Tombstone meets Tombstone!
A/n: Okay, another EXTREMELY random idea that occurred to me reading Tombstone fanfics on an empty stomach.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tombstone the movie or Tombstone the pizza.
"I'm hungry," said Wyatt Earp.
"You've said that 3 times already, Wyatt," said Morg
"Well, why don't we eat?" asked a very annoyed Birgil
"What do you suggest we eat?" asked Wyatt.
"I don't know, steak?"
"We've had steak for 2 nights in a row."
"Well, then what about Chinese food?"
"Where the hell are we going to get Chinese food from?" asked Wyatt.
"Well, then… let's go visit Doc!" said Morg.
"An excellent idea," said Wyatt. So they went to Doc's place.
"Cough. I am sick, but I'm going to ignore that till I fall over with exhaustion." Said Doc.
"Awesome. Hey, we're hungry." Said Wyatt.
"Really? I was under the impression that you were going to ask me to help you fight Cowboys." Said Doc.
"Naw, we'll do that tomorrow. Right now, we're hungry."
"Well then, let's have pizza." Said Doc. They all agreed.
((30 minutes later))
"Well, it's pizza." Said Wyatt slowly.
"Yes, but it's also frozen." Said Morg
"Well, then throw it in the fire for a few minutes," said Doc, waving his hand vaguely to the fireplace and throwing his head back to finish another shot. This they did, and the cheese melted and all that goodness.
"mmmm… cheese," said Morgan randomly as he started eating his piece.
"Yes, but I don't really like pepperoni," said Birgil
"Oh please, pepperoni is the best," said Wyatt.
"I beg to differ, old friend. 'Tis the Canadian bacon that makes a pizza a pizza," slurred a drunken Doc Holliday.
"You're all wrong," said Kate, coming in randomly and watching them stuff their faces, "Supreme pizza kicks the hell out of all other pizzas. It is their king, supreme ruler of… pizza land." She finished lamely. Slowly, she backed out of the room and ran off.
"Well, well, well, if it ain't the great Wyatt Earp, eating pizza with his pansy brothers. And Doc Holliday, the Latin speaking gunslinger," said a very-full-of-himself Johnny Ringo. Doc coughed in greeting then went back to his pizza. Wyatt just gave him the "I'm going to kill you later in the movie" look, whilst his brothers gave him the "We're going to get mortally wounded by you later in the movie, boosting our brother into a level of pissed we never knew existed" look.
"So, seein as how the Cowboys' funds are a little short this month, we're going to need a, uh, donation of food for the starving Cowboys. Yeah… so hand over the pizza!"
"This is my pizza," said Wyatt Earp in a dangerously low voice, still giving him the "I'm going to kill you later in the movie" look.
Johnny scoffed and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, 20 Cowboys walked into the small room and stood there, looking dangerous.
"We're awful hungry, and if you don't give us that pizza, we're going to kill you."
Suddenly, half of the Cowboys got claustrophobic and ran off. At the same time, Wyatt and the gang suddenly gobbled up the rest of the pizza in 5 seconds flat.
"Looks like you'll have to look for food elsewhere, Johnny," said a triumphant Wyatt, grinning at him.
"GRR! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS WYATT!" yelled Johnny. He charged at him.
"BRING IT ON, PANSY!" yelled Wyatt. Then Johnny stopped suddenly.
"Who are you calling a pansy? I'm not the one who… who…" suddenly, Johnny couldn't think of a comeback. "I CHALLENGE YOU!" he yelled instead.
"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!"
"Tomorrow, the OK corral. We settle this once and for all." Said Johnny in a dangerous tone.
"I'll be there! And I'll go easy on you too!" said Wyatt
"That comeback made no sense!"
"Neither does you face!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, really."
Finding nothing further to say, Johnny stormed out. A few minutes passed
"Wyatt, you do realize that this duel is utterly pointless, don't you?" asked Morgan finally.
"Pshaw! We're not going to let him just take our pizza are we? Those Cowboys are getting too… too…" he trailed off, trying to think of a word
"Undermining? Arrogant? Out of hand?" suggested Doc.
"Yes, thank you. They're getting out of hand! And someone needs to do something about it!"
Birgil sighed. "We should never have ordered pizza."
Doc took another drink and fell over with exhaustion.
THE END!
A/n: … yeah… that was really random… don't hurt me, please. :)