Broken Identity Chapter 9: Getting Away With Murder, a teen titans fanfic

Raventhedarkgoddess: Just a small warning, this chapter was born of anger and may be riddled with error, not to mention just a bad chapter.. Song: Getting Away With Murder, by Papa Roach. Enjoy if you can.

Chapter Nine: Getting Away With Murder

Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness,
I need to calculate,
What creates my own madness.
And I'm addicted to your punishment,
And you're the master,
And I am waiting for disaster.

Raven and Robin were sitting together in comfortable, understanding silence when the alarm finally went off, ringing and scaring them both so that Robin dropped her hand and stood, getting up off the couch and doing what appeared to be a very controlled run over to the computer.

"Slade." He spat the word with hate and anger, eyes locked on the screen as the other three Titans began to come into the room. "We're going to finish this tonight!"

"Are you sure you want to just charge right in there?" Cyborg asked Robin nervously, knowing that Robin's true problem came when he grew spiteful, hateful, and failed to think things through. "I mean, we don't want anyone getting hurt, and you could just be running into a trap..."

Robin grumbled something inaudiable- He had stopped listening to his friends long ago, stopped listening to anything but the alarm, the ideas in his head of payback and punishment for Slade. He's not going to rule my life like this anymore, he thought to himself. Never again.

"...Might be right, Robin." Raven had taken his wrist in her pale hand to stop him from subconciously hitting it off the keyboard. "Are you sure we won't get into any kind of trouble?"The expression written on her face said it all- She was still slightly afraid of Slade, although she would never admit that to anyone.

"No. We're going to be fine, just fine." I'm going to make it fine. "We're going to win, and Slade is going to be sorry he ever messed with the Teen Titans." As he said these words, he found his fingers clenching around Raven's. She winced slightly but said nothing- It wasn't as if Robin had meant to hurt her.

"So we are going?" Starfire asked slowly, watching Raven's face from where she stood behind Beast Boy, seeing the grimance that came to her face. "We shall go and defeat Slade?"

Robin suddenly dropped Raven's hand and ran his fingers over hers apoligetically- He really hadn't meant to hurt her. "I'm sorry, Rae... It just kind of happened, I didn't mean to..."

Raven shushed him. "I know you didn't mean it." All the same, though, she pulled away from him and forced her hood up, which masked her beautiful face from him and widened the gap he hadn't been able to shake the feeling still existed between them, in spite of all their love for each other.

"Come on, then!" Beast Boy called, standing between Cyborg and Starfire. "Are you guys going to kiss and make up or save it?" Raven glided over, presumably to wack Beast Boy in the head, but Robin found himself looking out into the dusky grey night.

"I'm coming for you, Slade," he whispered. "And you'll be sorry you ever hurt the people I care about." And with that, Robin turned, just in time to see Beast Boy take a fantastic blow to the head from Raven.

The jovial nature between the two was a bad example of humor, and did no justice in forshadowing the dark events to come, events not even Robin could have predicted.

I feel irrational,
So confrontational,
To tell the truth again,
I am getting away with murder.
It isn't possible,
To never tell the truth,
But the reality is I'm getting away with murder.
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away)

I drink my drink and I don't even want to.
I think my thoughts when I don't even need to.
I never look back cause I don't even want to,
And I don't need to,
Because I'm getting away with murder.

Robin found himself looking up in eager anticipation of the battle, focused on the beating Slade was going to recive. The scene was typical of one Slade might start- A few homes burned brillently in the outskirts of the city, lighting up the night sky like sick, horrible torches. "You won't hurt anyone else!" Robin shouted, and rushed forward, leaving the others to quickly scramble after him.

Slade turned with a smirk on his face. "I honestly didn't think you'd show up, Robin. So nice to see you all looking so safe and happy... It really ruins my day. We'll have to change that, now won't we?" His eyes fell on Raven. "I'm sure your girlfriend would be proud to assist me again, and..."

Robin struck out. The blow had come from nowhere- Slade hadn't been prepared for such a forceful blow and staggered, which appeared to be all Robin needed, because he jumped on Slade with afrightening amount of force, much like a tiger going in for a final kill. "You leave Raven out of this! You're not going to manipulate or hurt anyone else, do you hear me! I'll make sure of it!"

"My my, aren't we defensive...?" Even though Slade was actually a bit afraid- Anger had a tendency to make Robin strong as well as less accurate- he refused to stop mocking the young boy. "I thought you would have learned the first time, why defend her honor when she doesn't have any honor for you to defend?"

That triggered another stream of punching, Robin's words coming as rapidly as his arms, which were pounding every inch of Slade they could reach, first his mask, then his chest, slamming him over and over in a pure, straight rage no one had ever seen from him before.

Slade managed to gain slight leverage with his bo-staff- Just enough so that he could shove Robin off his chest- and stood up, towering over the boy with his usual smirk on his face. "It really isn't polite of you to assalute an unready enemy, Robin."

"And it really isn't polite of you," Robin shot back, whipping out his own bo-staff, "To breath the same air as the innocent people you torment and kill to try to get to me!" The staffs clashed with slight sparkage, and Slade planted his feet a bit further into the concrete- Robin was not making this as easy as had been hoped.

Slade let out a little laugh. "Is that the best insult you could come up with? I don't care if you think I'm indecent. You're the one that abandons the people you're now trying to protect, the one pretending to be a hero. You just came back to them because you had nowhere else to go, because you knew they'd take you back. You're as pathetic and spineless as I am, Robin." He lept a few feet into the air, neatly avoiding a forcefully flying bo-staff. "So who's really the indecent one?"

"SHUT UP!" Robin snapped, losing his control (what little he actually had left) and catching Slade with a swift smack that knocked his staff away from him, so that it rolled and clattered to the other side of the pavement, landing at Raven's feet. Raven watched the brawl in absoute shock, rooted to the spot.

How can he be doing this...? Raven thought, still frozen to the spot. How can he really be so cold, so full of hate... Do I really matter that much to him, or is this a grude match...? What's going on? Even though it was the last time she should be having stray thoughts, it just kind of happened, and Raven found herself unable to shake the horrible feeling of a churning stomach, watching what had now become a match of man to man, both staffs having been discarded by the opponent.

"Dude, what is Robin's problem?" Beast Boy asked Cyborg in a small voice. "It's like he wants to beat Slade so badly that Slade will never rise again..."

"I think that might be the case." Cyborg heard his own words with some shock, even though he had known it to be true all along. "I think that's what he's trying to do."

Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness,
I need to calculate,
What creates my own madness.
And I'm addicted to your punishment,
And you're the master,
And I am craving this disaster.

Starfire reached out a hand and touched Starfire, which caused the other girl to give a start and jump a few feet, bending a small lamp post behind them. "Friend Raven, are you all right?"

"I can't believe this is happening... Starfire, I don't want him to become a murderer... He's a hero, so what does he think he had to prove by beating Slade?" She watched Starfire shake her head listlessly and sighed- The only person who knew the the answer was now about to kill someone, and she would never know.

"This is completely irrational..."

Robin didn't quite know where the anger had come from, but it was as much a part of him now as anything ever was- The punches, the kicks, the desire to hurt Slade until Slade completely gave into the pain, was there now. He could see nothing else but his own hands, destructive hands. "If I'm not a hero, then at least I can do a favor and kill the man who showed me what I really am!"

"Robin, you're only going to hurt more people if you murder me." It was not a plea but a statement.

"It's not murder!" Robin snapped. "If you'd just give up, you know I'd stop!" Even as he said that, however, he dealt a strong blow to Slade's face, causing him to let out a moan of pain. "But you won't give up, will you!" Robin found him to be beside himself with fustration he didn't understand.

"You wouldn't. You're determined to kill me. And besides, a true man would never give up to the likes of you. You could be so much more than this... I'd even bring your little girlfriend as a pet, if you'd let me."

"That does it! You never talk about Raven like that! NEVER!" The next blow brought something that caused Raven to bury her head in Cyborg's side to avoid looking anymore- There was a loud, sick crack, the breaking of a human bone, and Starfire hid behind Beast Boy.

"Oh, now look what you've done..." Slade hissed. "Not a murder, a hero. I'll remember that one. Well, live a good life as a hero... And I'll see you in hell, Robin."

Robin was about to retort, but he looked back at his friends: the guys stared at him through wide eyes, each trying to comfort one of the girls, who seemed truely afraid of the scene before them. Robin sank to the ground next to Slade and heard a dead sound- Slade's last breath went out in a weak rattle.

"I caused this disaster... What have I done?" Tears slid through the crimsiom flecks on his face, and Robin wept there on his own, hands buried in his head.

How could I have... Why did I let myself lose everything like that?

Raven, I am so, so sorry...

I feel irrational,
So confrontational,
To tell the truth again,
I am getting away with murder.
It isn't possible,
To never tell the truth,
But the reality is I'm getting away with murder.

The three guys were sitting alone on the couch three days later,- Raven and Starfire out for a long walk, Raven claiming she needed to get out of the tower- eyes avoident and very hesitant to speak. Robin had said almost nothing in the three long days, nor had he once looked at Raven. The others were afraid to say anything at all for fear of his temper, and so they sat in silence.

"Do you think she'll even want to talk to me again?"

"You could just try talking to her," Cyborg suggested. "I mean, you haven't even made eye contact with her once. As afraid as she is of you, I'm sure she'll understand."

"That's what I'm afraid of, that she won't understand. I don't even really understand why I let myelf get so irriational... I mean, I hurt her. I hurt Starfire and you two."

"This is Raven, dude," Beast Boy pointed out. "If we can forgive you, she can forgive you. She loves you."

"I guess I'll have to talk to her..."

I have to talk to her. I'm sorry I murdered someone. I've screwed up. I'm not a hero, I'm a liar and an idiot. Raven...

Raven, please don't have condemed me for getting away with murder.