Disclaimer: Don't own anything but my own ideas...
Wrongful Vanity: Spoke to soon :) And thanks so much for reading all of my stories!
Ravens-Despair: While I appreciate that you enjoy the story and are willing to read it even though it's slash, I feel as though your comments were a bit rude. You have every right not to read/not read a story that, apparently, literally made you throw up, but I don't appreciate hearing about it. Yes they always have to "do" it. They are a main pairing in the story, that's just how the story goes. You don't have to read it if it creeps you out, and I'm sorry that it did.
Poopy Penguin: Sorry, love! Not much into Slade/Robin here either... As I said before, Robin decided to go a little crazy instead XD
xxxHolicxyuuko: You're so sweet :D, thank you so much!
al al: Thank you for such wonderful comments! Another author I can recommend is teno-hikari, and also at my lj Teen-Titan Slash community (the link is in my profile :D )
Hybridbabe: Reading reviews like yours make my day :) I hope you do become a slash fan (come to the dark side!). And the biggest compliment I can recieve is that everyone's in character :)
Danitha: Thank you so much! And yes, I too love Terra. One of my favorite characters, indeed :)
Emerald Star: Only a bit of Slade/Robin action here, but all for you :D
Everyone Else: Thanks so much for reading and leaving such wonderful reviews!
Notes: Haha! I win! I finally got this chapter out :D I know I know. I said lots of Slade/Robin action, but Robin decided to freak out instead ; Also, I figure that the main area of Slade's base is his little lair, but, as he does appear to live there, I assume that yes, there is a kitchen. That's random, but I don't want anyone yelling at me saying "omg! therez no kitchen!"
Everyone read the Prequel to this, "The Rain Goes On" for this to make more sense :)
Rectitude
Chapter Three
"You didn't kill him." Robin tensed at the voice in his ear, his hands freezing mid-pull as he yanked off his utility belt. He hadn't heard Slade enter the room. Taking a breath to regain his composure, Robin dropped the belt to the floor and turned around to face his master.
"I wasn't through with him yet," he said flatly. Slade cocked his head to the side and watched Robin for a moment. Stepping back, he circled the boy slowly, giving him an appraising glance.
"And when will you be through with him?" Slade halted behind Robin's back and slipped his arms around the Boy Wonder's waist, pulling the smaller figure flush against his chest. "He's the one that hurt you, is he not?"
"Yes," Robin muttered, eyes fixated on a strange shadow that descended across the floor.
"So why didn't you just kill him? Give him what he deserved?" Robin heard a soft clink that echoed in the silence. Warm breaths of air suddenly danced along his neck.
"Why didn't you just kill me when I was Red X?" Robin replied after a moment. He knew the answer, but he was desperate for something to say.
"Because, my little bird…." Slade pressed an uncharacteristically tender kiss to Robin's neck. "I wasn't through with you yet. I knew that one day…" He removed his gloves and dropped them to the floor, hand coming up to caress Robin's face. "One day soon… you'd be mine."
Robin gasped when Slade's mouth covered the overly sensitive part of his ear. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the solid figure holding him up.
"But that's not the reason you didn't kill him, is it?" Slade's voice held authority and a tone that specifically told Robin that it had better not be the reason.
"N-no…" Robin whimpered as his uniform was gently peeled away. He hated feeling so vulnerable.
At the same time, he craved it.
"Then why?"
"I…" Slade silenced Robin with a heated kiss, fingers pulling Robin's face towards his own. When he pulled away from the boy, he led Robin to the bed and laid the Boy Wonder down.
"Think about your answer, my pretty little bird… we wouldn't want it to get you in trouble, now would we?"
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"So why didn't you kill him?" Robin jumped at the voice and nearly dropped the glass of milk he held in his hands. Terra cocked her head to the side and propped herself up against the opposite countertop.
"And why are you so jumpy?" she wondered, reaching over to grab a cookie from the plate next to her. She'd made them the night before in her anger with Slade and Robin. Cooking always made her feel better. She looked up when she received no answer from Robin, and found the boy staring intently into his cup.
"Looking for an answer in there? Because I hate to be the one to break it to you, but all you're going to find is white liquidy stuff," Terra said lightly, nibbling on the cookie. Robin made no sign that he'd heard her. Sighing, Terra folded her arms across her chest.
"So do you love him?" she asked simply. Robin's eyes widened and the glass fell from his grip.
"No! I hate him!" he shouted. Terra raised an eyebrow.
"I was talking about Slade," she replied, although she really hadn't been. Robin looked sheepish, something that Terra didn't see often, and grabbed a paper towel to wipe up the spilt milk.
"So I'm gonna ask again. Why didn't you kill him?" Terra got her own rag and walked over to the Boy Wonder, bending down to help clean. Robin looked up in surprise, confused as to why Terra was being so kind to him.
"I…" He averted his gaze and shrugged. "I didn't want to get my boomerang dirty, alright?" he hissed, throwing his towel into the garbage with a little more force than necessary. Terra sat back on her haunches and gave him a skeptical look.
"You mean the same boomerang you cared so much about that you left it behind?" Terra's eyes widened as soon as the words left her mouth, and she was thankful that Robin was being too moody to have picked up on the fact that she shouldn't have known he'd forgotten it. The only reason she'd figured it out was because, during a brief stop by Titan Tower to inform Raven of what exactly Slade had stolen, she'd seen Speedy mindlessly fingering the weapon. Terra sat with Robin in silence for a moment, before standing and looking down at him.
"You should have a cookie or something. You look like your insides are getting sucked in by an internal black hole," she said conversationally, noticing Robin's gaunt appearance. When Robin looked at her in bemusement, she simply smiled and left the kitchen.
Sometimes it was nice just talking to Robin with no hidden agenda or visible animosity. It made her feel more normal. And though the Boy Wonder would be loathed to admit it, Terra could tell by the relaxation of Robin's shoulders and the way he'd let her see him in a moment of weakness, that he felt the same.
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Speedy frowned and ran his thumb over the sharp blade of the boomerang, brow furrowed in bewilderment.
He didn't kill me. The thought continuously echoed throughout his mind, each time coming back to haunt him with full force as soon as the last sound faded away.
Why didn't he kill me? He could have…He cou-
"Friend Speedy?" The archer looked up at the voice and smiled slightly at Starfire, gently placing the boomerang on the kitchen table in front of him.
"Yeah, Star?"
The Tamaranian beamed at the acknowledgment and floated her way to the chair across from him, sitting down quietly. She was silent for a long moment, before her gaze rose and she was suddenly staring at Speedy intently, as if searching for something.
"You have the insomnia?" she asked curiously. Speedy raised an eyebrow at her before he caught sight of the digital clock on the microwave and grimaced. Two-thirty in the morning. How long had he been sitting there? Sighing, he picked up the boomerang again, eyes widening when a smaller pair of hands rested upon his own.
"We will get him back," Starfire said softly, yet with so much conviction in her tone. "We will get him back."
Speedy nodded, not sure that he believed her as much as he wanted to.
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Robin smiled as he buried his face into the warm shoulder in front of him, swaying gently to the music that surrounded them, the arms encircling his waist making him feel safe and wanted. Something he hadn't felt in a while.
"I love you," a soft voice whispered in his ear, and Robin nodded, voicing his return of the phrase with a tender tightening of his arms around his partner.
"You're mine." The voice suddenly wasn't so soft anymore, and the grip on his waist felt anything but safe.
"L-let go," he mumbled, struggling to break free of the grasp he was in, noticing with a sickening fear that the shoulder his head had been on was now icy and harsh.
"Now, now, my pretty little bird…"
"Let. Me. Go!" Robin shouted, using all of his force to push away from his tormenter. And then suddenly he was falling. Falling fast and hard and his voice tried to scream but no sound came out. No matter how far he fell, however, the surface remained the same distance away from him. If he just reached a bit higher…
Two separate hands reached out for him, each wanting to be his savior. The first was long and slender, a soft white glow surrounding it warmly. The second was large and thick, a metallic glove hiding its true appearance, the black aura encircling it seductive.
Time seemed to stop as he stared at his two choices. Whichever one he decided on would be the one he would return to. The one he would stay with. The one he needed. Somewhere deep inside he knew he that he resented both in some way, but the reasons for his hostility were unclear to him.
And then he was falling again. This time, however, the surface was slowly fading away and his survival was ascending farther and farther out of reach. He had to pick. He had to pick now.
Eyes shutting tightly, he reached out blindly, grabbing hold of the hand his gut had told him to.
And then he woke up.
Robin scrambled into a sitting position, panting as he ran his fingers shakily through his hair, eyes darting rapidly around the silent room. Clutching his blanket to his chest, he struggled to regain his breath and carefully stepped onto the cold cement floor of his bedroom. Reaching unsteadily behind him, he grabbed the oversized white t-shirt he'd worn before bed and slipped it on over his body. Silently, he made his way to the mirror that sat against the wall across from him, stopping just in front of the reflective surface.
The face that looked back at him was hollow and skeletal and he wondered when the last time he'd actually eaten had been. The only thing that seemed alive in his appearance was the black hair that had grown long enough to shade his eyes when he wanted - a shadow that forever existed over him. With a frown, Robin ran his fingers over the large bruise that spanned the side of his face. Matching marks, he knew, could be seen covering his stomach if he chose to lift up his shirt.
What were the Titans doing at that moment?
The strange thought caught him unaware and he tensed, wondering where the question had come from.
Were they even missing him?
Taking a step back, Robin suddenly felt cold. The room was starting to spin.
Why weren't they trying to find him?
Falling to his knees, Robin clenched his head with his fists, struggling to block out the rogue thoughts.
Why weren't they trying to bring him home?
"Stop.." he grit out through clenched teeth, nails digging into his scalp.
Why weren't they trying to save him?
All at once Robin was on his feet, fist flying straight through the glass of the mirror. As if in slow motion, thousands of tiny pieces floated to the ground, Robin catching his reflection in each and every one of them. Closing his eyes, Robin ignored the stinging sensation his hand felt and tried to regain his breath, listening for anymore of that weak voice in his head. That's what it was. It was weak. Weak for needing anyone but himself. For needing the Titans. For needing saving.
He didn't need saving.
Somehow, he didn't feel as reassured as he wanted when all he was met with was silence. Growling, Robin grabbed a random set of civilian clothing that littered the floor, keeping his eyes adverted from the mirror.
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The silence that surrounded the small bridge he stood on was more peaceful than the one in his room. Here the quiet was disrupted by stray animals and the sounds of the world beyond the park, leaving him little room alone with his thoughts. Gazing down at the river below him, he stared once again at his reflection. Without his mask on, he simply looked like a scared and battered boy, blue eyes radiating more than he wanted to let on. Closing his eyes tightly, he gripped the railing of the bridge and forced a sigh.
What if he were to jump? Just dive head first into the shallow water, cracking his skull open on the rocks? It would be easy. It would be so easy.
Eyes widening, Robin stepped back from the side of the bridge, looking around for something that wasn't there. The voice in his head was back again.
Jumping would be better than returning back to Slade. Slade who used him as a mere toy for his pleasure.
Robin shook his head, feeling dizzy as the light from the moon and stars danced nauseatingly around him.
It would be better than returning to the Titans as well. They weren't missing him. They didn't need him. They had told him to leave. But he wanted so badly for them to save him.
"No!" Robin shouted into the silence, stumbling back to the bridge railing, holding on for balance.
He could just…
"I hope you're not planning on jumping." The soft voice was almost a whisper on the wind, but Robin heard it anyway, feeling relieved and full of dread all at once. His insanities has temporarily been put on hold due to the intruder, but now… now Robin shivered, the familiar voice sending cold sparks down his back.
"And what if I am?" His voice was flat and cold.
"Then I'd have to save you." Robin tensed at the words, hands tightening on the railing. No. No one wanted to save him. No one needed to save him. He didn't need saving.
"Dick…"
"Get out of here, Roy." Robin turned away from the taller boy, knowing without looking that the other was in civilian clothing just as he was.
"You didn't kill me."
And there was that phrase again. That phrase that he couldn't turn one corner without hearing. And it scared him. It scared him to death. It scared him because he didn't know the answer to the question that was silently being asked.
"Obviously," Robin sneered, pushing away from the railing and turning to leave. He froze when he felt a hand grip his wrist. Gazing down at the new link, his breath caught in his throat. Long and slender.
His dream…
"I. Don't. Need. Saving!" Robin screamed, twisting so that he was facing his self-proclaimed opponent. He was caught off guard by the sudden grip on his shoulders, eyes widening at the uncharacteristic roughness the other boy was displaying.
"Then save me." The urgency and desperation in the tone made Robin fall back in fear. Shaking his head, Robin yanked free, turning and taking off into a sprint. Relief washed over him when he realized that he wasn't being followed. Panting for air, Robin leaned against the nearest tree, closing his eyes.
Without their masks, their weapons, their uniforms… they weren't Robin and Speedy… they were Dick and Roy. Dick and Roy…
Robin opened his eyes and glanced at the moon.
Was what Dick wanted really so much different from Robin?
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He heard a crack of bone when another punch hit the target, but he paid it no mind.
He'd show them. He'd show them all, each and every one with a sick sense of satisfaction. Next time they met. He'd show them.
He didn't need saving.
TBC