Okay, sorry I'm so slack with my updating! I've been at camp and away from home and held up with all my school work not to mention the lack of inspiration for this fic so it's been a bit of a mission to get started again. At least I'm on holiday now and starting to feel a lot more inspired to write. Anyway, here's the chapter so please read and review, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

First obstacle

Kirsten sat in her room at the table overlooking the view of the garden outside. She glanced at the photos of her family, skimming over the ones of Seth and Ryan and finally resting her gaze on the one of her husband. She had taken it from her bedside table back in Newport but her mind questioned her choice of photo. Why did I take this one, sure we looked happy on the outside but it was during the Rebecca fiasco. We were pretty good at making it look like we were happy. Were we doing this all along? She thought to herself. How long have we been doing this? Kidding ourselves that we are fine and that we are happy where we are?

Sandy sat in the driver's seat of his BMW in the back-log of traffic that had drawn the freeway to a halt. Great, he thought to himself more time to think. Truth was, Sandy had done a lot of thinking the past few days. He knew that today they would begin to talk about Rebecca and that undoubtedly this was going to be difficult for him as well as Kirsten. I wish I could take back everything that has happened this year. I know I can't but just imagine what it would be like if I did. Even in his head he was still able to ramble on incessantly I mean, Kirsten would love me… Wait a minute, I don't think she loves me? That can't be true, of course she does, I couldn't stand it if she didn't. What would I do? What would happen to me? Okay calm down, we aren't there, it hasn't happened. Stop being stupid and focus on the road.

Still sitting there in a daze, Kirsten was brought back into reality by the soft tapping on her door. She got up from her seat facing the grounds and walked over to open it and let her husband in.

"Hey. Wow you look beautiful." Sandy gushed to his wife, amazed at how gorgeous she was getting each time he visited her. She was finally getting her spirit back and she was becoming more of the bright-eyed girl he met back at Berkeley.

"Thanks. So, how are things back home?" Kirsten enquired, oblivious to the Trey-Ryan-Marissa situation that was carrying on.

"Oh you know Newport, always eventful." He replied, feeling guilty for his lies. But he had discussed it with the doctor and this was what was best for Kirsten in the long run.

"I miss it… I miss you…" She quietly added on the end with a whisper.

"Honey I miss you too. Home's not the same without you." Truth be told, home hadn't been the same since Kirsten had been shipped off to rehab and Marissa had shot Trey. Ryan had become more reserved and begun to once again question his place in the family, Seth had become needier and placed the entire parental load onto Sandy, and Sandy, and well Sandy had been lost without Kirsten. She was the one who made him feel like he had a tiny reason to belong in this community, but with her and his father-in-law gone he had no real connections.

"Mmm… So, today's going to be hard for me Sandy. Please don't push me, it's a fragile subject."

"I know, it's hard for me too. Just tell me if we're going too fast for your comfort."

"Sure. It's just that you really hurt me and it just makes it harder having to bring it up again."

"Trust me Kirsten, you're not the only who it's tough for."

"Oh Sandy I don't want to hear about how hard it was to let her go again. Just save it for when you have to say it."

"It's not that, I don't care about that anymore. It's the fact that I hurt you that makes me upset."

She bent over to pick a stray piece of lint off the floor shielding her eyes from Sandy and willing herself not to cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't let him see you like this. She wondered to herself, since when did I not want to let my husband see me emotional… fragile? She shook it off as she noticed the time.

"We don't want to be late, let's go."

They arrived in the plush room where they once again found themselves facing a balding, middle-aged man with a ruddy complexion encouraging them to verbalise their problems.

"Good Afternoon, Sandy, Kirsten. Now today I am well aware that this may be more difficult than our previous appointments but I require your full participation for this to work. Shall you start Kirsten? Please tell me about Rebecca."

She took a sharp breath inwards at the very mention of her name, as she tried to work out what to say.

"Well this was about a week or two after our wedding anniversary and everything was going great. We were finally acting normal around each other but something had to come and spoil it didn't they?" She asked rhetorically.

"When her name first came up, I admit I was worried. Apart from his work colleague before, I had never been threatened of my role as his wife but suddenly his ex-fiancée who was the ideal woman for him had been brought back into his life. And the way that he made such an effort and pulled an all-nighter just so that he could shed some light on her situation frightened me.

It made me question whether he was really happy with me or whether I had been kidding myself that this was right, that he really wanted to be with me. When he found out that she was dead he was devastated and I admit that I felt jealous. He was only meant to feel that way about me, and me only, not some woman who ran off 22 years ago because she burnt down some stupid nuclear lab!" Her voice rose at the end shocking Sandy at how angry she was getting.

"That's great Kirsten, please continue."

"So when I went to spruce up his office and she came down when she heard me rustling the bags, I felt so betrayed. All the time while I was tending for my sick father, he was going behind my back and running to her every chance that he could. He lied to me blatantly and even while he may have thought that she was dead at first, he well and truly knew that she wasn't when we had dinner together but I waited hoping that he just might bring it up and tell me what was really happening."

"Okay Kirsten we'll stop there. Sandy can you please tell me your side of the story?"

"Well 22 years ago before I even met Kirsten, I was engaged to Rebecca until she allegedly burned down a nuclear lab and a custodian got killed in the process. While our engagement wasn't moving forward, she still meant a lot to me and we never had closure. It's not that all these years that I've been wondering how my life would have been if she didn't run off, but I think that a part of me wanted to see if she was the same woman that I was in love with all that time ago. This didn't mean that I didn't love you Kirsten; I love you a lot more than I ever loved her, it's just that I needed to see for myself instead of wondering.

When I found out that she was dead I must admit that I was very upset. While looking back on it shows to me that whether she was dead or not, she shouldn't have been a part of my life but I didn't see that at the time.

I suppose you could say that I was blinded by the image that had developed in my head over the years. We never had any closure; one day she was there and the next day she was gone from my life as I knew it."

"Okay back to you now, Kirsten."

"Sandy, I made it clear to you the next morning that we came first, that our marriage came first. And then you continuously left me to go to her, you continuously put her ahead of me, and not trying to be selfish but that hurt! Day after day I would trudge down into the kitchen in the morning only to find that you had already left for the office and arrive home from work to find an empty house and when you would turn up at the latest hours of the night when I was already in bed.

I know that you got mad at me for doing this, but I had to go and see what you were putting everything at risk for; I had to actually see this woman. What upset me the most was that when you found me afterwards at Lindsay's party was that you managed to turn it back on me and make it all my fault."

Sandy quickly butted in to defend himself. "I didn't say that. I know that you felt like that I meant that but I didn't. It was hard on me as well; to see how hurt you were and to think to myself that I was the cause of your pain. I know I pushed you too far, and the worst bit was that I realised it too late. I know that what I did was wrong and that you have every right to be mad with me but can we please just put this behind us."

"Back to you now, Kirsten."

"My life was falling apart. I know I shouldn't have been jealous, but it was so hard for me. There were times at its worst when I even doubted that we would work it out. It just seemed like this would go on forever, like Rebecca would always manage to be a part of our lives. Every time she said that she was leaving it always ended up that she was staying, and it usually happened right after she was with you.

What was I meant to believe Sandy? What was I meant to think? I know I shouldn't think that you were being unfaithful but all that time I spent alone, just wondering what she had that I didn't."

"Sorry Doctor but I have to clear this up. Kirsten, honey, baby, I would, could, never be unfaithful to you. You have so much more to offer to me; you're loving, beautiful, amazing, motherly, responsible, caring, adorable, cute, gorgeous… Need I go on anymore? I love you with all my heart, so much that at times it hurts; you are what keeps me going on living life. I promise to you that I didn't sleep with her."

"But something happened, didn't it?"

"I kissed her, that's it."

"That's it! When Jimmy kissed me last year you got so upset and angry at me and I didn't even want that to happen. How can you expect me to just think, a kiss… that's it?"

"Yes, I want you to think that. And don't get mad at me for that because I can't take it back. What happened doesn't change how much I love you and I hope that the same goes for you. I'm sick of things coming between us, why don't we just take it and let it strengthen us. Why don't we stop dwelling on things we can't change and get back to where we used to be, before all the drama."

"Okay, I'll try. I'm sorry for how I've acted, I know I need to move on but I think I'm only going to be able to move on if we talk it through. But the thing is, Sandy, we are never going to be able to get back to where we were, it's too different to what we are now."

"Well then we'll make it something better than ever. Sweetie, there's no way that I'm going to let anything more come between us. You mean too much to me to get any closer to losing you, this year has been horrible for me and I truly mean that."

"Sandy, you have no idea. I thought I had lost you."

"Okay let's continue before we get too far off the topic. Kirsten, continue please." Dr. Simmons urged her on.

"The hardest part was that rainy night, when you were stuck in the motel room with her. I spent the whole night alone in our bed, with the stormy weather outside. I wanted you home; even though I was so mad at you I just needed you here with me, to make me feel like it would go back to normal. And even though you said that nothing was going to stop you from coming home, it just wasn't enough. I mean saying something is one thing, but I had been hurt so much that words weren't enough, I actually needed you to put it into play so to speak.

Sandy, I know that you're sorry, and I accept that. I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to realise that but I just need you to know that it was hard. I felt like that if someone could come between us so easy, how do we know that it wouldn't happen again? And as sad as I am to say it, it did."

"Kirsten, we are going to leave that for next week." The Doctor interrupted again.

"But you have no idea how relieved I was to see you on that bus, it gave me hope that we could get through this. Since the boys had left over the summer, you had changed Sandy; I admit that I had changed too. But the way you kissed me in the rain under the umbrella, it brought me back to when we were young and it made me realise that as hard as it may seem, there's no way I'm letting go of you."

"Oh Kirsten, you wouldn't have the chance." Sandy replied, touched by the words of his wife.

"Well I definitely think that this has been our most profound session so far. I am very pleased with you progress Kirsten, your development in you ability to verbalise your issues has been so amazing; this form of therapy seems to be working wonders for you." The Doctor gushed, surprised at how far she had come. How open she was considering the first time she came she was unable to say a thing.

They left the room, hand in hand with Kirsten slightly resting her head on Sandy's shoulders. He took a slight breath in but before he could get the words out Kirsten spoke for him.

"Honey, I know you're sorry. I accept it. Everything I said in there was true, especially about not letting you go. All this has made me realise is how much I love you, let's just focus on that."

"You know how you were talking about how that kiss in the rain made me remind you of how I used to be?" He questioned with a slight mischievous glint in his eye.

"Yeah… Baby, what are you ge…" She started to reply before Sandy backed her up against the corridor wall and kissed her passionately.

He murmured through their kiss. "This kind of reminds me how we used to be, in college."

She laughed as they still kissed, his hand travelling along her back while hers around his neck. "Yeah, you were never able to wait until we made the room were you!" She replied coyly, reminiscing the days she missed so much.

They continued their public displays of affection until an intervening cough was heard and without meeting the eyes of the interrupter Kirsten quickly whisked him off around the corner, pulling him into her room.

"You know, I don't quite remember what it used to be like once we did make the room. Could you remind me?" She played along, hinting to Sandy.

"Sure, I'll try… I might have forgotten so…"

"I'm sure I can help you out" She replied before she fell back down onto the bed with Sandy's force upon her.

If you've made it to here, I'd love to hear your comments, they'll only make it better and give me more of a reason to update faster :)