Story: Phoenix
Chapter 12
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: Jed and Lizzie argued about moving to the farm; Abbey assured Jed she knew that he had broken their bet and began smoking again; Jed listened to Abbey's political advice as the family prepared to celebrate Thanksgiving
Summary: Abbey has trouble getting "in the mood"; Jed tells Abbey she's carrying a girl, not a boy; Ellie sees Mommy kissing Santa Claus; Abbey is suspicious when Ellie has a secret
"Jed."
Abbey moaned his name in a whisper barely loud enough for him to hear. That seductive, breathy voice always enticed Jed, motivating him to push himself to the limit, surpass expectations, and bring her to the height of sexual ecstasy.
He moved faster, his lower body rubbing against hers as he braced himself on his hands to avoid putting too much pressure on her pregnant tummy. His mouth was pressed against her neck. His warm kisses erupted in a sensuous tingle that manipulated her body into a virtually limp cauldron of passion, ready to burst at any moment.
He lifted himself slightly for the best possible position, then gently eased himself down, grazing her center with a firm push as his fingers explored the folds of skin that usually made her squirm.
"Not there, Jed."
"What?" It took all the willpower he had to slow down. "Where?"
"No, not like that." Sex didn't always come in flawless, romantic motions. Sometimes, their lovemaking was downright clumsy. But that was also part of its charm.
"You like that. Or at least, you used to."
"Not tonight," she grumbled as she pushed up on his chest. "Can we stop?"
His nether regions still on fire, Jed controlled the throbbing ache as he fell to his side and turned on the lamp. "What's the matter?"
"I'm just not comfortable."
He let out an exasperated sigh. They had gone through dry spells before, times when intimacy just wasn't on the agenda thanks to conflicting work schedules or pure exhaustion, but the past several weeks, he had become genuinely confused about her hesitance to make love. "Abbey, you said you wanted the lights off so I turned the lights off. What's the problem?"
"It doesn't feel right."
"What doesn't? It's not like it's our first time doing this."
"No. I mean, it doesn't FEEL right. It doesn't feel good."
"Did I hurt you?" His face paled at the thought, mortified that he might have inflicted any pain on her most sensitive areas. He quickly sat up on his knees and threw her a piercing glance as he waited for her reply.
"No, no." Abbey took his hands to assure him it was nothing he had done. "It's just that it doesn't feel like it should."
Relieved yet still puzzled, Jed rested his back against the headboard. "Well, what does it feel like?"
"I don't know. Uncomfortable. Unfamiliar."
Unfamiliar? She had never said that when it came to this aspect of their life. Even their first time, there was a sense of comfort between them. "Is it because of the baby?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."
"This never happened when you were pregnant with Ellie and Liz. Maybe it's something we need to tell the doctor?"
"I'll bring it up at the next appointment." She inched herself closer to him. "But tonight, will you just hold me?"
"Of course." Jed wrapped his arm around her to pull her to his chest, dropping a delicate kiss onto the top of her head. "I don't have to have sex with you to feel close to you." Though the sex certainly did make it easier.
Abbey buried herself further into his arms. "You know what haven't done yet?"
"What?"
"Talk about baby names."
Moments ago, he was wobbling towards the bring of sexual satisfaction. Nothing else sounded remotely comparable at this point. "Because that's roughly the same thing."
"Jed, I'm serious. This is the first gift we'll be giving our child. I want it to be something that projects a sense of strength and intelligence."
"Yeah?"
"I'm thinking something like Michael or Richard. What do you think?" She was still under the mistaken impression that she was carrying a baby boy.
"Victoria. Or Elena maybe."
Abbey laughed. "Only if you want the other kids making fun of him."
"Ah. But I know something you don't know." She untucked her head from under his chin. "It's a girl," he mumbled.
"Okay, if we're going to do this, if we're going to sit here and go over names, then we have to be honest. Which means you can stop with the games. I already know."
"Know what?"
Abbey leaned back with a serious glare. "Jed, I saw the monitor at the doctor's office that day. I snuck a peek. I know we're having a little boy."
She wasn't just teasing now. She was really convinced they were having a son. And even worse, she was thrilled they were having a son. He had to set her straight before her hopes were dashed, melting into disappointment at the thought of another girl.
"No, we're really not," he insisted, a domineering expression marring the gleeful smile that was there just seconds earlier. "Abbey..." He held her shoulders steadily in his hands. "Honey, we're having a little girl. Really."
"Stop it. We're having a boy. I saw the pictures."
Jed framed her face with his palms, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I'm telling you the truth. No playing around. I don't know what you saw on that monitor, but Dr. Gibson told me you're carrying our daughter."
Abbey sat motionless. Could she have really been wrong? It was such a quick look. A flash of the black and white blob across the screen was embedded in her mind, but she had to wonder if it could have been a mistake.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously." Abbey looked away and nodded. "Honey, that's okay. I mean, you want another little girl..." He stopped, hoping she'd volunteer her answer. She didn't. "...don't you?"
"Yeah. I do." She snuggled back into him and laid her cheek against his chest. Of course she wanted another little girl, but believing she was having a boy had given her a completely different view on motherhood.
She looked forward to the difference in raising a Bartlet son. She envisioned him as a handsome young man with brown hair and sapphire eyes, an endearing reflection of his father. Instead of slumber parties and marathon shopping sprees, she could clearly visualize lazy Sunday afternoons, Jed and little Michael or Ricky playing football as she sat on the stoop watching while sipping a mug of hot chocolate.
She imagined what he'd be like as a teenager, athletic and smart with a whole new set of challenges, completely independent of the ones they'd face with Lizzie and Ellie. Just the thought of delivering bouncing baby boy, a son to carry on the Bartlet name, brought a warm smile to her face.
"Are you sure?" Jed asked.
"Of course. You just caught me off-guard. That's all." She loved the idea of raising a son. But she'd have to get use to the idea of raising another daughter. It was an easy task, she told herself. Boy or girl, the baby swimming inside her had already pulled on her heart. Once the initial surprise wore off, she had no doubt raw, unadulterated joy would follow.
"Okay," he replied, knowing deep-down what she was thinking. It would take a few weeks to adjust to the idea, but he had faith that she would adore this little girl just as much as their others.
Her fingers danced across his chest in little circles, the tips of her nails freely scratching his skin. "You know what we should do?" She reached away from him to grab the Lamaze book she had been reading just before he came to bed.
"Oh God." Jed wasn't yet sold on the wonder of Lamaze. Their first two classes had gone well and he had to admit the Lamaze method emphasized the vital partnership between husband and wife during the painstaking hours of labor, but he wondered how realistic and useful the technique actually was.
He was not naive when it came to labor. He had been there with Abbey during the crucial moments just before Lizzie and Ellie were born. He rubbed her forehead with a damp cloth and allowed her to squeeze his hand with every twinge of discomfort. She screamed at the pain. Her muscles tensed up and she twisted her limbs around the sheets in an effort to regain control.
Now, Abbey was being taught to recondition herself. Instead of letting out the gut-wrenching shrieks she was use to, she would embrace a rhythmic breathing pattern while he timed her contractions and coached her to work with her body's own mechanisms to deliver the baby. Theoretically, it would make the process bearable. But Jed was skeptical.
"We have to choose my position."
His forehead crinkled as he repeated the words to himself then pressed his body into hers to lower her down to her pillow. "I'll choose your position. That sounds kinky."
"Birthing position, Jed," Abbey amended as she lifted herself back up, forcing him to rise along with her. She propped open her book with a shake of her head. "There is seriously something wrong with you."
"Yeah, okay," he reluctantly agreed. "Birthing positions. What are our choices?"
"I could stand to let gravity move things along. I could sit, which causes the uterus to drop forward. I could kneel on a pillow." She continued to read as Jed maneuvered his way behind her and sat with his legs circling her rear.
"Yeah?" He poked around her shoulder to follow along.
"I could lay on my side or squat." Abbey looked up as she thought about that. "I don't know how comfortable that would be." She twisted her head towards him as he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"Doesn't sound too comfortable, no."
"I could get down on my hands and knees."
Jed's head sprang up with renewed vigor. "To have a baby?"
"Yeah. It's supposed to ease back labor." He nibbled lightly on her ear. She could never resist his hot breath against her cool skin. She leaned back into him as the book fell onto her lap.
"You know, Abbey, there are other ways..."
"Other positions?" Her hands reached behind her to touch the light stubble on his face.
"No. Other ways to..."
"Your mind never left the gutter, did it?"
"My mind never leaves the gutter when I'm alone with you." He scooped his fingers under her dark auburn locks to lift them from her back, his warm lips replacing the feel of the wavy strands. "So?"
"I don't know how it'll feel."
"That's my point. I don't have to be inside you to make you feel good." She pulled herself forward to let him slip out from behind her. He yanked on her ankles to pull her down the bed so he could settle between her thighs. "Come here, my little rolly poly."
Abbey defiantly kicked her feet out of his grasp. "Jed!"
"I was kidding. It was a joke!"
"THIS is why I insist we have the lights off."
"Abbey, believe me when I tell you you've never looked more beautiful than you do right now." He tenderly stroked her cheek. "It was a joke - a bad one. I'm an insensitive jerk."
She began to soften against his touch, but as she strained to turn down the light, she heard the familiar click of their bedroom door opening. Jed hurriedly dropped a sheet over her naked form, sheltering his own with the corner end.
"Mommy?" Ellie's voice was just above a whisper, so soft and unsure as she called out for her mother.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
"I can't sleep."
Jed held out his hand to invite her up on the bed. "Did you have a bad dream, Princess?"
Ellie shook her head against the stuffed bunny she held tightly in her arms as she accepted her father's offer. "No, but I can't sleep."
"Are you thinking about something?"
The five-year-old stalled for a minute, then shook her head again, this time a lot less convincingly. She did have a lot on her mind. Between the excitement of the upcoming Christmas holiday and the anticipation of the Christmas pageant at school, her thoughts revolved around the birth of her new brother or sister.
"What's going on, Goldilocks?" Abbey tucked a springy curl behind Ellie's ear.
"I don't know." She shrugged. "I can't sleep."
Jed handed Abbey her blue satin robe from the foot of the bed. She hastily threw it on before sliding out from under the sheet. "Lets go make some warm milk," she suggested as she took Ellie's hand and led her out of the room.
"Okay!" In the Bartlet house, warm milk was always the cure for sleepless nights, and for Ellie, it was a treat. It would soothe her nervous system, instantly taking away the butterflies.
Abbey raised her up to sit on one of the leather stools next to the kitchen counter, then reached above her to retrieve the small milk pan. She splashed the pan with a cup of milk and mixed in a bit of vanilla extract and nutmeg.
"Mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"For Christmas, can I buy Lizzie a bra?"
Abbey turned from the pan and stared at her daughter. "A bra?"
"Uh huh. She wants one. Amy got one for her birthday and now Lizzie keeps looking in the mirror and holding out her shirt." She grabbed the top of her pajamas and pulled them out to two points on either side of her chest. "Like this."
Abbey couldn't help but chuckle. "Does she know you're watching when she does that?"
"No. Please don't tell her!"
"It'll be our secret," Abbey assured her with a wink. "But you know, I think Lizzie might want to be there to pick out the kind of bra she wants. So instead of you buying that for her for Christmas, how about I take you both shopping after school tomorrow and we get it for her then?"
"But what will I get her for Christmas?"
"I've already thought of that." She picked up the magazine sitting on the edge of the counter and flipped to a marked page. "How about that?"
Ellie's eyes grew to twice their normal size as she glanced at the beautiful gold pendant. "It's so pretty!" She creased her brows in confusion the same way Jed always did. "What's it say?"
"Well, sound it out. You've seen that word before."
"It's the number one. And then under it, it says ssss..."
"Go ahead." Abbey encouraged her as she poured the milk into a mug.
"Sssiiiisss...tttt...eerr" She stopped briefly. "Sister!"
"That's it! You got it!"
"I never read that word before." And she was obviously very proud of herself. Not as proud as Abbey was of her, but proud nonetheless.
"You know, you're getting so good at sounding out all these words, I think you and I should start reading bedtime stories together."
"But what if I don't know a word?" Ellie asked, taking the mug from her mother.
"Then I'll help you. And we won't stop until you can read every word of every book on your shelf."
The idea charmed Ellie. A goal had been set and she and her mother were forming an alliance to achieve it. In her young mind, this was the confirmation she had been searching for, the proof that even after the baby comes, her relationship with Abbey wouldn't change. She sat up straight, her gratitude apparent as she took a sip of her drink.
When she was finished, Abbey tucked her into bed and gave her the usual goodnight kiss before turning out the lights. She finagled her palm under her cheek and curled her body into a ball as she began the journey into dreamland.
Out in the hall, Abbey stood outside the master bedroom, bewildered by the fact that the door was locked. "Jed?"
"Abbey?" Jed called from inside.
"What's going on?"
"Are you alone?"
"Yes."
He unlocked it, but stood behind the frame as she entered, giving her an unobstructed view of the plastic miniature Christmas tree he had set on the dresser. Tiny, slender ornaments dangled from it as microscopic lights were carefully hidden in its green depths, illuminating the room with every colorful blink. As she approached it, Jed coiled his arms around her waist from behind, hindering her motion when she tried to sink into him.
"Ho, ho, ho."
"What the..." She spun around. Her eye followed the line from his black leather boots to the red plush pants, the red pullover coat with white trim, and the big black belt that covered his bulging midsection. He was beardless and hatless, but he was definitely dressed as Santa Claus.
"Just trying to get you in the mood." For Abbey, a reminder of Christmas was the best aphrodisiac. Jed liked to believe it was because the very first time they made love was under a Christmas tree, but truthfully, even as a teenager, the holiday held a romantic spot in her heart.
"Christmas is three weeks away." She held him in her arms and massaged a subtle path down his back, slipping a finger into his belt. Their two bellies collided, making it harder for their bodies to fall into a conventional embrace.
"Yeah, well, I picked this up at the costume shop around the corner last week, just in case."
"In case of what?"
He wiggled his rear to jiggle his belly. "In case I needed to remind you that a big belly isn't a bad thing." Abbey laughed as he, quite literally, shook like a bowl full of jelly. "No one can feel bad with Santa in the room, even with the lights on."
He put one hand on her stomach, another on his own until she smiled. She stood on the tips of her toes to lock her lips with his. So lost in his protective hold, she was thoroughly oblivious to the innocent pair of eyes watching them. Ellie's mouth hung wide open. The emotional jolt of what she was seeing had grounded her speechlessly to one spot.
"Ellie!" Abbey shouted, her hands pulling Jed's head into her shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"I...wanted to...to say good night...to Daddy." She spoke softly, stuttering with every word.
Jed took a deep breath, then turned to face her, his cheeks red from embarrassment. "Hi, Sweetheart." Ellie took a step backwards as if traumatized by the sight. "There's a reason why I'm dressed like this."
"That's right," Abbey added. "Daddy was just trying to trick me."
"Why?"
"Because he's like that. He's always playing tricks on people."
"But...how did he get Santa's clothes?"
Abbey looked to Jed to answer that one. "You know how you dressed up as Miss Piggy for Halloween?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I went to that same store and I bought a Santa costume."
"But you don't go trick-or-treating." Ellie could counter nearly any argument.
"Well, that's because I was saving it for next year."
"How come?"
"Because he wanted to surprise you and Lizzie," Abbey interjected. "He's going to walk around the neighborhood with you next year."
"So next year, you're going to be Santa Claus for Halloween?"
He didn't have to see her to know that Abbey was donning a sly grin. This would be a Kodak moment. "Yes. Next Halloween, I will take you and Lizzie trick-or-treating and I will be Santa Claus."
"YAY!" Oh the images that conjured up. Ellie wasn't the only one excited to see it. Abbey could hardly wait to break out the camera!
"Okay, Tinkerbell, it's time for bed. For real this time." Abbey turned her around by her shoulders and directed her out of the room.
"What if I can't sleep again?"
"Then you try harder."
Ellie ran into her bedroom and leapt onto the mattress. "Will you read me another story?"
"No, Ma'am." Abbey put an index finger to her forehead to gently push her down. "I've already read you three tonight. It's time for bed."
"Okay." She agreed sadly, hugging Mimi the bunny even tighter against her chubby little cheeks.
"Hey, Ellie, do me a favor?"
"What?"
"Don't tell your friends at school about Daddy dressing up as Santa tonight, okay? Or even Lizzie." Liz was teetering at the edge of believer status. One more push and Abbey was certain she'd lose faith in Santa completely.
"Why?"
"Because they might not understand. They might think it's silly for Daddy to pretend to be Santa."
"But they'll all see him on Halloween."
"We'll deal with that then. For now, don't say anything. Just keep it our little secret."
"Okay!" The second secret of the night. Ellie was thrilled.
"Thanks." Abbey brushed away a few bangs that had fallen over her forehead.
"I'm good at keeping secrets," Ellie continued. "You can even ask Mr. Chappelle."
"What do you mean, Sweetie?" Abbey had nearly forgotten that Mr. Chappelle was her teacher's assistant. Up until now, Ellie had never mentioned him.
"He says I'm good at keeping secrets too."
Abbey furrowed her brows as she tugged on the hem of the blanket to cover her daughter. "Did Mr. Chappelle tell you a secret?"
"Uh huh."
"You wanna tell Mommy about it?"
"Uh uh." Ellie vehemently shook her head. "He said I can't."
"Why?"
"I dunno. He just said I can't tell, that it has to be a secret."
"I'm sure he didn't mean you can't tell me."
"Yes, he did!" Ellie argued, excitedly sitting back up. "He said I can't tell Mommy or Daddy."
Abbey's head was turned to the side, her eyes inquisitively transfixed on Ellie. "You know how I feel about you keeping secrets from me."
"But he said it would be okay! He said it's okay not to tell you! He told me I shouldn't tell you, that's it's OUR secret!" She spoke fast as she stressed the importance of keeping her promise. Just the implication that she break her word sent her into a sensitive tailspin of frustration.
"Where was Mrs. King when he said that?"
Ellie shrugged. "She's been sick."
Abbey helped her lie back down. "So Mr. Chappelle has been teaching you?"
"Uh huh."
Perhaps she was overreacting, Abbey reasoned. Ellie had a curious mind and a wonderfully complex imagination. "Is Mr. Chappelle a nice teacher?"
"Uh huh! He says I'm special!"
Several minutes passed as Abbey tried to fight off the queasy feeling that violated her. She didn't want to push her daughter, but she had to know. "What's the secret?"
"I can't tell you!" Ellie's irritation was growing just as quickly as Abbey's suspicion. "I can't! I really, REALLY can't!"
"Ellie, I just want to know. Don't you like sharing secrets?"
"I can't TELL you! Mr. Chappelle will get mad!"
"No he won't, Sweetheart." Ellie's aqua orbs shined with unshed tears from her mother's prodding as Abbey rubbed her arm supportively. "He won't be mad at you. I promise he won't be mad at you."
"Yes, he will!" Ellie exclaimed. "He told me not to! Please don't make me tell you!"
Her stomach twisted in knots, a wave of nausea hit Abbey with such urgency that she bolted up to her feet. The vile taste of adrenaline invaded her mouth at the possibility that her daughter had been manipulated into a sinister game, a game she was ordered to keep private. Her labored breath caught in her throat and she swallowed hard as she forced herself to relax, for Ellie's sake.
Ellie had never been so upset. Her features were grim and her lips were pouty. Abbey sat back down and put her hands under the little girl's arms so she could lift her up into a hug. "Okay. I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to."
It was the only thing that could calm a flustered Ellie. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, Princess. I would never be mad at you." Abbey loosened her hold and pulled away enough to see Ellie's face. "But if you change your mind, you can tell me anything. You know that, don't you?"
"I won't change my mind."
"But you might. And I just want you to know that I'll never, ever be mad at you if you decide you want to tell me all about Mr. Chappelle."
Still upset, Ellie shook her head. "It's a SECRET!"
TBC