Here's a little cute drabble for you guys; fear Black Hayate! This was written for Theme 7; Milk. Please note that this is slightly AU, and enjoy!

"Good morning, Sir," Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye held the office door open behind her carefully, making sure that the puppy that she had taken in a day ago was through the door fully before she shut it.

"'Morning, Lieutenant. How are you this morning?"

"Fine, Sir."

The pup snuffled around the floor for a moment, taking in the new surroundings, and lolloped over to Mustang, tail wagging furiously from side-to-side. As he reached down to scratch the dog's ears, he asked, "Found a name for him yet, Lieutenant?"

"I'm afraid not Sir. What actually concerns me more is that he didn't want to eat anything at all last night."

Roy looked mildly surprised. "Perhaps he was just a little overtired? He looks pretty good to me." The pup's tail wagged briefly as the Colonel looked at him. Roy's eyebrows shot into his hairline as the little mutt walked under his desk, took hold of one end of his shoelace and began to tug.

"He's only a young dog, Sir." Roy's attention was once again averted to his Lieutenant, who looked slightly concerned. "To be honest, I was expecting one of those puppies that ate anything."

Roy paused for a moment, trying to think of what could be causing this lack of appetite, and trying to ignore the soft tugging that was inching his right foot slowly away from his desk. "What were you trying to feed him, Hawkeye?"

"Just some beef, cut into smaller pieces so he could swallow them properly. And some dry dog food." Roy couldn't help but smile at the thought of his First Lieutenant mothering the puppy and cutting his food into smaller portions, or offering him dog biscuits one at a time. "Do you have any idea how old the little guy is?"

"No, Colonel. But I would assume that he's quite young."

"Did you try giving him milk?"

"Milk? I thought milk made dogs ill, sir."

Roy smirked. "Not necessarily, Lieutenant. He's still only little..." A slightly harder tug on the undoubtedly tangled shoelace, "... and frankly I wouldn't be surprised if he was somehow separated from his mother before he was old enough to look after himself properly."

"I suppose so, Sir. Do you know if there's any milk in the mess hall that I can give him?"

"Allow me to fetch it for you, Lieutenant," Mustang stood up, and almost tripped over his own tangled shoelaces, much to the apparent delight of his First Lieutenant's pet, who barked happily at the Flame Alchemist's expense.

"The lengths you go to impress a woman, Mustang," he chastised himself and he made his way towards the kitchens.

When Colonel Roy Mustang returned with a half-filled bottle of milk and a small saucer for the puppy to eat off, he found Hawkeye doing paperwork with said animal on her lap, and Havoc lounging casually against his superior's desk, smoking.

"Havoc, shouldn't you be working?"

"With all due respect, Sir, so should you," Hawkeye answered for Havoc, who was busy taking a long drag on the cigarette.

"Well, I'm so sorry that I went to get food for your dog," Mustang grumbled quietly.

"Apology accepted," Hawkeye replied without looking up from her paperwork. "But I'm sure I can handle the feeding from here."

It amazed Roy that his Fist Lieutenant could change from a reasonably open person to an insane paperwork enforcer in the space of five minutes, but he sighed and submitted, placing the bottle and plate on Hawkeye's desk and returning to his own, picking up the pen unwillingly and beginning to pour over the first sheet of paper.

Hawkeye poured a small portion of the white liquid into the bowl and placed it on the floor near her feet, where her dog was lying. His ear pricked up as she put the saucer next to him, and he sniffed the dish curiously. He then stood on all fours, and began to slowly lap up the milk.

Havoc grinned. "Well, would you look at that?"

Riza allowed herself a small smile as she ruffled the dog's ears. "I didn't know you that you knew so much about dogs, Sir."

"Well, Lieutenant..." Colonel Mustang clasped his hands together and rested them in front of him. "I am a Dog Lover, after all."

And as quick as a flash, Roy had made his way over to his Lieutenant's desk and was kneeling next to the pup, who had just finished his milk and was now licking his tiny chops with a look of contentment.

"You're a good boy, aren't you?" Roy said, stroking the length of the dog's back with his hand and leaning in close. This was probably the biggest mistake he made.

The puppy lunged forward and stuck his muzzle directly into Mustang's mouth, his tail thumping wildly against the leg of the desk. For about two seconds, no one moved. Then Mustang yelped and jerked backwards violently, thus knocking the dog unsteady and causing it to land flat on its behind under Riza's feet.

"Please don't be cruel to my dog, Sir," Riza sighed, picking up the whimpering pup and placing him on her lap.

"HIS TONGUE! His tongue went right down my throat!" Mustang gargled, wiping his mouth violently on his shirtsleeve and coughing violently.

"Must feel different to be on the receiving end, huh Boss?" Havoc grinned, and Roy shot him a look that could have shattered glass. "No, seriously! The little guy had the 'tongue hurricane' action going and everything!"

"Hurricane..." Riza murmured, and both Roy and Havoc looked at her questioningly. "What do you think about 'Hayate' for a name?"

"What about 'Black Hayate'? After all, her slipped in there like a shadow; very professional," snickered Havoc, earning another dirty look from his commanding officer.

"I like it, Second Lieutenant," Hawkeye nodded in affirmation. "Very well... my beloved dog is named Black Hayate!"

After one more, quick splutter, Roy had just enough breath to grumble, "You have no naming sense..."

Notes: Haha, that was fun to write. Fear the almighty tongue of Buraha! Now, that WAS a snog. I hoped you enjoyed reading this slightly crackish drabble, coz I sure enjoyed writing it!