A/N: Alright, this is a severe bastardization of the Sleeping Beauty story. It's in no way to be taken seriously, as should become obvious. And don't kill me for the hight jokes – it's all for effect . Enjoy!
WARNINGS: Shonen-ai, OOC-ness, general silliness. ALSO, I'll be using Yami no Yuugi's real name in this one, so if you haven't found it out yet, beware.
Disclaimer: As much as I wish that I owned these lovely boys, I don't. Alas...
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Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a cute but shorter-than-average Prince. Even though he was so small (though that extra foot or so of hair helped make him look a little bigger), he was always kind and cheerful, and everyone in the kingdom loved him. Everyone, that is, but the Evil Fairy.
Staring out of a window of his mountaintop tower, the Evil Fairy made a face. "That kid's so dammed perky! It's ruining my evil brooding." He flipped his pale hair and sighed dramatically. "If only there was a way to shut him up..." He suddenly whirled around, snapping his fingers. "Waitaminute, they don't call me the Evil Fairy for nothing!" he cried, hurrying to a bookshelf in the corner. Books went flying left and right as he searched for the perfect spell...
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Down at the palace, things were rapidly going downhill. The Evil Fairy's minion had appeared to inform the King and Queen that their little son wouldn't be waking anytime soon, and the King was fuming.
"So this spell does what again?" The King growled at the unshaven man leaning against the wall. "Enh, apparently it knocks the shrimp out for a real long time," the man replied insolently.
"And just how long is 'a real long time'?"
"well, forever, I guess...not really sure about that part." The man adjusted the bandanna on his head, looking sheepish.
"Forever!" yelped the King. "But we have a dinner party to go to tonight!"
"Isn't there some sort of cure?" asked the Queen, worry evident in her voice.
"I dunno, really...why don't you ask that loony wizard you keep around here?" He straightened. "Whelp, gotta go. Good luck with your little problem," he snickered. Winking at the Queen, he disapeared in an obnoxiously bright flash of light.
"Well that was irritating," the King grumbled. "Now what?"
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Later, the King and Queen found themselves standing nervously in the tower of the local wizard. Well, "tower" was a bit of an exaggeration, as it was only one story tall, but the Wizard liked to call it a tower, and one tended not to argue with wizards.
Said Wizard was currently bustling around the "tower", his spiky gray hair just visable above a stack of books. The King cleared his throat. "Oh great Wizard, we have come to you in our time of great need, seeking aid that only you can-"
"The Evil Fairy finally got around to cursing the Prince, did he?" The Wizard interrupted, not looking up.
"Er, yes. Can you do anything about it? Preferably quickly – this evening's rather booked," the King continued.
The old Wizard finally appeared from behind the pile of books. "I'm afraid my magic will not avail you in this case," he said seriously. The King's face fell, and the Queen looked heartbroken. "So there's nothing to be done?" she asked.
"I didn't say that," replied the Wizard with a slight smile. "There is a simple cure."
"Great!" The King was looking much better. "Easy is always good."
The Wizard looked at him sternly. "I said 'simple', not 'easy'. A curse such as this can only be broken by True Love's First Kiss."
The King and Queen looked impressed. "Truly you are wise to so quickly divine the answer," the Queen murmured.
The Wizard grinned. "Enh, the Evil Fairy always uses that one. It's a failing, really." He made as if to turn back to his books.
"Hold on! How exactly are we supposed to find this 'True Love'?" The King had caught the sleeve of the retreating Wizard.
"I would imagine you should issue a proclamation," the Wizard replied evenly, "requesting that all eligible persons make an appearance and attempt to break the curse. After all, everyone adores him...it shouldn't be too hard to find True Love in that kind of a crowd"
"But we can't have just anyone locking lips with him. He's a Prince for goodness' sakes! Who's going to sort out the riffraff? " The King was getting irritated.
"And who will watch over him and keep him from harm?" Asked the Queen.
The Wizard gave them a sort of tolerant smile, then began rummaging through a nearby bag. "Here, this should help," he said, tossing something at the King. The King caught the item and turned it over in his hands curiously. It appeared to be a little golden pyramid. "what's this supposed to do?" He asked.
"A mighty Dragon is bound within it. If you call on him, he should be able to guard your Prince for you," the Wizard replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."
The King looked at the hunk of gold again, and stuck it in his pocket. "We thank you, oh mighty Wizard, for-"
"Don't mention it. Just let me get back to my work." The Wizard was looking remarkably grumpy, so the two beat a hasty retreat.
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Several hours later, a proclamation had been issued, and a rather elaborate bed had been set up in the throne room, with the sleeping Prince nestled comfortably within it. Everyone who saw him had to admit, as adorable as he was when awake, he was even cuter asleep. The Queen petted his head affectionately, while the King fiddled with the golden pyramid. "How do you suppose we get this thing to work?" He asked the Queen. She shrugged, and turned her attention back to her son. Shrugging as well, the King began to tap on the small item. "Um, hello? Mighty Dragon? You in there?" Nothing.
"Oh mighty Dragon, I command thee to come forth!" Still nothing.
"Will you please just get out here!" At the King's irate demand, the pyramid began to shake. "Holy Hell!" shrieked the King, who promptly dropped the golden thing. A dark smoke began to pour from it, creating a large and fairly ominous cloud. As the royal family and various courtiers backed away, the smoke began to swirl and harden, until before them stood the most impressive Dragon any of them had ever seen (in actual fact, it was the only Dragon most of them had ever seen). It was black as the darkest night, but its scales had a reddish gleam where the light hit them. Its body was long and sinuous, and each of its digits was tipped with a curving golden claw. It was at least 12 feet tall, and its broad wings were slick as black ice. It looked down on them all with disdain in its vivid red eyes. "You called?" It growled, obviously irritated.
"Um, er, yes, well..." the King took a deep breath, deciding he wasn't about to be intimidated by this oversized lizard. "Oh mighty Dragon, I have called thee forth to-"
"Oh, by the gods, I've grown tired of that speech over the years," the Dragon groaned. "Can't you just get to the point?" He tapped one long claw on the ground.
"Well," the King looked a little flustered at being interrupted, again, but he quickly regained himself. "You see, we've got this cursed Prince that needs looking after, and..."
"And? Why can't you look after him yourself?" The dragon asked impatiently.
"well, you see, there's this dinner party..."
"This is ridiculous," the Dragon rumbled. "Give me one good reason I should help you."
The Queen spoke up. "Before you refuse, just take a look at the Prince. Maybe you'll change your mind..."
The Dragon glared at her, and huffed out a little smoke cloud. "Fine," he ground out. He swept over to the bed and gazed down at the sweetly sleeping Prince, and got the surprise of his remarkably long life. He looks an awful lot like my human form, thought the Dragon. Then, looking more closely- no, not quite the same- his hair is different, and he's so much paler...and his face is gentler...I bet his eyes are larger, too...it's too bad they're closed...I wonder what color they are...
The Queen watched him, a small smile on her face. No one could say no to her little Prince, even if he wasn't conscious. "So what do you say now?" she asked. The Dragon fixed her with a piercing look. "What do you need me to do?" he asked.
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"...So just watch out for him, and make sure the wrong sort of person doesn't get close to him," the King finished. He had been explaining the situation to the Dragon while his wife was off putting the final touches on her outfit for the night. The Dragon nodded sullenly, wondering again how he'd let himself get suckered into doing this. Almost involuntarily, he glanced at the oversized bed. Oh...right...
The King gave him a funny look. "We're depending on your judgment here, so don't mess it up, okay?" The Dragon turned on him with a growl. "Just because I agreed to look after him doesn't mean I agreed not to eat you." The King backed up, his eyes huge. "Okay, Igottagohaveagoodtimebye!" he called out as he darted from the room.
With an annoyed huff, the Dragon settled down near the bed. This had better not take too long...
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The Dragon was awakened from a light doze by the sound of pattering feet at the door of the throne room. Looking up, he saw a small girl in scholar's robes entering the room. She moved with a light step, and her blond pigtails bounced at her every motion. She stopped when she saw the huge dragon, but her blue eyes remained determined behind her spectacles. The Dragon looked down at her, amusement in his eyes. "Aren't you a little young for a scholar?" he questioned.
She glared up at the Dragon. "Aren't you a little nosy for a dragon?" she asked. The Dragon glared back at her. "Look, kid, what are you here for?" The girl struck a dramatic pose. "I've come to wake the sleeping Prince with the Kiss of True Love!" she exclaimed.
The Dragon snorted. "You're what, twelve? The Prince may be short, but he's a little old for you, I think. Now run along and play."
The little Scholar balled her fists and marched up to the Dragon. "Listen, you, I'm destined to be with the Prince for ever and ever, and I'm gonna prove it! So MOVE IT!"
The Dragon lowered his head so that his eyes were level with her own. "Little girl," he breathed, "I think that you would find becoming dragon food most unpleasant. I suggest you leave."
The Scholar's eyes got even larger, if that were at all possible. "A-alright, I'm leaving..." She began to back up. "...But I'll be back!" she called as soon as she was a safe distance from the Dragon's jaws. Turning, she scampered out of the room.
Sighing, the Dragon settled back into his place beside the bed. I'm beginning to see what that idiot meant about 'the wrong sort'. That one was totally unworthy...
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It was only a few minutes later that a clanking sound heralded the approach of a new contender. A young Knight strode into the room purposefully, silver armor gleaming in the torchlight. Oh, this should be good. Trailing the Knight was a petulant (and overly made-up) looking Squire, whose green eyes roamed languidly around the room until they came to an abrupt halt on the Dragon. He reached out to tug at the arm of the Knight, but was quickly shrugged off.
Halting before the Dragon, the Knight removed his helmet to reveal tousled cinnamon hair and bright blue eyes. A grim expression was etched on his face as he stared up at the dragon. From his towering hight, the Dragon matched him stare for stare, silently sizing the Knight up. Hmm, not bad looking. Looks clever, too...this might actually work. The Dragon felt a sudden pang at that, but pushed it aside."State your purpose," he rumbled.
The Knight drew himself up to his full hight. " I have come to break this evil curse, and so win glory and honor!" he exclaimed. "Ya, plus he thinks the Prince is pretty cute," snickered the Squire.
The Knight turned a fiery red and rounded on the boy behind him. "Shut it, you!" he hissed. The Squire just rolled his eyes. "What? You were the one who said it in the first place. Just go make with the kissie-kissie." The Squire made a dismissive gesture. The Knight bared his teeth at the black-haired boy, but turned back to the Dragon, who was now giving them a speculative look.
"Honor and glory, eh?" said the Dragon. "Doesn't sound a whole lot like True Love to me." The Dragon cocked his head to the side. " No, I don't think you're worthy – even if you do find him attractive." He added that last as a growl. "It's best if you just go."
The Knight glared up at the Dragon, setting his shoulders. "You know, knights typically slay dragons," he ground out. The Dragon let out a hissing laugh.
"Human, I'm larger, older, and meaner than you. Trust me, you don't want to fight me. Besides," he continued, "even if you did have some form of love for the Prince, you still wouldn't be able to give him the attention he deserves. You're not the type who could. Now why don't you take that pretty-boy," he jerked his head in the direction of the Squire, "and get out?"
The Knight clenched his jaw, eyes on the ground. Suddenly, he drew his sword and charged the Dragon. The Dragon's eyes widened, but a dismissive flick of his forepaw sent the Knight flying across the room to land on his side. The Squire hurried over, picking the Knight out of his crumpled heap. His pride, and his armor, seemed dented, but he appeared to be fine otherwise.
He seemed to be readying himself for a second attempt, but the Squire grabbed him by the back of the neckgard and began to haul him out of the throne room. "It's not worth it!" he yelled at the struggling Knight. "Come on, I heard there's this other prince being held in a tower somewhere around here. You can rescue him instead, okay?" The Squire's tone had become wheedling. "Is he cute?" asked the Knight unsteadily. "Sure," replied the Squire as he dragged the Knight out of the door. "Blonde, nice tan..." his voice faded as the pair was lost from view.
The Dragon shook his head. You wouldn't think it would be so hard for someone this adorable to find True Love. He stretched out to his full length, and then, after a moment's thought, curled up around the Prince's bed. Lifting his head, he gazed at the face of the sleeping boy. At least he seems peaceful. Hopefully he's having good dreams. The Dragon blinked, startled by his train of thought, and lay down again to await the next attempt.
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It seemed that the undignified retreat of the Knight had scared off some of the hopefuls, as no one attempted to enter for quite some time following. After a time of inactivity, the Dragon went back to his former pastime of observing the Prince. He was beginning to wish he had met the boy when he was awake – he had such an open, friendly face. His skin looks so soft, too...I wonder...no, claws off, Dragon, soon some mortal's going to come and wake him...kiss him...and then they'll ride off into the sunset on some stupid white horse...why am I so bitter about that? Ugh...doesn't matter, I suppose.
The Dragon lay his head down on the stones of the floor and tried to relax. Pretty little human, though...and he seems so kind...everyone here loves him...I bet those eyes are a really rare color, something unique and beautiful...grr...
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The Dragon was just beginning to calm down when a new figure appeared in the doorway. His eyes widened a little as none other than a fairy-tale Princess drifted into the room. A golden circlet caught up her shoulder-length brown hair, and her pink slippers barely touched the ground. Uh oh. No, wait. This is a good thing. Right?...Right?
"And who are you?" the Dragon muttered.
Blue eyes gazed fearlessly up at the Dragon. "I am the Princess of a far away kingdom. I have come to bring the Kiss of True Love that will lift this awful curse!" her voice rang out.
"Wait a minute, 'far away kingdom'? Didn't take you that long to get here, did it?"
"Well, I was at this dinner party, when..."
"Spare me. So, what makes you think you're right for this?
The Princess didn't respond. She had floated over to the ridiculous bed, and was gazing down at the Prince with starry eyes. After a few moments of this, the irritated Dragon cleared his throat. She looked up, a faint blush on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, it's just - he's very pretty, isn't he?"
The Dragon was getting tired of this. "Yes," he snarled, "Yes he is. Now, are you going to tell me what makes you think you're worthy of trying to wake him, or should I just barbecue you?"
The Princess blinked at him. "Well, I'm a Princess, and he's a Prince...and he's just so cute, who wouldn't love him? It seems obvious to me." The Princess gave him a winning smile.
The Dragon slumped a little. She's right, of course. She was probably born to do this. I should just get out of the way. Why do I care anyway?
The Dragon, feeling confused and miserable, shook himself out and prepared to move away from the small Prince, when something the Princess had said clicked in his head.
'Who wouldn't love him?'
"Alright, Princess, get lost."
"What? I thought you were supposed to be helping to wake him up? How is this helping?"
"I'm going to wake him."
"Um, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but you're a twelve-foot dragon. I don't think your plan is going to work."
"Appearances can be deceiving," said the Dragon with a grin, and the dark smoke began to swirl around him once more. This time, the shape began to shrink, until before the startled eyes of the Princess there appeared a young man, slender and elegant, clad all in black. His skin was dusky, and his wild hair was remarkably like that of the sleeping Prince, but his eyes were the blood-red orbs of the Dragon.
"Wow", breathed the Princess, staring at the newly-formed Dragon-boy, then looking back to the Prince, then back to the Dragon-boy. "I'm impressed."
"That's nice. Now move it." The Dragon-boy snarled. His voice was smoother, more silken, but it still retained the Dragon's harshness.
Blinking, the Princess seemed lost in thought for a moment. Then, she stepped directly in front of the Dragon-boy. He made as to move past her, but she caught him gently by the arm. "Just let me look in your eyes." Her voice was soft. The Dragon-boy caught her gaze and held it, and after a moment she seemed satisfied. Sighing, she moved to the side. "Now I know I couldn't have awakened him anyway," she said quietly.
The Dragon-boy blinked, then smiled at her, a quick, feral baring of teeth. "Thanks," was all he said. Moving up to the overladen bed, he looked down on the Prince. As he brushed golden bangs away from the delicate face, his eyes lost their hardness. Who would have thought? ...Why am I so nervous?...I hope this works... Leaning in, he softly pressed a kiss to the rose-petal lips below him. Stepping back, he waited to see the effect.
He was rewarded a moment later when eyelids fluttered, and huge lilac eyes peered up at him. Ah, I finally get to see those eyes...and they're just as beautiful as I thought they'd be. "Hello."
The boy stretched, and blinked again. "Hello. Are you the Dragon?"
The Dragon-boy's eyes went wide. "How did you know?" The Prince giggled.
"I had a dream that a Dragon watched over me while I was asleep, and kept me from harm. I hoped that you would be the one to break the spell." He giggled again. "You know, you make a beautiful dragon, but you're even better as a man. What's your name?"
The Dragon-boy smiled fondly at the Prince. "I'm Atemu. And what should I call you, Prince?"
The Prince gave a dazzling smile. "I'm Yuugi."
"Well then, Yuugi, may I kiss you again?"
"Please," the smaller boy whispered breathlessly.
This kiss started just as gently as the first, but soon became so deep and passionate that the pair almost missed the Princess' hissing attempts to get their attention. Breaking away regretfully, the two turned to look at the Princess, who was bright red and pointing towards the door, and then looked to the door of the throne room to see a rather confused King and Queen staring at them.
"Mom! Dad! How was your dinner party?"
And they all lived happily ever after.
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A/N Wow, methinks the tone changed a little in the middle of that one. I hope it was as amusing as I intended it to be. Could you follow who everyone was? I think I gave enough clues . And oh my goodness, Otogi as the Squire was waaay too much fun to write. I was going to have a section with Ryu as a Magician, but he just insisted on being sad, which didn't fit the tone. He's still hanging out in the back of my head, though, so he might get his own story soon. Oh, and the King and Queen? Just made them up. Dunno who they are, but I like them. Thanks for reading!
-Pyr