CHAPTER 35: Test Day
"Of course you all realize, some of these tests will hurt," Dr. Martin, the gray squirrel doctor, said while Sonic, Amy, Knuckles and Rouge were signing themselves in. "Unless you experience a sudden nosebleed, the blood test will be the most obvious one. I will not be administering the tests, so there may be a few more. That decision rests with the director, I'm afraid. The only advice I can offer you is to stay relaxed, and don't be intimidated if someone picks up what appears to be a rather large probe." At this point, everyone's eyes had gone wide.
"I wonder if there'll be more painful tests than the blood test," Amy said nervously. She had been scheduled to be tested first, followed by Rouge, then Sonic, and lastly Knuckles. (Dr. Martin had been scheduled for a later time.) The four of them were presently sitting in a waiting room inside the hospital's quarantined section, wearing rather drab hospital gowns. (They'd been admitted as overnight "guests".) Beyond one airtight security door lay the antechamber leading to the rest of the hospital. Through another door was a testing room, and through the third door was a hall leading to each of the rooms waiting for occupation. These rooms all lacked windows and were closed withairtight doors. However, because of all thesedoors, moving a patient in or out of this section tended to be a delayed process, so the life support equipment in this section was of an even higher quality than that of the rest of the hospital.
"Could be," Knuckles said.
"I already hate needles," Amy continued. "As if the prospect of one being stuck in me for more than three seconds isn't bad enough, now they're probably going to stick some other unpleasant things in me."
"Could be worse," Sonic said. "Just warn them if you have to sneeze, otherwise you'll come away hating needles even worse."
"I wonder if they're going to do the other type of blood test I've heard about," Knuckles said.
"Other type?" Amy repeated, going slightly white. Her quills covered up most of this, but the area around her mouth still revealed it. Before Knuckles could elaborate, though, Rouge gave him a sharp smack on the back of the head.
"Ow!" he exclaimed.
"Stop feeding her that Internet bullshit!" Rouge scolded. "Don't listen to him Amy, he's just trying to see how worked up he can get you."
"I know," Amy said. "But I gotta admit, now I'm curious, if a bit nervous."
"I'll tell you once your tests are over, how's that?" Knuckles said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Alright," Amy said. At this moment, a doctor opened the door leading to the testing room. He walked in wearing a green suit composed of thick plastic, the openings duct taped shut. The suit's face consisted of a large plastic visor. An air line was running through the door, into the back of the suit. The human inside had a kind face, his blue eyes on Amy.
"Ready for you, miss," he said.
"Uh..." Amy said, hesitating.
"I know the suit's intimidating," the doctor said, "but I assure you, there's no reason to be afraid."
"Right..." Amy said, getting up. She looked back at the others. Rouge gave her a thumbs-up, Knuckles grinned, and Sonic gave her a quick nod. She turned back around and walked into the room behind the door. The doctor closed and sealed the door, then motioned to a table with a padded top in the middle of the room.
"Please, have a seat," he said.
"This looks kinda like an operating room, just with less operating equipment," Amy said. Asshe sat down, she looked back toward the door and saw that the doctor's air line was attached to an air pump in the wall.
"We use the O.R. in the outer section of the hospital, even when the patient is resting in this section," the doctor said. "By the way, my name is Dr. Lang."
"I'm Amy," Amy said. "I'd shake your hand, but that's probably not a good idea, is it?"
"I'd say it probably isn't," Dr. Lang agreed. "But I'm rather optimistic, to tell you the truth. You and your friends have shown no signs of any form of illness, except your red friend's slight lack of nourishment."
"He lives on a remote island," Amy said. "It's not exactly the easiest place to pick up a hamburger when you get hungry. Still, he gets by."
"Indeed," Dr. Lang said. "Okay, let's get this out of the way, and you can go back to your room and watch TV or something."
"Alright," Amy said. "By the way, my friend Knuckles was saying something about a different kind of blood test from the normal kind. Any idea what he was talking about?"
"Oh, jeez, not that old wives' tale again," Dr. Lang groaned. "I've heard that so many times, I'm about ready to pass a brick and throw it at someone."
"What was he talking about?" Amy asked. Dr. Lang sighed.
"Well, this originated on an Internet message board, but it apparently gained a lot of prestige," he said. "There's a rumor that, rather than piercing a vein with a needle and drawing blood that way, a woman waited until her period, then collected the fluids in a cup and gave that to her doctor. I don't know WHERE this came from, but it's not a true story. If it were, it would have been documented. Believe me, it's just a fairy tale."
"Well, I think I'd prefer to be able to do that," Amy said. "I mean, it's kind of gross, but then again, I despise needles."
"Don't worry too much about that part," Dr. Lang said. "The process hurts, but it doesn't last."
"That's not much consolation," Amy said. Dr. Lang picked up a blood presure monitor.
"Arm please," he said. Amy complied. "Alright, just make a fist please. Oh yeah, you'll probably feel a little pressure." Amy laughed as she balled up her hand. Dr. Lang strapped the device around her upper arm and squeezed the little rubber ball on the end until the device had inflated. He read the small meter for several moments, then he twisted a little knob and deflated the device.
"How's it look?" Amy asked as she relaxed her arm.
"Fine," Dr. Lang said, removing the blood pressure monitor. "Normally, I'd want to listen to your heartbeat too, but there's no way I'd be able to use a stethoscope through this suit. Ah well, no big deal." He put the blood monitor down and picked up a probe. "Know what this is for?"
"No," Amy said, eyes wide. The probe had to have been at least eighteen inches long.
"Neither do I," Dr. Lang said with a chuckle. "They KNOW these aren't needed for the tests. I THINK they intended for me to do an anal probe, but that really wouldn't help matters any." Amy laughed a little, and relaxed. Her eyes went wide again when Dr. Lang picked up a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball. He wetted the cotton with the alcohol, then rubbed it on Amy's arm. Then he picked up a syringe.
"I don't suppose you have any kind of numbing drugs, do you?" Amy asked.
"We do, but I'd have to inject it," Dr. Lang said. "Figures, huh?" Amy didn't reply. "Just relax, don't move, and I'll do this as quickly as I can." He opened up the plastic the syringe was sealed in, then removed the plastic safety cap. Amy shut her eyes tight and turned her head away. Dr. Lang lifted her arm gently, then pierced her skin with the needle. A few seconds later, he removed it. Amy looked at it, and saw that it was empty.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Your vein rolled away," Dr. Lang said. "Sorry, but I'll have to give it another try." Amy gritted her teeth, turned away, and closed her eyes again. Once again came the pain, but this time, when Dr. Lang removed the needle, the pain came again. Again. Again. After four tries, Dr. Lang gave up.
"Guess you won't be able to get anything, huh?" Amy said. Dr. Lang shook his head.
"There's always another way to do it," he said. "It's not pleasant, either."
"You're not gonna have to pin my vein down with one needle and stick me with another, are you?" Amy asked nervously.
"Nope, just need one needle," Dr. Lang said. "We call it the butterfly needle. Where the name came from is something I still haven't figured out. It's basically just a really small needle, designed specifically for rollers. I'll be back in a moment." He turned and left the room through another door, this one right beside the one leading to the waiting room. He didn't close the door, which meant he didn't have to go far. He opened what looked like a cabinet from Amy's point of view, and as she leaned forward, she saw it was a storage room. She saw the butterfly needle when Dr. Lang pulled it down.
That doesn't look so bad, she thought. That thing's TINY. I probably won't even feel it. Dr. Lang came out holding the butterfly needle and a tongue depresser, which he handed to Amy.
"You might want to bite down on that," he warned.
"Nah, that thing doesn't look so bad," Amy said. "I probably won't feel a thing."
"Alright," Dr. Lang said. "This is very important. DO NOT MOVE, understand?" Amy nodded. Dr. Lang unwrapped the butterfly needle, then lowered it to Amy's arm...
"Wonder how long it's gonna take," Sonic said.
"Shouldn't be too long," Rouge said. "Unless they're doing a really thorough job. Heh heh, bet it's not as thorough as what they did to me during my physical when I went to work for the government. This is probably gonna be a cinch."
"They're probably gonna stick probes up our asses and wiggle them around," Knuckles said.
"Knuckles-" Rouge began, but she was cut off.
"OW! OH MY GOD!" Amy's voice cried out through the door. Sonic, Rouge, and Knuckles all stared at the door, wide-eyed, turning extremely pale. As with Amy, you couldn't really tell, except for the area around their mouths. Even their noses had gone slightly white.
"Uh..." Rouge said, stunned.
"I'm outta here!" Knuckles exclaimed. He jumped up and ran toward the door leading to the rest of the hospital. He punched it as he approached- then jerked his hand back, shaking it. "OW! You mother fucker!" At this point, the door to the testing room opened, and Amy stepped out, holding her arm, fighting back tears. Sonic jumped up and ran to her.
"Amy, what happened!?" he demanded.
"It was that butterfly needle," Amy said through choked sobs. "It felt like a damn knife." Sonic pulled her into a hug, and Knuckles kept shaking his hand. If he'd had any money, he'd have bet it all that he'd broken his hand. Dr. Lang leaned out of the testing room.
"Next," he said simply. Rouge turned her head slightly and looked toward Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy out the corner of her eye. Amy couldn't see her, but Sonic and Knuckles were bothing grinning fairly widely at her. She gave a very small, very nervous laugh, then walked into the testing room. Once Dr. Lang had the door sealed, he turned around and saw that Rouge had already made herself comfortable.
"Let's get this over with," she said.
"Your tone sounds a lot like I'd expect it to if I'd called you in here to rape you," Dr. Lang said. "Well, I'm sure you heard through the door, didn't you?"
"Loud and clear," Rouge said.
"Well, let me console you with this: if your veins don't roll, no butterfly needle for you," Dr. Lang said. "I'm Dr. Lang, by the way."
"Name's Rouge," Rouge said. "How did Amy's tests go?"
"Well, obviously we haven't had time to test the blood sample I took, but her blood pressure seems fine," Dr. Lang said. "I told her that the urine test has yet to come, though. I thought after the butterfly needle, she'd be very unwilling to cooperate any further just yet."
"I would be too," Rouge said.
"Overall, I'm rather optimistic," Dr. Lang said. "None of you is showing any of the symptoms that your friend Tails is showing, which means that you're more than likely in the clear."
"I see you're still not taking any chances," Rouge said.
"Standard procedure, I'm afraid," Dr. Lang said. "I'd like to remove it, myself, but rules are rules."
"So, what tests are you going to conduct, anyway?" Rouge asked.
"Blood pressure, the standard blood sample test, and a urine test," Dr. Lang replied.
"These are pretty secure conditions for something so simple, you think?" Rouge said.
"Hey, I just do what I'm told, or what's best for the patients," Dr. Lang said. "I suppose I should reverse those, though, if you want them in order of importance."
"What's with the huge-ass probe?" Rouge asked, picking up the huge probe that Amy had thought was going to be shoved into her.
"I'd like to know that myself," Dr. Lang said. "I'm thinking that someone intended for me to administer an anal probe to someone, but I don't really think it's necessary."
"You never know," Rouge said. "Maybe they think it's possible that the virus can be spread through contact with fecal matter."
"It's possible," Dr. Lang agreed, "but I still don't think there's any threat there. Seriously, who in their right mind would touch that?"
"Better test that, just in case," Rouge said. "But I think the best place to get the... sample would be from Tails, since he's the only CONFIRMED case of this thing."
"Indeed," Dr. Lang said. "You're quite perceptive, aren't you?"
"Have to be in my old line of work," Rouge said proudly.
"What line of work is that?" Dr. Lang asked.
"I could tell you but I'd have to kill you," Rouge said with a grin.
"Fair enough," Dr. Lang said. "I can understand how some lines of work would be top secret." He picked up the blood pressure monitor. "Well, let's get this out of the way. You're probably not headed anywhere until we've confirmed that you're not going to turn into walking virus machines." Rouge shook her head, then held out her arm: she'd been through all this before, so she knew the drill. After her blood pressure had been taken, Dr. Lang picked up the bottle of rubbing alcohol and another cotton ball.
"That's not a butterfly, is it?" Rouge asked, pointing to the syringe beside where the alcohol had been sitting.
"No," Dr. Lang said. "That one's the regular size. We won't need a butterfly unless your veins roll around. Let's find out, shall we?" He applied the alcohol to Rouge's arm, then he picked up the syringe. Once he'd opened it and pulled off the safety cap, Rouge took a deep breath. She took the needle rather well compared to Amy, not even making a sound. Once Dr. Lang removed the needle, Rouge breathed out and resumed breathing normally.
"Well, that wasn't as bad as I was expecting," she said. "Guess I've forgotten how little those things actually hurt."
"Well, the butterfly sure does," Dr. Lang said as he applied a Band-Aid to the puncture. "I don't suppose you have to use the restroom?"
"Nope," Rouge said. "Even if I did a few minutes ago, when Amy screamed, I'd have lost it." Dr. Lang laughed.
"Alright, we'll do that later," he said. "Go on back to your room or somewhere. Send Sonic in on your way out, too, please."
"I knew something really bad was going to happen in there," Amy said, looking at her arm. She hadn't given Dr. Lang any time to put a Band-Aid on it, so it had bled about as freely as a few tiny holes like those were going to bleed.
"Could've been worse," Knuckles said. "He could've shoved a probe up your- Tails!"
"What?" Amy said, looking at Knuckles. He was looking toward the door leading back to their rooms, which was now open. Tails was standing on the other side of the doorway, looking around. His eyes were only open enough to see. His fur was extremely untidy, and he was panting.
"Tails, what are you doing up?" Sonic asked, walking over to him.
"Go back to bed!" Amy exclaimed. "There's no way you're not still sick!"
"Where are we?" Tails asked in a slurred tone: he was still half asleep.
"Main Street Hospital," Knuckles said, getting up and walking toward Tails. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."
"Leave me alone," Tails muttered. "It's too hot in my room. It's too hot in here, too, in fact." He walked over to Rouge's empty chair and sat down, looking at the floor.
"How are you feeling, besides too hot?" Amy asked.
"I threw up," Tails mumbled. "So I'm not feeling too good. At least the water in my bathroom works."
"Do you still feel sick to your stomach?" Amy asked.
"No, just really hot and tired," Tails mumbled. "Now it's my turn. What are you guys doing in these stupid gowns?"
"They thought we might have caught whatever you have," Sonic said. "They insisted that we stay a couple of nights for testing and observation. Whatever it is you have, it's a completely new strain. They know nothing about it, except that it's a virus."
"Guess it was supposed to go off with the bomb," Tails mumbled. "I wonder how that thin glass didn't break before I got my hand on it. Between Knuckles smashing that robot up and that bomb going off, it seems like it wouldn't have had an icicle's chance in Hell." He looked up at Amy's face for no real reason, and saw that she'd been crying a little. "What happened to you?" he asked.
"Huh? Oh..." Amy said, looking down at her arm. "The doctor had some trouble drawing my blood because my vein rolled around. He had to use a special needle. It felt like a hot knife."
"Jeez," Tails muttered, shaking his head. "I THOUGHT I heard a scream. That's what woke me up."
"Sorry," Amy apologized. "I didn't know I'd been that loud."
"Wait, where's Rouge?" Tails asked, looking around. "Is she being tested right now, or is she in her room?"
"I was being tested," Rouge said, stepping out. "You're up, Sonic."
"Drat," Sonic said. Then he added with some sarcasm, "What perfect timing." He got up and headed into the testing room.
"What are you doing up, Tails?" Rouge asked.
"So Doc, what all are you gonna do?" Sonic asked. "I've gathered that you're gonna be taking blood, but that's it."
"That, your blood pressure, and a urine test," Dr. Lang said. "There would be more, but I was instructed only to perform those three. More extensive testing will be performed on your friend Tails, as he's the only one confirmed to be infected. Blood, saliva, urine, and even a fecal test, I expect. Every possible way that a virus can be spread must be explored. However, we're going to wait until he wakes up, first."
"He's out there right now, Doc," Sonic said. "When Amy screamed, it woke him up."
"He's awake?" Dr. Lang repeated. "And you didn't send him back to bed?"
"We tried to, but he refused," Sonic said. "He said it's too hot in his room, and in the waiting room."
"Well, I'll let him have a few minutes to sit and talk, but once you're finished here, I'm taking him back to his room," Dr. Lang said. "He should be resting, not up and walking about."
"You sure that space suit'll be able to keep out the virus, if it's that contagious?" Sonic asked.
"I'm not worried about catching it from him," Dr. Lang said. "None of you has, as far as I can see. No one's fainted yet."
"You're sure not taking any chances, though," Sonic said.
"I'll tell you the same thing I told Rouge," Dr. Lang said. "Standard prodecure. I'd remove it if I could, but rules are rules. Also, my name's Dr. Lang."
"Sonic," Sonic said. "Pleasure."
"Pleasure's all mine," Dr. Lang said casually. "While I'm still thinking about it, did Tails say anything about how he felt?"
"He said he was really hot, for one," Sonic said. "He also said he's really tired, and that he threw up."
"Uh oh," Dr. Lang said. "I hope he made it to the bathroom first."
"If he didn't, at least you'll have one of the samples you'll need to test," Sonic said. He picked up the tongue depresser that Amy had left behind, rested it in his palm, and knocked on it.
"Good thinking," Dr. Lang said. "Well, time to get down to business. I imagine your blood pressure's probably going to reflect some of the best health I've ever seen, what with all the exercise you get." He picked up the blood pressure monitor and wrapped it around Sonic's arm(you have no idea how repetitive it is typing this...), and inflated it. Sonic already knew to make a fist, and did so without prompting.
"How, if I may ask, do you plan to get a shit sample from Tails to test?" Sonic asked.
"I won't," Dr. Lang said. "Another doctor will. Assuming, of course, that they actually test that." He deflated the blood monitor.
"I think it might be about time for that urine test," Sonic said. "I've gotta go, right now." Dr. Lang handed him a small plastic cup.
"Fill that about halfway," he said. "You know where the bathrooms are, I expect." Sonic left the room.
On the way back in to the testing room, Sonic tried to conceal the cup, but he failed. Miserably. Knuckles busted out laughing.
"Scared of the needle, Sonic?" he exclaimed through his laughter. Sonic just shook his head and walked back into the testing room. Rouge thumped Knuckles on the head again.
"Someone out there's a little tickled, huh?" Dr. Lang asked.
"Do me a favor," Sonic said. "When Knuckles comes in here, come as close as possible to administering an anal probe without actually doing it. We'll see how high and mighty he is once you do that."
"You've got it," Dr. Lang said. "That'll come last, though. I don't want him running out before I can perform the REAL tests." He picked up the alcohol and a cotton ball once more, and rubbed Sonic's arm down. Then came the syringe. Sonic gritted his teeth and groaned a little when the needle pierced his skin, but he didn't make a sound beyond that. Once Dr. Lang removed the needle, he set it on a tray beside the ones containing Rouge and Amy's blood. The spot was already labeled with Sonic's name, which was written a small strip of masking tape.
"All done, I take it?" Sonic asked.
"Yes," Dr. Lang said. "Now, you go to your room or back to the waiting room, and I'll go deal with Tails before Knuckles gets in here."
"You know what Knuckles?" Rouge asked. "When you get in there, I bet you have it almost as bad as Amy had it."
"No way," Knuckles said. "No needle could hurt that bad, not to me."
"Your face sure didn't say that when I looked at you," Amy said. Tails laughed a little.
"The doctor's gonna draw the blood from your crotch, Knuckles," he said, his voice still slurred. "Karma will get you for all the taunting, I guarantee."
"I'll bet you have it even worse than all of us," Knuckles retorted. Rouge thumped him again. He looked at her and said, "Would you stop that?"
"When you do, I will," Rouge said with a frown. At this moment, out came Sonic and Dr. Lang. They both walked over to Tails and looked down at him.
"What?" Tails asked.
"You shouldn't be out of bed, young man," Dr. Lang said. "You're going to have to go back to bed. You need your rest."
"It's too hot in there," Tails mumbled. "And in here. I'm burning up as it is." Amy reached over and put her hand on his muzzle.
"It's just you, " she said. "You're burning up, alright. You don't feel any better than you did last night."
"The tap water in the bathrooms is safe for drinking," Dr. Lang said. "Why don't you go have a drink, then lie down for a while?"
"I threw up on my bed," Tails muttered. Dr. Lang slapped his visor with one hand.
"What luck," he said.
Long chapter, huh? It's not over, either. Knuckles hasn't been tested yet. Heheheheheh. This is gonna be a fun one. Don't worry, I'll include it later... I know, I know, you're just LEAPING for joy, aren't you? Still, just like with the others, his test will have a twist or two, heh heh. Lemme know what you think.