A/N: Usually Immaculate Aristocrat made a good point about my use of the word 'dyke' but not 'mudblood'. So let me apologize if I offended any readers, straight or gay, because honestly, I just forget that 'dyke' can be used as a pejorative term. A few years ago, a group of my friends who are fags and dykes made me an 'honorary dyke' because I'm a feminist who doesn't shave her legs and most people think I'm a lesbian anyway until they meet my husband. And plus I champion gay and lesbian causes. So, know that unless I specifically say that those terms were used in an insulting way, that I am saying them in a fond tone of voice, which may not translate well in print, so just take my word for it.

X

XIX

XIXIX "Disgustingly Erotic Fantasies" XIXIX

Harry swallowed hard when Snape walked into the Potions classroom, robes billowing. He had just barely made it to class on time after talking with Luna in the hallway for a few minutes. He had thrown himself into the conversation with her, and was desperately trying to convince himself that the 'uncomfortable situation' currently hidden beneath his robes had only to do with her, and not with his brief and surprisingly erotic encounter with Malfoy.

Because Luna was so awesome. She was the only person in the whole school (other than his few close, platonic friends) who treated Harry like an actual human being. She didn't gaze at him star-struck. She didn't drool over him. She was perfectly friendly, and so very, very… Luna. She had to have been the reason. It had to have been her. It had to have been.

Because Draco Malfoy was so…

Harry had never before noticed how incredibly good-looking Draco Malfoy truly was. Sure, he had heard others talk about it from time to time, but Malfoy had such a vile personality that Harry saw him physically as similarly vile.

But then this morning, as they were leaving the Great Hall, something had snapped. For once, Malfoy had not insulted him, and for once, Harry had to admit that Malfoy was perhaps not the ugliest of people on Earth.

Perhaps, he was even a bit attractive.

Perhaps, Harry had wanted to rip his clothes off and shag him senseless right there in front of Hermione and Ron.

And THAT was exactly why Harry was currently repeating a mantra of 'Luna Lovegood is sexy, Luna Lovegood is sexy, Luna Lovegood is sexy, Luna Lovegood is sexy…' over and over in his head, and concentrating so hard on not looking across the classroom at Draco that he was actually sweating a bit.

Staring at his Potions text laid out before him, he slowly felt his hard-on subside. Luna had gone to her own class, away from Harry, so he was no longer aroused. It had been Luna all along.

He pulled out his quill and turned to the front of the classroom where Snape was explaining the instructions on the board, and he let out a faint whimper. Snape was snarling on about the intricacies and delicacies of bone regrowth potions, angrily snapping his pointer toward the board, but he may as well have been giving Harry a lap dance for the effect it was having on him.

Harry was definitely sweating now, and an altogether alarming amount of blood was coursing to his groin, throbbing in time with Snape's intense lecture. Harry was entranced, noticing suddenly every little movement Snape made. Snape stalked across the front of the room, his robes billowing out behind him, and Harry wondered what he might find beneath those robes. The flick of his wrist as he summoned two similar looking herbs that would be added into the potion at different times and in different amounts sent a shiver down Harry's spine as his hormonal imagination placed that wrist—those hands—on Harry's body. And oh Merlin, those snarling lips…

But the thing was—Snape was one of the ugliest people on Earth.

He wasn't even a bit attractive.

And Harry wanted very much to rip his clothes off and shag him right there in front of the class.

Harry shuddered at the thought, which was both compellingly erotic—and sufficiently disgusting—to make him want to vomit. He glanced over to Malfoy, who was focused very intently (more intently than usual) on Snape. Visions of having his way with the Slytherin slammed into his brain one more time, and Harry could admit to himself that he found Malfoy attractive. The idea of actually shagging him was somewhat repugnant, but not to the point of making him physically ill.

Malfoy turned his head and Harry caught his eye and was overcome by a momentary fear that he was going to start coming in the middle of Potions class. Only a spark of fear of the never-ending humiliation that would surely follow gave him the strength to rip his eyes away.

He didn't even want to think about how many points Snape would take from Gryffindor…

There was a loud snap and Harry turned back to the front of the classroom in time to see Snape glare him down, his arm outstretched to the side, holding the pointer against the board.

"Mr. Potter," he hissed, and Harry raised his Occlumency shields to full-blast, "If you cannot bring yourself to pay attention in this class, you will find yourself down in these dungeons every night this week—alone with me."

He smiled nastily and Harry gulped, thinking feverishly, 'McGonagall naked, McGonagall naked, McGonagall naked, McGonagall naked!'

"Yes, sir," he managed to mutter, turning his eyes back to his book.

"Don't get smart with me," snapped Snape. "I can fill your calendar with detentions! Just wait till I get my hands on you!"

'McGONAGALL NAKED! McGONAGALL NAKED! McGONAGALL NAKED!'

Harry kept this new, less appealing mantra running through his thoughts for the rest of class, while he worked mechanically, wanting only to finish his potion, and not come, before the end of class. Oh, and he really, really, really wanted class to end.

As soon as the bell rang, Harry cleaned up his workstation and swept quickly out of the classroom. Hermione trotted to keep up with him on the way to Transfiguration.

"Harry! Harry, what's wrong? You were acting all weird in class."

"Nothing," said Harry automatically as Hermione caught up with him. In the instant before he looked over his shoulder, it occurred to him to be afraid that he would be similarly hormonal toward her. She was very pretty, after all. But too late! He had looked.

And it was just Hermione, as always. Harry sighed in relief.

"Don't give me that," she said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Harry croaked, "I'm fine!" But he knew she wasn't going to let it go without some sort of excuse for his behavior. "It's uh… boy problems," he said.

Hermione had used the excuse of 'girl problems' to him too many times to count. He had never asked questions, and hoped she wouldn't either. But Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "Harry, guys don't have 'boy problems' like girls have 'girl problems', so what are you—"

She cut off her sentence as a thought occurred to her. She glanced down ever so briefly. Harry automatically lowered his books, afraid that his robes weren't covering the residual evidence of the effects Snape and Malfoy had had on him.

Hermione blushed immediately and said, "Oh. Never mind. Let's go to class!"

XIXIX

It was a total nightmare.

As Draco and Blaise cleaned up their Potions workstations, Draco was very careful not to turn his eyes to a certain Gryffindor who was frantically rushing about to get out of the classroom. He wondered briefly what important obligation The Prat Who Lived had between Potions and Transfiguration. Maybe he was going off to try to impress Luna Lovegood into become straight. That poor, deluded soul.

Draco slapped his head in frustration. Had he just felt sympathy for Potter's plight to woo a lesbian?! Because wanting to shag him was one thing. That was physical. That was carnal. That was beyond what common sense could control. (Although, granted, the extent of his desire to shag Potter on this particular day was alarming to say the least.) But sympathy? Sympathy?!

"Uh, Draco?" said Blaise tentatively.

Draco shot an angry glance to the door as Harry practically ran through it, and immediately regretted it because his erection stiffened right back up, full force. He leaned forward uneasily, trying to regain control. He turned to Blaise and rested a hand on his chest to steady himself.

Blaise clasped his hand over Draco's and looked him deep in the eye in a way that Draco wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with.

He jerked his hand away and stood up straight without too much effort. "What?" he snarled, but then felt bad when Blaise flinched. He must have imagined that look. Blaise was his best friend, after all. "Sorry," he said. "I'm just feeling weird today."

Blaise's eyes flashed with a smile, but it was gone as soon as it came, and Draco missed it completely. Blaise looked at him with concern. "What's wrong?"

And Draco was glad to have Blaise as a friend. As close as they were, he could be an arse and not worry about damaging their friendship, and he could then apologize for being an arse, and not have to worry about whether or not apologizing was the 'Malfoy thing to do' because Blaise would never call him on it. He was comfortable with Blaise, and he liked that.

"I don't know," he sighed as they finished cleaning up their area. "I just feel, ah, distracted today. I keep having the strangest thoughts, and they'd only go away when I focused solely on Snape. And I have a feeling our next class is going to be just as bad."

He wasn't lying.

But he was a bit embarrassed to tell the whole truth. This Potter thing was really freaking him out. It would take an idiot ('or a lesbian,' Draco smirked to himself) to fail to notice how very attractive Harry Potter was. Everyone at the school was drooling over him except for the one person Harry wanted to be drooling over him. It was an irony, really. Harry could have anyone in the school. Anyone except for Luna Lovegood and Draco Malfoy, that is.

Luna just didn't swing that way. Draco? Draco wouldn't swing that way.

It was Potter for crying out loud! Didn't people realize how obnoxious and attention-seeking he was? Did no one else notice that he was a complete moron who stammered his way through even the simplest of sentences, and who only made it into all of his NEWT-level classes by way of blatant favoritism?!

All of that aside, Draco was allowed to find him physically attractive. He was human, after all. But this roaring ball of hormones that attacked him today whenever he saw Potter was completely unacceptable! The only thing that had kept him in check during Potions class was being able to focus on Snape—a good man who Draco respected, but found entirely unattractive.

Draco steeled himself as he walked toward Transfiguration with Blaise. Potter would be there too. Draco felt a glimmer of dread in the pit of his stomach, but he knew what to do. He would just focus intently on McGonagall—that ugly old bat.

He walked into the classroom, and there was Potter, fidgeting in the front while he and that Granger person read over their notes from previous classes. Draco wanted to bend him over his desk and make him squirm, make him scream in pleasure.

He groaned, grabbing Blaise's shoulder for support. Blaise caught him under his arm.

"Draco," he whispered quietly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Draco nodded, trying to look natural for the sake of anyone else who might be watching.

"Fine," he hissed back. "Let's sit in the front so I don't have to look at any other students. I want to be able to focus completely on the lesson."

That's exactly what they did. Potter was sitting four seats over to his left, so plenty of students blocked his view of him. Draco couldn't even see him in his periphery. He pulled out his books and got ready for class, relieved that he had solved the situation for the time being.

Blaise leaned over to him. "Do you want to talk about this later? We can skip lunch and head back to the dorms if you want some privacy."

Draco shook his head, slightly annoyed at Blaise's determination to get him to open up when he clearly did not want to. "I said I'm fine. I've got it under control."

He leaned back in his chair, finally allowing himself to relax a bit. McGonagall entered and he turned his eyes on her, admiring how catlike she was, and imagining running his hands over her lithe old body and nibbling her throat as she purred.

'Oh shit!' thought Draco, slamming himself forward on the desk. 'Not McGonagall too! Potter's bad enough.'

Threesome with Potter and McGonagall…

Draco's groin was aching. He peeked up to the front of the room one more time and McGonagall's tight-lipped, no-nonsense, stern lecture was an all out seduction to Draco.

Panicking, he looked down to his book and did what he always did when he was in danger of losing control… he thought derisively about his two buffoonish roommates.

'Crabbe and Goyle naked, Crabbe and Goyle naked, Crabbe and Goyle naked, Crabbe and Goyle naked…'

But no sooner than Draco had the image clear in his head from this morning's disgusting encounter, he felt a tightening in himself and was revolted to realize that his mental picture was actually turning him on more. He was going to come, right in the middle of Transfiguration!

"Gah!" he yelped, standing up suddenly and knocking his chair over backwards. He was hunched forward so that his robes would definitely cover telling evidence.

"Mr. Malfoy! Do sit down!" snapped the luscious lips of Professor McGonagall.

"Infirmary," Draco panted out, and then shoved his way past Blaise and out the door.

But he didn't go to the infirmary. He went straight to his dorm room and locked the door. He rummaged quickly through his trunk, pulling out an old porn mag he had gotten last year. He flipped through the pages until he found his favorite pic—an orgy of three witches and four wizards. All of them were incredibly good-looking and had especially beautiful bodies. They were in a huge, elegant room, and moved against each other in entirely enrapturing ways.

Draco wasn't about to come thinking about Potter. Potter was a prick. An attractive prick, but a prick. Draco did not want to have sex with him. He wasn't pureblood, he wasn't aristocratic. He was obnoxious. These were beautiful people. These were high-class people. And that one guy there kind of looks like Potter…

And Draco came.

'Damn.'

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N:

Wintermoon2: Sorry, better keep that mental floss at ready. It'll be handy, trust me.

Shania Maxwell: Maybe if Blaise uses polyjuice to girl-ify himself… and duly noted, your vote for Harry/Draco togetherness in the end.

Merit Somnia: Happy and well? How bout none the worse for wear? Will ya settle for that?

Mystikal M3ntalnezz: Thank you, but really, you don't want to get the undiluted ideas in my brain. Poisonous, they are. Icky to boot. Catch ya later.

Hydrangea: Thank you. And um, Luna's just like that. Which might be why Harry thinks he has a chance…

Liber Creperum-LiberDiabolus: Thank you!

Mojo-jojo241: Yes! Yes you may!! Thank you. Hey, everyone! Go check out got some great fics on it, one of which may be mine!

tWiSt3d: Sorry! Sorry! Blaise wasn't really shagging them. Not to say that he won't… oh, um. Did I just say that? What? Concussion! What are we talking about? Who am I? Where am I? Oh, and um… This is the actual plot. It's a light story. Don't go looking for deep meanings. I'm just not up to it.

Isis-mystic: Thanks, and yes. But a sexy one at that.

CS Whitewolf: Ew. That exam sounds absolutely horrid. But it's behind you. One of these days, we'll all look back and laugh. Hope you liked this chapter too. Peace out, sweetie.

Takuto-kun: Ahhh, yesss…. Well, I hope I don't get too bad on this one. Funny, but not stupid… ooh, tough one. Can I do it? Dunno… I'll leave it up to you guys to decide. And I am going to be changing the point of view a lot. I'm trying to figure out how to separate it, because is not showing up my asterisks when they're alone on a line. Don't know what I'll wind up doing when I post this, because the points of view do need to be separated.

Henriette: Because she's sweet and funny and probably the only person on earth who's not entirely stricken with him. Because she's 150 lesbian. Poor Harry.

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: Thank you! And thanks for pointing out the 'dyke' bit. Hope that's settled. (?) And more slashy goodness to come!

Siren of the Darknessflame: Thanks!