"Snape, now that we're finally together we can..." Draco stopped. "Shut up, Draco. My true feelings are with Potter," Snape said. "Why didn't you admit it then?" Draco asked. "It's... it's just too embarrasing. I don't know wh. And what would I tell Alchemia?" Snape asked. "Why don't you just leave her then?" Draco asked. "Because I love her, too," Snape replied. "Sounds like you've got a problem," Draco said. "No shit," Snape sneered. "Well Potter's with Weasley. If you want Potter, you need to get rid of Weasley without anyone knowing that you did it," Malfoy said. "I say we poison a chicken and put it in Gryffindor common room with some hope of Ron eating it and dying," Draco said. "Long, drawn out, pointless, and likely to fail. When do we get started?"
Episode #7
"So, what got you into Sheeleyism anyhow?" Ron asked. "Well, you know my passion for pez dispensers of course, so I went to this pez club. It was founded by some American named Kayla Sheeley. Well, one of the pez dispensers was a duck, and... he was just so hot! So we kinda snuck into a clost and, yeah. Well then the Sheeley person found us and we couldn't do anything but let her join the action. So it kinda turned into a threesome. Everday since then I've been fingering pez dispensers," Harry said. "Ah, I see. Could never get enough?" Ron asked. "Yeah. Pretty much," Harry said. Harry hears a crying girl and turns to look. "Kayla?" Harry asked the crying girl. "Hi, Harry," Kayla sobbed. "What's wrong?" Harry asked affectionately. "Herman broke up with me. He says that I finger him too much and now he has a rash shaped like Minnesota on his..." Kayla stopped. "Ahem," Harry interrupted. "Sorry," Kayla appologized. "On his what?" Ron asked. "You don't want to know. And neither do I," Harry asked.
Episode #8
"Now let me find a chicken to poison," Snape said to himself. "Snape! Oh Snape it's you! I love you so much! Marry me and buy me a yellow house for us to live in 'till the day we die!" a blonde yells from across the yard. "And you would be?" Snape asked coldly. "I'm Allis-... meh! My name is Lila. I'm like your number one fan and admirer," Allison said. "Allie! That's supposed to be OUR yellow house!" Zak cried out popping out of nowhere into the scene. "Oh, Zak, I do love you. But when will I ever get the chance to ficticiously live with Snape again?" Allie asked. "Maybe the author might write something about you two," Zak said. "I wouldn't bet on it," Allison replied. "And by the way. How the hell did you get here?" She asked. "Er... long story," Zak said. "I have time," Allison replied. "Well the episode is nearly over judging by the amount of space left on the paper. Haven't you noticed that not one episode goes over one page?" "Yeah, I did. Stupid author." "Dammit, you two. You took up the whole episode. Now I have to wait a while to actually do something," Snape said.
Episode #9
"Pez club just isn't the smae without Herman and his Minnesota shaped rash on his.." Kayla stopped. "Ahem. You don't even know who could be reading this! And I really don't want to know where that rash is," Harry interrupted. "Sorry, Harry, but I just miss him so much," Kayla said. "I know how you feel. Someone I care about, too, has left my life," Harry said. "Who?" Kayla asked. "I couldn't tell you that. It's very personal," Harry said. "So, about Saturday in the closet," Kayla started. "What about it?" Harry asked. "I just keep thinking about it," Kayla said. "Why?" Harry asked. "Because I want mooore!" Kayla said. "The Room of Requirements is empty," Harry said. "What are we waiting for?" Kayla asked. "A bagel with cream cheese," Harry answered Kayla's rhetorical question. "Fine be that way! I vote Democrat!" Kayla said. Harry gasped. "You bitch! All I ever wanted from you was a sandwich!" Harry cried. ... - Kayla
Episode #10
Herman the Duck In First Person:
(plz remember now that Herman is a pez dispenser coated with a furry lining that looks like a duck)
I take a puff from my joint. Life sucks and that's all there is to it. I hate people. Always fingering me.
They never can keep their fingers to themselves. especially that Kayla Sheeley kid.
She fingered me so hard the other day it gave me a rashe the shape of the American state Minnesota on my clit.
Yes, my clit. Just don't tell anyong. It might cause worldwide panic. And why it's shaped like Minnesota, well
that's another story. I head into the local Cumberland Farms and buy a Slim Jim and a Big Gulp.
I see some of my fellow pez dispensers locked behind plastic. Someday they'll be freed. I'll free them all.
I slurp on my Big Gulp and it tastes good. I'm out of weed. I'll have to ask Nickey for some more.
She always has some. Carlton better have Link's Master Sword wating at my apartment when I get home.
I've still got some dirty work left to do. Shit, the cops. I've got to break. Later.