Warning: This descends into depths of corniness yet unseen in my fics. Proceed at your own risk.
Chapter Eight
Hermione watched in horror as all of her hard work on McGonagall's potion boiled up and out of its cauldron, spilling out onto the workbench. The stuff certainly was powerful, eating through the wood table with apparent ease. Hermione pictured for a split second applying the same mixture to the Transfiguration professor's back and wondered if she had maybe missed a step or two. Certainly, it would be strong, but not like this.
The second thought that sprang to her mind was Severus, or rather Severus' anger. He was going to be furious with her. And to think all of it had been for his benefit. She wondered if he would take any of that into consideration before heaving her out of his dungeons.
She turned around, an apology on her lips, when she saw the arrow protruding from his chest.
"Severus!" she cried, pointing at the arrow just in case he had somehow missed the fact that he had been shot. He seemed to not care, looking down at it only after she pointed it out. Pulling it out, he tossed it to one side.
"Tis but a flesh wound," he said glibly. "The pain is nothing to compared to the agony I feel when you are not by my side."
Hermione gaped in horror. She wasn't sure which was more frightening, the potion that had eaten its way through the wood table and was now sizzling on the stone floor or the way Severus was acting. He was smiling for one thing. And not the normal sexy little smirk that he gave her when she said something clever but a genuine show-your-teeth soppy kind. He hardly looked like himself. It was…unnatural.
He strode to her side, pulling her into his arms and kissing her deeply. She gasped in surprise at this sudden onslaught. She had just ruined a potion, wasting his ingredients and damaging his lab. And instead of yelling and cursing, he was kissing her. Just where did that arrow come from?
"Soul meets soul on lover's lips," he quoted when he finally pulled away.
"Are you okay? What was that?" Hermione asked, feeling his chest where the arrow had hit him. That was odd. There didn't seem to be any hole. It was if it had never happened. But she had seen it. And he had pulled it from his chest himself. She wondered if maybe this was just an extraordinary dream.
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us," he said. That was no answer! Lies within us? Just what did he mean by that? Hermione was confused, and the potion fumes were doing little to help her figure out just what was going on.
"I think perhaps we should get you to the infirmary. There must have been something in that potion that is affecting the both of us." She wiggled out of his embrace and cast a Stasis Charm on the potion, then pulled him from the room. Three Locking Spells later and they were on their way to see Madame Pomfrey.
The dungeons, Hermione soon realized, were quite a ways from the hospital wing. And with Severus hanging on her like a leech, she wondered if they would ever make it. There was also the problem that he kept pushing her into dark corners and trying to take advantage of her. Not that she normally minded what he was doing with his tongue, however, she was worried for his health, mostly for his sanity.
"I love thee, I love but thee. With a love that shall not die. Till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old," he whispered in her ear after kissing her again.
"Oh!" she squeaked as he kissed his way down her neck. "Umm, thank you."
This sudden onslaught of poetry was confusing her. She had never had particularly romantic lovers before. She had spent most of her time with Victor trying to get him to pronounce her name properly for him to worry about flowery words. Although she supposed some of the Russian phrases he had murmured into her hair might have been poetry, but she wouldn't know. Ron was well...Ron. She didn't think he had ever read any poetry, let alone be able to quote it to her. Most of their relationship had consisted of worrying about Harry and consoling each other with quick kisses in between classes.
Should one respond with poetry? She couldn't think of anything but a line she had read recently from Dorothy Parker--That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Hermione was beginning to think that though it might be fitting, it didn't really suit the mood. Frantically, she searched her mind for some rhyme, coming up with, "roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you." Not true but more or less in the spirit of things.
He smiled at her poor attempt. "You're a poet! And I didn't know it." Hermione cringed as he kissed her once more. This was moving from the silly and absurd into painful and awkward. They really needed to get to the infirmary.
"Come on," she said just as two Hufflepuffs rounded the corner headed their way. She didn't want to traumatize them with the image of the Potions master snogging in the hallway. Not to mention she wanted to spare Severus the embarrassment when he finally came to his senses. He seemed not to care about her attempts to save him from himself. He plodded down the hallway behind her, trying to kiss his way up her arm.
"Stop it!" She tried shaking him off but to no avail. "Do you want your students to to see you like this?" She noticed the Hufflepuffs that they had passed were now poking their heads around the corner and stifling giggles behind their hands.
"Ten points from Hufflepuff. Get to class," she said in her best Snape impression. If he wasn't going to act, then she would.
"True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does," he purred.
"Oh dear god!" She threw her hands up in the air and walked off. He followed her like a puppy dog, reminding Hermione why she was a cat person. Cats didn't shadow you every moment, their tongues hanging out while they begged for affection. They were sly and sneaky, only gifting you with their attention when they deemed you worthy. It was a compliment they bestowed on a select few. It was one reason she liked Severus. She felt special because she was one of the few, if not the only, person that he smiled at or laughed with. She preferred scowling Severus to puppy-dog Severus. She had half a mind to kick puppy dog Severus and tell him to stop sniffing and licking her.
They finally arrived in the infirmary. But once there, Severus would only sit and submit to Madame Pomfrey's examination if Hermione consented to staying by his side and holding his hand. Despite being fed up with him, she stayed. He looked so helpless and frightened when he wasn't attacking her with kisses and poetry.
"I think I've found the problem," Poppy announced after performing several Diagnostic Spells.
"What is it?" Hermione asked. She hoped it wasn't her ruined potion. She hoped it was something curable.
"He's been shot with a cupid's arrow. There have been a couple loose in the school today. I keep telling the headmaster it's a bad idea, but he never listens to me."
"But how did one get into the dungeons?" Hermione asked, relieved to know this hadn't been her fault.
"I don't know, but it should wear off in an hour or so," Poppy explained. Hermione looked over at Severus. He was looking at her with that soppy look in his eye again, and she kept batting his one hand away from her thighs while holding the other in a death grip.
"There's nothing you can do before then?" she asked.
"So dear I love you that with you, all deaths I could endure. Without you, live no life," Severus quoted while the two women talked.
"I'm afraid not."
"When I envisioned a romantic evening, this was hardly what I had in mind," Hermione said ruefully. Poppy smiled and patted her on the back.
"There now, you should take advantage of the situation. It's not as though you'll ever see him smile or being romantic again," the matron cooed. Hermione pulled Severus up from the bed.
"Let's go," she huffed. How dare the woman suggest that she would want Severus any other way than the way he was. If she wanted romantic verses and moonlight serenades then she would date some weak-kneed sop. As it was, it was going to be hard work not hexing him while she waited for it to wear off.
Luckily for her it didn't last as long as Poppy had predicted. By the time they reached the dungeons, Hermione could tell the worst was over. He was no longer reciting poetry though he did stay glued to her side. She undid the Locking Charms and they entered the room.
"Oh dear Merlin," Severus moaned. "That went horribly, horribly wrong." Hermione looked from the ruined potion to Snape, and nodded her head. It most certainly had.
A/N: And in order that they appear the quotes belong to Byron, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Shakespeare, Dorothy Parker, Anonymous, and Shakespeare. I'm not counting the Roses are Red poem nor the You're a Poet quote in all that. Please leave a review. Thanks.