Hello all! XP

Responses:

Arica, Princess of Rivendell- You noticed! Yay for blatant hints something is wrong:hugs:

Zoeybell- Eek! I'm flattered. Thank you, for in the words of Mark Twain: 'I can go for three months on a good complement.' :laughs: Stupid inspirational books.

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Last Time: "Well, we should probably head down to lunch so they don't think I've killed you or something!"

Part of the Plan VIII: Je-Sais-Tout

Severus Snape was rather apprehensive when the conversation with Pot- his son had gone on with out any major blow-ups, and the feeling was increasing rapidly. First, Harry had seemed very collected and almost more composed than he himself. Then, he had proven more composure that Severus when he lost his temper with the boy over the Dark Mark. There had been many odd comments as well, things that the Po- Harry he had known- or thought he had known would never had noticed. The comment about Quidditch had brought out the cavalry, though.

For one thing, he knew as well as he knew his name that the boy wouldn't give up Quidditch for anything. Because as Albus told him repeatedly- Quidditch was one of the few things that Harry excelled in, and deserved the attention he received. Also, who in their right minds would give up Quidditch for classes? Not even Severus would do that- and he could barely stay on a broom for any other purpose than transportation. Well, he had to admit, Lily Potter would and did on many occasions. And- one more thing. There was no one that could say truthfully Harry was too tall for Seeker, unless of course he was playing on a team of House Elves. He was the shortest boy in his year- shorter than even some of the year after him.

None of these oddities clicked until they got up to leave. Harry almost instantly bowled over, as it he was unused to his size and weight. Severus vaguely recalled he had been like this when he came down stairs, and then it all became clear to him.

He roughly grabbed the boy's arm and once they had made it out the door, Severus lead him to the infirmary instead of the Great Hall.

"Sir- where are we going?" the boy said, tripping over his feet for the umpteenth time.

"The infirmary, child. Now be quiet and stop falling over your feet," Severus said brusquely. He was in no mood for this, after the stupid little heart to heart talk that he now might have to repeat, since it was unclear if Harry was going to remember any of this.

When they reached the Hospital Wing, Severus yanked open the doors and shouted.

"Poppy, backlash!"

Then he shoved Harry through the doors to sprawl out on the floor and retreated to the library.

Once safely in the library, he walked slowly through the shelves, ignoring the librarian as she tried to figure out why he was storming around unhappily.

Miriam Pince was a good woman, kind to scholars and cold to people with a disregard for learning. Severus had always been one of her favorite students, but he had long since stopped coming into the library for anything. Thus, she wanted to know what had been going on, as she rarely attended meals in the Great Hall.

As he gruffly told her what was going on at the moment, he heard a voice yelling for him.

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Harry grumbled quietly as he picked himself carefully up off the ground in the infirmary. Pomfrey came bustling out of her office, looking at Harry for a moment.

"What in the world did Severus want, Mr. Potter?" she said irritably. Severus Snape was notorious for never setting foot inside the Hospital Wing- if he was conscious coming in. Harry shrugged blandly.

"He might have mentioned something about backlash, ma'am," he said vaguely. She looked at him sharply before nodding and leading the stumbling Harry to the bed farthest from the door.

She muttered some spells over Harry, and to her credit, when she finally got the results she was looking for, she merely raised an eyebrow. Harry, of course, was still clueless and felt the need to tell the nurse. She sighed carefully, speculating on just how many mirrors she had broken in her life. Her news was not news to look forward to giving.

"Harry- what Professor Snape meant by backlash is very simple. Some long-term spells develop side effects when the spell nears its decomposition date. One such spell is a form of adoption spell used in some pureblood families. At the moment, you are experiencing this Unfaithful Wife Backlash. That is why you are suddenly so clumsy, and I would guess you might be having a slight personality transplant as well," she finished, looking apprehensive.

Harry only shrugged.

"It figures. No biggie, I've known about that for a couple hours, maybe."

Poppy looked instantly curious, but Harry misdirected her attention.

"If you want answers, drag Snape down here and ask him. I don't feel well."

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The voice of Poppy Pomfrey reverberated in the stone castle sonorously for a moment, before Severus excused himself, promising he would return to the library some days soon.

He exited the library cautiously, softly closing the door behind him. Then he turned to Poppy.

"You screamed?" he asked dryly.

"Harry has UWB, and he told me to get the answers out of you, so we're going to the infirmary. Now," she said forcefully. Severus could only sigh, and motioned for her to lead the way. Slightly mollified, she sniffed and walked briskly towards her domain. Severus looked around desperately when her back was turned, but ended up having nothing to do but follow.

A few minutes later, Harry sat up as the nurse and his father entered the room. He stifled a laugh as Severus visibly flinched at entering the dreaded Hospital Wing. He did not manage to stifled the second laugh when Pomfrey rounded on the hapless Potions Master.

"Sit," she said, pointing to a chair near Harry's bed, "and explain."

Snape moved towards the chair, and Pomfrey watched him with an eagle's-eye. As he sat gingerly in the chair, he decided to go straight for the jugular.

"I am Harry's father."

Poppy choked at that one, but motioned for him to continue.

"When James and Lily supposedly 'came out' as a couple, Lily was pregnant with my son. We had mutually agreed to go our separate ways for safety, and she went to James her best friend. James convinced her to tell me she had had a miscarriage. Dumbledore knew. I was stupid, though, thinking James had made her- kill it or something. That's about it. Then I got drunk on her birthday with the werewolf, and he let it slip to Dumbledore I was in denial. Dumbledore gave me the go ahead, and I had to tell Harry. I suspect that was what triggered the UWB. Also, Harry had to cope with inheriting the Slytherin Tower, which I notice is apparent from his robes. I've not seen the Slytherin crest in ages," he said pointing at the small insignia on Harry's robe.

It showed a black falcon with its wings outstretched, carrying a green snake. The background was pure white, with some flecks on the white indicating that the robe had been worn before. Below the bird was one word, the Slytherin family motto.

Snape was examining the robes indifferently, but Poppy gaped and Harry was looking mildly amused.

Poppy looked to be on the verge of asking another compromising question when the Infirmary doors flew open once again. This time it was Lupin, Albus, and various other members of the staff, each supporting another Order member. Following were other members who could walk, but the one in Albus' arms looked quite dead.

Most of the conscious people looked surprised at Harry and Severus over in the corner, but none commented. Albus, Poppy, and Snape quickly went to work on the patients, Snape and Pomfrey without question, and Dumbledore and Snape without hesitation.

When all were slumbering, except the one Dumbledore had carried in, for she had died, the grown-ups returned to Harry's bed. Harry had observed without question, thinking of how many times this had apparently happened.

"Well, Harry, my boy, what brings you here?" Dumbledore asked gravely.

"Madame Pomfrey tells me I have UWB," he returned politely. Dumbledore turned to Snape, who nodded.

"Ah. How amusing. Hopefully those two don't intend to keep you locked up for duration, as I'm told six weeks is a very long wait in the infirmary," the Headmaster said, brightening. Harry shrugged blandly, and it was Pomfrey's turn to ask questions.

"What happened?"

"The raid appeared to be an initiation raid, which would explain Severus' lack of knowledge. The only casualty was, as you saw, Professor Sinstra. Sadly, that leaves us down a fine Order member and faculty member. I'll need to see to her burial, as her family won't attend to it, but no matter. I do believe we have a replacement Astronomy teacher in the wings, don't we, Severus?" he said, sadly at first, then his tone becoming playful. Snape had paled at the mention of an Astronomy teacher, and was now shaking his head in disbelief.

"Albus. You must be kidding me. Please say you're kidding. Not him, anyone but-"

"Severus," the Headmaster interrupted, "he's your nephew. Be nice, as I'm sure young Harry will love to meet him."

Harry looked instantly interested in this nephew, but Snape beat him to commenting.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of, Albus, that he'll like him," he muttered.

"Who? Who will be the new Astronomy teacher?" Harry asked.

"Why, your cousin, Akakios Mandrake, dear boy," Albus said, his eyes sparkling.

"I've got cousins? What's he like? How's-" he started, but Snape cut him off.

"Akakios is one of the most godforsaken morons I know. He's- I don't even know how to describe him. He's my elder sister's son, but he's only three months younger than I," Snape said sulkily.

"Now Severus, he's not that bad. You know you've got to love him," Poppy said, "He does have a fan club after all."

"Yeah- one that consists of Minerva and Filius," Snape muttered.

Harry was laughing silently, but he quickly became more silent at his father's glare.

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