Disclaimer: I do not own Scary Movie or any of its affiliated characters. Same thing for Jeopardy! and its contestants. I also know that Terminator and Scary Movie weren't released just weeks apart from each other, but this is my story. So blah.

CHAPTER 28: The Relatively Successful Date

"I'm Gail Hailstorm, here at Lover's Lookout," said the reporter. "It's dark, it's in the middle of nowhere, and it's where hormone-driven teens like to come and fool around. So very likely, we're about to see someone get killed. Okay, sure enough, there's a girl in this car, blouse unbuttoned, all alone. Let's see if she'll have a word with us." She strode over to the car. "Hi, I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of the new book, You're Next."

"Oh yeah!" said the girl, her face brightening.

"Can you tell us your name please?" asked Gail.

"It's Heather, and-' the girl began, but Gail cut her off.

"Heather, can you tell us what you're doing out here so late?" she asked.

"Well, me and my boyfriend were making out, but we heard a noise and he went to check it out," Heather said. "But that was like ten minutes ago."

"Heather, has it crossed your little mind that your boyfriend was probably murdered and that you're about to be slaughtered next?" Gail asked.

"Really? No way!" Heather exclaimed.

"Way!" said Gail. "Heather, good luck!" At this point a man clad in all black with a knife and a white mask ran up, grabbed Heather, pulled her out of her car window, and stabbed her. Gail went nuts with excitement, exclaiming, "Kenny! Kenny are you getting this?! Heather! Heather, can you tell us what you're feeling?"

"Lots of pain!" Heather cried out as she was stabbed again and again. "Gail, help! Please help me!"

"Sorry Heather, I would but it's sweeps!" said Gail. She turned to the killer as he threw Heather's body aside. "Sir, sir can you tell us your name?"

"You've got a lot of nerve coming here!" the killer yelled. "I'm just trying to do my job- hey get that camera off me!"

"Kenny, run!" Gail yelled. The man holding the camera followed after Gail, who ran into the woods for all she was worth. Her next words came out in a more desperate tone. "KENNY! Kenny, move your fat ass! Kenny! Kenny, he's right behind you!"

"This mother's chasing me!?" Kenny cried. "Gail! AGH!" The sound of Kenny being stabbed rang out, followed by a thud and everything going black. The audience was cracking up by this point, people were laughing uncontrollably, and anyone who had been eating or drinking was now spitting out whatever was in their mouth with laughter. Sonic and Amy sat in the back row, under the projector. They had gone to catch the evening showing of Scary Movie, the new comedy they'd seen advertised on TV. And so far, it was living up to that description.

"Oh my God!" Amy managed to spit out through fits of laughter. "Who thinks these things up!? God, I'm so glad I went to the bathroom before the movie started!"

"I'm almost afraid to finish watching it!" Sonic exclaimed. "I think I might pass out from laughing too hard!" Unfortunately, this wasn't to be, because everything suddenly went pitch-black, and people began gasping and chattering.

"What's going on?" Amy asked in a nervous tone. She wasn't afraid of the dark, but the thought that Espio's murderer had come back was enough to unnerve her.

"Dunno," Sonic said. "Just sit tight, it'll come back on in a minute." About five minutes later, the movie still hadn't come back on, and everyone was able to see a little bit in the dark. Above Sonic and Amy, the man operating the projector leaned out through the opening through which the film was projected and whistled for everyone's attention.

"Sorry folks, but I've been told that the theater's had a big power outage," he said. "I'm afraid we won't be able to finish the showing. But if you'll take your ticket stubs to the cashiers outside, you can get 'em stamped and get back in free tomorrow or whenever we get the place up and running again. Or you can just get a refund, whichever."

"Great," Amy said. "Well, at least we got to see that much of the movie, if nothing else." Everyone had gotten up and began shuffling toward the exits by now, so Sonic and Amy did the same. Outside, everyone had to adjust to the light, so things were slightly jammed up for a minute. Once everyone could see again, they all headed to the cashiers to get their stamps or refunds. This took a little while, but when it was all said and done, Amy and Sonic headed out and took a little stroll toward the beach. It was a beautiful Monday evening, the air still warm with a slight breeze. The orange glow of the setting sun engulfed everything, making it appear as though everything had been painted that color with see-through paint. Clouds were beginning to blow in, so the sunset was likely to be cut off before too much longer.

"Did you ever get those stupid tax forms done?" Sonic asked with a slight grin.

"No," Amy said. "I was extra-busy today, because one of my employees called in sick. He sure sounded like it, too. I do a bit of everything down there, trying to make the place a success."

"From what I heard yesterday, it already is," Sonic said, losing his grin. "Sounds to me like you do too much. You could just teach Tails how to do it. Look at him, he's skipped two grades! The kid's already a rocket scientist, so I'm sure he could handle the IRS!"

"I know," Amy said. "But it's just a psychological thing. It just makes me feel more comfortable if I do it."

"I don't think I'll ever understand how you women think," Sonic said jokingly. Amy laughed a little.

"Get used to the feeling," she said with a wide grin. "Studies have shown, most psychologists don't know either." They both had a laugh over that. They walked in silence for a few more minutes, neither one able to think of anything to say. Amy thought of something pretty soon, though. "Have you seen Knuckles lately?"

"No, actually I haven't," Sonic said, rubbing his chin. "Why?"

"I was talking to Rouge several days ago, and she says that she's going out with him," Amy replied. "But like we both just said, no one really knows how we women think, so maybe she was stretching the truth a little." Sonic gave another laugh.

"If we weren't going out, would you tell your friends that we were?" he asked.

"If I thought that I could get away with it, maybe," Amy said. "Good point. If I knew that someone I knew also knew you and could ask you, I probably wouldn't." The two hedgehogs kept on walking until they reached the beach. The salty sea air tickled their noses with one of the sweetest smells they ever had the pleasure of smelling.

"It's too bad we don't have a beach blanket or something," Sonic said. "We could camp out here. It's a perfect night for it. Well, assuming it's not gonna rain."

"You could always go get one," Amy said sweetly.

"And leave you alone here? You crazy?" Sonic asked. Amy smiled, then leaned forward and kissed Sonic.

"I love you Sonic," she said.

"And I love you too," Sonic said, pulling her into a hug.

"The sight of new love in the face of the Mother Ocean is one of the most beautiful that one can witness in this world or in the next," said a raspy voice from behind the two. Sonic let go of Amy and whirled around to see who had said that. He saw a figure, seven feet tall, wearing a brown cloak that covered its entire body. Its hood had an opening for its face, but there was no face, yet that was still where its voice had come from. It stepped forward, toward the edge of the water.

"Who are you?" Sonic demanded. The figure ignored him.

"Hundreds of millions of years ago, some of the first organisms crawled forth from the Mother Ocean," it went on. "Born in the depths, they continued to grow until they were able to step forth into a strange new world. All life began in the Mother Ocean, and all shall so end."

"Who are you!?" Sonic repeated.

"Yes, who indeed," the figure said, turning around to face Sonic and Amy. "Sonic the hedgehog, one of the few Chosen Ones. One of the very few who may unleash the power of the Seven and use it for good- or evil. And Amy Rose, future wife of Sonic the hedgehog." Amy's expression brightened considerably at this point. The figure chuckled, saying, "Such a predictable reaction. As was yours, Chosen One. But do you really know that I speak the truth, or do you doubt my words? When I leave you, it will be for you to decide whether I lie or whether I speak the truth."

"Alright, so we've established that you know us," Sonic stated. "You wanna tell us who you are, and tell us what you want?"

"Who I am is of no concern to you," the figure said. "What I want is the more important detail. Time and time again, you defeated the forces of the deceased Dr. Eggman and saved the world from what was certainly a grim fate. And while these trials were great, you have not faced the final terror. It grows ever stronger in the darkness below, waiting, watching, planning. It has already sent an unknowing agent to gather the Seven."

"You mean the Emeralds?" Amy asked. The figure ignored her.

"Cherish your time with your loved ones, for it may not last," it said. "I wish you the best of luck, for you will undoubtedly need it." With a swish of its cloak, the figure turned and began to walk into- no, on top of the water. Amy rushed forward.

"Wait!" she called. "Who are you?" The figure stopped on the water, turned around to face Amy, then sank silently into the water, roughly fifty feet from the beach.

"Who WAS that?" Sonic wondered out loud. "What a weirdo. That was pretty creepy with the sinking into the water, though."

"Wonder what that thing meant by 'final terror,'" Amy said.

"Ah, don't worry about it," Sonic said. "It was probably just some really elaborate prank." He didn't really believe that, though.

"Let's get out of here," Amy said. "Let's go back to my house. We can figure out something to do there. And I don't mean that in a perverted way, either!"

"I didn't think so," Sonic said. "We should probably go back to the theater and get the car, though."

"Um... I kinda forgot about that," Amy said. "We walked all this way, and left the car. Great, now I REALLY feel smart."

"Wow, those clouds really rolled in, didn't they?" Amy noted, looking up as she pulled the car into her driveway. "Better put the top up in case it rains." She reached down under the radio and pushed a small switch up, causing the car's top to begin to unfold toward the front. Once it was fully unfolded, she let go of the switch and it flipped back to the position between up and down. "Latch that side for me, willya?" she said. She reached up and to her left with both hands and pulled down on the top of the car, Sonic following suit. Once she had the top touching the top of the windshield's frame, she directed a small hook on the car's top to a slot in the top of the windshield frame, then pushed a small lever attached to the top against the frame. The hook on the top retracted as the result, which pulled the top tightly against the frame. Once Sonic had his side done the same way, Amy turned the car off. Roughly one second later, the bottom fell out and the entire car was drenched by heavy rain.

"Guess tonight wasn't such a hot night to sleep on the beach after all, huh?" Sonic said.

"Guess not," Amy said. "It's not a hot night to run home, either. Normally I'd offer to take you home later, but there's a little problem. When the car gets wet, sometimes this stupid thing in the engine won't work and it won't start. Or if it's already running, it'll stall."

"Guess I'll have to hope I can get home before I catch a cold," Sonic said dully. "We've still got a little time, though."

"We've got all night," Amy said. "You think I'm letting you run home in this? If you try to, I'll attach myself to you and not let go!"

"What, so you're saying you want me to stay here tonight?" Sonic asked.

"Actually yes," Amy said. "I figure my bed's big enough for both of us... What?" Sonic was gaping at her.

"You're kinda rushing this along, aren't you?" he said. Amy rolled her eyes.

"It's fine," she said. "I don't exactly sleep in the nude, and I doubt you do, either. If I had sex in mind, I would've gotten you drunk before I brought you here." She said that with a tone of finality, then opened her door and made a mad dash for her front porch. Sonic did the same, and got there before she did. But, he was still just as wet as she was.

"I don't suppose you have something dry in there that men could wear in public and not feel like assholes, do you?" he asked, pointing at his soaked jeans.

"I think I'm starting to see your point," Amy said. "Um... I suppose you could just take a long bath or something while I throw them in the dryer... But let's get inside first. Standing on this porch isn't helping anyone." She opened the door and stepped inside, Sonic following.

"Well, just point me to the bathroom and I'll get in there," he said. Amy pointed to a door halfway down the hall.

"That's my room," she said. "The bathroom's through the door in there. You can just leave your pants on top of my dresser, and I'll go in and pick them up in a minute. I wanna get some coffee going first."

"Okay," Sonic said. He walked down the hall and into Amy's room. He quickly located the bathroom and stepped inside, closing the door. He took off his jeans, then pushed open the door enough to lean out and toss them onto the bare dresser. Out in the kitchen, Amy turned on the hot water and it came out cold. She JUST remembered something at this point.

"SONIC!" she yelled. "THE KNOBS ON THE BATHTUB ARE-" She was cut off when Sonic screamed at the top of his lungs. Amy laughed loudly and headed to her room. She leaned inside and faced the closed bathroom door.

"Why didn't you tell me the knobs were reversed!?" Sonic called out.

"I remembered just before you turned the water on!" Amy called back. "I'm so sorry! I tried to tell you but you didn't hear me!"

"Least I was smart enough to stick my hand into the water before I got in," Sonic called. Amy laughed again, then strode forward, grabbed his soaked pants, and returned to the hall. Just across from her room was a pair of sliding doors like you'd expect to see on a closet. She slid the right one open, revealing a plain white dryer. She opened it up and shoved the pants inside, then set it for a half hour.

"I'm setting it for a half hour," she called, "so I hope you like being wet!"

"Oh yeah, I love the water," Sonic called back. "Reminds me of the time Eggman set up a ton of booby traps in a verticle shaft, then started flooding it!" Amy just rolled her eyes and turned the dryer on.

When Sonic got out of the bath, he found his warm, fresh-out-of-the-dryer jeans folded on top of Amy's dresser. He threw them back on and walked back out into the living room, where Amy was sipping a cup of hot coffee and watching Jeopardy! on her little twenty-inch screen TV. A guy named Ken had over $10000, and it was still the first round.

"Man, that guy is STILL on there!?" Sonic said, sitting down. "I saw him win one night about a month ago, but DAMN!"

"It's crazy, I know," Amy said. "There's some warm coffee still out there if you want." She reached down and picked up the remote, switching the TV to the guide channel. The only thing that was on that really caught her or Sonic's attention was Monday night football, but the only reason it caught Amy's attention was because she'd read in a tabloid that Sonic had joined the Station Square Sentinels as a runningback. She was stuck somewhere between believing it and disbelieving it.

"What now?" Sonic asked. "The car won't go anywhere, nothing's on TV, doesn't look like you have a VCR..." Amy thought for a moment, then grinned mischieviously.

"I know," she said. She reached around Sonic, pulled him in close, and began to kiss him- deeply. He pulled free after a couple of seconds.

"Wait," he said. "You said sex wasn't part of the plan!"

"Technically, this isn't sex," she said simply. "If that doesn't satisfy you-" she kissed him again, "then we can call it a spur-of-the-moment thing." She pulled him back into another deep kiss, and this time he just closed his eyes and went with it. Hey, if she wanted to make out, why fight it?

After roughly two hours of almost non-stop kissing, Sonic and Amy finally broke apart. Amy took a glance at the clock.

"It's getting a little late," she said. "We should probably get to bed."

"I guess so," Sonic said. He and Amy stood up and stretched, then she led the way to her bedroom. Out in the hall, she turned around and stopped Sonic.

"Wait just one minute, willya?" she said. "I may be willing to spend two straight hours making out with you, but I'm not really sure I'm comfortable with the thought of being naked in front of you."

"Ah, man," Sonic said, faking disappointment. Amy smiled, then stepped into the room and closed the door. She pulled off her shoes and dress, then pulled out a pink nightgown and pulled it on.

"You can come in now!" she called. Sonic walked in, yawning widely. He kicked off his shoes and put them in the corner of the room, then turned around and faced the bed, where Amy was laying down.

"So you'll make out with me, you'll sleep with me, but you won't let me see you naked," he said jokingly. "You truly are a strange one."

"You never know, I might have plans to sneak into the shower behind you tomorrow," she said with another grin. Sonic chuckled, then walked over to the bedside and lay down under the covers. Amy kissed him again, turned and clicked off the lamp, then lay her head down on his upper arm, putting her arm across his chest. "Good night," she said.

"Good night," he said back. "And by the way, you're a good kisser."

"So are you," Amy said.

Okey dokey, another SonAmy chapter down. Review it, plz. Bit of a long one, wasn't it? So, the big question on your mind, I'm sure, is "Who is that freak in the cloak?" Don't worry, that'll be answered in time, too. At the moment, one answer I can use is "He's the reason the word relatively is in the chapter name."