A/N: Alright--as the song goes--ain't too proud to beg, so here goes.
Jess sweetie--I've given you a chapter so whatcha say? An eye for an eye? A chapter for a chapter? hehehe. If you want to be stubborn I'll see if I can muster something else up soon, but I'm hoping this is enough. Ya'll enjoy! Until next time--I'll even become a Yankees fan if you update (this offer is only good for Jess--not for Gracie, LOL--PCGirl.
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"You beat me again," grinned Thomas as he stood at the pool table at Rodi's with Katie—a part time employee while she attened LU.
"You'd think with your mom being as good as she is she'd have given you some pointers," she laughed.
"Yeah? Well, give me another chance—maybe I was just letting you win."
John watched the conversation from the doorway of Rodi's—what was it with McBain men and red heads? He just grinned and continued onto the bar—Thomas was falling fast and he didn't even realize it yet. He'd learned nearly twenty one years ago that if you waited too long it could cost you everything.
John stood in the doorway to Rodi's—he'd been standing there for nearly half an hour trying to figure out exactly what to say. He knew he was on trial here—he was both the defendant and his own attorney—Natalie was his judge and jury—and what she said would seal his fate. Had he waited too long? It'd been weeks since the ordeal at the Palace and the one conversation they had at the apartment.
He took a deep breath and walked in—he had one shot—one shot for her to hear him out—hopefully she hadn't already made her up her judgment.
Rex caught sight of John first, "I thought I smelt bacon."
"Rex!" said Natalie through laughter. "I'm sorry—I shouldn't be laughing," she smiled at John.
"It's ok—I deserve it," he said as he looked at Rex. "Can you let me talk to Natalie for a minute?"
"Ok—but I'm watching you," he said as he took his drink and food to an empty table.
John looked at Rex for a moment then back to Natalie, "Hey."
"Hi," she said with a raised eyebrow—her demeanor changing now to what he expected of her—hurt and distrust.
"Listen—can we later—when you get off—find a private, neutral place to talk."
"You've been in seclusion with your bottle for the past few weeks—why talk now?"
He shrugged, "Because I got my head on straight and we need to clean the air. So when do you get off?"
"I close up tonight. Come here and we'll talk as I clean up—ok?"
"Ok. I'll see you later," he said as he turned and left—ignoring the stares from Rex as he left. She wouldn't have agreed to talking to him if he didn't have a chance—right? He hoped so—he didn't know what to do if he had no chance.
"I'm surprised your guard dog wasn't at the door waiting," said John—speaking of Rex—as he walked into the empty bar.
"He's harmless," she grinned. "Just like yours."
"Yeah—I guess our little brother's worry about us a bit too much. But it's good to know you'll always have someone that has your best interests at heart," he said with a chuckle of how bad that sounded at a time like this. "I'm sorry—."
"Don't apologize, John—that's what tonight is about—right? You explaining why you did what you did—me trying to decide whether it's you or Cris I want to be with. Even though I don't know myself."
"You don't have to make any decisions tonight—I promise. I'm just glad you let me come in," he said as he took the trash bag from her and went around the bar emptying cigarette butts while she wiped down the tables and sat the chairs up behind him. They were quiet for a minute before he finally spoke, "So what's your first question for me?"
She gave out a deep sigh and stopped what she was doing and looked at him, "Why did you let him go to jail? I mean Evangeline seems so sure she can get him out now—what were the chances before he'd been able to do the appeal?"
"He wanted to go to jail—it was his choice."
"And you freely went along with it? Just like you freely went along with keeping the truth from me?" she spitted back at him.
"He loves you—wanted to protect you from wasting your life on a man that you could only visit through a barred window. That's no life for you Natalie—I've seen more spouses than I care to admit have to watch their significant other get carried off in handcuffs. Do you know what that does to both of them? It breaks the person on this side of the bars just as bad is breaks the other one. I couldn't watch you break like that—not again."
"So figuring Cristian was dead and I'd slept with a stranger was better?"
He gave out a deep sigh, "No—that hurt me just as bad, but I gave my word."
There was silence in the air as they finished with the tables and she went and got the broom—but he took it from her hands and motioned for her to start cleaning off the bar area. Natalie broke the silence this time, "I'm going to see Cristian tomorrow. It's his first visit with the psychologist—and I'm going to stand by him until he's free. I already told him this, but you need to hear it too—you deserve to hear it as your just a part of the giant elephant in the room as me and him are.
"I'm not making a choice between either of you until he's free. Until he has a chance to fight of me. So tell me John—are you going to fight for me?"
"With all I have," he said as he walked over to the bar and leaned on it. "You brought me out of this dark place I was in for so long. And if you're giving me another chance I'll take it because I never though I'd love another woman after Caitlyn and you proved me wrong."
"John," she sighed.
"Ok, ya know what? I'm gonna—I'm going to go because you need to finish cleaning up," he said as he put down the broom and walked towards the door. "Goodnight, Natalie."
"Goodnight," she said quietly as she walked him leave. She stood there for the longest time just trying to figure out what she was going to do.
For the next month John was there at Rodi's almost everyday—talking to her—listening to her, letting her know he wasn't going anywhere.
One night in early January though it all changed.
John walked into the bar and almost immediately wished he'd never come in. The first instinct something was wrong was of Nash standing by the doorway brooding. He followed his line of sight to see Cristian and Antonio sitting at a table with both Jessica and Natalie, "What's going on? Why aren't you sitting with Jess?"
"Ask her—I'm outta here," he said as he turned and left in a huff—Jessica and Natalie both look to the door and seeing John watching them.
"Hold on," said Natalie as she got up and walked over. "Hey," she said with a slight smile.
"Hey—I didn't know the appeal went through today."
"Yeah, he's on parole until they finish being able to charge Carlo Hesser with the whole brain washing and wanting the Vega's and Santi's dead. We're—celebrating," she paused as she looked over to Jessica.
"Yeah—now I know why Nash left out of here so quickly. Antonio force him away? I'm sorry—that was wrong of me to say—you go on celebrating. Tell Cris I'm happy for him—he's got his life back."
"John," she pleaded as he began to walk off.
"He deserves some time with his wife—I'm not giving up the fight—just know that," he said as he touched the side of her face with his fingers.
"Ok," she said as she bit her lip and nodded before going back to the table—being quiet and feeling very uneasy.
"What was that all about?" asked Cristian.
"John was just coming in for some dinner—but he changed his mind," she shrugged.
"Yeah, well I wish he'd change his mind about living here altogether," laughed Cris.
"Him and Nash both," said Antonio as he took a sip of his beer.
"You used to be friends with John—how can you say that Antonio?"
"People change," he shrugged.
"Yeah—they do," said Jessica quietly as her and Natalie exchanged silent glances.
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Natalie put her key in and heard the click of it unlocking. She'd been surprised to see a light was still on in the apartment and when she walked into the living room she smiled. He was stretched out on the couch with a bunch of files lying on the coffee table and one was on his chest. "Hey," she said softly as she ran touched his face—he looked so peaceful.
His eyes fluttered open and for a moment he thought he was dreaming, "Hey—what are you doing here?"
"I'm coming home—what do you think I'm doing?" she laughed as she kneeled down next to him.
"How did tonight go? How was Cristian?"
She shook her head and her eyes got watery, "Jess and I had a long talk—we realized neither of the Vega boys are the men we fell in love with. She's probably sharing a glass of wine with Nash right now at the Palace Bar—and I'm here—right where I belong."
"Do they know?" he asked as he sat up and put the file to the side.
"Cristian does—after Jess went to find Nash I called him and we talked in Angel Square—peacefully," she reassured him when he gave her a wary look. "We've both changed, but we both know we're always going to be important to the other one. He's upset, but I think he gets it."
"It was never a fight over who you'd pick Natalie—I just wanted you happy."
"And I am—because I'm with you—don't you get it John? I'm here because even with everything that happened—even when you kept that secret from me and I was heartbroken because of it—I couldn't imagine not being there with you through whatever else life decides to throw at us. I love you John."
He laughed at hearing her say those words, "I never thought I'd hear you say them again—not to me at least."
"It's always been you John—for a very long time," she smiled as she got up onto the couch—straddling him there for a moment before pushing him back with a hard kiss. "I want it to be you that's with me from now until we're old and grey, ok?"
"Ok," he said with a grin as he stood up, her legs scissor locking around him as he carried her to their bed.
This was his second chance—and he was going to thank God for every extra moment he got to spend with Natalie—the woman he loved.