Disclaimer: Not mine, but still working on it! mutters to self Now, if I put the rocket launcher here…

You've got a Friend in Me…Not.

Willy was happily inspecting the growth of his chocolate truffles in the Chocolate Room (they were coming along quite nicely), when an irate Wendy burst through the door with an enraged look on her face. Willy gulped anxiously. Things did not look good. As the she-beast neared, the chocolatier looked around for a place to hide.

Why, oh, why didn't I listen to Charlie! he thought fretfully. I didn't know she'd freak like that! She looks like she wants to rip my head off! He dove behind a peppermint tree, but it was too late. Wendy had spotted him.

"WONKA!" she bellowed. "I've got a bone to pick with you!" Willy knew he was done for. Wendy grabbed him by the lapels of his coat and shoved him against the tree.

"Hey, hey, easy on the threads," he protested, prying her hands off of his immaculate plum coat. "No touchie." He brushed imaginary dust from his shoulders.

"What do you think you're playing at?" she hissed angrily, disregarding his comment and poking him violently in the chest. "What on earth made you pull a stunt like that? I could have been seriously injured, or even killed!"

"Well, yeah, but you weren't, were you?" he replied snidely. "No harm done, right?"

"No harm done? I was bloody suspended above the ground by my hair! You think that doesn't hurt?" Wendy jabbed him again in the chest. "To top it off, you cut three bloody inches off my hair!" This was what really seemed to burn her up. Willy was getting a huge kick out of infuriating her, though he tried not to show it.

"Huh. I thought it might improve it, but no, your hair still looks like a birds' nest," he remarked with a smug grin. Yep, annoying people was a talent that he didn't get to exercise often enough.

"Well, at least my hair doesn't look like it was styled by a five year old," she retorted.

"Hey!" he said indignantly. "At least my nose doesn't look like it belongs to a pelican."

Wendy put a hand over her nose, rather offended by his comment. It had always been a tender subject with her. She frowned at Willy. "You still don't have the right to put people in danger like that," she said, changing the subject.

"You really shouldn't mumble, Wendy," Willy told her in a patronizing tone.

"I'm not mumbling."

"Nope, I just can't understand a word you're saying."

"I'm not mumbling."

"You need to enunciate. E-nun-see-ate. People can't understand you when you mumble all the time."

"I'M NOT MUMBLING!" Wendy screamed at the top of her lungs, two inches away from Willy's ear. Willy put his hands over his ears and cringed.

"You don't need to yell. I can hear you just fine," Willy complained. Wendy let out a cry of frustration. Looking around for a weapon of some sort, she spotted a cream puff growing nearby. Wendy scooped some of the whipped cream from the plant and held it above Willy's head. Willy narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't dare," he said, backing up a few steps.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" she replied viciously, and smeared it on his face. Willy stood there for a moment, then wiped some of the whipped cream from his eyes. "You are so dead," he told her, and mashed some marshmallows from a nearby marshmallow plant in her hair. Wendy angrily grabbed a candy apple, throwing it at the chocolatier and hitting him in the chest. It kind of exploded and left a pulpy red mess on his shirt and coat. Willy was livid by this point. He picked up a candy pumpkin and smashed it over her head. With a howl of rage, Wendy dove at him and they fell to the ground, snarling and punching.

By this point the two "adults" had attracted a crown of spectators, because apparently people in the factory had nothing better to do than watch these two hurl insults and punches at each other. As Wendy socked Willy in the eye, two Oompa Loompas were setting up a betting stand.

"I'm putting my money on Wendy," Grandpa Joe said. "She can get quite violent at times…"

"What? Willy's got a cane. Of course he'll win, even if he is a pansy," countered Grandpa George, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. "Oh, look at that! Right in the kisser!" he said happily as Willy managed to land a punch.

"Go, Wendy, go!" cheered Grandma Josephine. "That's my girl!"

"Pass the salt," said Grandma Georgina pleasantly.

No one noticed as Sarah, Jacob, and Charlie returned home from with their arms full of groceries.

Wendy had her hands around Willy's throat and was trying to choke him while Willy grabbed her hair and was yanking it, aggravating her already tender scalp. The crowd roared enthusiastically, but Sarah Bucket roared louder.

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone in the room got silent, though Wendy and Willy were still exchanging blows.

Sarah set her groceries down on the ground and marched over to the two fighters. She grabbed both of them by the ears and yanked them to a standing position.

"Ow! What, is it Everyone Grab Wendy's Ear Day today?" Wendy muttered bitterly. She winced as Sarah gave her a little shake.

"Hush! And I want the rest of you to leave. NOW!" The grandparents and Oompa Loompas scattered quickly, thought Jacob and Charlie stayed and positioned themselves behind a tree to watch. Sarah took a deep breath, then continued to discipline Wendy and Willy. "Now, it was bad enough when you two were 'getting revenge' on each other, but this really takes the cake!" Sarah fumed. "Honestly! Two adults, brawling in public for anyone to see!"

"Um, I don't think the factory really counts as– ouch!" Willy whimpered. "What was that for?"

"Don't you talk back to me, young man," Sarah seethed. "Now I want both of you to apologize and end this feud immediately, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," they both muttered sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Say it like you mean it!"

"Sorry, for, you know…punching you and stuff, Willy. I think you're going to have one heck of a shiner," said Wendy uncomfortably. "And getting gunk all over your face."

"My whipped cream is not gunk!" Willy protested hotly. "But I accept your apology."

"You need to apologize too! You cut half my hair off!" Wendy snapped peevishly.

"Yeah? Well, who glued all my stuff together, huh?"

"You drugged my dog!"

"So what? You knocked my hat into the chocolate river! That's much worse."

"It was an accident! Anyways, I only wanted to get back at you for screaming in my ear to wake me up! That was completely out of line."

"SHUT IT, THE BOTH OF YOU!" Sarah yelled. The room got silent again. A furious screaming mother usually has that effect. "You two will resolve your differences, like it or not." Sarah glowered at Wendy and Willy, who squirmed under her unpitying stare.

Wendy attempted a grin, but faltered under Willy's cold look. "I guess…well, Frankie wasn't really hurt, was he? I don't suppose I should have gone to such extremes to get revenge…it was rather mean."

"Darn right," Willy retorted, refusing to give an inch. Wendy nearly lost it.

"You are impossible!" she huffed. "I give up!" She stormed out of the room, blood dripping from her nose and part of the candy pumpkin still around her neck. Willy grinned his insane grin and turned to Charlie.

"Guess we showed her, huh, Charlie? Don't think she'll be bothering us anymore!" he said happily. But Charlie just shook his head and walked to the Buckets' house, disappointed by his mentor's childlike behavior. Willy was hurt and confused.

"What'd I do?" he asked, honestly unsure of what he did wrong. Sarah sighed and began trying to explain things to him.

"Willy, Charlie is really fond of Wendy. He doesn't get to see her that often, because she's usually traveling. He would really appreciate if you could try to get along with her for as long as she's here." She smiled encouragingly. "You got used to us, Willy. And Wendy's really a nice girl, once you get to know her. I'm sure you'll make friends in no time." Sarah actually highly doubted this, but it was something she thought she ought to say anyways.

Willy also doubted that he would, or even could make friends with Wendy, but Mrs. Bucket had pulled the Charlie card. Willy would do anything to make Charlie happy, so he would do his very best to…-shudder-…make friends with Wendy. Ew. Who needed friends? They just got in your way.

But Charlie's your friend, said a little voice in his head. Willy sighed. His stupid conscience, interfering yet again.

"Alright, alright, I'll say I'm sorry, 'kay? But only so Charlie won't be mad at me anymore. Not 'cause I want to or anything," he insisted.

Sarah smiled. "Thanks, Willy. I'm sure Charlie will appreciate that you tried."

And so Willy found himself walking to the Green guest suite for the second time in three days. Had it really only been three days since she had arrived? It had.

Willy cleared his throat awkwardly and rapped on the door with his cane.

"I'b a bid busy," a voice called thickly. Willy unhooked his key ring and, after a bit of searching, found the right key and unlocked the door. Wendy was standing the middle of the room, head tipped back, with several bloody tissues pressed against her nose. Willy felt slightly guilty for having making her bleed, but also really grossed out at the sight of all the blood.

"Uh…if you're busy, I can come back," he said uneasily.

"Doe tibe lig de presend," Wendy said coldly (at least as coldly as you can get with a plugged up nose). She took the bloody tissues away from her face to see if her nose was still bleeding. It wasn't, luckily. "What do you want, anyways?" she asked nastily. When she didn't get an answer, she turned around to demand an answer from Willy.

But he was passed out on the floor.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Willy. Willy. Wake up, won't you! Why are you being so difficult? Urgh!" Willy felt something very cold fall on his face and his eyes snapped open.

"What the–" he spluttered. "Cold!"

"Sorry," Wendy said, not sounding very sorry at all. She removed the wet washcloth and peered at him. "You okay?"

"What happened?" he groaned, feeling the back of his head. Yep, he could already feel a huge lump forming. And it didn't help that Frankie was breathing nasty dog breath in his face.

"Not sure. You came in here, about to say something, and passed out. You were out for about ten minutes. Do you faint often?" she asked curiously.

"Um, no," he said, pulling himself into a sitting position on the floor. "I don't think I ever– "

Wendy reached for a tissue and dabbed at her nose where a trickle of blood had come out. Willy gagged.

"Don't tell me you're one of those people who passes out at the sight of– oh. Oh." Wendy chuckled, then bit her lip as Willy glared at her. "That explains it, I suppose. Though it is your fault I'm bleeding, you know," she added frostily.

"Um, yeah…sorry about that," he mumbled.

"Well, thank you for that heartfelt apology," Wendy said sarcastically. "Anyways, you banged your head pretty hard on the table when you fainted. I don't guess that you have a concussion or anything, but I'm not a doctor, so what do I know?"

"Well, good, 'cause doctors are creepy," Willy stated firmly.

"Why do you say that?" Wendy asked curiously.

"All those needles and stuff," he said wrinkling his nose in disgust. Wendy chuckled.

"For a person who really does pass out at the sight of blood, I guess that makes sense," she said, grinning.

"So what do you do?" Willy inquired, wanting to change the subject. Wendy was confused.

"What do you mean, what do I do?"

"Like your job. Do you even have one? I got the impression from Charlie that you just traveled all the time," said Willy.

"Of course I've got a job! I taught high school history for a few years, but then I got a job as a writer for Worldly Wise magazine," she said proudly.

"Worldly Wise magazine? Never heard of it," Willy said.

"Writers and photographers get to travel all around the globe, doing articles about animals and people and all sorts of things. It's kind of a mix of geography, history, biology and human interest," Wendy explained. "I was thrilled to get a job with them. It's a very select group, you know."

"No, I didn't," he said. "Do go on. I find this quite fascinating."

"Are you patronizing me?" Wendy asked, rather offended. "You know, you can leave anytime. You don't have to stay and be rude by pretending to be interesting in what I have to say."

Willy heaved a great sigh. "Look, Charlie was upset because he thinks I hate you– "

"Wonder where he got that idea," muttered Wendy bitterly.

" –so to make it up to him I've decided to try and be friendly. Not like you're making it any easier on me, though," he complained.

"I didn't think antisocial people could be friendly," Wendy said mock-sweetly.

"I am not antisocial!" he protested hotly. "I could totally make friends with you if I wanted to."

"Who says I want to?" she retorted.

"Well, then, maybe I'll do it just to annoy you. Yeah, I will! Hah! So there!" he said triumphantly, sticking his tongue out at her.

Wendy shook her head, baffled. "So just out of spite you're going to be all nice and friendly towards me?"

"Pretty much," he agreed.

"That makes no sense!" she cried.

"Well, I don't normally. What makes you think I'd change for you?" Willy declared. Wendy threw up her hands.

"Oh, I give up!" exclaimed Wendy, exasperated. She stalked into her bathroom and locked the door. Willy had a vague thought that this wasn't the correct way to begin a friendship, but he quickly forgot it as Frankie started to eat his coat, which was still covered in candy from earlier.

"Ah! Creepy dog, get off!" Willy yelled, trying to fend off the monster. "Ew! Dog germs!"

A/N: w00t! Chapter 7! This one was sooo fun to write, but also challenging. I played with the ending sooooo much. Wendy actually used to be a doctor, but I decided to change that coz it was too Mary Sue according to my beta. Thanx, bro! Yeah, so I saw CatCF again today (third time!) and I reread the book. A few discrepancies between the two, but oh well. Can't win 'em all. Yeah, and btw in the chapter, I invented Worldly Wise magazine. It's like National Geographic, but I didn't want Wendy to do that coz it seemed too Mary Sue. Man, I really need to watch myself. x.x

R&R, peoples! To the four people who reviewed last chapter, thanks and hugs from Willy to you all! And I want your opinions and idea. Romance is still a ways off, but Chapter 7 might include a trip to the library, Willy being tactless, and Grandpa George making snide comments. But guess what! You'll find out faster if you REVIEW!

Wonka's lovely assistant: Yep, hugs to you!

Maleficent Angel: Yeah, my hair too. w00t! So glad you like Wendy! Oooooh! I 3 your story!11111111111oneoneone

Forensic Photographer711: Lol, yeah I know. And it's not like I've ever pulled the superglue thing… whistles innocently

Elizabeth: Yeah! Man, it makes me happy to make people laugh. That's what I thought about the gloves. Get with it, Willy!

PucktoFaerie: Those are great! Have to remember those for my bro… Thanks!