Summary/Recap: Not much happened last chapter. Lets see…Kel found out about everything about Kai, Ver, and Danai in a short flashback, and she recognized the crest on Kai's dagger as the Yamani royal family's symbol. Ver got in a sort of argument with pretty much everyone…that may be it…

Chapter Nineteen

"I know that I'm a noble!" Kel finally shouted, mask broken and thrown aside. "And I don't need to be reminded of that by some oblivious, uneducated, narrow-minded, prejudiced, unthinking boy from the streets!"

"'From the streets'?" Ver repeated with a smirk, completely unfazed.

"Ver, she's right," Danai said.

Ver turned to Danai, about to retort with something, when Sholla came running through the stable doors. "Everyone, we're calling a meeting. Go to George's rooms, fast."

The small study was once more crowded with people, though this time Kai, Danai, Lalasa, and Ver were present, as well as Sholla, George, Dal, Sherra, Faleron, Kel, Neal, Owen, and a few others that Kai didn't recognize.

George was scanning papers when they got there, a steady frown on his face as he read. When he was done, he began muttering things that sounded suspiciously like curses. "Sholla, if anything else new comes, be sure that it gets here directly as soon as possible." He stood slowly and surveyed the room as the barmaid nodded and left the room. "Everyone," George said gravely, eyes unusually serious, "There has been a fire in the city."

There was silence for a few seconds as everyone considered the gravity of what had happened. "How big?" Sherra asked finally. It was market day, Kai knew, so the streets would have been packed with people and animals.

"Big," George answered simply. "Does anyone know the big furniture workshop right in front of the Fools' Theater in downtown?" Most of the people in the room nodded; the theater was actually a well-known outdoor stage that the street performers used for free. "The officials say that the flamethrower on stage dropped their torch and the fire somehow spread to the workshop. The pine resin inside, all the paints, the wood, everything exploded; it ignited the theater and part of the buildings next door."

No one said anything. Danai seemed to be fighting tears and Ver was frowning. Kel's face closed off like a door.

"Hedi?" Danai asked quietly. Kai paled. Hedi was a flamethrower, one of the only ones in the city!

"I'm sorry," George said in answer to Danai's question. "Witnesses say that she was on stage at the time, and no one's seen her since."

"Did anyone find…her?" Kai said carefully, keeping in mind that nothing was definite.

George shook his head. "A fire that big…well, she wouldn't be recognizable." Everyone in the room winced. "I'm sorry, but there's really no way that she would be able to survive a fire that large."

Danai shook her head quickly. "No, Hedi was used to fire! If anyone could have gotten out it would have been her!"

"But no one could have gotten out," George persisted. "I'm sorry, lass."

"Stop saying that!" Danai shouted at him. "She's not gone! Not until you find her body!"

Even Kai, in her state of shock, realized that the situation didn't look at all hopeful for Hedi. "Danai," Kai said slowly, "They probably won't find her body. You just have to accept it now and move on." Did I just say that? Kai wondered.

"No, Kai!" Tears were coursing down Danai's face, and Kai knew that she herself probably was crying, too. "I'll just go to her apartment! You'll see! She'll be there like always, and we'll all laugh at this and it will all just be some big mistake! You'll see!"

Danai turned on her heel and walked straight to the door, only to find Esmond blocking it.

"Let me through," Danai ordered, furiously wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"You know that it's not safe out there," he said.

"I don't care! Let me out!"

Kai watched, her mind roiling. She didn't know what to think anymore. On one hand, she wanted nothing more than to run out that door with her best friend and prove them all wrong, find out that Hedi was still alive, and have a good laugh over all of this. But another part of her had matured in the last month or so and demanded that she see the logic in Esmond's argument. He was right that Danai had been followed before, and it would be even worse now that she had escaped from Fang with the rest of them two days ago. But though Kai saw all of this reason, she still knew what she wanted to do.

"What if I go with her?" she asked loudly, interrupting Danai and Esmond's argument.

"No," Faleron said immediately.

"We'll be fine," Danai protested. "Ver can come, too."

"You were all captured by Fang before," George pointed out.

"Whoever, we don't care," Kai said quickly. "Who wants to come?"

"Neither of you are going," Ver announce abruptly. "It's not safe for you two out on the streets." He walked to the door. "I'll be back before tomorrow morning."

"What?" Kai almost shouted. "You're going but we can't?"

"It's after nightfall. You shouldn't be out that late, especially after something big like a fire. All the looters'll be out."

"That doesn't matter! You hardly even know Hedi!" Danai said loudly.

"None of you are leaving," George broke in grimly.

"Why not?" all three of them demanded at once.

"She was one of my best friends!" Danai argued.

"I'm seventeen for Mithros' sake! I'm of age to decide for myself! I've been out after dark before!" Ver protested in a partly mocking voice.

"You can't just keep telling me to stay here!" Kai objected. "I can't just pretend there's nothing happening out there!"

"Everyone, calm down," George ordered. "Danai, I know that you were good friends, and a great deal of people will be devastated when they learn of her unfortunate passing. Ver, I am perfectly aware of your age." Ver paled just a bit here, and Kai wondered why. "The fact remains that this is most likely a trap after what happened two days ago."

He sighed deeply, and Kai's stomach plummeted to the floor; this couldn't be another of her friends, could it?

"One of our spies happened to be watching the show from a nearby window," George said carefully. He paused. "Hedi never dropped her torch."

"But I thought you said…"

"I told you what the Watch said," George interrupted Danai. "They'd never admit that they let someone set a fire on one of the biggest public stages in the city and the most important workshops in five days' riding distance and that they now have no solid leads."

No one said anything.

"Are you saying that someone purposely set the fire?" Neal asked cautiously.

Sholla looked from Kai to George and back with an incredulous expression on her face. "No," she said suddenly.

"I'm afraid so, lass," George said resignedly. "Who else would take such a big risk if not him?"

"'Him'?" Kai repeated; then found herself echoing Sholla. "No. Not him."

"Fang?" Danai demanded. "He did this?"

Kai bit her lip, strongly resisting the urge to scream, or cry, or stand there and deny that any of this had ever happened. It was her fault that her friend was dead! It was her fault! If she hadn't been friends with Hedi, then Joren would have never killed her to get revenge. The words reverberated through her mind. Her fault, her fault, her fault…

Kai turned and abruptly ran out of the room.

Faleron's POV

Danai got up hurriedly and followed her. Faleron glanced about nervously, and then made to stand, but found Ver in front of him blocking the way.

"Let them settle this."

"Them?" Faleron asked, shocked. Ver glared at him. "Think about it. The two of them will just run off into the city and Fang's trap."

"A trap?" Esmond repeated, looking towards the door.

"Why else would he bother to try something this big?" Neal asked, catching on to Faleron's idea. "And especially on the day that their friend just happened to be on stage?"

"He knows that Kai's going to want to get revenge now, and then she and Danai will be caught again," Faleron couldn't resist adding.

"Since when would you know what they would do?" Ver demanded.

"They're right, Ver, and you know it." George finally spoke.

Ver scowled and didn't respond.

"Kel, are you all right?" Neal asked suddenly. Faleron glanced at Kel. She was staring silently staring at one of the walls, Yamani mask on, her knuckles white from gripping the arms of the chair she sat in.

"He did it again," she said tersely. "Joren…he killed commoners just because they were in the way of what he wanted." She stood up swiftly. "We have to go after him."

"No, not now," George said. "They're right that this is a big trap made by Fang. Would you like to repeat the little episode of two days ago?" Kel shook her head. "Will you swear not to leave the palace for the next three days?"

"What?" Kel asked incredulously. "You don't trust me enough to know that I won't do anything stupid?" Neal opened his mouth, and she glared at him. "Don't answer that, Meathead." She sighed. "Fine, I, Keladry of Mindelan, solemnly swear that I will not go off the palace soil," she rattled off quickly. "Happy?"

"Very," George said. "You too, Ver."

"Me?" Ver asked, astonished. "But…I'm not some little girl that'll go off and get killed!" He ignored the protest that came from almost everyone in the room; he really did have a point that he was three years older than Kel. "I have two years on that little…" he pronounced a word that should not be repeated at this time to refer to Joren, "And you don't think I can handle a fight with him because it's after dark?

"What if you're outnumbered?" George challenged. "How many can you fight at once? How do you know Joren won't just slink off while you're distracted?"

"Fine. Not now, but soon," Ver said darkly.

Faleron suddenly realized something. "Kel, did you ever…" He didn't notice the scowl on Ver's face, but Kel did.

"Yes," she interrupted at the warning look from George. "But I don't think I should tell you. I probably shouldn't even know. Ask Kai."

"Know what?" Neal inquired, glancing between them.

"Nothing," Kel said quickly, not meeting Neal's gaze. Faleron suddenly noticed that she hadn't done or said anything directly to Neal all day. Or all week. What was wrong between them?

And what if Kai and Danai had already left the palace? Faleron wondered, glancing nervously at the door. "You know, they could be all the way to that merchant's house by now."

Sholla shrugged. "I'll bet you two gold nobles that they're just in Kai's room."

"You're probably right," he said reluctantly. However, when he, Sholla, Esmond, and Ver got to Kai's rooms, they found them deserted.

"Esmond, go tell the gatekeeper to close the gates," Sholla ordered, taking immediate control. "Ask him if anyone out of the ordinary has gone or left in the past half hour. I'm going to go tell George. You two go search anywhere that they might be inside the palace." And with that, she scurried off.

"Look, I know you'll want to make it seem like you're doing something to help, but I know that you have no idea where Kai or Danai would go, so I'll find them and you pretend to be searching," Ver decided before taking off in one direction.

Faleron glared at his retreating back, then decided that it hardly mattered. Unlike Kel, he understood that some people were steady in their beliefs, and nothing he said would ever change that, so why bother?

"If I were Kai, where would I go?" he mused quietly, pacing in a small circle. After a moment, his head snapped up, he grinned, and quickly turned in the opposite direction as Ver.

The words reverberated through her mind. Her fault, her fault, her fault…

Kai abruptly turned and ran out of the room.

She didn't know where she was going, but she hardly cared. The most important thing was to get away. She allowed her feet to carry her where they would, and found herself outside of her own door. No, they'd find her here right away, and the last thing that she wanted to do now was to talk.

"Kai!" Danai shouted as she rounded the corner of the hall at a run.

That helped her make up her mind quickly. Pretending that she hadn't seen or heard Danai, Kai calmly opened the door and slammed it shut.

It wasn't that she was mad at her best friend; she just couldn't face that it was her fault, the hatred that she would eventually see in Danai's eyes when she figured it out for herself, not just yet.

Kai crossed the room quickly and took a deep breath before jumping out the window, and, except that this time she didn't twist her ankle, it was exactly as the same as when Hedi had come to rescue her with all of their other friends. Hedi. The thought gave an added impetus to Kai's legs as she raced across the ground.

Where was the last place that anyone would ever look for her? Kai wondered as she took refuge in a small nook in the wall. The first place that came to mind was the stables, but there would be people there who would wonder what a maid was doing running around at this time of night. Where else would no one ever bother to look for her?

When the answer came to her, she grinned ironically and ran back the way she had come.

The door to Faleron's room was open. Kai was somewhat surprised; he normally locked his room during the day, and she had brought lock picks with her for that necessity. Kai shrugged; if he had forgotten to lock his door, then she wouldn't have to explain why she had had to break in, as she would have had to do before. She was ready for when she would eventually be found; Kai knew that she would never be able to keep hiding and she didn't want to, either. She just couldn't talk to anyone just yet.

With a slight shrug, she pushed the door open and walked in.

"Kai-"

Kai shrieked. She had definitely not expected anyone to be in here, least of all Faleron. "What are you doing in here?"

Faleron grinned from his position on top of his bed. "This is my room, remember?"

"Yes, but why aren't you at the meeting or something?" Kai asked slowly, edging back to the door.

"Oh no you don't," Faleron shouted, jumping off his bed and grabbing her arm at the same time as she suddenly turned and ran for the door. "Sit down, please."

She glanced at his hand gripping her arm and shrugged mentally. What could she do? She sat at the desk. "So, why are we here?" she asked after a long minute of silence as if nothing had happened.

"We're here because you ran out of the meeting." Kai stared at the wall. "What's wrong?"

" 'What's wrong'?" Kai repeated blankly, meeting his gaze. "What's wrong? What's wrong is that Hedi is dead because of me! Dead! Never coming back! Because she was my friend! This is my fault! Everything, all of this!" Kai gestured around frantically, her voice rising.

"Kai!" Faleron interrupted grabbing her shoulders. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is!" she shouted at him. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes; she roughly wiped at her face. "Don't you see? If Hedi had never known me, then Joren would have never killed her! She'd still be alive!"

"So what?" Faleron demanded. "Would you have just never been her friend? He would have found someone else, so don't blame yourself. It's because of Joren that all of this has happened."

Kai bit her lip. "Maybe you're right…"

"Suppose?" Faleron asked with a laugh. "Of course I'm right. But now you have to realize that you're still alive. You can mourn, but life goes on, and you have to let this go."

"'Life goes on,'" Kai mused quietly. She brushed away her tears and stood up decisively. "You know, you're right." She crossed the room to the door to her bedroom and emerged a minute later, tucking daggers into various places on her body. "Life does go on."

"What are you doing?" Faleron asked nervously.

"I'm going to go settle this once and for all," Kai answered. "I can't just sit up here safe and sound while my friends fight my battles for me. I'm getting revenge."

"No you aren't." Faleron stepped between her and the door.

"Faleron, I know what I'm doing. Move."

"Kai, think for a minute. Why would Joren take such a huge risk for no reason other than to kill one flamethrower?" Kai winced. "He's not stupid. He wants you to come after him. It's all a trap."

Kai heard what he was saying, and deep down she knew that he was right, but she also refused to believe it. She took a deep breath. "I don't care. I'm going."

"No, you aren't."

"Yes, I am," Kai stubbornly persisted, pretending to move right and then dodging left for the door. "Stop!" she shouted after he moved in front of her and she crashed into him.

"Just listen to me for once, will you?" he asked in a frustrated-sounding voice. Kai didn't noticed, though, as she was too busy looking for another escape route. "Kai!" He finally just pinned her arms to her sides. "Think for a minute."

"I know what I'm doing, Faleron; just let me leave," she pleaded, squirming.

"So you can get killed? What about Danai and Ver? What about the rest of your friends? What will they do when they find out that you were killed too? Do you want to put them all through that? What about Sholla and Dal? What about Kel and Neal and Esmond and Owen? What about me?"

"It's my fault!" she shouted. "If I were to die, what would it matter? You should all be happy that I'm finally gone!"

"Why would we be happy about that?" he demanded. "It was not your fault!"

"Yes it was!" she cried. "If Joren had just killed me, then Hedi would still be alive, and Danai and Ver would be in the city instead of here, and half of my friends wouldn't hate me because they think I've switched sides, and you wouldn't be stuck with me, and all those other people in the fire today would be fine, and Sholla would still be at the Dancing Dove instead of passing messages up here, and George would be home with his wife, and Dal and Sherra would have never been dragged into this, and…" Kai trailed off when she realized that she couldn't think of anyone else's inconveniences that she had been the cause of.

"Done?"

Kai glanced up, surprised at his almost angry tone, and nodded.

"All right, then just listen for a minute. It was not your fault that any of this happened. It was all Joren, and even if you hadn't been friends with Hedi or hadn't escaped before, he would have still found someone else and blaming yourself is just stupid."

"Thanks," Kai muttered sarcastically. She finally twisted out of his grip and wiped her tear-covered cheeks; she hadn't even noticed that she was crying. Kai took a deep breath, suddenly feeling very tired. How late was it? Kai wondered. "So what now?" she inquired exhaustedly.

"Are you staying here?" Faleron asked.

" 'Suppose so," Kai answered with a sigh.

"You know I don't mind," he protested, discreetly directing her to the door. "It's not so horrible, here, right?"

"No, it's not so bad," Kai admitted. "The beds are nice."

"I think you need one right now," Faleron commented, opening her door and lightly shoving her inside. "And no sneaking off in the middle of the night, either!" he shouted through the closed door.

Kai hardly heard him, because she simply collapsed onto her bed for the long wait for sleep to overtake her.

Yes, it has been an incredibly slow update; I got a little wrapped up in my new book. On that subject, does anyone out there read Diana Duane's YW series and would be willing to recommend a good fic/author in that category? Oh, and I've been meaning to ask, has anyone read Will of the Empress yet? Yes, I know this isn't a circle-verse story so lots of people out there probably don't read Emelan, but I heard it was all right from some people with ARCs, but I'm looking for second opinions…

Tortall Princess: Thanks for the review. As for Kai and Faleron…who knows? Not me, how sad is that?

GreatMotherG: Wow, that's like kinda scary that you guessed it. Or did you? Now I may have to add some big plot twist there for the sake of it. And because I love plot twists. Don't you? Thanks for the review!

Mina: it's supposed to be a semi-confusing chapter because it was the big plot twist so everything changes. You didn't know about butterfly? That was on our list for vocab in FIFTH GRADE! I'm gonna bring my notebook to school now just to prove that. Oh, and I think I have a rough family tree in back too.

If anybody else is confused about the whole family thing, write that in a review and I'll put up a better explanation or a family tree or something.

Please REVIEW!