Herman the Duck/Carlton Showdown
Herman In First Person: I walk into my apartment and hang the keys on the nail on the wall. I hang up my coat. "Carlton?" I call out. "Yes, Herman?" I hear his voice sound from within. "You got the master sword?" I ask. "I sure as hell do!" He yells out.
Carlton In First Person: The stupid duck. He thinks that I'm going to give him teh master sword. Well I am. Just not in the way he wants me to. I jump out from the darkness and swing at him with my sword. He jumps back with insolent speed. Damn duck. Shit, he's lifting his pez launcher head thingy. Ah, fuck! I've been pezzed! I retreat into the dark living room.
Herman: "Carlton, Carlton, Carlton. Tch tch tch. You've just made a big mistake," I say to him. I load the next pez and get ready to shoot. I walk into the room carefully. I don't see him. I turn around and there he is. He swing at my head. I only have time to duck and innacurately shoot a pez, which just smashed into the TV and broke it. Dammit.
Carlton: I take one final swing and cut his head off. It goes flying throught the window, shattering shards of glass everywhere. I take the pez from his fallen body and begin to walk away. My work here is done.
Episode #17
Kayla in First Person:
I run into the apartment to find Carlton holding a bloody sword. I stop in my tracks causing
Nickey to bump into me. We topple to the floor and Carlton just laughs. What a bastard.
I get up to my feet and help Nickey up.
"WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?" I screamed in Carlton's face. Screamed, like,
so bad there's probably spit in his eyes. I sure as hell hope so.
"Becuase I had to. If I didn't he would just continue to slowly hurt everyone.
That duck had to go," he said calmly as ever. What the fuck is wrong with him.
I scream and he's calm. Fucking bastard.
"I LOVED THAT DUCK!" I scream but still the damned bastard remains expressionless and calm.
"At least he won't be stealing my pot anyomore," Nickey mutters. What. A. Bitch.
"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!" I yell at Nickey and her eyes start to water.
I can't tell whether that made me feel better or worse. Because I feel like shit right now that's why.
"Don't worry, Kayla, you'll thank me some day," Carlton says and him and Nickey just leave me there to cry.
What a bastard. Like I'll ever thank him. And Hell is going to freeze over. Picture that.
Episode #18
"Harry! Thanks for the chicken! It was delicious!" Ron said. "Chicken?" Harry asked completely confused. "Yeah, the one you gave me as a gift you left it on my bed," Ron said. "Er...No," Harry said. "Look, here, it says it on this," Ron said holding a piece of paper up to Harry It said:
To: Ron From: Harry
"Ron, I didn't give you taht chicken, honestly," Harry said. "Aw, stop joking," Ron said. Then he turned purple. Next came the violent convulsions. Then he fell to the floor, motionless and cold. "Ron! Ro-hoh-hohn! Why?" Harry screamed.
Yeah, Ron died. But he wasn't really even part of the story. And besides,
who would want Ron in a story like this? Exactly.
Episode #19
Allison In First Person:
I sit in my car every night outside his house waiting. Maybe tonight he'll come. Or maybe the next.
Maybe even never. But I'm going to keep coming back here every single night,
even until the day death take me! That's how much I love Severus Snape.
My car broke down so I've been borrowing Nickey's. Well, this is the first night.
It smells kinda funny in here. I want to just, I don't know, act goofy! I just want to have fun and...
Oh, shit, shoulda known. She's got so much marijuana in this car it doesn't have to be lit to get you high.
THAT'S a lot of pot. he he, that kinda rhymes. a lot and pot. Shut up! I didn't ask you. Meany.
And true, this is only my third night. But that's still the entire story so far. I wonder if I'll ever get to live
with Snape in this story. It would be so cool! Hey wait, what's that black figure moving towards me?
It's snape! He came! He opens the passenger door aaaand... sits down! He shuts the door, staring out the
windsheild. Still not looking at me he says, "What the hell are you doing in front of my house?"
"I love you, man! I want to marry you and..." I stop.
"Get a life," he says coldly and gets out of the car and just leaves me here.
Episode #20
Nickey in First Person:
We pull into my driveway and step out of the car. I pull out a joint and begin puffing away.
Everything starts to go swirly swirly like I like it. Carlton unlocks the door and walks in, I follow him.
We take off our coats and Carlton sits down and whips out his Nintendo DS, thumbs flying all over it.
Just watching him gives me a headache. Or maybe it's the pot. Or both together. Ah, fuck it I don't really care.
I take one last drag from my joint and put it out. I tell Carlton to come to bed. I slip into my nightclothes and
get under the sheets. Still no Carlton. I walk back into the living room and find Carlton still playing.
I tell him to shut it off and to my surprise he does. I lay down and feel his weight move around in the bed.
I smell my pot-filled breath. Everything goes swirly swirly again and I smile and fall asleep