OMFG! I'm alive! X.X & I STILL haven't found the first part of this chapter so I'm making it all up. & It's 1:35 nite & I KNOW my mom'll get pissed if she finds me on the comp. Still.(even though it's Fall Break, yyeeeessssssssssss)

Warning: It's a fanfic on Gravitation & it's the 6th chapter! I think you know what to expect. BUT my writing style has changed so forgive me.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would be Maki, & my new manga would NOT be het…cries in corner

After a long rehearsal and an even longer lecture about my over dosing DA went to eat at a local restaurant. (ok, this just sucks…)

Shu POV

/oh god, this is where Yuki meets his editor…what if he's here! Oh god I'm crashing down. I can't breathe, I'm gonna suffocate! I'm-/

"Yo shu? You okay over there?"

"Wha? Ugh…yeah. I'll be just fine as soon as I sit down." /and hide underneath the table…/

"You sure you're okay?"

"Actually, I'm not really hungry so I think I'm gonna go, I'm still a little wiped out. See ya!" /Gotta get outta here./

"Hey Shu! Wait!"

Aizawa PoV

"Hey Shu! Wait!"

/Shu? As in Shuichi? Shindou/

"Hello Shindou."

"Sup ass? Mind movin'? You're blocking the door."

"What! Why you little-!"

"See ya ass." Shindou yelled back as he slipped past me, just wait until I get him alone. He'll pay.

Shu. POV

/Well, I'm sure I'll be seeing him again soon./

I duck around a corner into an ally & sneak a fit (injected drug/shot/needle/syringe etc.). Instantly I felt better, just knowing it was in my system. My other arm starts hurting from where I cut it last night. All this just to get through one day, or night, or whatever. A druggie and a cutter all rolled up into one fucked up singer.

I pushed off the wall and walk out of the ally, fully intent on getting to my apartment before anyone else from my past finds me.

At Shu.'s Apartment

I collapse upon my bed and stare out the window. It had started raining while I was on the way back and now I was completely soaked, and freezing…and shivering. /Maybe a hot shower will help./

The hot water makes the cuts on my arms and legs burn as it runs down my body in tiny rivers. Suddenly, I get a flashback to when I was living with Yuki. Getting a shower with him.

The kisses.

The touches.

Hotter than the water running over us.

The heated moment was bliss.

The exploring hands and little bites.

The loud moans sounding as if they were happening at this very moment.

The flashback melted away, and I realized why. I had fallen and hit my head on the water dials. It hurt like a bitch too.

/Damn LSD flashbacks./ but I was lucky. Mine were only triggered every once in a while and they were almost always short.

All my feelings for Yuki slammed back inside my head. /Damnit./

I stepped out of the shower annoyed with myself and reached for the blade I kept hidden on the little ledge over the shower. I grabbed a washrag before returning to the shower.

The blade glistened in an almost happy way. As if, happy to be used.

I slowly drew the blade over my upper arm. /It's a good thing I never cut deep enough to scar, I doubt it would be easy explaining this to Hiro./

Was my last thought before I blanked out and savored the pain my happy little blade wrought as it carved one word, one name into my arm.

'Yuki.'

dances I know, It sucks…it has always sucked. No biggie on me. Please review or it will die once again!