Chapter 3

Cut my Wrist and Black my Eye

Lucas sat on the bed in his new room, and stared in awe at the size of the room. It was more than double the size of his old room. He went from a twin bed to a queen size, and he even had his own bathroom. The dressers were made of cherry wood, and he had an overstuffed chair in the corner. When he opened the cabinet across from his bed he found a TV and DVD player. He felt like he was in a five star hotel, except the only thing missing was room service.

Since Donna had left, he had yet to see Dan. It was Deb who showed him around the house, and took him to his bedroom. She told him that dinner was at five thirty, and to make himself at home. He decided to unpack some of his things while he waited. He took out a picture of his mother and him and set it on his nightstand. It would be the first thing he saw when he woke up in the morning and the last thing before he went to bed.

"Is the bastard here yet?" Nathan asked when he entered the kitchen. He was expecting to find his father there, but instead he found Lucas sitting at the table drinking a glass of water.

Lucas tried to ignore Nathan's harsh words, but it hurt to be called that. A part of him wanted to punch Nathan for saying that, but he refused to stoop down to that level. He decided that it would be easier to go back to his bedroom until dinner. He tried to walk away, but Nathan wouldn't let him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.

Lucas didn't respond, and tried going around him, but Nathan grabbed hold of him and pushed him against the wall. He held him there as he drawled, "You don't belong here, river rat."

"Nathan!" Deb screamed when she entered the kitchen and saw the sight before her. She ran up to Nathan and pulled him off of Lucas. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Then she turned to Lucas. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he whispered.

"Lucas, could you give me a minute with Nathan."

"Sure," Lucas replied before heading out of the kitchen.

Deb watched him leave, and when he was out of sight she turned to Nathan and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you, Nate? He's your brother, and I expect you to treat him like that."

"I'm just treating him the way Dad does," Nathan responded.

Deb shook her head. "You're better than that."

Nathan sat in the chair that Lucas had vacated. "I want to like him, Mom, but I don't want to disappoint Dad," he admitted.

Deb put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You leave your father to me."

Tension filled the air as everyone gathered in the dining room for dinner. The tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Even though there were three other people in the room, Lucas felt like he was all alone as Dan and Nathan did everything they could to exclude him from the conversation.

He really wasn't that hungry, so he just played with his food; moving it around in his dish so that it looked like he was eating. However, he wasn't able to fool Dan. "You know, you're disrespecting Deb by not eating the food," Dan stated matter of factly.

"I'm sorry; I'm just not that hungry," Lucas said softly without taking his eyes off of his plate.

Dan slammed his fists hard onto the table and said harshly, "I expect you to look up when you talk. Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?"

Lucas felt tears welling up in his eyes at the mention of his mother. He didn't want to cry in front of everyone. "May I be excused?" he asked.

"No!" Dan replied harshly.

Deb saw how uncomfortable Lucas was, and her heart was breaking for him. "Boys, could you give Dan and me a moment alone?" she asked.

Nathan was the first one to his feet. "I'll be at Haley's," he said.

Lucas didn't say anything as he left the table. He sat at the top of the stairs when he heard Dan and Deb arguing about him. "What is wrong with you?" Deb asked when Lucas was out of sight.

Dan shrugged his shoulders. "I was just trying to teach the kid some manners."

"No, Dan, you were trying to embarrass him. How could you treat him that way; he's your son."

"No…he's Karen's bastard!" Dan shouted.

Deb slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever say that again," She said coldly.

"You made me take that boy into my home because he has no where else to go, but you can't make me care about him because we both know that'll never happen."

Tears were falling from Lucas' eyes as he heard Dan's harsh words. He went from having all the love in the world to having no one. He wondered how a god who was supposed to be so kind and caring could be so cruel. He heard someone coming so he went into his room and slammed the door shut.

He was tired of feeling pain. Ever since he lost his mother that's all he felt. He needed something to take away the pain. He opened the medicine cabinet in his bathroom, but there wasn't anything strong enough to take away his pain. He collapsed to the floor in tears. He leaned against the bathtub as he continued to cry. It was then that he found the object that would ease his pain. He grabbed the razor that rested on the edge of the tub, and stared at it a moment before running it along his wrist. He watched in awe as blood began to flow from the spot where the razor made contact with his skin, it felt good.

The title of this chapter is a lyric from the song "Ohio is for Lovers" by Hawthorne Heights.