The Girl who Came From all That Space
(A/N: O.K. gang, here you have a classic boy meets girl scenario, only add a few pounds of insane humor to the recipe, and you get this crazy story.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. That's Jhonen Vasquez's job.
Ch 1:Xela: the eccentric new girl
Miles above the Earth, a spaceship orbited the atmosphere. It was small in appearance, like an escape pod, and could only house one person. The said person was gazing down at the planet before her. "It's so beautiful... like a blue and green gem." The young woman looked around her mid-teens. Her wavy hair was snow-white, and tumbled for a few inches past her shoulders. Her skin was a tan hue, like she had at one time spent many hours in the sun. Other than her cat-like ears and tail, she looked human. Still, the girl stared at the planet with her cobalt blue eyes, only to be brought out of the trance by a sudden and just as loud BANG! 'CRITICAL HIT! CRITICAL HIT!' Her computer blared. "What the-" there was a beep on the control panel as a message came in to her from her assailant. "Pathetic space drifter! You will not take my mission away from me- this planet is mine! I AM ZIM!" The transmission was cut off as the alien's ship(the girl's, not Zim's) came crashing down to planet Earth. "If I don't do something now, I'll die." the girl thought to herself. At first, she couldn't think of something, but then it hit her. "That's it! Computer! Switch on the reverse thrusters!" As the computer did as it was told, The girl put on the space helmet( which looked remarkably like the motorcycle helmets that cover your entire head) that matched her maroonand white jumpsuit. "Now the only thing I have to worry about now is what to do once I land..."
On earth, somewhere around nighttime, a paranormal investigator just the same age as the girl (about 17 earth years) peered through a telescope to the sky. "Dad! Dad! You gotta come see this!" Instantly, Professor Membrane burst onto the roof. "What is it son? Have you given up your insane dreams and decided to study real science?"
"No! A spaceship is falling from the sky, and it's gonna land in our neighborhood" Disappointed, Prof. Membrane shook his head, saying "I remember a time when I was that insane..." And left the roof, muttering to himself further. Dib just ignored his father and looked up to the sky. "I wonder who it is in that spaceship..." Crash! The girl's spaceship crash-landed right in front of Dib's house. Eager to see who was inside Dib leaped off the roof, Alien sleep-cuffs at hand. The Ship was silver-colered and shaped like a mouse (the computer kind, not the animal kind). Cautiously, he approached the ship. Then, without warning, the door in front opened up, and a figure fell out. Dib rushed over. He saw the figure was that of a young woman, around his age, or at least that's what he was guessing; he couldn't see the face behind the well-tinted helmet. But before Dib could remove the helmet, The girl regained consciousness. She hit the paranormal investigator's hand away and leaped back into her ship, hoping it was still in working condition. It was, but it couldn't hover higher than twenty feet. The girl used this to her advantage to get away from the strange boy. As she flew off to who knows where, Dib shouted to his sister. "Gaz! Did you see that? An alien!" Gaz opened up her window...and threw an empty Poop cola can at him, which gave him a steady amount of head trauma. "Don't bother me Dib! I'm almost at the last level!" As his sister closed her window with an echoing Slam!, Dib sighed. "Fine. If no one will believe me, them, I'll have to find this alien and expose her facade and make them believe..."
Two days later, at the High Skool...
"Class, due to the decay in the sympathy of overworked teachers, the school board has decided to add a new student to the classroom" Ms. Bitters had taken the job at the High Skool as the new Ancient World History Teacher since the old Ancient World History teacher, Mr. Cartstensen, was abducted by aliens and had not returned yet. Anyway, back to the story..
The new student, as you would have guessed, was the very same girl who crashed her spaceship in front of Dib's yard, only this time her cat ears and tail were missing. She flipped back her snowy white hair and flashed her cobalt blue eyes at the class. "Hello. My name's Xela. I just moved here from New Jersey." The room, seeing that it was still morning, was slow to respond. "Hello Xela." Everyone said monotonously. Xela flashed them a quizzical look. "What is this? An AA meeting? Wake up, people! Life doesn't last forever!" Xela looked to Dib, who was making the same face when he first saw Zim. "Take that guy(points to Dib) for example. He's awake, quite bright-eyed and bushy-tailed if you ask me-"
"YOU'RE THE ALIEN! I KNOW YOU ARE!"
"Excuse me?"
"Everyone, you have to believe me! Two days ago an alien spaceship crash-landed in the street in front of my house! And now she's here, claiming she's from New Jersey! Come on people, piece it together! She's not from New Jersey! She's from OUTER SPACE!" The whole room went quiet. "Dib, stop ranting about space and sit down." Ms. Bitters shouted. Dib, frustrated, sat down. "Xela, we don't have any desks available yet, so you'll have to sit on the counter at the back of the class."
"I don't mind"
"I don't care whether you mind or not."
"Whatever, lady" As 1st period dragged on, no one neither noticed or cared when Dib continued to try to convince the class that Xela was an alien from beyond the stars. "What about her white hair? No one that's human has white hair." Someone spoke up to shut the paranormal investigator up. "She probably bleached it Dib, now shut up." But Dib didn't listen. "And her eyes! No one who is human has eyes that intense of a shade!" Some of the kids shifted glances at the fact that Dib paid so much attention to that little detail. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Sounds like Dib's got a CRUSH ON THE NEW GIRL!" Shouted the same kid who said 'Dib's got a bird doodie on his jacket' (reference from: The Frycook Who came From all that space) in the same tone of voice. The entire class burst into laughter. "No I don't! I just wanna prove that she's an alien menace out to destroy all of mankind." Xela leaned over to converse with Zita. "Is he always like this?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. When he gets really bad we just send him to the Crazy House for Boys."
"I see."
"Everyone, be quiet and listen to my lecture of how your all doomed to be pawns in the hopelessly creative hands of fan fiction writers." Once again, 1st period went back to monotonous boringness of bland and hardly random events- until...
WAP! A reasonably moderate wad of paper, possibly notebook paper borrowed from a neighboring desk of the sender, hit Dib on the back of the head. It took him a moment to realize that the said wad was a note. He uncrumpled it:
FYI: I am NOT trying to destroy all of mankind or whatever it is you creatures call yourselves. I'm not a threat to your species so leave me alone!
After reading this Dib scribbled a response on the paper, then threw it back to the sender:
How do I know you're not lying to me? What if you are trying to destroy mankind or take over the universe?
Her response:
I have better things to do than to waste my time taking over planets and wiping out their species. What, do you think I'm Irken? Don't compare me to those bastards you-
"YOU THERE! What are you writing?" Ms. Bitters had caught them. Xela glared."None of your business you hag!" The classroom gasped at the alien's display of shamelessness. Ms. Bitters growled. "If you were sitting in a desk I'd transfer you into the underground classroom. But since you're not, I just won't ever give you a desk; I'll just give you detention."
"See if I'll show up!" Suddenly, the whole skool gave a resounding ring as 1st period was over. Despite this, Ms Bitters and Xela were still arguing. "I'll have to contact your parents and ask them why you're so loony-"
"Well you can't! Do you know why? I live alone!" And with that, Xela made an angsty retreat complete with a slamming door. Dib picked up the note and read what Xela had written. "Okay, so your not trying to take over the planet. But what are you up to..."
"Dib! Class is over! Get out of here!" Dib, seeing that Ms. Bitters was still furious of the newcomer's defiance, made a hasty run out of the door. Then, by a moment of fate, he quite literally ran into a certain green alien. "We meet again Dib-worm! Surely you are eager to hear of my next most diabolical plan to destroy your world."
"Uh-huh. That's very interesting." said Dib in an obviously uninterested tone of voice, leaving Zim confused, angry, and late for class to plan out the rest of the day.
Later after skool, Dib had decided to try to follow Xela to find out where she lived, bringing the alien sleep-cuffs from the night before( he always has those at hand nowadays). Sneaking down to the parking lot, he crouched in the bushes like a tiger waiting for it's prey. The paranormal investigator didn't have to wait long, for Xela walked out of the building with a purple and black backpack slung on her shoulders. But which vehicle was hers? Dib wondered this. Was it the red Subaru legacy? No, she passed it. How about the teal Grand Am Pontiac? NO! She passed that one to! Finally, she stopped at a silver Honda Metric scooterchained to a telephone pole. Still sitting among the bushes, Dib took out of his backpack a straw and what looked likea tack. But it only looked like a tack. Inserting the tack in the straw and taking aim, Dib shot at the backpack of the rider as she drove off. Dib took out some machine thingy that had Xela on GPS or whatever it was that people use to track some one down. "I'm lucky the High Skool is next to a spy store which sells tiny tracking devices" Dib muttered to himself for no reason in particular except to explain to the reader what that damned tack thing was. Dib emerged from the bushes only to be caught by nearby jocks.
Three bruises and a swirly later, Dib reached his destination. The house was very creepy-looking, what I would say a typical setting for a horror movie. It was in disrepair, and was overdue for a new coat of paint. Why anyone would live here was anyone's guess. Slowly, Dib opened the front door, which surprisingly was unlocked. Dib looked to the monitor of the tracking thingy, which was undamaged from the beating Dib took from the jocks. "It says here that Xela is only five feet away from me." The paranormal investigator looked around. The only possible way that Xela could be five feet away from Dib was that if she was in... "The closet." Slowly, Dib reached his hand towards the rusted handle of the door, and opened it. "Merowww..." growled something from the shadows of the interior of the closet. Without warning, a cat leaped up and attacked Dib, yowling in fury. Fur flew and blood spilled as the killer cat attached itself to Dib head and dug it's claws in. He saw out of the corner of his eye that the tracking device was latched onto the cat's collar "Ahhhhhhhhh--" Dib's screams didn't go unheard. Down the nearby stairs came a very angry old woman. "Get out of my house ya whippersnapper! Ya think of robbing my house again and I'll send fluffy after ya and I'll tell im' to bring back your kidney so's I can eat it fer breakfast." Dib, terrified by the threat of losing a kidney in such a dramatic and painful way, tore the cat from his now bleeding head and charged out the door. "Okay, so that wasn't Xela's house.( no, ya think?) So that must mean that she realized that I was tracking her. Damn it she's smart. If I was tracking down Zim, he would have never have found out. At least, not until it was too late." But then, Dib started laughing to himself, for he had come unto a revelation. "Xela is going to be a lot more challenging to deal with. I'm just glad she's not trying to take over the world..."
(A/N: So what do you think? Didn't expect the old lady, huh? Neither did I! It just came out as I was on a typing spree. Anyway, I still have no idea whether Xela and Dib are going to get together; probably not. It depends on what's best for the plot. The upcoming chapters are gonna have some crazy things happen; Xela explains why she's here, there's a fight(a physical one involving minor blood loss cuz Xela's got some claws!) And, yes, the old lady will make a second appearance and someone(not Dib) losses a kidney!)