Broken Identity Chapter 7: Best of You, a teen titans fanfic

Chapter Seven: Best of You

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Raven awoke with a feeling of peace in her chest as she stared up at the white ceiling before her. That feeling was quick to vanish, however, when she noticed that her hands were bound behind her with a long, heavy rope that refused to come off her hands and that her body, heavily bruised, did not have it's usual blue cloak draped around her form. Her hair, a single lilac strand in her face that she could not force away, smelled of smoke.

For a second, she did nothing but lay there, finally sitting up slowly to look around her. The metal-framed bed she lay upon was the only piece of furnature in the room, and all of the white-washed walls gave the room a heavy, forgotten look. Her blue cloak lay in a torn, fire-burned heap near the door, but for some reason, her head was not with the fire or the mistakes- It was on a vauge and fuzzy memory.

If Robin pulled me from the fire, then why do I... Why am I burnt? Did I fall? And then there was the memory that came back to her, the memory of falling, of landing on her legs among the smoke... Why had Robin released her? What had happened? What was wrong with this? Why would I...?

Slade smirked as he smiled, looking at the helpless girl who was obviously going over the facts of her capture in her head by the way her eyes looked. He was almost happy he had caged the little bird, because, from what he gathered by her next words, she held extra bargining value.

"Robin... He must have let go, and I must have fallen back in... They probably couldn't find me..." Her words were quiet, but Slade heard them, and they fell like a crystal bell to his ear as a wide smirk lit his evil face.

"So Robin let the girl go. How guilty he must feel, believing her to have perished in a fire... He'll grovel to have you back, my dear. A hero on his knees..." Slade's face seemed to move so that the features were arranged more promonently than ever, fixated in evil. With that, he began to glide down the long hall toward Raven's room.

Raven herself made no attempt to move from the edge of the bed. "Robin... Why didn't anyone come back for me?" Her eyes were still looking around the room, although she had gathered that, save some old crates in the corner, nothing in the room was worth her interest.

Slade heard this as he began to punch the keys on the steel door's keypadand hummed to himself, a quiet little melody of pain and anger. "Easiest to manipulate when they're in pain," he said to himself, which made him laughas quietly as possibleas the door slowly slid upwards into the ceiling to permit him to enter the room. Slowly, he kicked the burnt cloak aside as he entered the room, trying to ignore the heavy scent of smoke that floated up to greet him.

Raven tried to draw herself quickly up to full height as she heard a section of the wall raise itself, obviously a hidden door along the wall where she had failed to look. "Who's there? I reconize that I am surrounded and I cannot escape."

Slade laughed. "Lovely surrender speech, Raven," he said, running a hand over the shiny orange side of his mask, but making no move to draw a weapon or make a threat, which puzzeled Raven and, despite herself, she raised her guard. "But I was expecting more of a thank you. After all, I did rescue..."

"Robin rescused me. What really happened? Where did you find me? Did you take me from my friends?" Raven found herself firing the questions despite her instinct to keep quiet and not say a word about anything. Slade found himself smirking ather obvious attempt to hide any and all emotions from him.

"My dear girl, I found you lying on your back in the fire, with burns that your body did a fine job of healing and bruises from escape attempts and the long fall. Had you not been found, you would most likely be dead. Your friends believe you gone, and from what I can tell, they don't mourn for you." Slade folded his hands in front of himself and did his best to look convincing, which took a bit of effort as he wiped the smirk from his thin lips.

"You... You're lying!" Raven shot, feeling her temper work it's way up. "What did you really do, Slade?"

"Dear child, I may be a cold-hearted man who's made many mistakes, but when it comes to your friends and your abandoned situation, I wouldn't lie to you." Slade paused for a second to plan what to say next. "However, you would make an excellent addition to my team rather than to the very people who are making no attempt to find you."

Raven said nothing, the silence tense and long. They would never abandon me... They're my family, my friends, and this... She tried to bring her bound hand to her forehead, but that failed to work, so instead she stared at the far wall and tried to keep her emotions inside. "I..."

Robin... I tried to tell him things would never work between us... And maybe he really doesn't love me. Maybe I should just go along with my instincts...I at least have to try to stay alive, and Slade is sure to kill me if I don't... At any rate, I have to do this, just survive long enough to talk to Robin.

"What do I have to do?"

"A wise choice, child." Slade held out a long black cloak to her. "Come, we have much to discuss involving you, your supposed death, and how you have come to be here..."

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Robin was pacing the living room of Titans Tower- Another day of searching. Three days had gone by since Raven had gone missing, and every time he looked over to the couch and saw no one there the pain welled up in his heart and he wept. Starfire had not been approching him recently, seeming to have decided that Raven would have been the better choice anyway. She was often heard muttering words of their friend, and it was decided that she had never really held the training session with Robin against Raven.

Mainly to keep the leader sane, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Starfire continued to search the city for signs of their team member. Her signal was gone- Either her communication had been smashed in the fall or had burned in the fire with her body. Cyborg shuddered to think that Raven could have just died that easily- It didn't feel right that someone who had survived so much would just perish in a fire.

"We'll find her, dude. Calm yourself." Beast Boy tried to get thier leader to lighten up, although it wasn't much use. Instead of giving an audiable, human response, he smashed the small keyboard in front of him with a tightly-clenched left fist. "Um, if that's calm..."

"We have to find Raven!" I refuse to accept that she might have died in that fire. I refuse to accept that this is all my fault, that I killed her without meaning to... I refuse to admit I'm not the hero Raven told me I was!

"I am sure that we can locate Raven," Starfire said, although the lie hit her hard in the heart. Even if she didn't feel so much toward Robin anymore, lying to him, letting him go on in this mad delusion, was a stab at her heart every time she was forced to lie to him. "We will just require more time."

"How much more time can you have! Raven's alive, and she's probably in pain, or..." He trailed off and lowered his voice a few decibils from his yell. "Sorry, Starfire."

"It is all right. You are just in pain and grief... Raven would have called this 'denial,' although I am not sure what that means." Starfire didnt' seem to understand the insult that was, which earned her a glare from Robin all the same, who's temper was already visably pressed to the limits.

Without another word, to avoid another yelling match, he got up and left the room, walking out of the room and throwing his cape so that it rested in front of him and around his shoulders much like a blanket. Slowly he stepped outside and into the light drizzle of rain that had started around him. It mixed well with the single tear falling down his face. "I failed."

"I failed to protect Raven. I failed to even realize what I was doing... I've done nothing but abuse myself these past few days... She really is gone..." The rain fell quickly down his face and he let it do so, letting it mix with the salt water that fell from his eyes.

"I can't give up that easily. Raven... She's alive!" The words quickly came out. Maybe I am in denial, but I can't let go of the only person and thing that ever mattered to me. It... I just can't.

"I'm going to find you, Raven. I swear I'm going to find you." Even if it means I have to resist reality to do it.

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Robin sighed- Five days. Raven was all but likely to be gone, but he couldn't believe that, not now, not ever. The call that came on wasn't meant to stop him dead in his tracks, or change his day or his life, and yet it did, when the villan reported was said to be one of their own working along-side of Slade. "WHAT!" Robin hollored as Cyborg read the report. "Raven... She wouldn't!"

"Robin, you've gotta calm down. People may not know what they've seen... After all, Raven probably isn't..." Cyborg bit back on the word 'alive', knowing it would set Robin off. "Probably isn't involved."

Instead of an answer, Robin's body shifted into an auto mode, mostly run by his own adrenline. He ended up in the doorway, panting hard with the door before him letting the last rays of the dying sun into the room. "Come on! Titans, let's go!"

The others sighed. By the time they were outside the door and within sight of Robin, Robin was strattling his motorcycle, reving it while he waited for them to take their respective positions. Cyborg ran to his car and ignored his seatbelt- There was no one shotgun to remind him to put it on anyway.

Robin's mind was racing as he began to fly forward. Would Raven really have done it? Robin wondered. Did I do something to her? She has to be alive, but... I hurt her, and I left her... Could I have killed her? No, I didn't, but I must have...

He heard both the tires on the R-cycle and Cyborg's car squeak as he almost missed a turn down a narrow side-street. The black aura should have been enough to give him a hint or a warning, but he ignored it and continued to move closer and closer to what he assumed had to be the battle scene.

Slade smirked to see them coming. "Just like I told you, Raven. You are the bait, and they will flock to you. Bring Robin to me or die trying, understood? You'll also die if you refuse my plan, so I would suggest you..."

"Shut up. I know what I'm doing." Raven could feel her heart racing, her nerves already on edge, and Slade standing behind her was not making things any better. "My other friends won't be harmed in this, understood?"

"Do you really think you're the boss of me, little Raven? They're free targets until you bring the boy back to me. You don't make the rules here. I do." He paused, trying to think of something else to say that would put his new apprintice in her place. "Oh, and might I add that the outfit of evil suits you?"

Raven's cloak had been replaced with a heavy, black one, the orange 'S' symbol resting on the crest of the hood, a smaller verson of the same 'S' placed on the right side of her chest. All her red gems, both in her belt and at her wrist, had been replaced with orange ones, and her eyes were full of a strange hate as they watched Slade. Instead of answering him, however, she began to glide slowly forward, in the direction of her friends.

Robin was, in the meantime, running about thirty yards in front of the rest of the team, in the direction of the gliding figure in all black. Part of him was relieved- If it truly was Raven, then he hadn't killed her. On the other hand, it meant Raven hated him enough to change sides, to go to the thing she hated most with the hopes of getting rid of Robin. He was aurging into his communicator. "You three take Slade. I can win Raven over if I just..."

"Man, do you know how much emotional stress you'll be putting on yourself? Let us tackle Raven, you go after Slade!" Cyborg was holloring, trying to catch up with Robin.

"Yeah, man. Your feeling's will get in the way and then you'll really be in trouble. Let us handle Raven!" Beast Boy was trying to be firm and insistent, helping Cyborg, but instead he caused Robin to explode.

"Beast Boy, you really need to learn to keep your mouth shut. I'm the leader, and what I say goes! I am handling Raven!" With that, he snapped the small round disk shut, temper still throbbing through his veins.With that, he was within five yards of the figure- And could tell it was Raven who stared at him from under the long black cloak, something unreadable crossing her eyes.

"Raven! You're alive! Why are you...?" Before he could ask the rest of his question, however, he was slammed in the small of his back by a hurtled garbage can and fell to his knees. The rest of the team had already been confronted by a smirking Slade, who was making gestures behind Raven's back that he knew she could see.

My friends... I have to make Robin understand and save them... I have to get out of this... This is life or death now, and I have totreat it like that. Determination showing in her face now,Raven planted a kick on Robin's downed body, trying to ignore the self-hatred and pain she was feeling. "Robin..."

"Raven... Why would you do this?"

Raven bit back the urge to tell him she didn't get a choice as she hit him again. Robin stood, resolving to fight back even though he felt weak, powerless. "I don't want to do this... But I won't lose if this really is the path you've chosen, Raven."

"Robin, you and I need to talk... I can explain, but you'll have to defeat me before I can... I have to take you to Slade if you want to save anyone's life. He'll hurt our friends... He'll kill me, he'll kill you... And I can't let that happen." And with that, Robin found himself laying flat on the ground again, trying to comprehend what Raven had just said as she stood above him.

The fight had to happen now.

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...

The other members of the team watched with an increased level of shock as Raven threw their beloved leader to the ground. "Why would friend Raven do such a thing?" Starfire asked, visably shaking despite all attempts to control herself. Slade, on the other hand, had stopped fighting with them to watch with a look of mild amusement on his twisted face.

"Your friend really would do anything tosave you. She's very confused right now, oh yes... She not only believes herself abandoned and forgotten, but she believes she can keep anymore harm from coming to you if she brings your leader to me. Gulibile little thing, really..." Slade smirked, his face mocking them.

"So you're the reason she's trying to hurt him! You..." Beast Boy trailed off, any and all words he could have said trailing off at the tip of his tounge from his memory. "You're using Raven to get what you want!"

"The little girl doesn't even realize I'm going to keep her alive once I have what I want... She'll be a good reminder to Robin of why he will not mess up as long as he's in my service." With that, he moved forward on Cyborg, blocking the battle from view as the Titans were sent back into a whirl of action. However, Slade's good mood was apparent in his fight, and he dodged them at every turn as if their attacks were nothing.

"You're going to pay for manipulating Raven!" Cyborg hollored, almost landing a sonic cannon blast on Slade but instead hitting the nearby brick wall as Slade, using his bo-staff for leverage, made his way to the doorframe of the next building by the time the blast reached where he had been standing only moments before.

"My dear, it's not my fault Raven let me get the best of her. This could all have been easily avoided if she hadn't been so willing to believe that she could see the people she loved again, or that she could have manipulated me into letting her go." Slade's face lit up as Beast Boy charged at him and he used the staff for leverage yet again- Now he was closer to Starfire, although her attacks were fuzzy and unfocused as she heard Beast Boy hit the wall and she was managing to miss Slade at every turn.

"Raven's not the only one, either," he added vaugly. "I can easily get the best of all of you just by standing here and talking. I could tell you about your friend's pain, or about how hopeless the situation is, or how useless you are..." Shot after swift shot missed him, which was proof that his plan was working quite well.

Almost too simple, Slade thought to himself with a chuckle.

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Robin sighed- This was a stalemate. Something in him could tell Raven didn't actually want to finish him, didn't actually want to hurt him, but continued to drive on the half-hearted battle anyway. "Raven, you have to just tell me what's going on if you want us to get out of this..." His eyes glanced toward the other battle- Their friends were being defeated as he spoke, and the time he was wasting wasn't going to help them.

That was when her voice came toward him. "Robin, he's going to kill... To kill all of you if I don't do this for him. I have to do this, don't you understand? You and I... I have to take you over there, and we have to find a way to escape so that he doesn't kill you, or Beast Boy or Starfire or Cyborg. It was this or be killed."

"So you just let him abuse you? You just turned your back on the team, on the people who love you... So you just turned your back on me? You just let him play up on the pain inside you and turn you into his minion? He'll never keep his word, Raven!"

"Do you think I haven't thought about that? But Robin, if I hadn't done that, then I really would be dead, and... I didn't want to die because then you would have blamed yourself..." Raven turned her face away from him. "I know I'm being stupid, but I just couldn't make you go through that..." With that, she noticed Slade watching her and threw another punch at him.

Robin caught her fist and flung her backward, to the ground, so that she was laying there. "Raven, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you... It just seemed like..." I can't do anything right. Now I've upset her...

Blood was coming out of a narrow cut along her left shoulder where, when Robin had thrown her back, the fabric had ripped and her skin had recived a shallow wound. Rather than healing it, she let it go and continued to bleed. "What about when you betrayed the team? Did I give you hell for it? You weren't even trying to save any of us. You..." Her voice trailed off, the bitter edge to it taking him aback.

"Raven... Raven, I didn't mean..."

"Maybe I was right for trying to break up with you back at the tower... You and Starfire probably don't fight like this... She probably doesn't try to insult you... Or end up doing things that break your heart..." With that, Raven moved away from him, moving backwards along the ground and trying to ignore her bleeding wound.

"Raven!" Robin called, but it was too late- Slade had seen them, possibly heard her words, and was coming up behind her with a quick, loose stride, pursued by the other Titans with a quickness in his step. His hand came out of nowhere and, before she knew what to make of it, Raven had been lifted off the ground.

"We had a deal, apprintice," Slade said. "You failed your end of the deal, now I get to do what I promised I would do if you didn't..." He turned to Robin. "Are you going to attack me, or are you afraid for your little girlfriend?"

The words struck at Robin's heartstrings. "Titans, get him!" Robin called in complete desperation. Despite the fact that Raven was looking at him with a hollow, empty look, presumably the look of a broken heart, he couldn't leave her there. I promised I'd find her, and now I have to protect her.

Slade dodged four out of the five attacks, but it was highly doubtable that he had been prepared for Raven's attack as she landed a black-fisted blow to the side of his face. "Stop trying to get the best of me, Slade! You're a liar and a theif, and you threatened people you had no right to threaten just to get through to me..."

Slade grimanced: This was not working out as planned. Without another word, but witha meaningful look at Raven, he turned on his heel and began to run, running away from them quickly. He paused for only a second anduttered a few words."I'll be back, Robin. You will join me like the evil you are. The facade of hero is all a lie, after all."

"Titans, get..." Robin started to call the command, to give the chase, but his eyes instead fell on Raven, who's open wound was bleeding and her face was set in a tight mask of pain.

Nothing had gone according to plan, not for Slade, and not for Robin. As he stared into Raven's eyes, he found that he could not read them- And that scared him more than hate ever would have.

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

It was late by the time a now fully-healed Raven emerged from her small bedroom to join the realm of the living, or at least the living room of the Titans. I let Slade get the better of me, and it took all I ever really had to find my way back here... I hurt Robin, I hurt my friends... Maybe I should just clear out and leave...

Starfire gave Raven a hug as soon as the doors opened to reveal the other girl. "You are unharmed and..." As Starfire began to babble, Raven's eyes went to the other end of the couch, to where Robin was sitting with his arms and legs crossed. He looked up, but refused to meet Raven's eyes even with his masked ones.

"Raven." Robin's voice sounded rather hoarse, unused to an extent where Raven could easily believe he had not used it since the battle yesterday. "Glad to see you're okay."

She gave a cold, stiff nod, but nothing more. She no longer felt like being a fool to Robin or anyone else, nor did she feel much like talking. Cyborg seemed to sense this when he gave her a plate of food and left her alone in the kitchen. No one came in to disturb her, a welcome change.

"I just thought if I started over here, no one would trick me... I forgot that I never should have let Slade take advantage of me, and I let my feelings guide..." Raven sighed. No matter how many times it came down to it, she should have escaped, or died trying, rather than fought with Robin on that rooftop.

"I refuse to let myself love him anymore. What he said..." The words still burned in the back of her mind and she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort, suddenly feeling very, very small.

Robin lay in his bed that night, listening to Beast Boy's snores resonating through the tower. "Raven... Someone got the best of me, something inside me, and I hurt you..."

He resolved, against his own strong will, to try to talk to her the next day. I've screwed things up so much... Nothing else could go wrong, could they? I really didn't mean to... Raven...

Sadly, something else can always go wrong, as he was soon to find out.

Raventhedarkgoddess: Best of you, by the Foo Fighters. I don't own the song... R+R. Sorry this is such a crappy chapter, I'm half-asleep.