"Oh my God!"

Amy sighed. "Jess, that's the fifth time you've said that. I think we've pretty well established that this is a big deal."

"I'm sorry," Jessie said, rolling over on her stomach on Amy's bed without taking her eyes away from the letter in her hand. "I just don't know what else to say. What did you say?"

"You mean after I finished chewing him out for not giving me this on his own?" Amy leaned back against Ben, who put his hands on her shoulders and began to massage them. "What was I supposed to say? I still don't know what to say, and I've had a whole day to process it."

"You're not supposed to know how to handle something like this," Ben assured her gently. "It would be weird if you did. But your reaction doesn't matter much anymore; it's over and done with. The thing I'm wondering is, have you thought about what you're going to do?"

Amy smiled sourly. "That's the question of the hour. At least you guys won't look at me like I'm committing some unthinkable betrayal when I answer. Not like he did." She sighed. "There's only one thing I can do. I'm going to try to find him."

The group was silent for several moments following this revelation. Finally Andy spoke up from his perch on the edge of the windowsill. "I'd start by calling the grandparents," he said. "The odds are better that they've stayed put for fifteen years. I seriously doubt he's still living where he was back then. But his parents will know how to get you in touch with him."

Amy raised her eyes to her friend's, slightly alarmed by hearing this monumental undertaking broken down so logically, so casually. She had a clear mental image of making that phone call, of gathering her courage around her like a shroud and managing to utter something unequivocally brilliant along the lines of, "Hi. I'm your granddaughter. I'm looking for my dad, your son. Can you give me a number for him?" Her stomach rolled uneasily at the thought.

Andrew offered her a small smile of encouragement. "You don't have to tell them who you are right away," he said, reading her thoughts as he had become so uncannily good at doing over their lifelong friendship.

She took a deep breath. "God, I don't know if I can do this."

Ben kissed the back of her head. "You can do this," he said firmly. "If anyone can do this, you can."

"I'll do it," Jessie offered suddenly, finally tearing her eyes away from the letter that had transfixed her. "You want me to do it for you, Aim?"

"No," Andy answered for her. "This is Amy's show, Jess. She needs to do this herself."

"Not so fast," Amy said. "I mean, if I'm not going to tell them who I am anyway, then this is strictly an informational phone call, right? So it doesn't matter who does the actual asking for the information."

"Right," Jessie agreed. "I can play it cool, guys. You think I can't? I have the soul of an actress, you know."

"Amy, I think that's a bad idea," Andy said. "I think you need to handle this thing by yourself."

"She didn't ask you, man," Ben said quietly. "It's up to her. Whatever she's comfortable with, we are going to support."

There was a short, tense silence during which Amy prayed they weren't going to start the bickering that had become routine ever since the last scene in their two-year-long drama had played out. The two boys had only recently crossed the line to this side of civil, and she didn't think she could bear a step backward now, especially under these circumstances, when she needed both of them so badly. Because her back was to Ben, she shot Andy a pleading look, one that he caught and silently obeyed, dropping his eyes back to his lap and biting down on his response to Ben. The tension drained away as quickly as it had reared its head, and everyone in the room relaxed.

"So, Jess, will you?" Amy asked, ignoring the fact that Andy rolled his eyes.

"Hello, have we met?" Jessie said, sitting up and bouncing slightly on the bed with excitement. "This will be so cool! I've always thought I'd make a good private eye."

"Let's keep things in perspective, at least," Andy said. "Jess, keep in mind that this isn't a game. This is important."

Jessie frowned at him. "You never give me any credit," she complained. "I know how important this is, Andrew. So are we doing it now?"

Amy's stomach flopped over again. "I don't know. You know how low the odds are that they'll even still be at this number? It's like slim and nil. So this is probably pointless anyway, and we're all wasting breath and time discussing it." She glanced from face to face. "Right?"

Ben locked his arms together around her chest and gave her a comforting squeeze. Andrew averted his eyes during this exchange, still far from being able to stomach displays of affection between them. Jessie was looking at the letter again.

"You don't have to do anything," Ben said. "I mean, you don't have to act on this right this minute, you can think about it more if you need to."

"I'll lose my nerve if I wait," she said, laughing nervously. She swallowed painfully over her dry throat. "Let's do it."

"You want us here?" Andrew asked, standing up and eyeing her with concern. "We can go, Ben and I."

Amy glanced between them and shook her head firmly. "I want you all here," she said. "Please stay."

Andy reached for her hand. "You know we will," he said. "Whatever you need."

That morning had been a terribly awkward, emotionally charged one in Amy's house. Jack had barely said two words to her when they happened upon each other in the kitchen, and Amy had seriously begun to wonder if she was doing permanent damage to him, to their relationship. But what right did he have to be mad at her about this? Hurt, maybe—but angry? It didn't make sense to her. She had found Dougie on the front porch, lacing up his shoes to go jogging on the beach.

"Why is he being like this?" she asked him.

He turned around to look at her, and if he was surprised by her sudden appearance or the directness of her question, he didn't show it. "I wish I could tell you," he said. "I really don't know either. He won't talk to me about this."

"Did you try?"

"I tried, sweetie. I tried till I was blue in the face. I told him he's being unfair to you and that you need his support more than ever right now. But all I can tell you, Aim, is that he's not quite ready to offer it just yet."

"What am I supposed to do, Dougie?" Amy asked. "I mean, I want his support, but if he's not going to give it, then I have to do what I feel is right anyway. With or without his support. So, if I do, is he going to hate me forever for that?"

Doug stood up and approached her, his blue eyes direct and sincere. "You know better than that," he said. "He's hurting, Amy, that's all. He's hurting and scared and probably a little angry, too—not at you, but at having to deal with this situation before he was ready to." He reached out to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes. "He'll get over it," he said.

"Are you okay with this?" she asked, looking up at him questioningly. "I mean, does this hurt you too?"

He smiled a little wistfully. "I'm okay with this only as long as you are," he said. "If you end up getting hurt here, that's when my okayness runs out."

She nodded. "I guess limited-time-only support is better than nothing," she said, smiling slightly. "Thanks, Dougie."

Amy watched Jessie's fingers press the buttons with a mounting sense of all-consuming unease. She was clutching Ben's hand in one of hers and Andy's in the other, squeezing both so tightly her fingers were numb. Thank God Jess had offered to make the call; Amy felt absolutely incapable of coherent speech at the present time. It would be terrible to make contact with her paternal grandparents only to manage a series of unintelligible grunts and have them hang up on what they mistook for an obscene phone call. She squeezed her eyes shut as Jessie finished dialing and put the phone to her ear, clearing her throat for good measure.

Time slowed to a crawl. A gut-wrenching, heart-throbbing, inescapable, sickening crawl. A year might have elapsed between the time Jessie finished dialing and the moment that she finally opened her mouth to speak. Amy was on the verge of snatching the phone away from her and hanging up when that moment came.

"Yes, hi," Jess said brightly. Waves of white noise crashed in Amy's ears, and she gripped the boys' hands even tighter, terrified that she was going to pass out and miss this. Ben kissed her cheek, effectively bringing her back to the glaring clarity of reality. "May I please speak with Mrs. Marshall?"

Silence. Silence. Silence. Jessie's eyes revealed nothing as she listened to a response. Amy could hear her heartbeat, that's how still the room was.

"I see."

She sees? She sees WHAT? Oh God, what are we doing?

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, I—yes. No, I didn't. I'm sorry, but is this Robert Marshall? Her husband?"

Amy's eyes were closed so she didn't see Jessie's face suddenly turn white and her mouth fall open. Ben and Andy were both alarmed, glancing at each other over Amy's head with twin expressions of concern.

Jessie seemed to struggle to recover herself momentarily, then continued to the person on the phone. "Well, Mr. Marshall, thank you for letting me know. I'm sorry to have bothered you. What?" she paused, biting her lip nervously. "Oh. I know her from … from church. Yes. We met at church awhile back."

Amy jerked her head back up and looked at Jessie. Church? What? Was that the backstory they had agreed upon? Had they even come up with a backstory in case someone on the other end of the line had wanted one? What were they thinking, going into this so ill-prepared!

And as quickly as that, Jessie had hung up. Everyone's eyes were fixed on her, and hers were fixed on Amy.

"Don't you dare make us ask you what happened," Ben said. "Spill it."

Jessie swallowed hard, reached out, and placed a hand on Amy's knee. "Sweetie, I just talked to your father."