Disclaimer: Me no own.

Chapter 5: To Be Humanity

Raven watched her finger slowly turn purple. The blood was clotting at the tip of her pinky, giving her gray skin a most peculiar tint.

It amazed her.

Waiting for her tea water to boil, Raven had claimed a kitchen table seat. There was no one awake yet. The darkness of the kitchen made her feel calm though, nothing stirred in her mind.

It was times like this that she wondered if she was still able to feel. She became so hard, so controlled and collected at times that even she herself wondered if she was still feeling.

With a careful finger she had plucked out a strand of violet hair. It pricked, but not enough to ensure her she was still among the human capabilities of sensitivity.

Slow curiosity lead her to wind the purple string around her finger. It wound and wound, cutting off the natural flow of blood. The pressure made her feel uneasy, she fought the human reaction to unwind the binding.

But that reaction settled her inner demons. She was still fearful of her body and health. She felt it.

It was a week later before the consuming feeling overtook her again. She was training with the rest of the Titans. Robin had demanded weekly training to work on better cooperation within the team.

She moved through everything flawless. It was staged as though she were acting. Humans were anything but flawless.

Dodging the lasers she was able to catch glimpses of her teammates. They stumbled, their timing was off and occasionally the red-beamed lasers nicked them. Even Robin had to take a quick back flip to avoid a land mine detonation he hadn't seen.

Given, Raven did had the advantage of flight. Still, even Starfire was still messing up occasionally. Her uniform caught on barbs; her star bolts missed their targets…

Raven felt robotic.

She looked across the barren training course. Much of the course had already been destroyed and they had only been going at it for about a half an hour.

Her eyes caught on one of the last standing barbed poles. Originally these barbed wire poles had been arranged as a sort of air maze. The point was to get through them quickly and not get caught.

When they had nicked Starfire's uniform she had taken out most of them.

The mystic swallowed a large breath of air and made sure none of her fellow comrades were paying specific attention to her.

In a blur of blue and a flare of black magic, she rushed at the pole.

At the last moment she took a graceful arc just to the side of the barbs. She made sure it was still close enough to catch her.

There was blazing pain of shredding skin and Raven gasped uncontrollably. Her speed cut itself off and she paused midair. On the left side her cape was torn and a fevered wound on her upper arm had started bubbling red.

Clapping her hand over the wound she fixed her cape. A small bit of satisfaction was present in her stature.

When the cut stopped bleeding she wiped her hand on the inside of her cape and flew over to meet the rest at the finish line.

For some reason, after that training session, Robin had given them a break. Even a month later he did not insist they train.

Raven might have assumed it was because of her, but Robin made no other indication that he knew anything about her.

But she had bigger problems than training at the moment. Starfire had just commissioned her to cook once again. After all, the food she cooked had been so appealing to the Tameranian the last time.

There was no getting away from the sunny smile of her's.

It was two pans of burned noodles and a charred chicken before her mind started to bug her. All her failures of cooking hadn't disheartened her at all. She felt nothing for her failed attempts, she just grabbed another food and attempted at it.

There was no anger, frustration or sadness. Surely humans weren't this okay with countless failures.

Raven dumped the chicken into the trash. Moving back to the stove she heard the cheering of Cyborg, having just bested Beast Boy at whatever game they had been playing. Starfire congratulated the victor sweetly.

There was another box of rice in the cabinet and she levitated it down. The stove was already hot so all she needed was a pan-

Inadvertently, or maybe purposely seeing the track her mind was revolving around, she had slid her right forearm back over the still hot stove. Her bare skin pressed into the blasting heat.

It jerked back quickly and she bit her lit tightly to keep from calling out. There was the warmth of blood on her tongue when she turned her arm over to have a look at the damage.

There was a half circle reddening across the pale flesh. It still felt like it was on fire.

Raven moved to get some ice from the freezer. The words rewound and played over and over in her mind.

It felt.

L I N E A G E

Days after that she had managed to hide the burn. It had developed into a nearly crimson mark, but was fading fast with her healing abilities. No one had noticed.

Or, that's what she had thought.

"Raven." Robin called her name just as she was going to be one evening. They were the last two up.

She didn't come any closer to him; she only paused and waited for him to go on.

He spoke softly, "Why did you do it?"

There was a knot in her throat. She took a calming breath to beat that emotion, whatever it was, back. "Do what?"

He got up from his spot on the couch to look at her. Robin did not clarify, but he really didn't need to.

Raven turned her head, her eyes tracing the lines of the floor. "I don't know."

"Surely you must." He pressed. There was a frown pulling at his lips.

"I need proof of my own humanity." She conceited quickly. There was a sickened feeling that welled up within her before being sedated. It felt like fear.

Finished with her evening and with talking to him she turned for the stairs.

"Isn't your existence enough?" He called after her.

When Raven made it to the top of the stairs she dropped him the answer.

"No."

There was a click of a door as she retired to her room.

I haven't written Raven in so long, oh how I missed her. Self-defamation, fun stuff kiddies.

I will also be cooking up a lovely horror story for Halloween. Lovely holiday it is.

Please review.

:Bloody Fae: