Divorce: Inuyasha's feelings
If someone would have told me I was going to lose my memory and forget everything that ever mattered to me I probably would have laughed at them. But that was the case and to be honest I feel like I'm just letting Kikyou down. I feel like a disappointment and that's the last thing I want to be. When I remembered those little things she was happy and l like seeing her that way but then I realized I don't remember anything else and she looks at me with nothing but disappointment in her eyes. She's trying so hard to deal with this but I know deep down its killing her.
It's like a part of me died in that car accident and that was the man she knew and loved. I hate doing this to her she deserves so much more than what I can give her. It took me awhile to realize that I was doing nothing but hurting her and now that I know I have its best I let her go. I sometimes find myself looking out all our photographs and I see two people who were deeply in love. And I wonder if we could ever have that again I want to believe it but apart of me thinks it's impossible. We've been threw so much since the amnesia I don't think we can go back to what we had. And from what she tells me what we had was real and I feel it even though I can't remember.
When I woke up she was the first face I saw and since that day I felt connected to her but I couldn't explain why. I never told her this but I've fallen in love with her all over again and it wasn't hard to see why I loved her in the first place. She is the kindest, patient, and most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on not to mention supportive. When she found out about my amnesia she could have just given up on me but instead she helped me threw everything.
That is why she deserves someone who can fully love her. I don't even feel like I'm capable anymore and its not because of don't love her because I do. I just feel that she deserves more, and I don't feel like I deserve her love. She could have any man in the world I don't know why she would choose to stay with someone who has amnesia. I came to the decision of divorce because I was wondering what happens if I never get all my memory back. I would just be putting Kikyou in a life of misery and that is the last thing I want for her. Why let her suffer with me when someone else could give her the world. I don't want to leave her but what else can I do but let her go and be happy with someone else.
She'll never really know how much I love her because I haven't been able to tell her and she deserves a man that can tell her he loves her every second of every day and that guy just isn't me.
(Okay I decided to put these two chapters up now because they were so short. Anyway next chapter is where the action is so just stay with me)