I guess since the fate of the WORLD depends on it I can probably forgive myself.
Dib gave one last frustrated blow to the pane of the door, and then turned around and began to slouch back down the stairs. When the door swung open suddenly he almost jumped out of his skin.
The pale boy turned warily around to regard the open door. What's up with this? A slow, cool draught of air blew from the dimly-lit common area and Dib edged slowly backwards until he stood in the sun. Okay, this is weird. Dib could admit to himself that some of the paranormal things he latched onto were just plain silly but this was climbing closer to downright creepy. Besides, he didn't want to walk into a trap.
Okay… Zim's gone. You saw him leave; no way he's here waiting for you. Go and check it out.
Dib gained a little bit of nerve as nothing else moved, and stepped slowly to stare into the school. It was odd to see the building without any of the other kids that usually swarmed there. Looks a little better this way too. Hehe. His own weak joke added to his resolve and Dib moved up to stare curiously around the wide room, wondering who had let him in.
"You gonna come in or what, sonny boy?"
Dib squawked and hurled himself to the edge of the stairs. The smooth leather of his trench coat chafed at the open wound on his shoulder, causing black stars of agony to burst in front of his eyes. Relocated to the top of the stairs, Dib crouched and panted, clamping one hand to his chest.
It was only a janitor. It dawned on him slowly- only a janitor. Dib's nerves had been strung altogether too tight today.
The old man was still standing there, shuffling his feet awkwardly and squinting in the sudden light. "You all right there, sonny? Look like sumthin' gave you a turn, here."
Dib swallowed and managed a reply. "Um, yeah. I'm okay, thanks."
"Alrighty then." The old man turned around and made as if to go back into the skool. Dib leaped after him, ignoring the painful protest his shoulder gave.
"Hey, wait!"
The janitor spun to regard Dib irritably. The lower part of his face was covered with a scraggly grey beard that wagged in time to the workings of his jaw. His eyes were dark pits behind the thick lenses of his glasses. "What now? I got work to do, boy, so spit it out."
Dib gathered himself. "Sorry. It's just, um, I need to get in. I left some stuff here. It's really important that I get it back." He lost it for a moment. "The fate of the WORLD may be at stake!" The boy thrust his fist into the air, and then dropped it and smiled weakly as he realized the man was looking at him oddly. "So, could you let me in, please?"
"…Whatever, sonny. Where'd you leave it?"
"I'm not sure. I think I know where it should be, so if you can let me look then it shouldn't take too long to find." Dib kicked himself for letting his previous outburst seep through. I think I should've learned to keep QUIET by now… oh well. Please tell me he'll let me in…
The janitor sighed. "Fine, sonny, but find it quick. I still have work to do."
Dib didn't point out that he had said that already.
The boy retraced his way easily to where the fight had taken place. It wasn't an event he would forget quickly. Once he was there he turned around slowly, staring at the empty halls. He couldn't get used to the absence of people; as much as he loathed his classmates he felt even more uncomfortable without them here. It was… exposed. Vulnerable.
"Hurry it up, boy!"
Right, right, whatever. Now where would that pack be…? Dib walked down the hall to inspect the little alcoves that sheltered the doors to get into the classrooms. The bag could have gotten shoved back into one of them… he would just have to hope it hadn't gotten into one of the classrooms somehow. There was no way janitor-man would let him in there.
Dib craned to stare through the slot windows in the doors anyway. Only desks and the occasional computer.
Oh come on, Dib thought desperately, pacing back down the hall. The janitor's head swiveled slowly to follow his movement. Were all senior school staff members this creepy? The guy was starting to remind him of Ms. Bitters, except he skittered like a cockroach instead of slithering. Dib paced by him again and tried not to look.
A slight bulge in a shadow caught his eye and Dib snapped to the left. He was looking down the hallway into the boy's bathroom, and in the corner where it turned there was a shapeless black lump.
"My backpack!" Dib yelped joyfully, swooping down upon it. On shoulder strap was torn to shreds but other then that it seemed to be undamaged.
The boy picked it up and swung the bag over his shoulder, doing his best to ignore the throb of pain that burst through his shoulder. It was an immense relief to have his stuff back safe with him... but… Dib frowned… what was this? It seemed lighter then it should be…
Oblivious to the janitor's soft snarl of displeasure, Dib crouched on the floor and unzipped his bag. He peered into the folds of cloth, running through what he had put in there- here's the book, the bag, some lint, a gum wrapper, but where's the computer oh no oh no-
Dib's fingers tightened on the canvas. He breathed faster and faster and his head began to pound with rage. Shit shit shit. Someone had stolen his computer.
Dib looked up. He spoke in a high, fast voice: "Mister, look, someone's taken some of my stuff-"
Janitor-man interrupted him. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, sonny, but there's not much anyone can do for that. Now I need to get back to cleaning up the school so you should just get along home now."
Dib stared at him hopelessly.
"Well, go on now!"
The boy dragged himself to his feet. What's the use arguing with him anyway? "Thanks," he mumbled, slinging the bag back over his shoulder. This time when it hurt his knees buckled a little. The janitor accompanied him to the end of the hallway, and Dib pushed open the door and stumbled down the stairs to the sidewalk. And I thought it was going so well… Just more evidence that the universe was against him.
The sun was had set by now, and the minute points of light that were the stars in the city gleamed through the smog. Dib didn't look up as he turned onto his street. The gash in his shoulder twinged with every move he made.
He relaxed slightly once he was inside the house, dropping his bag carelessly by the door and pulling off his heavy black boots. It seemed like ten pounds were removed from his footsteps once they were gone. Dib stretched carefully, popping his neck. He discovered that now, when he wasn't being chased or threatened, he had room to be angry.
He was fighting to save the human race. He had been caught in a quiet, ugly little war for years and it didn't look like it was going to end any time soon. He gave everything for the people around him, always hoping that just once, someone would look back at him with understanding, would congratulate him and sympathize with the sacrifices he made. Who knew how many times the planet would have fallen without his defense? Dib gave so much of himself to the world and there was nothing that made it worth it. He did his best to give people chances but sometimes he just couldn't handle their contempt anymore.
The boy's muscles tensed and then went slack again as Dib forced himself to calm. His face felt hot and Dib was sure that if he looked in a mirror he would be flushed with rage.
Come on, he thought. It's stupid to get so worked up over this. Wasn't it enough to know that he, Dib, was the sole being standing between Earth and DESTRUCTION?!
Maybe it's not anymore. It would be nice… to have somebody to listen to me.
Zim's attacks during the fight had hurt on more than a physical level, Dib had to admit. The alien had never participated in the beatings the other Skool children had inflicted upon Dib before; the boy had some idea that Zim considered it beneath him. Maybe I shouldn't have attacked him, Dib thought, and banished the idea instantly. You couldn't show fear with Zim or he would pursue it and use it to his advantage. Bad enough that he had backed down the other night.
Dib dragged himself up the stairs. His legs felt like they were filled with lead, and the crusted edges of his shirt tugged painfully at his wound. And his face was still a little bloody from his nose and lip. No wonder people had given him funny looks as he walked home.
Gaz's door was closed (it had a look that was somehow menacing) but Dib tiptoed by anyway. An angry sister was the last thing he needed right now…
Dib breathed again when he made it into his own room. Safe! The boy kicked his door shut and began to shuck the hot leather trench coat, and then hissed under his breath as it pulled at the cut on his shoulder. Then he bit his lip and pulled the coat off anyway. The gash started to bleed sluggishly again.
Dib laughed a little at his own ridiculous machismo, and then turned the coat to inspect the damage. Not too bad: it was slick with blood all down the back but probably not unsalvageable. At least something today had gone right, sort of: Dib loved his coat. The boy turned it inside-out and spread it almost tenderly over the back of his computer chair. Maybe the blood would be easier to get out if he let it dry.
Then Dib knelt by his bed and pulled a sturdy plastic tub out from underneath it. He popped off the lid and dug through the contents for a few moments until he surfaced with a bandage, medical tape, and a bottle of prescription-strength painkillers. Then he tried to pull off the t-shirt.
"Shit!" Dib yelped. His own volume surprised him for a moment and he blinked. Then he held his breathe carefully, listening for sounds from his sister. Being doomed was one more thing he didn't need.
There was no way to get the shirt off without enduring extreme pain- the edges of the tear Zim had torn with his spider legs had unraveled and threads had wormed their ways into the gash, and were now stuck in the clotted blood.
Dib gasped and took some shuddery little breaths as he lowered the cotton down to his back again. The paper-thin cloth was soaked instantly with his cold sweat.
Water would probably loosed the threads and wash out the blood. Dib wadded a bunch of fresh clothes together with his medical supplies and made his way to the bathroom.
There, Dib set his stuff on the closed toilet seat, then opened the bottle of painkillers with a practiced twist and swallowed two of the pills dry. He put the cap back on and shook the bottle gently, grimacing at the sound of the rattle. This bottle was almost gone and refills were a pain to get.
If things went on like today, he would be needing many more of them.
Dib turned on the sink's faucet and cupped his hand under it to gulp several mouthfuls of frigid water. The liquid was so cold it burned as it trickled down his throat. It seemed to clear his head a little too. Dib swiped his hand across his mouth and then pushed his hair back. Then he pressed his chilled fingers against his closed eyes- the cold soaked through his lids to the organs underneath. His eyes felt hard and hot, and as the boy stood there he began to feel calmer.
Dib leaned over to pull off his pants and underwear. He kept the t-shirt on. The porcelain tub was cool under his feet and the boy flinched a little before turning on the water.
Dib kept it tepid at first, turning his face towards the jet. The water pushed soothing fingers through his sweaty hair. Dib turned the pressure down a bit, then turned his back to let the gentle stream of water beat just above the cut. He could feel the clotted pieces of blood coming loose to fall down the drain, and after a few minutes Dib dared to slide the sodden shirt off and drop it with a splat.
Eventually he turned off the water and grabbed a towel, rubbing it roughly over his hair so it spiked in every direction then drying the rest of his body.
Dib found the bandage in his clean-clothes-mass-thing, and took a moment to hope that Zim kept his spider legs clean before he pressed the bandage onto the wound. Then Dib craned about clumsily to press tape around the edges to help keep it down. He cursed his enemy softly for putting the wound in such an awkward position.
Pulling on the clean clothes was sheer luxury. Dib sighed quietly at the soothing touch of clean cotton, then bundled up the dirty clothes to put in the wash. He pitched the t-shirt into the garbage without a second glance.
After taking care of his laundry, Dib went back to his room and flopped carelessly across the bed. The painkillers had taken full affect by now, and he felt disconnected and unnaturally calm. Around him the room seemed to roll, like a ship; Dib frowned at the effect and closed his eyes but that only made his nausea worse. His limbs twitched slightly, and Dib bit his tongue hard.
The vomit bubbled up suddenly in his throat, a thin trickle of the vicious stuff escaping his mouth to run down his chin. Dib clapped a narrow palm across his mouth and swallowed once, and then again, forcing the bile back down to his empty stomach. Dib remembered vaguely that you were supposed to take the painkillers with food. He hadn't eaten since breakfast.
The boy heaved himself to his feet. Food and then I think tonight is done. The fridge was almost empty when he checked, but there was a small carton of chocolate milk. Dib grabbed it and gulped it down to banish the sour taste in his mouth, then checked the pantry.
"Thank God," Dib whispered hoarsely at the sight of several cans of soup. He snatched a can of chicken noodle, dumped it into a bowl, and put that in the microwave.
Tendrils of steam wafted gently from it when Dib took it out. The hot broth burned Dib's hands through the bowl, and he dashed over to the table to set it down.
Gaz padded downstairs, lured by the smell of food. When she saw it wasn't pizza she went to the phone and dialed Bloaty's, ordering quietly. Then she came and sat down at the table across from her brother. Dib slurped at his soup, watching her narrowly.
"I saw what happened to you today," she said.
Dib took another spoonful of soup before replying. "Really. Well, thanks for the help."
Gaz snorted softly. "It's not like they killed you."
Dib looked up from his soup and glared at her. "Yeah? Well, it feels like they cracked a few ribs at least."
She sneered at him. "Oh, right, Dib. Suck it up."
He dropped his spoon with a clink and glared at her again. The anger in his eyes covered a little spark of hurt. "I've fought for earth for years and nobody appreciates that! When the planet is overrun with alien invaders and the human race has been exterminated, maybe then they'll think of all those times they ignored me and REGRET IT!"
Gaz's face was unreadable. Dib sullenly stirred the broth with his spoon, then lifted his bowl and drank what was left of the soup. Then he walked to the stairs and turned once more to regard his sister.
"Goodnight, Gaz."
She spoke. "If you aren't down here when the pizza comes, I'll eat it all."
It was a kind of peace offering, at least.
His room was dim and warm, and there Dib pulled out a spare pair of glasses and switched on his computer. When he opened a window to read, the dense black text instantly made his eyes water and Dib gave working any more tonight up as a lost cause.
He went to bed instead, and to his surprise he went to sleep easily.
END CHAPTER 4
Wow… that was a long wait for a chapter in which nothing much happened, yes? I hope you enjoyed it anyway. The next one should have more action, or at least more interesting things going on. Thanks and loves to everyone who reviewed! You all sustain me.
During… um… the last two weeks of this month I will be gone. I'm attending an art camp in Sitka and I probably won't have computer access, although I could be wrong. Hopefully I will be able to update before then. Chapter finished June 10, 2004.