Chapter 3: Poor Bart
Homer came back home in a strange mood. He looked at Marge and Bart, who waited for him at the door. "I got a strange phone call this morning…" he said. Marge shot an angry look at Bart, and he gulped. "Somebody called and told me that I was not going to get my doughnuts!" he shouted with anger. "The NERVE!"
"Actually, Homie, that's not important right now. What is important is that your son has something to tell you," Marge said.
"Go ahead, Bart, what is it?" Homer asked, calming down.
Marge looked mad at Bart, and Homer seemed completely unaware (he'd been knocked out earlier and forgot about Skinner's call). "Dad… Milhouse planned to cheat for the test," Bart said.
Homer gasped, "The nerve of that VanHouten kid!"
Marge slapped Bart. "Tell him who really planned to do that."
"Okay, I planned to cheat? Happy, Mom?"
"What?" roared Homer. "Boy, how many times have I told you not to get in trouble this year?"
Bart counted. "697," he said.
"Well this will be the last. I've had it with you, and I'll teach you to behave!" Homer shouted. "Go to your room, and I'll be there shortly," Homer said. Bart nervously ran to his room, and Homer chased him up. He growled in anger. Bart then got on the bed with his butt in the air, expecting a spanking.
"Boy, I'm going to do more than spank you this time!" Homer yelled. He picked Bart up and began strangling him. Bart choked and his eyes bulged out. Homer strangled Bart many times before, but this time he did it harder than he ever did before. This time, he also did it with all his might. He could see Bart's face getting pale. Homer growled louder and squeezed harder and harder each time. Bart managed a little cough, and then his head limply fell back.
Homer quickly stopped squeezing. He felt for Bart's pulse, but he did not have one. "Uh oh! Boy, I'll save you!" Homer said. He attempted CPR, which was poorly performed because all he did was press hard randomly on Bart's chest and then incorrectly blew air into Bart's mouth. He then felt for his pulse again, but there still was none. "Come on, boy, wake up!" Homer pleaded, shaking Bart. Bart shook like a lifeless corpse. "No!" Homer shouted. "I can't believe what I just did!"