Part Two: GSAs and How Haas Isn't Gay

"Rico alert, twelve o'clock," Matt muttered under his breath as they saw their flamboyant friend rushing towards them. Jeff and Adam both shoved him. Matt shrugged; he knew he needed a warning before dealing with Rico. At least Jackie and Haas were nowhere to be found for the moment; dealing with the two wild ones and Haas' denial was too much for anyone to take.

Jeff waved to Rico. "Hey, man, what's wrong?"

Rico looked distressed. "I'm trying to start a GSA and no one will sign my peititon! I can't start the club if no one'll sign!"

Jeff blinked his confusion evident. "You can't get anyone to sign for a gay and straight club here? In this school?" Matt couldn't help but chuckle a bit. The sheer amount of bisexual/gay students in this school was almost statistically impossible.

Rico slumped his shoulders. "Jackie and Charlie were the only ones to sign it."

"I'll sign it," Jeff offered.

"Same," Matt and Adam both said. Matt continued, "I'm sure Lita would sign it, too."

"I need at least fifteen signatures," Rico informed them. He sniffled dramatically. Matt resisted the urge to groan loudly. He hated drama queens. "I'm never going to get my signatures, and this school is going to continue to allow homophobes like Randy get away with calling people names like-"

"Um, you don't need to tell us the names," Adam interjected. "We've all heard them, I assure you."

"Many, many times," Jeff mumbled.

"What am I going to do?"

"We'll figure something out, Rico, don't worry," Adam said. "I mean, it should be easy enough."

That was when Matt saw the look on Jeff's face. Damnit, he was thinking. Jeff smiled. "I've got an idea…"

And that was why Matt- along with Jeff, Charlie, Adam and Jackie- were all sitting a behind a table with a large sign which read 'Sign the Petition, Get A Kiss'. The line to sign the petition was long. Matt swallowed nervously. There was already a long line. Jeff was still smiling, Charlie was looking at the line for some girls he wanted to kiss, who would probably pick Adam instead, who was rocking back and forth in his chair, and Jackie who was humming to herself.

The first two in line was Nidia and Rey. Nidia signed the petition and Adam began to laugh evilly.

"You know, you can't kiss your boyfriend Nidia…" Adam smirked. Nidia rolled her eyes and ignored Adam's comment.

"I'm debating whether I should kiss Charlie or Matt," she said.

"We should've just sold lesbian porn." Nidia looked over at Charlie.

"And where would you get that porn from exactly?" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Well Nidia, you like Jackie right?" Jeff asked.

"NOT THAT MUCH!" She yelled angrily. She then kissed Matt and left to wait for Rey.

Rey was signing, he was about to leave when Jackie spoke up.

"Wait! Rey you have to kiss someone! I'm taking pictures and selling them for money for the future benefit of the club." Jackie said showing the picture of Matt and Nidia on her digital camera.

"No, um that's alright I don't wanna kiss anyone…"

Adam grinned. "Oh, come on, Rey! It's for a good cause and everything."

"No, I don't want to-" Rey stopped talking when Adam leapt over the table. "Um…fine?"

Adam took Rey, and dipped him as if they were dancing the tango, landing a highly dramatic and long kiss as Jackie happily took several pictures. When they were done, there was applause, hooting, and catcalls from the line. Rey was frozen in place. "Not bad," Adam said with a smile, smacking Rey's ass before taking his seat again. Adam didn't hear Rey 'eep', but everyone else did.

"Got that too!" Jackie said happily.

Next was Stacy who was dragging Batista with her.

"Sign." She demanded. Batista signed. "Now kiss." She mistakenly pointed at Charlie.

"Fuck no," Batista snarled. Charlie was just shaking his head adamantly.

Stacy blinked. "Oops, I meant-"

"That Charlie and Dave would sell for five bucks if they kissed," Jackie interrupted, looking pointedly at Stacy, willing her to get the point.

Stacy nodded in understanding. She stood directly in front of Batista and pouted. "Oh, come on, Dave. I'll give you a present if you kiss him." When Batista looked unconvinced, she leaned over and whispered in his ear. He rolled his eyes but nodded. "Thank you, Dave."

Charlie still looked as if he didn't want to do it. However, the glare that Jackie and Rico were both giving him convinced him. He closed his eyes tightly and kissed Batista. The picture, as Jackie saw on her digital camera, didn't show how much they didn't want to kiss each other.

Hunter walked up to the table and signed the petition. Jeff smiled up at him, but Hunter continued to have a fairly blank expression. "Any of you try to kiss me, and you'll have Stephanie to deal with." Jeff frowned, disappointed. Hunter just walked off.

There was a group groan from the kissers when Randy walked up. He signed and started to walk towards Jackie. She held up her hand. "Um, the sign doesn't say that you get to pick who you kiss, Randy Orton," Randy looked as if he was going to argue, and Jackie pointed her finger at Charlie. "Have fun!"

"That was cruel," Matt whispered to her. Jackie just smiled.

Charlie stood up. "I'm not kissing him!"

"I don't want to kiss him!" Randy said heatedly. "He's a loser!"

"I'm a loser!" Charlie snapped back. "You're a moron and the only thing smaller than your ass is your brain!"

"I have a beautiful ass!"

"Your ass is terrible, just like your goddamn face!"

"You just don't have any taste! I will have you know, I've been hit on everyday by chicks and guys alike."

"No guy in his right mind would hit on you! Aside from the fact that you're not attractive, they would have to listen to you talk! If they wanted to listen to someone talk, they'd get Nowinski! At least he's more-" Charlie paused, confused. "Wait, this shit doesn't matter. I'm not gay!"

Jeff snickered as Adam leaned into him and said, "Right…we believe that."

Rico rolled his eyes and clapped at Randy and Charlie. "Let's get with it boys! Just kiss and go, we've got other people on line."

The kiss didn't look as good as the Charlie and Batista one. Jackie decided this one would be worth four dollars instead of five.

The group soon had looks of terror on their face. Andrew had just came to sign it.

"Pucker up Jackie." He said smirking, Jackie groaned. Kissing Andrew was the last thing she wanted to do.

Jeff smirked. "Just look at who's on line behind him, Jackie, and think happy thoughts."

Jackie looked, and smiled when she saw Cena's face. She sighed happily, and got through the kiss without confrontation. Cena signed the petitition. Pausing in the middle of it, he looked up at Jackie. "It's cool to sign if I ain't gay right?"

Jackie nodded feeling relived that John wasn't gay, therefore he wouldn't kiss any of the guys, and would have no choice but to kiss Jackie because she was the only chick there.

"Hey, Jackie, good luck with the club and shit." John smiled at her, and Jackie just smiled dopely back. She chose this moment to ignore the little snicker-like sounds that came from Adam and Jeff.

She realized then what a golden opportunity she had in front of her. "W-wait! You have to kiss someone… I'm um, selling, um pictures for the um, um…"

"She's selling pictures for the benefit of the club." Charlie said knowing Jackie would take ten minutes to finish a sentence.

"So I gotta kiss someone?" John asked, looking whiter pun intended then they'd ever seen him. As if the thought of getting kissed was terrifying.

"It'll help the club." Matt told him, shrugging nonchalantly.

John exhaled deeply, his shoulders slumped, and Jackie's mood started to deflate at his lack enthusiasm. "A'ight dawg, if it's for the club… If I gotta, I guess I'll kiss Jeff." Jackie was stunned. Hurt and pained even, so much so that when Charlie muttered, "careful, you don't know what he's got," Jackie was too traumatized to scold him.

"Hey, John, you-"

Jeff covered Matt's mouth knowing exactly what he was about to tell John. "I'll do what I must, if it is for the good of the club." Jackie glared at him, as if to tell him 'Die, you evil scum-sucking demon spawn from another hell dimension, for I shall smite you for your evil destruction of my imminent kissage'. He merely smiled sweetly, as if the death glare slid off of his Teflon coated skin.

John swallowed, looking quite similar to the way that Christian had after he got food poisoning from Trish's brownies. He very slowly walked over to Jeff, at the same time that Jackie reluctantly lifted up the camera.

The kiss was short, unsexy, and wholely depressing, at least for both Jackie and John. Jeff just felt cheated.

It was at this moment that Matt finally spoke up. "Uh, John, no one said that you had to kiss a guy, you know."

John immediately proceeded to flip out. "Oh, so that's how it is, huh? You fucking with me, Jeff? You playing games and shit? A'ight, man, I got you."

"I'm not fucking with you at this moment, but if you want I know a couple of broom-" Jeff looked distressed as John walked off. "Call me!" The joke, it seemed, was only funny to him and Adam.

Before Jeff could turn and say anything to Jackie, she poked a finger at Jeff's chest. "Eeevviilll."

"You love me."

"Diiieee."