Thanks for all your reviews! I've been staying at my friend's house for 3 weeks so I haven't been able to write much let alone update it so I know this is way overdue, sorry!

Sometimes you just don't get it

Even though the past few visits to the therapist hadn't exactly been the worst of their problems, the effects it had had on Kirsten and her alcoholism had been perfect. She had finally come to terms with her problem and since then she had only improved. Her relationship with Sandy had become more strained even though they both didn't want it to be that way. It's just that they couldn't pretend and go back to how they used to be unless the talked, seriously talked, through all of their problems that had arisen over the past year. Kirsten was still staying at Suriak Treatment Centre while she was still enduring group and individual therapy appointments as well as the couple's therapy ones with Sandy. Sandy would come up every Monday and Thursday so that they could attend the appointments that had been recommended to them by one of Kirsten's therapists.

Sandy knocked on the door; he had arrived thirty minutes early as traffic had been considerable lighter on the way over.

"Kirsten, are you there? I'm a little bit early; I thought we could spend some time together before the appointment."

"Hi Sandy, come in. I was just sitting around so you weren't interrupting anything."

Since when were things so polite between us? Sandy thought to himself. Ever since we started going out we have always been pushing each other's buttons, playing around, and now we have come to this. I know Kirsten is upset with me, I suppose I'm upset with her too. I really want her to know how much I love her, care about her, and want her to happy. As he was thinking this he walked over towards her bed and sat down on it. He turned to her,

"Kirsten, come here."

"Sandy, I'm really not in the mood."

"No I know, I didn't mean it like that. Just come and sit with me. I haven't actually been alone with you for so long, I miss it so much. I just need a reminder to get me through the rest of the time while you're here."

She walked over to where he was sitting and dutifully sat down next to him. He put his arms out and she obliged and leant in towards him as he held her closely. They fell back on the bed, Kirsten lying on top of Sandy, her head facing away, fitting perfectly into the curve of his neck and they lay there in silence.

"Kirsten, are you okay?"

"I'm in rehab Sandy."

"I know that, but are you okay… about us?"

"I'm getting there. I've realised that most of this is my own fault. If I never drove you away over the summer then we wouldn't be here at all. I hate the way things are but there are some things that I can't get over that happened this year."

"Like Rebecca?"

She drew a sharp breath inwards at the sound of the name. While that had all happened 4 months ago, she still felt threatened by the ever present Rebecca Bloom who had nearly managed to destroy their marriage.

"Yes."

"I understand."

"That's all I want you to do. There's no way you can make it up to me, what happened has happened but you shouldn't have done that in the first place."

"I know and I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you too. And I know you're sorry but it doesn't change anything."

"Well for the record, I love you more than you know. We better get going then; we don't want to be late."

As they walked down the corridor, Kirsten reached for Sandy's hand and entwined her fingers around his. How much she wanted to believe his apology, she really did, but it was all so hard. She knew it was sincere, that he really meant that he was sorry that he hurt her. But it was going to take a lot of talking through to get over it.

"Good afternoon Kirsten, Sandy. So in your individual therapy sessions you mentioned something about your twentieth wedding anniversary Kirsten. Would you please be able to expand on that?"

"As you said, it was our twentieth anniversary and I was overjoyed. I mean being married to the most amazing man for twenty years and still loving him just as much, if not more, than you did when you first married him, it was pretty special. To me at least. In the morning I greeted him with a more passionate than normal kiss and said happy anniversary. I knew straight away we he hesitated that he had forgotten, or it had slipped his mind that morning. When he went on to insinuate that it was our 19th anniversary I was so annoyed. He even went on to say that he had a 'whole thing' planned which just made me angrier. I couldn't believe that he didn't know how long we had been married. He couldn't even remember the one day that celebrates our twenty years of marriage."

"Sandy, can I hear your view please."

"First of all, I'm sorry. I said it when I sang to you and I said it after, I am so sorry that I forgot our twentieth wedding anniversary."

"So now you admit that you forgot?"

"Yes I do. I know that it's horrible, it truly is and once again I have been able to disappoint you. Kirsten you know that I love you, I try and say it as much as I can but I know that there isn't enough times that I can. Because I forgot one date, it doesn't mean that I don't know how long we've been married and it certainly doesn't mean that I don't care. I know that it means a lot to you and I should have made sure that I had something really spectacular planned but I didn't and I'm sorry. I couldn't ask for more; I'm married to the woman of my dreams, I love her with all my heart plus more and the best thing is that she loves me back. I've been married to her for over twenty years and that is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know it was stupid how I forgot but I want you to know that it definitely doesn't mean that I don't love you, because if you haven't figured out by now, I'm deeply, madly, truly in love with you and nothing can change that at all."

"Sandy… I love you too. I know that you feel bad that you forgot and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way but it was our twentieth anniversary; even the boys knew it when you didn't. How did you think I felt when I saw everyone else around me commenting on it but thinking back to that morning when you didn't remember how long we had been married, it just made me more upset."

"Honey, I promise I would never want to do anything that upsets you. I'm sorry that you felt that way, I really am and I'm going to continue to say that to you until you get over it."

"Get over it! Valentine's Day I can nearly understand but our wedding anniversary? You're telling me to 'get over' our wedding anniversary?"

"No I'm not; I didn't mean to use those words. Kirsten…"

"Well what did you mean? What did words did you mean to use?"

"Kirsten…"

"What Sandy? What?"

"Remember later that night, when I sang to you in front of all those people?"

"Yeah…"

"Well I meant every word that I said. That was my apology and I was hoping that you could accept it but obviously you can't so just tell me how I can make it up to you. Tell me how I can make it right."

"Sorry for intruding but we need to wrap this up for today." The doctor spoke interrupting the mini brawl between the two. "We're a bit pushed for time, I have to rush off to my daughter's wedding but I'll see you two on Thursday? Great, bye!" He said rushing out the door.

Sandy moved towards the couch that Kirsten was on. Sitting down next to her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, gently moving her to face him as he said "Kirsten Cohen, I love you. Please believe me on that, because that is never going to change. No matter what uncertainty there is in your life, that will be the one constant – my love for you." And with that he pulled her into an embrace as she finally let her defences down and collapsed into his arms gently sobbing.

Well, the beginning of the Rebecca debacle is coming up next… It should be up in about 2 weeks depending, I have campin two days for a weekand then I'll just have to see how much stuff I have on. Please review!