Chapter Five:
Lanna closed her eyes in frustration as she looked down at her younger brother. He was still the same. Men never grew up. He was sitting--no, _sinking_ was more like it--into a chair just outside the viewing room. It had took some doing, but the hospital agreed to let them view their father because of Leon's being away at his passing. Now they were here, just outside the viewing room and Leon refused to go in.
"Leon, come _on_." she said sternly, holding back more than she usually would have. "They're waiting."
"I...I don't know..." Leon said. He sighed deeply. "...Mom, how did he...what did...when...why..."
"It was his heart." Mrs. Kennedy finished softly. "You know how it had been giving him more trouble recently..."
Lalaine sniffed. "I want to go outside. I hate being here!" Without another word, she leapt up and rushed down the hall. Immediately, Leila rose and followed her.
Lanna took a deep breath and swallowed. "She was there with mom when dad's heart gave out."
Leon's head jerked up so suddenly from his half-crippled pose that Claire jumped a little. "Lalaine was the only one with him?"
"Mom was--"
"Where were all of you?" Leon demanded before Lanna could finish.
Lanna just glared at him. How _dare_ he ask that question! As if they all were off doing selfish things rather than to be with their dad.
"I was at _work_, Leon." she said, rather stiffly. She brushed a thick curl behind her ear. "I was working later than I had intended. It's hard being a counslor."
"Why don't you just tell those kids at the school what my counslor told me? 'Yes, Mr. Kennedy, you're grades are low? Why go to summer school? You could just drop out.' "
"Well, I take my job seriously." Lanna said evenly, not wanting to stir up anything. She took enough of these problems from kids, she didn't need it from her twenty-eight year old brother.
Leon hung his head.
"Are you going to see dad, or not?" Lanna snapped, not being able to stare at the sharp contrast the drab, depressing hospital walls made compared to his red hair.
"Can't you _wait_?!" Leon snapped right back.
At his sharp ejaculation, Lalique stood. "Why do you always need to bully Lanna around?! _You're_ the one that's never here!"
"Laliq--" Lanna began.
"No! Leon's being a _jerk_!" Lalique glared at Claire and spoke as though Leon weren't there. "I hope you know what you're getting into. He's _such_ a _baby_!"
"You know what--" Leon was about to start in on Lalique but Claire squeezed his shoulder firmly.
"Leon." was all she need to say and Leon suddenly looked semi-normal again. The crazed, half-gone look in his eyes vanished and he vaguely resembled someone who had just woken up from a dream. "Leon, they don't mean anything. They're just trying to help."
"Yeah, but--"
"This is hard for them, too." she said gently. "Tearing into each other isn't going to help."
Crestfallen, Leon huffed at her. "Wow." His mouth was closed but he seemed to be massaging his front teeth with his tongue. "You know, I always knew women traveled in packs but I didn't expect you to start hounding me."
With that, he stood up and headed into the doorway.
"Leon--" Mrs. Kennedy called after him.
"I'm going to see my father." Leon shouted over his shoulder.
His reaction was so _like_ him that Lanna looked at her mother and they had a laugh; not a happy one, not even close. Just a laugh that released some of the tension in their bodies. Lanna caught Claire's eye and saw that tears had formed in the girl's eyes.
"What's wrong?" Lanna asked.
"Nothing." Claire replied, wiping away the moisture with her palm. "He's just...never... I've never seen him like this. It doesn't seem...possible."
Lanna sat down next to her. "Don't look as though you've caught Mickey Mouse smoking in the back of Disneyland. Leon...he's... he's a great guy. He's just always been really emotional."
Claire looked little comforted and Lanna just had to smile a little. This girl really seemed to have it bad for her brother... she had no idea why. Leon was... God, what _was_ it about him? He could be sweet and funny and caring but then, sometimes you just wanted to kill him. Most of the time, that was what she and her other sisters felt like doing.
"Don't worry about him, hon." Lanna said, patting Claire's shoulder. "He'll be fine. No matter how far off base they are, Kennedy men always come around."
A minute later, Leon returned; his expression frighteningly blank and he stood in front of them. His eyes were dry but it looked like it was taking some effort for him to keep from falling apart. He didn't speak for what seemed like a long time. Then finally he looked up and gave a slight smile. "So... where to next?"
Mrs. Kennedy looked thoughtful. "We should go to Peaceful Palms to select a coffin. Just to get it out of the way." She added quickly for Leon's benefit as much as her own.
"Okay... let's go." Leon said.
He didn't say anything to Claire, just took his mom's arm and steered her out. "Don't worry, mom. I'll take care of everything. Dad would have wanted me to take care of all the girls."
"Now, Leon... you don't have to..." Their conversation drifted, the two of them leading Lanna, Lalique and Claire down the hall.
"You all right?" Lalique asked Claire.
"Oh, I'm fine." Claire said weakly. "I'm just remembering when my parents died. It... It hurts to see Leon going through the same thing. All of you... feeling the same way I felt."
Lanna smiled. Leon never really had great taste in anything besides guns and action movies, but he seemed to have picked a winner with this Claire-girl. No matter how much the both of them said there was nothing between them.
"Well, I'm glad you came along." Lanna said. "And I'm sure that even though Leon isn't showing it right now, he's glad too."
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The steps were too high, the walls were too narrow, it was a claustrophobic's worst nightmare. Leon felt slightly nauseated as they climbed the sharp steps that led from the mortuary's lobby up to the coffin displays. How strange. A coffin showroom. It seemed unbelievable that they would be looking for a coffin like they would be looking at buying a car. The aura of this place was depressing. A well-dressed woman with a friendly smile and an all too sympathetic voice had accosted them when they first walked in. The offices were small and all seven of them, plus the woman, filed into a room and sat on metal folding chairs. It was here that they spoke about funeral arrangements. Lalique and Lalaine grew restless and fidgeted noisily. Leon couldn't blame them. If he had been fifteen years old, he would have done the same thing. But he wasn't fifteen years old anymore. He was twenty-eight, and like it or not, he'd have to be strong for his sisters and mom. All the girls in the family had to be protected.
As chauvinistic as the thought was, he didn't care. His father had always told him that when he died... Leon wasn't to cry, he was the man of the house now... he was to make sure that his mother didn't allow food serving at the nightly rosaries, that his sisters and mom were okay and that... that his Uncle Ralph didn't try to horn his way in on his mother. Well, actually that was only one of _Leon's_ fears should his dad pass away. Leon groaned at that thought and leaned his elbows on his knees. He was staring at the ground when he felt Claire's hand on his own.
Looking up, he saw Claire smile at him. There was no possible way that she could have known that it wasn't being in the mortuary that was bothering him. At least at the moment. He gave her a nod and looked back down at the ground. The details were planned, the obituiary would be drafted roughly some other day and that was when they were being shuffled through the small stairway that led up to the coffins.
It was amazing to see how many coffins could be put into this small little space. Three coffins lined the walls of the cul-de-sac to the left, coffins for little children were on the right and the rest of the caskets were lining the other walls. There were also three or four down the center of the room. God, this place _reeked_ of depression. One could barely breathe in this place.
"Lanna, I think dad would want that one." Leila suggested facetiously and pointed at the display of an Egyptian sarcophagus placed along the wall, guarding over the phone.
The girls allowed themselves a small giggle all around and even Leon had to smile. Then he headed to his mother's side and listened to what the lady was telling them about the white casket on display. Or at least tried to. He couldn't help feeling disgusted with himself. Why couldn't he have been there? If only he didn't live so far away.
Around this time, the woman was showing them a peach coloured casket with a picture of a meadow on the inside. Leon cleared his throat, "Excuse me."
Everyone was quiet as they looked at him. "Do you think we could see another one? This one looks too...it doesn't look right for my dad."
The woman smiled and nodded. "Of course." She led them to the other wall and Leon started making little notes. _No, that's not right either. It looks like something a hooker would be buried in... that one looks like a friggin' Pepsi can, for God's sake. Where did these people get these things?_
He stopped following them right beside a nicely carved casket with little statuettes of the Pieta inset in the corners.
"That one's nice." He heard Claire say from beside him.
"Yeah. Yeah... it's nice. You know... for a... coffin." Leon replied. "Gosh, look at the handles. The mechanics that they used to install the handles were... it doesn't look slapped on at all, does it?"
Claire shook her head. "No... no it doesn't. Not at all."
In the back of his mind he could have slapped himself for saying that. What the hell was the point of talking about the handles of a casket?
"It's hard, isn't it?" She spoke up, looking uncomfortable.
"Yeah." Leon said. "A little."
Leon didn't know what to do at this point. The two always seemed to have something to talk about... but what do you say at moments like this? When you're in a funeral home looking for something to send your father home in? He had to say something, he felt he had to. To make things seem normal again. To put things in perspective. 'Come on, Leon.' he urged himself. 'Say something! Anything!"
"God, I can't think with you around." Okay.... anything but _that_.
Claire looked a little shocked but she just smiled and nodded in a way that reminded him of the actress Julia Roberts when she was just hit with a bolt from the blue
"Oh. All right then, I--I guess I'll just wait you downstairs? Outside?" she said, backing away before turning around and walking down the stairs, disappearing from sight.
Lanna closed her eyes in frustration as she looked down at her younger brother. He was still the same. Men never grew up. He was sitting--no, _sinking_ was more like it--into a chair just outside the viewing room. It had took some doing, but the hospital agreed to let them view their father because of Leon's being away at his passing. Now they were here, just outside the viewing room and Leon refused to go in.
"Leon, come _on_." she said sternly, holding back more than she usually would have. "They're waiting."
"I...I don't know..." Leon said. He sighed deeply. "...Mom, how did he...what did...when...why..."
"It was his heart." Mrs. Kennedy finished softly. "You know how it had been giving him more trouble recently..."
Lalaine sniffed. "I want to go outside. I hate being here!" Without another word, she leapt up and rushed down the hall. Immediately, Leila rose and followed her.
Lanna took a deep breath and swallowed. "She was there with mom when dad's heart gave out."
Leon's head jerked up so suddenly from his half-crippled pose that Claire jumped a little. "Lalaine was the only one with him?"
"Mom was--"
"Where were all of you?" Leon demanded before Lanna could finish.
Lanna just glared at him. How _dare_ he ask that question! As if they all were off doing selfish things rather than to be with their dad.
"I was at _work_, Leon." she said, rather stiffly. She brushed a thick curl behind her ear. "I was working later than I had intended. It's hard being a counslor."
"Why don't you just tell those kids at the school what my counslor told me? 'Yes, Mr. Kennedy, you're grades are low? Why go to summer school? You could just drop out.' "
"Well, I take my job seriously." Lanna said evenly, not wanting to stir up anything. She took enough of these problems from kids, she didn't need it from her twenty-eight year old brother.
Leon hung his head.
"Are you going to see dad, or not?" Lanna snapped, not being able to stare at the sharp contrast the drab, depressing hospital walls made compared to his red hair.
"Can't you _wait_?!" Leon snapped right back.
At his sharp ejaculation, Lalique stood. "Why do you always need to bully Lanna around?! _You're_ the one that's never here!"
"Laliq--" Lanna began.
"No! Leon's being a _jerk_!" Lalique glared at Claire and spoke as though Leon weren't there. "I hope you know what you're getting into. He's _such_ a _baby_!"
"You know what--" Leon was about to start in on Lalique but Claire squeezed his shoulder firmly.
"Leon." was all she need to say and Leon suddenly looked semi-normal again. The crazed, half-gone look in his eyes vanished and he vaguely resembled someone who had just woken up from a dream. "Leon, they don't mean anything. They're just trying to help."
"Yeah, but--"
"This is hard for them, too." she said gently. "Tearing into each other isn't going to help."
Crestfallen, Leon huffed at her. "Wow." His mouth was closed but he seemed to be massaging his front teeth with his tongue. "You know, I always knew women traveled in packs but I didn't expect you to start hounding me."
With that, he stood up and headed into the doorway.
"Leon--" Mrs. Kennedy called after him.
"I'm going to see my father." Leon shouted over his shoulder.
His reaction was so _like_ him that Lanna looked at her mother and they had a laugh; not a happy one, not even close. Just a laugh that released some of the tension in their bodies. Lanna caught Claire's eye and saw that tears had formed in the girl's eyes.
"What's wrong?" Lanna asked.
"Nothing." Claire replied, wiping away the moisture with her palm. "He's just...never... I've never seen him like this. It doesn't seem...possible."
Lanna sat down next to her. "Don't look as though you've caught Mickey Mouse smoking in the back of Disneyland. Leon...he's... he's a great guy. He's just always been really emotional."
Claire looked little comforted and Lanna just had to smile a little. This girl really seemed to have it bad for her brother... she had no idea why. Leon was... God, what _was_ it about him? He could be sweet and funny and caring but then, sometimes you just wanted to kill him. Most of the time, that was what she and her other sisters felt like doing.
"Don't worry about him, hon." Lanna said, patting Claire's shoulder. "He'll be fine. No matter how far off base they are, Kennedy men always come around."
A minute later, Leon returned; his expression frighteningly blank and he stood in front of them. His eyes were dry but it looked like it was taking some effort for him to keep from falling apart. He didn't speak for what seemed like a long time. Then finally he looked up and gave a slight smile. "So... where to next?"
Mrs. Kennedy looked thoughtful. "We should go to Peaceful Palms to select a coffin. Just to get it out of the way." She added quickly for Leon's benefit as much as her own.
"Okay... let's go." Leon said.
He didn't say anything to Claire, just took his mom's arm and steered her out. "Don't worry, mom. I'll take care of everything. Dad would have wanted me to take care of all the girls."
"Now, Leon... you don't have to..." Their conversation drifted, the two of them leading Lanna, Lalique and Claire down the hall.
"You all right?" Lalique asked Claire.
"Oh, I'm fine." Claire said weakly. "I'm just remembering when my parents died. It... It hurts to see Leon going through the same thing. All of you... feeling the same way I felt."
Lanna smiled. Leon never really had great taste in anything besides guns and action movies, but he seemed to have picked a winner with this Claire-girl. No matter how much the both of them said there was nothing between them.
"Well, I'm glad you came along." Lanna said. "And I'm sure that even though Leon isn't showing it right now, he's glad too."
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The steps were too high, the walls were too narrow, it was a claustrophobic's worst nightmare. Leon felt slightly nauseated as they climbed the sharp steps that led from the mortuary's lobby up to the coffin displays. How strange. A coffin showroom. It seemed unbelievable that they would be looking for a coffin like they would be looking at buying a car. The aura of this place was depressing. A well-dressed woman with a friendly smile and an all too sympathetic voice had accosted them when they first walked in. The offices were small and all seven of them, plus the woman, filed into a room and sat on metal folding chairs. It was here that they spoke about funeral arrangements. Lalique and Lalaine grew restless and fidgeted noisily. Leon couldn't blame them. If he had been fifteen years old, he would have done the same thing. But he wasn't fifteen years old anymore. He was twenty-eight, and like it or not, he'd have to be strong for his sisters and mom. All the girls in the family had to be protected.
As chauvinistic as the thought was, he didn't care. His father had always told him that when he died... Leon wasn't to cry, he was the man of the house now... he was to make sure that his mother didn't allow food serving at the nightly rosaries, that his sisters and mom were okay and that... that his Uncle Ralph didn't try to horn his way in on his mother. Well, actually that was only one of _Leon's_ fears should his dad pass away. Leon groaned at that thought and leaned his elbows on his knees. He was staring at the ground when he felt Claire's hand on his own.
Looking up, he saw Claire smile at him. There was no possible way that she could have known that it wasn't being in the mortuary that was bothering him. At least at the moment. He gave her a nod and looked back down at the ground. The details were planned, the obituiary would be drafted roughly some other day and that was when they were being shuffled through the small stairway that led up to the coffins.
It was amazing to see how many coffins could be put into this small little space. Three coffins lined the walls of the cul-de-sac to the left, coffins for little children were on the right and the rest of the caskets were lining the other walls. There were also three or four down the center of the room. God, this place _reeked_ of depression. One could barely breathe in this place.
"Lanna, I think dad would want that one." Leila suggested facetiously and pointed at the display of an Egyptian sarcophagus placed along the wall, guarding over the phone.
The girls allowed themselves a small giggle all around and even Leon had to smile. Then he headed to his mother's side and listened to what the lady was telling them about the white casket on display. Or at least tried to. He couldn't help feeling disgusted with himself. Why couldn't he have been there? If only he didn't live so far away.
Around this time, the woman was showing them a peach coloured casket with a picture of a meadow on the inside. Leon cleared his throat, "Excuse me."
Everyone was quiet as they looked at him. "Do you think we could see another one? This one looks too...it doesn't look right for my dad."
The woman smiled and nodded. "Of course." She led them to the other wall and Leon started making little notes. _No, that's not right either. It looks like something a hooker would be buried in... that one looks like a friggin' Pepsi can, for God's sake. Where did these people get these things?_
He stopped following them right beside a nicely carved casket with little statuettes of the Pieta inset in the corners.
"That one's nice." He heard Claire say from beside him.
"Yeah. Yeah... it's nice. You know... for a... coffin." Leon replied. "Gosh, look at the handles. The mechanics that they used to install the handles were... it doesn't look slapped on at all, does it?"
Claire shook her head. "No... no it doesn't. Not at all."
In the back of his mind he could have slapped himself for saying that. What the hell was the point of talking about the handles of a casket?
"It's hard, isn't it?" She spoke up, looking uncomfortable.
"Yeah." Leon said. "A little."
Leon didn't know what to do at this point. The two always seemed to have something to talk about... but what do you say at moments like this? When you're in a funeral home looking for something to send your father home in? He had to say something, he felt he had to. To make things seem normal again. To put things in perspective. 'Come on, Leon.' he urged himself. 'Say something! Anything!"
"God, I can't think with you around." Okay.... anything but _that_.
Claire looked a little shocked but she just smiled and nodded in a way that reminded him of the actress Julia Roberts when she was just hit with a bolt from the blue
"Oh. All right then, I--I guess I'll just wait you downstairs? Outside?" she said, backing away before turning around and walking down the stairs, disappearing from sight.