I do not own this; please do not sue!
Oompa Loompa dompadeedee,
I couldn't give you any money! (coz I'm POOR!)
Hats and Hairballs and Motorcycles, Oh my!
Wendy gasped. "Oh no! Oh, Mr. Wonka, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean– it wasn't– I'm so sorry!"
Mr. Wonka didn't seem to hear her. He simply gaped in horror as his most favorite, beloved hat (his image!) went floating down the gooey chocolate river.
"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," Wendy fretted, hopping anxiously from foot to foot. "What to do, what to do! She spotted a large candy cane growing not too far from the riverbank. Hurriedly, she plucked it from the ground and managed to hook the end around his hat. Wendy lifted the makeshift rescue device carefully, careful not to knock its passenger back to a chocolaty grave.
Wendy grasped the dripping hat from the end of the candy cane and offered it to the shell-shocked man, who hadn't moved a muscle through the entire process. The chocolatier accepted it gingerly, and caressed the tainted top lovingly.
"Don't worry, precious," he cooed to it. "I've got something that will take that mess off in a jiffy." He turned as if to leave the chocolate room, then whirled around to face Wendy, who immediately began apologizing profusely in an agitated voice. She sputtered to a stop as Wonka placed one finger over her mouth, a sign to shush.
"You'll pay for this," he hissed. Then he spun on his heel and headed out the door, leaving Wendy worrying about what his revenge could possibly be.
As soon as Wonka had left the room, Wendy's ears were assailed by great deal of raucous laughter coming from the Bucket's house.
"It isn't funny!" she shrieked, but this only made the grandparents laugh harder. Wendy heaved a sigh and started towards the small house.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"Sarah," the elder sister moaned, "he's going to do something perfectly awful, I know it! I'm not saying I don't deserve it, of course, but still…" Wendy sighed over the customary cup of tea her sister always made during a crisis and tried to block out the sound of all the grandparents still guffawing over her prank. "I think I'm going to go out for a bit."
"Go out where, Wen?" Sarah asked as she bustled around the small kitchen.
"I need to pick up some things I left in storage before my trip. And Frankie needs dog food," Wendy replied. "I know he must be starving, but he'll have to do without 'til I get back."
"I can give him a bowl of scraps, if you like," offered Sarah, wanting to ease her sister's bad mood.
Wendy smiled. "Thanks, Sar, you're a dear. I'm off then. I'll probably be back in two hours or so," she said, heading out the door. "Can you see that someone opens the gates for me to come back in? I don't particularly want to be stranded outside."
Sarah nodded. "Will do, Wen." Sarah was feeling sorry for her only sibling. Wendy was absolutely convinced that Mr. Wonka hated her, and it hurt her feelings immensely. Sarah was pretty sure that Wonka was just getting to know her, testing her limits, and that it would all blow over in time, but Wendy wouldn't listen to anyone when she was in a mood. She could be quite impossible sometimes. Sarah grinned. Some things never change.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Upon reaching the room that Wonka had grudgingly allowed Wendy, Sarah noticed that the door was slightly open. She frowned as she recognized Willy's voice.
"C'mon, eat it, there's a good evil monster dog." This was followed by a gulping sound, then Willy's voice again.
"No, no, don't lick me! Eww, dog germs! Get off, you little–"
Sarah pushed open to door to reveal Willy trying to fend off Frankie with his cane. He looked up guiltily at Sarah.
"Heh heh– just trying to get to know the little, uh, big guy. We're best pals, now. Bosom buddies." He looked at the dog with a terrified expression on his face and reached out as if to pat his head, but couldn't bring himself to touch it. "Um, well, I guess I'll just be leaving then."
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "I think you'd better."
"I, uh– yeah." He scampered off.
Sarah looked down at Frankie. "Mr. Wonka sure is a bad liar, isn't he, boy? Wendy's really going to hit the roof when she finds out he was giving candy to you, but I don't think we should tell her." She laughed and rubbed the dog's head, setting the bowl of scraps he had been looking hungrily at for the past minute. "I do want to know what is was he fed you. I hope it wasn't anything…dangerous."
But then, she thought wryly, you just never know with that man.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWilly and Charlie were strolling along on one of their brainstorming sessions, discussing plans for a soda that never lost its fizz, when they heard a strange rumbling sound.
"That isn't one of the machines, is it, Mr. Wonka?" Charlie asked, puzzled.
"I don't think so," replied Willy. "I mean, it kinda sounds like an engine…and it sounds like it's coming from outside."
Both naturally curious people, the pair headed toward the entrance to the factory. Charlie pressed the button that opened the doors and they peered outside.
The reporters and fans that were usually clustered at the front gate had scattered, and with good reason; a crazy person on a motorcycle was headed straight for the gate with no sign of stopping.
"I think that's Aunt Wendy!" exclaimed Charlie. "Open the gates, or she crash right into them!"
Personally, Wonka wouldn't have minded, but if she got injured it could mean lawyers. So, with an internal sigh, he pushed the button that activated the gates.
She sped down the walkway, braking hard right in front of the entrance. She slewed the bike to the left and it stopped just in front of the steps. Wendy lifted the helmet and grinned.
"I'm a bit rusty," she said as she hopped off the bike. Willy noticed a long, rectangular instrument case slung across her back.
Wonderful, he thought sarcastically. He watched as Charlie ran to help her unload things from the sidecar. Not wanting to be roped into helping carry things, he turned and walked back inside the factory. Wendy watched his retreating back with a frown.
"Guessed he's still upset about earlier," she muttered under her breath. But Charlie heard.
"What happened this morning?" he asked curiously. Sighing, Wendy picked up the boxes she had brought.
"I'll explain to you on the way, my dear."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"You knocked his hat into the river?" Charlie paused in front of her door, a smile fighting its way onto his face.
"It was an accident! I only wanted to give him a bit of a scare!" she protested, laughing. In retrospect, it was quite funny. She dropped her boxes on the floor and laid down her instrument case. "He woke me up this morning by screaming in my ear; I thought I was due a bit of a comeback. I didn't mean to, really. And now he's plotting his revenge against me." Wendy still looked a bit apprehensive about this.
"Don't worry. I doubt he'll do anything too dangerous." Charlie looked thoughtful for a moment, missing his aunt's rather distressed expression at the word 'dangerous'. A wicked grin spread across his face.
"Aunt Wendy, I think you've started a pranking war."
"A pranking war? But don't you think Mr. Wonka will get irritated?"
"I don't think so. He's– well, he's kind of– " Charlie faltered, trying to find a way to explain what he meant.
"In touch with his inner child?" asked Wendy, grinning.
"Spot on, Aunt Wendy."
"Wow, Charlie. You're such a sweet, kind boy," she said sarcastically.
"Oh, don't worry– Mr. Wonka says I'll grow right out of it," replied Charlie in a completely serious tone.
They looked at each other and burst out laughing. After wiping her eyes on her shirtsleeve, Wendy opened the door to her room. "Thanks for helping me carry my bags, Charlie. I really appreciate your– WHAT THE F– WHAT IS THAT?" she screeched, looking in horror at something in her room.
"What? What's what?" Charlie nearly tripped over her instrument case to get a look. "Oh no! I think that's Frankie!"
"Frankie? My baby? He's a MOP!" Charlie had to admit; it did look like an oversized mop.
"Seems as though someone's given him a Hair Toffee. They're not quite done yet, you see," said Charlie apologetically, hoping to sooth his livid aunt. "We've managed to get them so the eater's hair stops growing after about four feet." It hadn't seemed to help. Wendy stilled looked as though she was about to have a conniption fit.
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "All right, Mr. Wonka," she spat. "This has gone far enough. It's fine if you're slipping me candy that makes me look like bloody Cousin It. But when you start feeding strange candies to my Frankie– well, my friend, you have crossed the line. This. Means. War."
A/N: Woo! That took me a long time to write. But it was fuuun! squee! And I have a poll for you guys! Ok, it's well established that Willy and Wendy are in a pranking war. I want you all, my reviewers, to send in your ideas for a prank Wendy can pull on Willy! I know his next prank, then her next prank, and then I know what I'm doing after that. But if you guys have any suggestions as to Wendy's next prank, send 'em in! I do have a fallback plan: the ol' flaming bag of dog poo, but with a little something extra. I thought that was a bit crude, though, so I need your ideas!
Oh! I finally put chapter titles up. Yay!
Ok, reviews now!
From Chapter 2:
Sybl Angelkat: A Mary Sue is a perfect, beautiful person who usually wins the heart of the author's favorite character. Go to this site (w/o the spaces):
http // www . subreality . com / marysue / explain . htm
Wicked Serpaphina: is hugged Yeah! Woo! Glad you liked it! Thanks for your neato comments! Lol, guess what. I've planned a chapter a looong ways down the line called "Lollipops and Jellybeans"! It's going to be a VERY fluffy chapter. Dude, we're like, psychic! It's gonna be awesome! You are sooo totally right, he has. Keep on reading!
PucktoFaerie: Oh, yeah. Lol. Thanks for your nice comments!
Sybl Angelkat: YAY! I made someone laugh! My dreams have been fulfilled. And I loved you calling it a pranking contest, but I changed it a bit to pranking war. w00t!
Willy Wonka's Sweet Sugar Babe: Lol, nope. Thought about, but that would be too mean! And as for Joey, he's just some person she went traveling with. I have a little backstory about that, though. Ok, so she was in Brazil and traveling along the Amazon, and the group she's traveling with is sleeping in the forest. And one night, they hear a funny sound. So they get up to check it out. They think it might be a snake or something. But they don't find anything, so they go back to sleep. A little while later, however, a guy in her group (Joey) scream bloody murder. It wrapped itself around him, but he manages to slice it open with his knife. That's the story. Then, when Willy screams in her ear to wake her up, it reminds her of that incident. That clear things up? Joey wasn't her boyfriend or anything, but I do have something like that tentatively planned. But it comes later!
Time Rowanwood: Yay, I made two people crack up! Lol, I ADORE my lime green baseball cap, so I definitely understand Willy's anguish. I heart hats!
Forensic Photographer711: Lol, man, people sure do love Willy's hat! It's the kickinist hat EVA! Too cool, you caught it! A. extra hug from Willy too you! Yessss! Thanks so much. I'm glad you like her pj's, I like 'em too!
Remember, kiddies, hugs from Willy to reviewers! And I need pranking suggestions for Wendy, so give me your ideas! I might use YOURS!
Chapter 5: More pranking goodness.