Chapter Nine:
As laughter filtered through the cracks in the wall, Claire sighed contentedly and looked up at the night sky. She was sitting on the porch swing in the backyard-- had been for the past hour-- just thinking. About how she hoped Lettie (the office secretary at Harrison) would be sure to check the fax machine for the lesson plans she had sent out on Leila's computer; about how exhausted she was feeling; and about how wonderful it was not be stuck on that awful middle ground with Leon anymore.
It was Sunday evening, a few days after Uncle Ralph's ill-timed disturbance, and he was doing a little better. The day had been quiet enough, no one quite wanting to do anything, but then again, they didn't want to stay cooped up all day. So the whole family opted for a lunch at the park. They were all in fairly good spirits except Lalaine, who was sour from an apologetic, sobbingly pathetic phone call from Nona just before they left. When Claire had handed Lalaine the telephone, all the girl had done was take the phone and without saying a word, place it by the stereo in the living room. A second later, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool came on. One by one the family fled the living room in an effort to abscond the much-detested music of its youngest member-except for Leon, who shared the same taste in music. The song ended and Lalaine picked up the phone, "Are you still there?" she spat acridly.
A weeping, quivering voice came from the other line. "Laine! How could you? I just want to-"
No one quite got to hear what Nona just wanted to do or say, for Lalaine hung up the phone and placed it back on it's cradle. Wordlessly, she went to the coat closet and pulled out her jacket.
"Well, are we going to the park or what?" she asked before heading out the door. "Not that I want to go to the stupid park or anything but..." she continued her muttering as she stood outside.
Leon smiled at Claire who reached for his hand.
"Let's go everyone! The Kennedy Shuttle will be taking off in about three minutes!" Leon hollered up the stairs. "Move it or lose it, people!"
Everyone poured out of the house, Leon sat in the driver's seat of the Lanna's SUV and waited for everyone to settle in it. Claire let Mrs. Kennedy sit in the front passengers seat and chose to sit in the back with Lanna and Leila who kept her company through the ride.
Now the family was sitting in the living room with a bunch of visiting guests who wanted to check how they were doing before the funeral. Leon kept gravitating back towards Claire and, fearing that she was keeping Leon from entertaining visitors, she left the house to give them some space.
The crickets were chirping vibrantly again tonight, the only sound to comfort her as the light of the moon was eerily absent, hidden behind dark, wispy clouds. Nights like this were awful. They were what got her thinking about Chris the most. When they were kids, their parents would camp out with them in the back yard and Chris would tell her ghost stories by the fire when their parents weren't looking. When she had trouble with schoolwork, Chris would be right there, suffering with English while she trudged through math. Her mother and father were the ones who helped her actually understand her work; Chris had no tolerance for teaching at all. He was kind of like Leon in a way...
Groaning in frustration, Claire stood up from her location on the swing and leaned against the porch post and massaged her temples. It was too hard to do this. The not knowing whether her brother was dead or alive was just too hard to handle. It seemed that now, after the void with Leon had been filled, the place where her brother sat in her heart sucked up all the emptiness.
She didn't know how long she stood on the porch, but it must have been pretty long because she realized it the door opened and Leon stepped out.
"Hey," he greeted tiredly, rubbing his eyes.
"Hi there." She sighed; the corners of her mouth attempted to pull themselves up but it seemed impossible to form even a tiny smile. Leon was about to say something when he looked about him with slight alarm.
"God, you must be freezing out here." He looked down and shrugged off the outer shirt he was wearing over a white tank. "You know, you didn't have to come out here. You could have just stayed inside with us."
Claire finally smiled as he placed his shirt over her shoulders yet she didn't comment except to remark that he should be the one who worried about freezing. Tank shirts are pretty unforgiving when an icy wind sweeps by. Leon told her not to worry about him. She couldn't help it was the reply and he just laughed.
"You're a little distracted." Leon observed after awhile, hugging her close to him.
"Heh. A little?" she mused. "That's an understatement."
"You want to talk about it?" he inquired, looking down at her.
Claire shrugged listlessly. "It's the same old thing. Chris is gone. I don't know when or if he's coming back. I haven't heard from him in almost a year. Right at this moment, Umbrella's thugs could be torturing my brother. Or he could be dead. I don't know, Leon, all these possibilities are coming to my mind and none of them are pretty." Her throat constricted and she had a hell of a time swallowing
"Apparently..." Leon trailed off.
An involuntary shiver exploded inside her and she winced painfully. Leon's arms were around her in an instant and though she was certain she wouldn't have fallen apart if they hadn't been there she was grateful as hell that they were.
"Let's go inside, everyone's pretty much in their rooms trying to get some rest for tomorrow. And Auntie Beth offered to let Lalaine and Lalique stay at her house for the night. Just so they could be with my other girl cousins their age."
Claire simply nodded, not sure what to say. She just followed Leon into the house where they sat on the couch. Feeling guilty for putting such emphasis on her problems, she offered to make them some hot cocoa as coffee would put them on pins and needles the next day (not that they weren't already); Leon agreed and went to fetch extra pillows and blankets; he returned, tripping down the stairs and stumbling into the walls as he tried to maintain his balance after stepping on one of the comforter edges.
"You didn't have to get them all at once." Remarked Claire, a soft smile on her face as she saw Leon struggling to keep his footing.
"Yes, I did, Claire. I'm a guy. Keeping things as complicated as possible and making things harder on myself is in my job description."
Rolling her eyes, Claire laughed. Leon's eyes were bright and alert, something that she wasn't quite expecting since the funeral was the next day. Or maybe he was finally adjusting to his dad being gone. Not everything that hurts deep down kills you, she had lived through enough to know that. She was feeling better because of Leon's good mood and decided to just go with it. It didn't make sense to fret over anything right now.
Claire's stomach growled loudly as if in agreement to that thought and she looked at Leon. "Are you hungry?"
"Starving." He replied with a grin.
Wrinkling her nose, "Now Leon, as a teacher, I must correct you. The proper way to express your hunger is, 'I am famished', because you are not, as you say, 'starving' for you aren't wasting away from malnutrition."
A blank stare, devoid of any sign of comprehension was all she received before Leon threw the pillow he was holding at her.
"Aah! Hey!" she grabbed the pillow and hurled it back at him. "Jerk!"
"Oof. How childish to resort to name-calling." Leon exclaimed, chasing after her with the pillow.
A fit of giggles broke out as Claire ran from him, dodging behind the kitchen's island bar and jumping over the couch in an attempt to escaping his pillow-pummeling mission. It came to an end (sort of) when the kettle on the stove whistled shrilly and Claire, breathless and clutching her stomach, held up her hands.
"Truce." She pleaded, a stitch in her side making her double over.
"Alright, truce." Leon said. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." She replied, straightening up.
"Good." He told her, sending the pillow across her bum once more.
"Leon! Didn't we just establish a truce?"
Leon grew serious. "God, you're right. I'm sorry."
"You're forgiven." She said, and then she slapped his shoulder and quickly crossed her fingers. "And you also have cooties!"
She laughed merrily as Leon grew red and pouted. "Great. I haven't had that since the third grade. It's a frickin' epidemic." But he smiled and got Claire the hot cocoa mix from the pantry. They made a steaming kettle full of hot cocoa, which they set beside the mountain of pillows and blankets, along with a hodge-podge of sandwiches, cereal and other food you get simply by reaching into your fridge.
"Camping in, carpet picnics, this is the life, huh?" Leon mused as he shoved a sandwich down his throat.
"You said it." Replied Claire, gulping down some hot chocolate.
Conversation didn't resume for a while after that last comment until they were both too stuffed to eat anymore. Leon let out a loud burp and Claire shook her head, "That was attractive."
"Thanks." He said. Just then, Claire let out a belch that rivaled his own. "You're beauty is beyond comparison, my lady."
Claire's response was to kick at his leg and rise to standing. She gathered all the plates and bowls and Leon followed suit. Once everything was cleared away, they returned to their little camping ground and lounged around for the next few hours. In the past, when she was just a teenager, Claire used to stay up all night long with her brother. When they stayed home, they talked about their social lives and any problems that they were facing. When they went out to eat they discussed music, movies and other pop culture. And when they were just plain bored and delirious with monotony, they took a quick trip to the closest Wally Mart and laughed their heads off in the Martha Stewart and book aisles. They would stay until almost three in the morning, the loudest people in Wal-mart, exclaiming over a remarkable chair or kick-ass stereo. This would continue until the manager came to explain about their policy of not allowing people under the influence to remain on store premises. She and Chris practically had to do a Breathalyzer test to prove they were completely sobre and weren't high on anything.
"Do you think we'll have to become sleeping pill junkies to ever get a good night's sleep again?" Leon inquired, once again, bringing her back into the present.
"Well, I don't doubt it." Claire remarked, yawning. "Are you tired?"
Leon let out a yawn also. "Not really. You?"
"Nope." She replied quickly. "I could go on like this for days."
"Me too. I'm not sleepy." Leon sighed. "Just a little crazed."
"How so?" yawned Claire.
"Just those pesky 'what if' questions." He replied. "You know how they always creep up when you need them the least."
"Uh-huh?"
"Well, I think that now."
Claire nodded, "Like, what if something happened to your mom or sisters?"
"Yeah, like that." He replied then added, "But I also think of really weird stuff too, complicated things."
"Complicated?"
"Yeah. Like, I know you don't like to bring up the past," he warned. "But what if, just what if I had never been assigned to Raccoon that night-"
Claire groaned, "Leon-"
"No, really." He insisted, leaning forward. "Just, what if? Can you even imagine that?"
After a moment of hesitation, Claire gave in. "I wouldn't be alive to day to be imagining it."
"And what if I had gone to Raccoon and you hadn't? What if you had waited one or two days or never came at all? The slightest change in plans for either of us and we wouldn't know each other today."
Claire forced a laugh, "Leon, you're thinking way too hard."
"Laugh if you want but you've felt this way too, haven't you?" Taking her silence as agreement, Leon continued, "it's stupid, I know, but I don't even want to know how things would be if we had never met." He looked around, "I mean would we have been here, in the living room, sitting on a bunch of pillows and blankets? Would we have just eaten all that stuff in the refrigerator? Would we be talking right now?"
His deep, insightful tone stole Claire's breath away. She'd never heard him sound so serious. This whole trip had revealed Leon's serious side, a side she'd never known existed. It also brought rise to a whole bunch of new feelings inside. Just what if? What if, what if, what if...
"It scares me to admit this," Leon continued, he took hold of her hand. "But I really wouldn't know what to do if you weren't here. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you in it, even when we were only...I guess, only friends before. You're a big part of my life, Claire."
Claire smiled. "And what if it hadn't stayed that way? If Chris had taken me along with him to Europe or I went to college across country?" She gripped his hand tighter. "Life sure is funny."
After a warm, fuzzy moment in which Claire could actually feel the intensity, Leon leaned over and nuzzled her neck with his lips. The simple action sent shivers down Claire's spine and her eyes closed slightly just so everything blurred. Leon clenched both of her hands in his and pushed her against the pillows. As if on second thought, he stood up and went to the glass sliding door to pull the shades shut. He returned to her and kissed her with urgency, his tongue playing around her lips. Claire pulled her mouth away and placed her attention on Leon's neck and collarbone, her hands grasped eagerly at his back; the tension in his muscles heightened with every touch she gave and she felt her own body tense up as Leon slipped his hand under her tee-shirt.
She sat up again and took off the Leon's outside shirt and tossed it aside. In a rush, she practically ripped off the buttons of her blouse before grabbing hold of Leon and flipping him over so that she was mounted on top of him. Leaning down, she kissed him and she felt his hand in her hair, pulling her ponytail out and she leapt away from him.
"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed, giggling breathlessly. "You've seen me with my hair down plenty of times."
"Not like this." Leon complained softly, his eyes full of longing and his breathing just as short as hers. "You're different tonight."
A slow smile spread over her face, starting first on her lips before brightening her face and lighting up her eyes. With a playful toss of her head, she let her long brown hair fall softly to below her shoulders. A fiery look entered Leon's eyes; a look so full of desire and hunger that it frightened her for a moment. But then the same passion that seemed to possess him for those few seconds seemed to flood her and she grasped his hair and forced her lips on his.
For five blind minutes, they allowed their passion to build; the craze of the four years past were unleashed and the blur of hands and press of muscles together nearly drove them over the edge. Claire cried out as Leon nibbled on her ear.
"Leon," she moaned feverishly. "Oh God, I..."
A grin spread over Leon's face as he lightly kissed the tip of her nose. "See? Cooties aren't so bad."
Laying her back down, he massaged her body and kissed her face. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been numb for the past few years." She mumbled gently. "You?"
"The same. You're bringing me to life." He whispered. "I don't know how you're doing it, but you are."
Nearly crumpling at these words, Claire pressed herself against Leon's pounding chest and reveled at the feel of his heart beating against hers. The world was quiet except for their heavy breathing, making it seem as if they were the only two people in the entire world. But somewhere in this hot, solitary dimension they had formed, pieces of the real world broke through. Pain. Crying.
"Leon," she groaned with concern. "Leon, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" he asked.
"Someone's crying." She told him, sitting up, hair in disarray.
Leon swallowed a few times before his eyes widened. "My mom..." he said, quickly standing up. It took a few moments for her heart to stop racing and the tight pressure between her legs to recede but eventually Claire straightened her blouse and swept her hair back into its ponytail before heading to the bottom of the stairwell. Peering upstairs, she saw Leon standing in the doorframe of his mother's room, talking quietly with his mom, who was lying in a crumpled heap on the bed. Tip toeing up to the first landing, she sat on the floor and pressed her back against the banister. Little pieces of the soft conversation drifted down the steps and she couldn't help but listen in.
"I'm sorry for being this way...I just miss your father so much sometimes." Mrs. Kennedy told her son.
Leon's voice was a little harder to hear. "Mom...don't... it's alright to feel that way. It's hard on all of us..."
"I know but I didn't want to make this harder on you kids."
Leon stood at the door for a long time, he never went any further than the frame, as if he were afraid he'd break down if he entered the room. Claire pulled her knees up to her chin and laid her head down. She hadn't meant to go to sleep there but she must have drifted off because a while later, Leon was gently shaking her shoulder and she awoke to find she had curled up into a fetal position on the ground.
"Sorry, I didn't realize how long I was up there."
"That's all right." She replied. "What about your mom, is she alright?"
Nodding, Leon leaned back on his hand and pulled himself up. He offered his other hand to her and Claire was sharply reminded of the very first time she had met him... just what if... She accepted his hand and leapt up and gazed at him awkwardly.
"Well..."
"Um..." Leon scratched the back of his head. "Why don't you go get some sleep? There's a big day tomorrow."
"This isn't summer camp, Leon." She remarked.
"I know." He told her. "I'm just...tired."
"Tired?"
"Yeah. Um, I'm just going to sleep...down here." His tone was slightly disappointed but he forced it out anyway.
Claire took his arm and hugged him. "I could stay down here with you." She offered.
"Nah, it wouldn't be too comfortable." He said.
"Oh, alright." She said and turned to go upstairs. She reached the top step before she shook her head and turned around. "Leon," she called from the landing.
Leon had settled himself on the pillows when he turned around.
"It's lonely up there." She aside.
Leon smiled and scooted over as Claire headed toward him and lay beside him on the ground. They didn't pick up where they left off but it wasn't too much of a disappointment. The few hours of night that they had left for them were spent in each other's arms. The brief sleep that came to them would give them the much needed fortitude for the next day.
As laughter filtered through the cracks in the wall, Claire sighed contentedly and looked up at the night sky. She was sitting on the porch swing in the backyard-- had been for the past hour-- just thinking. About how she hoped Lettie (the office secretary at Harrison) would be sure to check the fax machine for the lesson plans she had sent out on Leila's computer; about how exhausted she was feeling; and about how wonderful it was not be stuck on that awful middle ground with Leon anymore.
It was Sunday evening, a few days after Uncle Ralph's ill-timed disturbance, and he was doing a little better. The day had been quiet enough, no one quite wanting to do anything, but then again, they didn't want to stay cooped up all day. So the whole family opted for a lunch at the park. They were all in fairly good spirits except Lalaine, who was sour from an apologetic, sobbingly pathetic phone call from Nona just before they left. When Claire had handed Lalaine the telephone, all the girl had done was take the phone and without saying a word, place it by the stereo in the living room. A second later, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool came on. One by one the family fled the living room in an effort to abscond the much-detested music of its youngest member-except for Leon, who shared the same taste in music. The song ended and Lalaine picked up the phone, "Are you still there?" she spat acridly.
A weeping, quivering voice came from the other line. "Laine! How could you? I just want to-"
No one quite got to hear what Nona just wanted to do or say, for Lalaine hung up the phone and placed it back on it's cradle. Wordlessly, she went to the coat closet and pulled out her jacket.
"Well, are we going to the park or what?" she asked before heading out the door. "Not that I want to go to the stupid park or anything but..." she continued her muttering as she stood outside.
Leon smiled at Claire who reached for his hand.
"Let's go everyone! The Kennedy Shuttle will be taking off in about three minutes!" Leon hollered up the stairs. "Move it or lose it, people!"
Everyone poured out of the house, Leon sat in the driver's seat of the Lanna's SUV and waited for everyone to settle in it. Claire let Mrs. Kennedy sit in the front passengers seat and chose to sit in the back with Lanna and Leila who kept her company through the ride.
Now the family was sitting in the living room with a bunch of visiting guests who wanted to check how they were doing before the funeral. Leon kept gravitating back towards Claire and, fearing that she was keeping Leon from entertaining visitors, she left the house to give them some space.
The crickets were chirping vibrantly again tonight, the only sound to comfort her as the light of the moon was eerily absent, hidden behind dark, wispy clouds. Nights like this were awful. They were what got her thinking about Chris the most. When they were kids, their parents would camp out with them in the back yard and Chris would tell her ghost stories by the fire when their parents weren't looking. When she had trouble with schoolwork, Chris would be right there, suffering with English while she trudged through math. Her mother and father were the ones who helped her actually understand her work; Chris had no tolerance for teaching at all. He was kind of like Leon in a way...
Groaning in frustration, Claire stood up from her location on the swing and leaned against the porch post and massaged her temples. It was too hard to do this. The not knowing whether her brother was dead or alive was just too hard to handle. It seemed that now, after the void with Leon had been filled, the place where her brother sat in her heart sucked up all the emptiness.
She didn't know how long she stood on the porch, but it must have been pretty long because she realized it the door opened and Leon stepped out.
"Hey," he greeted tiredly, rubbing his eyes.
"Hi there." She sighed; the corners of her mouth attempted to pull themselves up but it seemed impossible to form even a tiny smile. Leon was about to say something when he looked about him with slight alarm.
"God, you must be freezing out here." He looked down and shrugged off the outer shirt he was wearing over a white tank. "You know, you didn't have to come out here. You could have just stayed inside with us."
Claire finally smiled as he placed his shirt over her shoulders yet she didn't comment except to remark that he should be the one who worried about freezing. Tank shirts are pretty unforgiving when an icy wind sweeps by. Leon told her not to worry about him. She couldn't help it was the reply and he just laughed.
"You're a little distracted." Leon observed after awhile, hugging her close to him.
"Heh. A little?" she mused. "That's an understatement."
"You want to talk about it?" he inquired, looking down at her.
Claire shrugged listlessly. "It's the same old thing. Chris is gone. I don't know when or if he's coming back. I haven't heard from him in almost a year. Right at this moment, Umbrella's thugs could be torturing my brother. Or he could be dead. I don't know, Leon, all these possibilities are coming to my mind and none of them are pretty." Her throat constricted and she had a hell of a time swallowing
"Apparently..." Leon trailed off.
An involuntary shiver exploded inside her and she winced painfully. Leon's arms were around her in an instant and though she was certain she wouldn't have fallen apart if they hadn't been there she was grateful as hell that they were.
"Let's go inside, everyone's pretty much in their rooms trying to get some rest for tomorrow. And Auntie Beth offered to let Lalaine and Lalique stay at her house for the night. Just so they could be with my other girl cousins their age."
Claire simply nodded, not sure what to say. She just followed Leon into the house where they sat on the couch. Feeling guilty for putting such emphasis on her problems, she offered to make them some hot cocoa as coffee would put them on pins and needles the next day (not that they weren't already); Leon agreed and went to fetch extra pillows and blankets; he returned, tripping down the stairs and stumbling into the walls as he tried to maintain his balance after stepping on one of the comforter edges.
"You didn't have to get them all at once." Remarked Claire, a soft smile on her face as she saw Leon struggling to keep his footing.
"Yes, I did, Claire. I'm a guy. Keeping things as complicated as possible and making things harder on myself is in my job description."
Rolling her eyes, Claire laughed. Leon's eyes were bright and alert, something that she wasn't quite expecting since the funeral was the next day. Or maybe he was finally adjusting to his dad being gone. Not everything that hurts deep down kills you, she had lived through enough to know that. She was feeling better because of Leon's good mood and decided to just go with it. It didn't make sense to fret over anything right now.
Claire's stomach growled loudly as if in agreement to that thought and she looked at Leon. "Are you hungry?"
"Starving." He replied with a grin.
Wrinkling her nose, "Now Leon, as a teacher, I must correct you. The proper way to express your hunger is, 'I am famished', because you are not, as you say, 'starving' for you aren't wasting away from malnutrition."
A blank stare, devoid of any sign of comprehension was all she received before Leon threw the pillow he was holding at her.
"Aah! Hey!" she grabbed the pillow and hurled it back at him. "Jerk!"
"Oof. How childish to resort to name-calling." Leon exclaimed, chasing after her with the pillow.
A fit of giggles broke out as Claire ran from him, dodging behind the kitchen's island bar and jumping over the couch in an attempt to escaping his pillow-pummeling mission. It came to an end (sort of) when the kettle on the stove whistled shrilly and Claire, breathless and clutching her stomach, held up her hands.
"Truce." She pleaded, a stitch in her side making her double over.
"Alright, truce." Leon said. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." She replied, straightening up.
"Good." He told her, sending the pillow across her bum once more.
"Leon! Didn't we just establish a truce?"
Leon grew serious. "God, you're right. I'm sorry."
"You're forgiven." She said, and then she slapped his shoulder and quickly crossed her fingers. "And you also have cooties!"
She laughed merrily as Leon grew red and pouted. "Great. I haven't had that since the third grade. It's a frickin' epidemic." But he smiled and got Claire the hot cocoa mix from the pantry. They made a steaming kettle full of hot cocoa, which they set beside the mountain of pillows and blankets, along with a hodge-podge of sandwiches, cereal and other food you get simply by reaching into your fridge.
"Camping in, carpet picnics, this is the life, huh?" Leon mused as he shoved a sandwich down his throat.
"You said it." Replied Claire, gulping down some hot chocolate.
Conversation didn't resume for a while after that last comment until they were both too stuffed to eat anymore. Leon let out a loud burp and Claire shook her head, "That was attractive."
"Thanks." He said. Just then, Claire let out a belch that rivaled his own. "You're beauty is beyond comparison, my lady."
Claire's response was to kick at his leg and rise to standing. She gathered all the plates and bowls and Leon followed suit. Once everything was cleared away, they returned to their little camping ground and lounged around for the next few hours. In the past, when she was just a teenager, Claire used to stay up all night long with her brother. When they stayed home, they talked about their social lives and any problems that they were facing. When they went out to eat they discussed music, movies and other pop culture. And when they were just plain bored and delirious with monotony, they took a quick trip to the closest Wally Mart and laughed their heads off in the Martha Stewart and book aisles. They would stay until almost three in the morning, the loudest people in Wal-mart, exclaiming over a remarkable chair or kick-ass stereo. This would continue until the manager came to explain about their policy of not allowing people under the influence to remain on store premises. She and Chris practically had to do a Breathalyzer test to prove they were completely sobre and weren't high on anything.
"Do you think we'll have to become sleeping pill junkies to ever get a good night's sleep again?" Leon inquired, once again, bringing her back into the present.
"Well, I don't doubt it." Claire remarked, yawning. "Are you tired?"
Leon let out a yawn also. "Not really. You?"
"Nope." She replied quickly. "I could go on like this for days."
"Me too. I'm not sleepy." Leon sighed. "Just a little crazed."
"How so?" yawned Claire.
"Just those pesky 'what if' questions." He replied. "You know how they always creep up when you need them the least."
"Uh-huh?"
"Well, I think that now."
Claire nodded, "Like, what if something happened to your mom or sisters?"
"Yeah, like that." He replied then added, "But I also think of really weird stuff too, complicated things."
"Complicated?"
"Yeah. Like, I know you don't like to bring up the past," he warned. "But what if, just what if I had never been assigned to Raccoon that night-"
Claire groaned, "Leon-"
"No, really." He insisted, leaning forward. "Just, what if? Can you even imagine that?"
After a moment of hesitation, Claire gave in. "I wouldn't be alive to day to be imagining it."
"And what if I had gone to Raccoon and you hadn't? What if you had waited one or two days or never came at all? The slightest change in plans for either of us and we wouldn't know each other today."
Claire forced a laugh, "Leon, you're thinking way too hard."
"Laugh if you want but you've felt this way too, haven't you?" Taking her silence as agreement, Leon continued, "it's stupid, I know, but I don't even want to know how things would be if we had never met." He looked around, "I mean would we have been here, in the living room, sitting on a bunch of pillows and blankets? Would we have just eaten all that stuff in the refrigerator? Would we be talking right now?"
His deep, insightful tone stole Claire's breath away. She'd never heard him sound so serious. This whole trip had revealed Leon's serious side, a side she'd never known existed. It also brought rise to a whole bunch of new feelings inside. Just what if? What if, what if, what if...
"It scares me to admit this," Leon continued, he took hold of her hand. "But I really wouldn't know what to do if you weren't here. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you in it, even when we were only...I guess, only friends before. You're a big part of my life, Claire."
Claire smiled. "And what if it hadn't stayed that way? If Chris had taken me along with him to Europe or I went to college across country?" She gripped his hand tighter. "Life sure is funny."
After a warm, fuzzy moment in which Claire could actually feel the intensity, Leon leaned over and nuzzled her neck with his lips. The simple action sent shivers down Claire's spine and her eyes closed slightly just so everything blurred. Leon clenched both of her hands in his and pushed her against the pillows. As if on second thought, he stood up and went to the glass sliding door to pull the shades shut. He returned to her and kissed her with urgency, his tongue playing around her lips. Claire pulled her mouth away and placed her attention on Leon's neck and collarbone, her hands grasped eagerly at his back; the tension in his muscles heightened with every touch she gave and she felt her own body tense up as Leon slipped his hand under her tee-shirt.
She sat up again and took off the Leon's outside shirt and tossed it aside. In a rush, she practically ripped off the buttons of her blouse before grabbing hold of Leon and flipping him over so that she was mounted on top of him. Leaning down, she kissed him and she felt his hand in her hair, pulling her ponytail out and she leapt away from him.
"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed, giggling breathlessly. "You've seen me with my hair down plenty of times."
"Not like this." Leon complained softly, his eyes full of longing and his breathing just as short as hers. "You're different tonight."
A slow smile spread over her face, starting first on her lips before brightening her face and lighting up her eyes. With a playful toss of her head, she let her long brown hair fall softly to below her shoulders. A fiery look entered Leon's eyes; a look so full of desire and hunger that it frightened her for a moment. But then the same passion that seemed to possess him for those few seconds seemed to flood her and she grasped his hair and forced her lips on his.
For five blind minutes, they allowed their passion to build; the craze of the four years past were unleashed and the blur of hands and press of muscles together nearly drove them over the edge. Claire cried out as Leon nibbled on her ear.
"Leon," she moaned feverishly. "Oh God, I..."
A grin spread over Leon's face as he lightly kissed the tip of her nose. "See? Cooties aren't so bad."
Laying her back down, he massaged her body and kissed her face. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been numb for the past few years." She mumbled gently. "You?"
"The same. You're bringing me to life." He whispered. "I don't know how you're doing it, but you are."
Nearly crumpling at these words, Claire pressed herself against Leon's pounding chest and reveled at the feel of his heart beating against hers. The world was quiet except for their heavy breathing, making it seem as if they were the only two people in the entire world. But somewhere in this hot, solitary dimension they had formed, pieces of the real world broke through. Pain. Crying.
"Leon," she groaned with concern. "Leon, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" he asked.
"Someone's crying." She told him, sitting up, hair in disarray.
Leon swallowed a few times before his eyes widened. "My mom..." he said, quickly standing up. It took a few moments for her heart to stop racing and the tight pressure between her legs to recede but eventually Claire straightened her blouse and swept her hair back into its ponytail before heading to the bottom of the stairwell. Peering upstairs, she saw Leon standing in the doorframe of his mother's room, talking quietly with his mom, who was lying in a crumpled heap on the bed. Tip toeing up to the first landing, she sat on the floor and pressed her back against the banister. Little pieces of the soft conversation drifted down the steps and she couldn't help but listen in.
"I'm sorry for being this way...I just miss your father so much sometimes." Mrs. Kennedy told her son.
Leon's voice was a little harder to hear. "Mom...don't... it's alright to feel that way. It's hard on all of us..."
"I know but I didn't want to make this harder on you kids."
Leon stood at the door for a long time, he never went any further than the frame, as if he were afraid he'd break down if he entered the room. Claire pulled her knees up to her chin and laid her head down. She hadn't meant to go to sleep there but she must have drifted off because a while later, Leon was gently shaking her shoulder and she awoke to find she had curled up into a fetal position on the ground.
"Sorry, I didn't realize how long I was up there."
"That's all right." She replied. "What about your mom, is she alright?"
Nodding, Leon leaned back on his hand and pulled himself up. He offered his other hand to her and Claire was sharply reminded of the very first time she had met him... just what if... She accepted his hand and leapt up and gazed at him awkwardly.
"Well..."
"Um..." Leon scratched the back of his head. "Why don't you go get some sleep? There's a big day tomorrow."
"This isn't summer camp, Leon." She remarked.
"I know." He told her. "I'm just...tired."
"Tired?"
"Yeah. Um, I'm just going to sleep...down here." His tone was slightly disappointed but he forced it out anyway.
Claire took his arm and hugged him. "I could stay down here with you." She offered.
"Nah, it wouldn't be too comfortable." He said.
"Oh, alright." She said and turned to go upstairs. She reached the top step before she shook her head and turned around. "Leon," she called from the landing.
Leon had settled himself on the pillows when he turned around.
"It's lonely up there." She aside.
Leon smiled and scooted over as Claire headed toward him and lay beside him on the ground. They didn't pick up where they left off but it wasn't too much of a disappointment. The few hours of night that they had left for them were spent in each other's arms. The brief sleep that came to them would give them the much needed fortitude for the next day.