A waterfall sings
tunes on outskirts of forest
where no one disturbs
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Just Like You
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She poured the tea with thin, delicate hands, her hair put up in a heavy ceremonial hairstyle that had small jewels dangling from the starkly red ribbons entwined with her black strands. Across of her, he sat in the traditional style, hands placed upon his thighs with a careful formality that was habitual. Her kimono sleeve hung low, the red flowers on a sky-like background rippling with as she drew back the teapot to pour the gentle smelling liquid into her own cup.
"The truth is," she said sadly, "I was terribly jealous, Neji-niisan."
His opaque eyes flicked momentarily to her identical ones, narrowed. "Jealous," he repeated, looking down again before she could decipher his expression. "There was nothing for you to be jealous of."
"I thought it must be so exciting," she continued, bowing her head and sitting back so her position matched his, "to get out of Konoha. It's so silly, but I have never been allowed to leave except for the little missions I participated in as a genin."
He looked up at her, his hands clasped so tightly around the fabric of his black kimono that she could see the whites of his knuckles. This time, however, he did not remind himself of his societal inferiority to her but instead treated her to the full intensity of his stare. A dark flush appeared on the higher edges of his cheekbones as he breathed slowly in and out to gather his emotions together before speaking.
"It's ironic…" he swallowed and reached impulsively for his teacup, lifting it in a steady but tight hand; "I didn't envy you for being allowed to say here and not having to watch your comrades die one by one in a dark, cold cell. You didn't see them rotting away slowly, didn't watch them babble and gurgle in fever, but I didn't hold it against you."
Shaking, he lifted the liquid to his lip and drank it down like a mug of sake. "You know why I was jealous of you?" he asked, bitterly, looking at her with such intensity that something tugged deep down in her belly. "I was jealous that you would have willingly stayed there and cared for them. I wanted to be like you—caring and loving, despite any situation—so that I could somehow ease their passing."
After an uncomfortable silence, in a very small voice, she said, "I'm glad... you're not angry with me. I had thought…" But she didn't know what she had thought.
He smiled, very faintly and somewhat painfully, setting his teacup down and staring idly at the space between their knees, the space they would always have to keep.
"I have no reason to be angry with the person I care the most about."
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Notes: Writtenoriginally for a challenge community on Livejournal.
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Sentomegami
9 October 2005