Chapter 06 – Collisions

After ninety minutes Harry had been released from the hospital by an extremely confused doctor who still could not explain the leap in the improvement of his condition, but who nevertheless could do nothing else than letting him go. In the meantime, Remus had talked again to Dung who would take care of their trace as soon as they had left by portkey. They had agreed that it would be easiest if they left from Harry's room as soon as the doctors had officially released him, so Dung had to once more place a concealment charm on himself to get into the room unnoticed after they had left. The portkey was the biggest problem Remus was facing. He was able to create a portkey set for headquarters, no problem there, the problem about it was that actually it was illegal. Portkeys had to be handed out by the Ministry, and creating them without the Ministry knowing about it was not allowed. But then again, most probably nobody would notice, the portkey control was more precaution than anything else, and it stemmed from far darker times during the first war. It was not really a law that actually still made sense. And as long as no Ministry employee saw him producing or using the portkey, there would be no sanctions – one of the reasons why Remus had chosen not to involve Arthur in this little plan. No need to put the man through any additional problems with his conscience, he was already giving away far too much information for his Order work and Remus knew how loyal Arthur normally was.

So after he had prepared the portkey – a crisp package he had taken from the vending-machine in the waiting area of the hospital – he went into the hospital room where Harry waited for him. The teenager looked up as Remus entered and had a slightly doubtful expression on his face.

"Erm Professor – Remus, I mean, what about my things? All my school things are still at Privet Drive, my clothes and everything as well."

The flaw in his plan, Remus realized. Of course all of Harry's things were still with his relatives, he should have thought about that. But fortunately that was one of the smaller problems.

"Right, I forgot about that. Let's get you to Grimmauld Place first and tell Albus that we moved you, somebody will then have to inform your relatives about where you are anyway. We can fetch your things then."

Harry nodded. "Okay."

Still the doubtful expression did not vanish from Harry's face, but this time Remus knew it was because of the prospect of taking a portkey. Not that he could begrudge him for it, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

"Ready to leave?"

Harry nodded and came over to where Remus was standing.

"I set the portkey myself, and I'm going with you, so you don't really need to worry. It will deliver us into the bushes of the small square near the house, so that we don't arouse suspicion. Dung will be watching our way to Number 12, just in case anything happens, but that is not likely. But as we cannot be too careful, I'll place a Disillusionment Charm on the both of us, all right?"

Harry nodded and a moment later Remus pointed his wand at his head and he felt the same cold and trickling sensation that he had had last summer under similar circumstances. Remus repeated the process with himself, then held out the crisp package to Harry

"Ready?"

"Yes." Remus felt more than saw that Harry took hold of the portkey and raised his wand.

"Five seconds delay after I activate the portkey, hold on."

Remus tapped his wand against the portkey, held on to the crisp package and after a couple of heartbeats they were on their way to Grimmauld Place.

They indeed landed in the middle of the plants in the small square diagonally across from the now invisible Number 12, and Remus quickly pocketed the crisp package. The only indication of their arrival had been a rather abrupt rustling of the rhododendrons they had landed in between, but any passer-by would have blamed that movement of the plants on a gust of wind or something similar. Remus straightened and brushed the leaves off his robe.

"Harry? Are you all right?"

"Yes."

"Good. Let's go over immediately, how about that? I'll take off the Charms once we're inside, that's safer."

As he could hardly see the teenager he placed an arm around Harry's shoulder so that he could feel where he was walking, and steered him towards the space between number 11 and 13 and Harry could not help but be fascinated by how the house seemed to appear out of thin air. No matter that he had already seen it happen a year ago, the idea that an entire house could simply 'vanish' and 'reappear', though it was actually there the entire time, fascinated him to no end. There were simply some things about the wizarding world which he would never get entirely used to.

As soon as Number 12 had appeared, Remus steered Harry in through the front door without speaking another word. Harry silently asked himself why they had not simply taken a portkey the last time the Order members had brought him here, but didn't dare to ask.

Harry had never thought that he'd ever return to that place, not to the house Sirius had grown up in and where he had been caught in for the whole last year. Even now, though he had been able to get used to the thought of returning here, Harry could not suppress a shudder as he crossed the threshold again. Fortunately, Sirius' mother didn't seem to have noticed that somebody had arrived and remained blissfully silent. He really didn't need to be reminded of his godfather's death first thing upon arriving, especially not from her.

The first thing Remus did as soon as the door had closed behind them was taking down the Disillusionment Charms, then he gestured towards the stairs that led into the kitchen downstairs.

"How about we get you something to eat and then settle you back into your old room? I'm sure somebody will fetch your things this afternoon, I'll go myself as soon as I've talked to Albus."

"I'll come along if you want to, after all they're my things. And I'm already used to my aunt and uncle."

Remus shook his head.

"No, it might be better if you stayed here. Getting you from the hospital to London by a portkey is one thing, but Professor Dumbledore will have my hide if I let you travel through Britain without a guard. I know you don't like it, but it's important for your safety."

"Yes, I understand."
Harry shrugged and started towards the stairs when suddenly there were steps from above them and Severus Snape came walking down from the upper corridor. His coal black eyes darted from Remus to Harry and back again, his expression quickly turning into one of the most angry looks Harry had ever seen on him.

"Care to explain that, Lupin?"

Remus ignored him for the moment and calmly turned towards Harry.

"Why don't you wait for me downstairs, Harry? I'll be along in a minute."

Harry didn't really want to, but nevertheless he turned back and started to walk down the stairs. Halfway down however, he decided that he'd rather hear right now why Snape didn't seem all that pleased to have him here than again be left in the dark about it. What he saw was that Snape had come to a halt in front of Remus and was looking at him expectantly.

"Lupin?"

"What are you talking about, Severus?"

"Don't give me that! What is Potter doing here? I thought that Albus had been explicit in his instructions to return him to his relatives."

Snape's posture would have intimidated most of the people Harry knew, he was standing close in front of Remus and was glaring down at him, his right hand holding his wand by his leg as if he was about to use it sometime soon. But Remus only stared back at him, his gaze defiant. Harry realized that Remus wasn't that much smaller than Snape actually was, though the Potions master was maybe two or three inches taller than Remus he didn't seem to tower over Remus. But maybe that was because Remus suddenly seemed to be more angry than Harry had ever seen him.

"I will not allow Harry to be returned to his relatives."

His voice was firm and clear, but Harry saw his hands shaking ever so slightly.

Snape laughed.

"Oh, and since when exactly is this your decision to make?"

"Since when is it Albus'?"
Snape spluttered and for a moment had to fight to regain his composure. Harry realized that Remus also had his wand out, though he too was still holding it beside his leg.

"I would say, Lupin, that Albus has only Potter's best interest in mind, and by now we all should be aware that he is safest with his blood relatives."

"Which the events of the past couple of days have undoubtedly proven."

Harry winced slightly at those words and at the thought that Remus had to defend him for his failed attempt at potions brewing, but Snape interrupted his thoughts immediately.

"Nobody could know that the idiot boy nearly accidentally killed himself and relieved the Dark Lord of this task!"

"My point exactly, Harry's relatives wouldn't have known. They don't care enough about him, but I do. That's why I brought him here, so that something like that won't happen again."

Snape shook his head slowly and with quite a start Harry saw that Remus was clutching his wand tightly with his left hand and though Harry didn't know him all that well he guessed that Remus was fighting very hard to keep his composure. Snape however, would not relent anytime soon, if only for the sake of disagreeing with Remus.

"Potter can't stay here!"

"It's not your choice to make!"

"And neither is it yours!", Snape shouted back. Remus paled even more in anger and for a moment Harry asked himself if it would be wisest to interrupt them before things got out of hand. Remus – his jaw set – shook his head and didn't back down under Snape's glare.

"I definitely won't bring him to Privet Drive again and just leave him there! I am not like you Severus, I want to be able to look into a mirror with a clear conscience. And I certainly won't be able to live with myself if I brought him back to those muggles!"

Snape sneered.

"You could live with that and yourself very well for the first thirteen years of his life, Lupin."

Before Snape knew what was happening, Remus had pinned him up against the wall and had his wand pointed at the other's face.

"Don't. You. Dare! Don't you dare talking about things you don't understand! You know nothing about that, Severus. Albus said Harry would be fine with the muggles, and my one big mistake in life was not daring to doubt him when I knew the decision to be wrong. I didn't dare to doubt Albus then, but I have learned from my mistake and am more than willing to dare doubting him now. I thought that especially you would understand that line of thought, Severus. Shouldn't you know what it's like to make one wrong decision and try to make a better choice later in life? Isn't it the same when it's about leaving Harry with the muggles or serving the Dark Lord…?"

Harry only saw Remus fly backwards to the floor and before he knew what was happening Snape was towering above him, wand pointed at Remus' chest. With his right hand Remus gingerly fingered his head where it had impacted with the floor, but the wand in his left hand pointed straight at Snape. Both men were so angry that a couple of stray sparks were already starting to fly from their wands. Harry held his breath, thinking about something he could do to tear those two apart. But if he was honest he would not want to be anywhere within wand-range of any of the two at the moment.

"Come on Severus, just curse me. Hasn't that always been your answer to everything?"

Again, Snape sneered and a shiver ran down Harry's spine.

"Lupin, it is definitely not my problem that ever since Black was stupid enough to get himself killed you are useless except from when it comes to staring at the wall. Don't vent that out on me!"

Remus scrambled to his feet again with a speed Harry would not have expected from him after how hard he had been knocked to the floor. Just as Snape raised his wand, a door to their right opened.

"Severus? Remus? What is going on here?"

Arthur Weasly stepped into the hallway, his own wand drawn and eying the two men warily. With careful steps he placed himself between Snape and Remus.

Remus was breathing harshly as he lowered his wand, unconsciously rubbing his wand-hand over the back of his other as he tried to get himself back under control. Snape was looking as murderous as Harry had ever seen him, and Harry could not help but admire Mr. Weasley's courage for stepping between those two.

Snape pocketed his wand and turned towards the door.

"Nothing Arthur. I was just about to leave."

Snape left and without another word Remus went upstairs. Only then did Mr. Weasley see the still startled Harry standing on the stairs.

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

Confused, he went over towards Harry and looked him up and down.

"You look a bit shaken. What happened here? Come on, let's get you down into the kitchen and let Molly make you something to eat, those muggles in the hospital surely didn't give you enough food. And then you tell us what happened here."

He put his hands on Harry's shoulders and steered him down into the kitchen. Harry had to forcefully fight back the tears when he thought about how they had spent the last Christmas here, how much Sirius' mood had brightened up when they had come for a visit and how they all together had eaten their Christmas dinner here in the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley came over to them as soon as she realized that somebody had entered the kitchen, and with quite some astonishment she realized that it was Harry.

"Harry, dear! What are you doing here?"

Harry fought down the urge to flinch away from her embrace. Mrs. Weasley had said some pretty mean things to and about Sirius over the course of the last year, and only now with Sirius dead did he realize just how much they stung. But he silently allowed Mrs. Weasley to hug him for a moment before he sat down at the kitchen table. A moment later a plate filled with breakfast was placed in front of him and Mr. Weasley sat down on the other side of the table.

"Tuck in, Harry."

Reluctantly, Harry picked up his fork and shoved the tings on the breakfast plate around, eating here a bit and there a bit without any real appetite.

"What happened up there in the hallway, Harry?", Mr. Weasley asked.

Harry shrugged.

"I don't really know. Professor Lupin…Remus and I came in, and when those two met in the hallway they started fighting about why he brought me here. Then it just escalated, I think."
Mrs. Weasly looked up worriedly.

"Remus and Severus were fighting?"

"Nearly hexing each other, yes." Mr. Weasley nodded. "I don't know what's gotten into Remus, it just isn't like him to lose control like that. He stormed upstairs."

"I'll have a look at him." And Mrs. Weasley left the room. Mr. Weasley sat down opposite of him with a cup of tea, and with an encouraging smile gestured for Harry to start on his food. Though Harry could tell that there was a somewhat strained quality to his smile, but whether this had to do with what he had just witnessed upstairs or with what everybody had assumed about his potions mishap Harry did not know.

"How are you feeling, Harry?"

Harry shrugged between two bites of scrambled eggs. "Fine, thank you. Whatever Professor Snape did yesterday helped immensely, I don't feel as if something had been wrong at all."

Mr. Weasley nodded. "Good. Very good. Erm…Harry? Don't understand me wrong, you know that we always like to have you around, but what are you doing here? I don't recall Albus saying anything about you coming to Grimmauld Place."

Harry shifted uncomfortably and pushed his half-eaten plate away from him.

"Well, actually he does not really know yet. Remus took me here because I asked him to. I didn't really want to go back to my relatives."

Mr. Weasley frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Did something happen? You never wrote anything in your letters, we thought everything was all right."

"Nothing is wrong, really. I guess I'll never like them, and it will never be fun to live at Privet Drive, but until this summer I didn't mind all that much. I mean, I know it was necessary, so I didn't say anything. But now – I just can't, Mr. Weasley. Not after what happened with Sirius."

Harry only hoped that Mr. Weasley would understand, he had no intentions of explaining it to Ron's father at the lengths he had explained it to Remus. He really didn't need everybody to know just what a weakling he was. Obviously Mr. Weasley did understand, or he just pretended to, because he nodded and let go off the topic.

"Is Ron here as well?"

Mr. Weasley shook his head.

"No, he is not. Actually, Molly and I aren't staying here over night either, if it can be prevented. At the moment Bill and Charlie are not busy with anything time-consuming, so they're at the Burrow keeping an eye on Ron and Ginny. The twins are in their store for most of the time, and…well, that's it. But the way things are looking at the moment, the younger ones will come here at the end of the week, anyway, because Bill and Charlie will have other things to do."

Harry nodded, not commenting on the slight pause Mr. Weasley had made earlier. He knew only too well what Mr. Weasley had nearly said, one name had been missing from the list of the Weasley children. That Mr. Weasley had not said where Percy was at the moment told him that the conflict between Ron's older brother and his family was seemingly not resolved yet. He would not pry there, that much was sure.

Harry got up from his chair and carried his plate and cup over towards the kitchen sink.

"Do you think I can stay in the room I stayed in last summer? I don't know when Remus is going to talk to Professor Dumbledore, and my things are still at Privet Drive, but still."

Mr. Weasley smiled and got up as well.

"I'm sure you can. Let's get you upstairs, see if the room needs a good dusting up or something. I don't think anybody has been in there since last Christmas. And on our way we can have a look whether Remus has calmed enough for a trip to Privet Drive."

"I didn't want him to get into a fight with Professor Snape because of me. I told him that if it causes problems for me to be here, he could bring me back to my aunt and uncle."

"Ah", Mr. Weasley waved with his hand, "you're not causing problems, Harry. Remus has been a bit edgy lately, that he got into a fight with Professor Snape was not because of you. Your arrival might have been the trigger, but the tension has thickened between them for quite some time now, it had to explode some time. It's not your fault, and that it happened at all is not the end of the world. Now, let's get upstairs, how about that?"

Harry nodded and together with Mr. Weasley he climbed the stairs out of the basement kitchen and farther up onto the floor where his room from last summer was located. On their way, they passed Remus' room, which – as Harry was just about to find out – was located on the end of the corridor in which his own room was. And they knew it was Remus' room because they could easily hear him and Mrs. Weasley shouting from behind the closed door. And it became obvious very quickly that they were fighting about Harry's presence in the house, amongst other things.

"You know that this is not the problem", Mrs. Weasley was saying, "but was it really necessary to jump at Severus' throat like that?"

"Why was I supposed to back down, can you tell me that? Just because Severus can't stand Harry doesn't mean I have to agree with it. Excuse me for making an own decision once in my life, and for standing up for that decision afterwards. Harry could not stay there any longer, so I took him out of there. That you're siding with Severus now is something I would not have expected."

"This has nothing to do with siding with Severus", Mrs. Weasley shot back venomously. "It just isn't like you to all of a sudden start making your own rules. You know that Harry isn't the problem, and neither is his being here. It's just…this isn't you, Remus. You aren't that rash, you simply aren't the kind of person to throw caution in the wind and do something against explicit orders. That…"

Harry realized that Mr. Weasley wanted to pull him down the corridor and away from Remus' room, but he didn't let himself be dragged away. After all, Remus and Mrs. Weasley were fighting because of him.

"What, Molly?" Remus continued, still unaware of their presence in front of the door. If Harry was not all that mistaken, there was a taunting quality in his voice and Harry asked himself what could have enraged him like that.

"What about 'that'? Come on, I'd like to hear what you wanted to say!"

"Do you, Remus?" Harry knew that tone of voice. He had heard Mrs. Weasley talk like that to Fred and George a number of times. Resolute telling-offs, most of those occasions had been.

"That isn't like you. Taking Harry out of there, bringing him here against Albus' explicit orders, then getting yourself lured into a fight with Severus was rash, egoistical, selfish and narrow-minded. In short, it was stupid and unnecessary. It was something Sirius would have done. He is dead, Remus. It would be a big mistake if you tried to take his role now. It wouldn't be fair towards Harry and you'd not help your own coping with Sirius' death, either. If you listen to me, better stop trying to be like him."

"Oh, and who exactly gives you the right to judge that? Don't you think I'm painfully aware that Sirius is dead? I'm only trying to make things easier for Harry, I'm sorry if I made you feel I stepped into your territory. But you are not the only one who cares about him!"

"Then don't hurt him any further by trying to be Sirius! I'm not all that sure he'd have been good for Harry, anyway."

"Stop it, Molly!" Remus' tone was suddenly very harsh and very angry, and Harry found himself sympathizing with it. How could Mrs. Wesley dare to say something like that?

"Just because you never learned to see Sirius any different than you wanted to see him doesn't mean he was like that. Sirius was a good person!"

"Who more than once endangered others because he never thought about the consequences! Because he was too rash, because he only cared about his own fame and success. Sooner or later he'd have pulled Harry into one of his dangerous schemes, you know that it's true."

"Sirius cared about Harry", Remus all but shouted back. "He'd never have done anything that would have endangered him!"

"Oh no? Don't you think I should know better? You know as well as I do that Arthur and Bill nearly died because of him! You might still let your friendship with him blind you…"

"I've had enough, Molly! I really don't need to listen to this!"

Harry jumped back in surprise as suddenly the door to Remus' room was ripped open and his former teacher stood in the doorframe. Mr. Weasley still held on to Harry's arm as if to pull him away. Remus stared at them for a moment, not really knowing what to think or say. Mrs. Weasley brushed past them, also looked at Harry and her husband for a moment, but then she hurried over towards the staircase and ran down. After another moment of hesitation, Remus went back into his room and slammed the door shut.

Finally, Harry gave in to Mr. Weasley's pull on his arm and allowed himself to be led down the corridor towards the room he and Ron had occupied here last year. Mr. Weasley was clearly distraught as he quickly dusted the room with a wave of his wand. With a last look around to see that the room was all right for the moment, Mr. Weasley wordlessly turned around and went downstairs again.

With a wary sigh, Harry let himself fall onto one of the beds and crossed his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. Maybe it would have been better if he had simply stayed at Privet Drive. He had been here for hardly thirty minutes, and already Remus had nearly duelled with Snape, and Mrs. Weasley and Remus had been fighting – just because of him. And now that he sat here in the silence of 'his' room, he became aware for the first time just how much it hurt to be back here. Harry wasn't ready to cope with this now, but he had manoeuvred himself pretty deep into all this pretty quickly. And what was that Mrs. Weasley had said about Bill and Mr. Weasley nearly dying because of Sirius? Nobody had ever told him about something like that before, and Harry didn't even want to think it could be true. After all, Mrs. Weasley had just said a couple of things which he would have rather not heard.

"What are you doing here?"

Harry quickly opened his eyes and looked around wildly in search of the source of the harsh question. It took him a moment to realize that the portrait of Sirius' great-grand-uncle Phineas Nigellus - Hogwarts' least favourite headmaster of all time – had come into the picture frame in Harry's room. The other frame Harry had seen him use hung in Professor Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts, where Phineas hung around and pretended to sleep for most of the day. Well, that way at least Dumbledore would know about him being here soon.

"What are you doing here?", Phineas repeated. "You're that Potter-boy, aren't you? I remember you! Answer me!"

"I've asked Professor Lupin to take me here", Harry said, for the moment forgetting to call him Remus. "I…I didn't want to stay with my muggle-relatives any longer."

"Hmpf." Phineas pulled a face. "I don't remember him mentioning to look out for your arrival", he mumbled. Harry shrugged apologetically. "He didn't actually know about it. Professor Dumbledore, I mean, if that's who you are talking about."

"Oh, I'm convinced that he will know very soon. There has been surprisingly little happening at headquarters over the past months which he didn't know about."

And without another word he was gone, probably back to Hogwarts to let Dumbledore know where Harry was. Harry only hoped that Remus didn't get into any trouble for bringing him here.

Though he still didn't know what to think of his earlier shouting match with Mrs. Weasley. Already last year Ron's mother had said a number of mean things to and about Harry's godfather. Harry still didn't know what to make of that. Whatever the reason why Mrs. Weasley disliked Sirius, and whatever it had to do with Mr. Weasley and Bill, it still seemed to affect her, even after Sirius' death.

Harry rolled to the side and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the world around him. He should have known that coming back here, to the last place where his godfather had lived, would hurt too much. And as if that wasn't enough, he only brought trouble along for those around him. Harry curled up on the bed and tried to hold back his tears, though he couldn't stop one of them from running down his cheek. He had cried far too much already lately.

He didn't see Remus standing silently in the doorway. After he had calmed down and thought for a minute or two about how his fight with Molly must have looked to Harry, he had decided to seek the teenager out. But now that he saw Harry like that – for the second time in two days – he realized that Molly had been right in one thing. He was not Sirius. Because unlike his deceased friend, he had absolutely no idea how to deal with such a situation. Truly, if Sirius was still alive, they would not be in this situation at all and Harry would not feel this bad. But Sirius would know how to deal with something like this. Sirius would instinctively know what to do to make the teenager feel better. Not that Remus was not feeling sympathetic, he wanted to help Harry cope with everything, he simply didn't know how. It was not exactly one of this strengths, Remus knew that. He could easily detect how people were feeling, but he always had problems in acting according to what he felt. There were those massive reservations he had concerning close contact with others. Reservations Sirius had never had. Remus really wanted to step into Harry's room right now and give the teenager a long hug, but something held him back, a little nagging voice inside of his head told him that he had no right to do so. That Harry didn't want him to do that, that the teenager would be repelled by close contact with him. And as long as he didn't know if Harry really wanted to be comforted by him, he'd rather not do anything. He simply couldn't.

With a huge mental sigh, Remus turned around and left the room. He'd better go inform Albus about what had happened, and then he ought to have a talk with Molly.

But the fireplace was in the kitchen, and he guessed that was where Molly was as well, so then it was taking the bull by its horns and talking to Molly first. He sighed and began to descend the stairs.

Molly and Arthur were sitting on the long kitchen table facing each other, talking lowly. They at first didn't realize that Remus had come into the room and only when he stepped into the light of the hearth did Arthur look up at him.

It was difficult for Remus to read the expression in Arthur's eyes, as a father of seven he seemingly knew very well how to conceal his emotions even if he was really angry, but there would be a time for that later.

"Arthur, could you give Molly and me a moment, please?"

Arthur wordlessly nodded and got up from his place, taking a stack of parchments that had been lying on the table in front of him with him. Remus poured himself a cup of tea and sat down facing Molly.

She didn't look up when he sat down, and Remus waited for a moment before he started to speak. It was a bit ridiculous, really. They knew each other for so many years now, they had already been in the Order together during the first war, and still Remus had problems in finding a start to apologize.

"Molly, I wanted to talk to you about earlier."

Finally the red-haired woman looked up at Remus.

"Why, forgot something to say?"

Remus shook his head and sighed sadly.

"No, Molly. I…I wanted to apologize. I had no right to say those things to you just because I'm angry and don't know how to vent it off. I know that you care deeply about Harry and that you as well as we all here want only the best for him. I was getting territorial where I had no right to do so, and I'm truly sorry for it."

Molly smiled at him slightly.

"It's all right, Remus. We're all going through hard times right now, and we all lose our temper from time to time. Merlin knows this house has seen enough of that during the past year."

"Molly, please." Remus sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Please, don't say that. Not here, not now. Molly, I know you never approved of Sirius, but for my sake please let go off it now. He has been my friend, and it's hard enough for me that he's gone as it is. We could talk about him for hours – we could talk about what nearly happened to Arthur and Bill back then for hours – and never once reach an agreement. Frankly, I don't have the will or strength for such a useless petty fighting. Could we maybe just try not to think of it for now? I wouldn't want to walk around you on tip-toe for as long as this here is going to last."

Slowly, Molly nodded.

"Yes, you're right. Sorry that I brought it up again. Let's just put it aside."

Remus smiled in relief and squeezed Molly's hand on the tabletop.

"Thank you."

He got up from the bench, took another cup down from the shelf and poured tea into it.

"I'd better go upstairs and look after Harry. I think I owe him an apology as well. And to Severus, too, come to think of it."

He grimaced slightly and Molly chuckled, easing some of the tension in the room.

"I'd dare saying that Severus won't give much mind to the fact whether you apologize or not."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. I'm still convinced that somewhere deep down he has buried something akin to feelings. But I'd rather worry about Harry first. But before I do that, I think I should tell Albus where Harry is now, otherwise he'll be after my hide."

He took the cup of tea over towards the stove, then knelt down in front of the fireplace and threw some floo-call powder into it.

"Hogwarts, headmaster's office."

It took endless moments until finally the flames flickered and Albus' head appeared in the fireplace. While Remus still thought how he'd best explain to his former headmaster what had transpired, Albus took that away from him.

"Ah Remus, I was wondering when you'd call to tell me about Harry's removal to Grimmauld Place."

Remus' jaw dropped and for a moment he had to think about what to respond. Wasn't there anything Albus Dumbledore didn't know about? Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

"Phineas Nigellus saw Harry and immediately returned to his frame here in my office to tell me about it. I wanted to contact you, but then a call from the Minister came in between."

"Albus, I know it went against your explicit orders, but there was a reason why I did not return Harry to his relatives."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully for a moment.

"I thought as much already. I will be at headquarters tonight, why don't we talk then?"

Remus nodded.

"I want to fetch Harry's things from his aunt and uncle, but I should be back in about an hour or two."

Dumbledore frowned.

"Talking about what you did today is one thing, and I don't doubt that you had a reason for what you did. But you know that Harry is safest with his relatives. Maybe it would be the best if we cleared up what happened and then thought about bringing him back."

Remus immediately shook his head.

"No. Albus, I won't let him go back there, at least not for the rest of this summer."

"What happened, Remus?"

Remus only shook his head. "Not via the fireplace. I'll tell you tonight. Goodbye Albus."

"Goodbye Remus."

As Remus leaned back on his heels he could not help a relieved sigh escaping his lips. Though he knew that Albus was concerned about Harry, he had not been entirely sure how his former headmaster would react to what Remus had done. Now he only needed to talk to Harry.

He got up from his position on the floor, picked up his own teacup as well as Harry's, then he went up towards Harry's room. In front of the door he breathed in deeply a couple of times, then he knocked hesitantly. It took a moment, and in front of his mental eye Remus saw Harry bring himself into a slightly more orderly position and wipe his eyes, then the teenager called Remus in.

Remus opened the door with his elbow and balanced the two cups in. Indeed Harry had gotten up from the bed and now sat on the windowsill with his knees drawn up to his chest. He glanced at Remus as the door opened but then quickly looked out of the window again. Remus went over and sat down on the windowsill so that he was facing Harry and placed the two cups in between them.

"I'm sorry that you heard Molly and me earlier."

"Only that I heard it?", Harry shot back a bit icily. Seemingly, his earlier feelings had quickly turned into anger.

"First and foremost that you heard it, yes. I don't enjoy fighting with Molly, either, but sometimes it happens. We talked about it and cleared it up."

Harry shrugged, then picked up his cup of tea.

"I don't like it when people fight because of me. I'm barely here for an hour and already you've gotten into a fight with both Professor Snape and Mrs. Weasley. Maybe I should go back to Privet Drive."

Remus shook his head, hoping that Harry would finally start to look into his eyes instead of staring out of the window.

"No, I don't think it would be better if you went back there. You didn't want to go back there only this morning, and I don't think you've changed your mind so quickly. I should not have gotten into the fight with Severus, but my temper just got the better of me. I'm not infallible. The same goes for my fight with Molly. But sometimes things like that just happen. You should know Professor Snape well enough to know that he'd not be pleased to have you here. It's more a principle than anything else. And my fight with Molly was about Severus and me, not about you. We want you to stay here, I want you to stay here. But you have to understand that we're only human, and ever since…since Sirius' death all our tempers have been a bit hotter than usual. It's never directed against you, Harry."

Harry only shrugged again, obviously still not entirely convinced or pacified. Remus smiled at him, but Harry still looked out of the window and thusly didn't see.

"I'm really sorry for what happened earlier, Harry."

"It's just…just so difficult to be back here. I had not thought it would be that hard to come back here after what happened to Sirius." Finally, Harry tore his gaze away from the street outside and looked at Remus. "And then there was only trouble and it got even more difficult. I don't know if it was such a good idea."

Remus listened wordlessly, and after Harry had finished he watched him intensely for another moment. He struggled to find the right words to tell Harry now. His own grief for his deceased friend made it even harder for him to say something, the words just didn't get past the painful lump in his throat. It took a minute until he was finally sure he could speak without his voice breaking.

"That Sirius is dead hurts, and will continue to hurt you. No matter if you're here or at Privet Drive. The difference is that here you have people who care for you, just like you said you wanted and needed to have around. Molly and Arthur will listen to you, I'll be there to listen anytime you want to. We all know what you've lost, because we've lost him as well. I doubt that in the long run you'd be better off at Privet Drive."

Again, Harry only shrugged in response. Remus saw that he was fighting to keep the tears at bay.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

This time, Harry shook his head immediately.

"No", he breathed out shakily. "Thanks, but I can't, not now."

Remus nodded. "I understand, it's all right. But I meant what I said earlier. If you want to talk, if you need someone to listen to you, I'll be there for you."

"I know, thanks."

"All right. Now, I'll be off to fetch your things from Privet Drive, so I'll be gone for an hour or so. Molly and Arthur are down in the kitchen. Maybe they can bring Ron over earlier than planned, from all I know he and Ginny are at the Burrow at the moment. Was Hedwig at Privet Drive?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, but I left her cage open, so she was probably off hunting when I was brought to the hospital."

"I'll see if she's close by or not. If she isn't, I'm sure she's clever enough to find you here. After all, she was here last summer. And if not she'll probably try the Burrow. Professor Dumbledore wanted to drop by later this evening, I told him that I moved you. Well, actually Phineas told him, and he seemed okay with the decision for now. I'll explain the rest tonight."

"Good, thank you."

"I'll see you later, then."

"Yeah, until later."

With a last encouraging smile Remus got up from the windowsill and left the room. Hopefully the upcoming encounter with Harry's relatives would be shorter and less difficult than the last one. He didn't fancy a lengthy discussion with the muggles now, not while his patience was as strained as it already was.

About an hour later, Remus rushed out of the fireplace in the basement kitchen of Nr. 12 Grimmauld Place again. He should have known that any hope of Harry's relatives not straining his nerves was short-lived. Those people seemed to have the inborn ability to annoy him. He didn't know how Harry managed to live with them for as long as he had done without losing his control more often than he had. So Harry had blown up his uncle's sister once, but after what Remus had faced over the past two days alone, he could sympathize with that. He had had half a mind to do worse things to those people this afternoon. It had not helped at all that Remus still felt tired and dizzy as he had done all day. Actually, as he had done all week. But as he had not had that much time to get rest it was no surprise, really. Not that he got much rest anyway, his insomnia and the nightmares took care of that. But that was something he would worry about once Harry was safe and settled, right now the teenager was far more important than his own problems of slight exhaustion.

With a sigh Remus put Harry's trunk and the empty owl-cage down on the floor near the hearth. After a short initial struggle of wills which Remus had won, Vernon had agreed to let him take Harry's possessions. It could have been the promise that Harry would not return to Privet Drive that summer which had made the man agree, it could also have been the fear of what a fully educated wizard could do to him in case he did not comply. Whatever it had been, Remus could not have cared less about it. He had packed up all of Harry's possessions as quickly as he could, had taken Hedwig's empty cage and had left the house without another word to Harry's relatives. On his way to Arabella's he had done his best to let off the steam which had accumulated during the visit so that he would not let it out on Arabella or anybody else, but he still felt angry. The air of those people, really! And come to think that they had been allowed to raise Harry, the fact that he had become such a nice and caring young man despite their education still was a miracle for Remus.

"Good afternoon, Remus."

Remus spun around and gasped. He must have been really lost in his thoughts if he hadn't realized that he was not alone in the kitchen.

"Hello Albus. You're early, I had not expected you before this evening."

Remus pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table so that he was facing Dumbledore.

"I see you brought Harry's things. All went well at Privet Drive?"

"As well as could be expected considering whom we're talking about. They're definitely not people I like to spend time with."

That was only the beating about the bush-part of their conversation, Remus was aware of that. But no matter what Dumbledore had to say about Harry's protection, his visit in Little Whinging had convinced Remus that taking Harry out of there had been the right decision. Had been the only decision he could make with a clear conscience.

"Now, I have to admit that I'd very much like to know what convinced you to take Harry to Grimmauld Place, Remus. At some risk, I have to say."

"I minimized the risks as well as I could. I know it was an illegal portkey, but nobody found out about it. Dung wiped our trace, and he was watching that the coast was clear for us at Grimmauld Place Alastor so that we could get safely inside. And we were hidden under a Concealment Charm. As for why I took those risks to bring Harry here, his relatives were reason enough, believe me."

"What happened?"

Remus laughed mirthlessly and crossed his legs.

"Aside from the fact that Harry nearly died under their roof and they didn't realize? Albus, they were not worried about him at all. Normally when somebody's nephew seemingly tried to commit suicide, it would be normal for the relatives to worry, wouldn't it? But their only worry was that Harry could get sick on their new car-upholstery, or that they could be seen in his presence! They didn't care at all, not about why he could have possibly done that or if he'd be all right, their only worry was how this could influence their own lives!"

Dumbledore watched Remus' outburst calmly.

"But from what I know, Harry didn't try to commit suicide, did he?"

"No, but even when it still looked as if he had tried, they didn't care. Albus, those people can't be entrusted with Harry, especially not after what he's been through lately. He has lost Sirius, do I really need to tell you what that means for him? He needs help now to start dealing with that, and they are definitely not the kind of support he needs now."

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling for a long moment. When he finally looked at Remus again, the younger man was completely unable to tell the headmaster's thoughts.

"Remus, it's the place where Harry is safest."

"And it's the easiest solution, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is what I said. It's the easiest solution. Harry is locked away in Little Whinging and nobody needs to worry any further about him. He might be physically safe there, but do you have any idea what being forced to stay there does to him? It surely has a reason why we all so easily believed that Harry tried to commit suicide, because it was a known fact that he was unhappy there. Only this morning he told me that he doesn't want to return there. He can't stand to be there anymore, and it takes a lot to make Harry admit something like that. We all try to protect Harry, but shouldn't we for once consider what he wants?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"I've always wanted the best for Harry. And his safety is paramount Remus, you know that."

"But it's not the only thing that counts. I know that you care about Harry, but that you have a lot to do and thusly can't care for him twenty-four hours a day. But there are others who can, I can do that. Harry was here last summer as well and nobody was overly worried about additional safety measures. I want to give him a chance to for once be around people who care for him when he needs it. And he needs it now. He can't cope with Sirius' death, not alone. I won't let him return to his relatives, he won't be able to deal with what happened, not there. He might be physically safest there, but I'm far more worried about his mental wellbeing right now."

Dumbledore watched Remus for another long moment, and Remus suddenly felt very exhausted. Now that he had said what he had wanted to say the tension left him. His head started to throb and all he wanted to do was lie down and start another hopeless attempt at getting a few hours of sleep without nightmares.

"Harry refuses to go back there?"

Remus shook his head.

"Albus, if you told him to go back there, he would. He'd write a letter every other day stating that he's fine, but he'd be lying. You should know him well enough to know that he'll always put the wishes of others above his own. But I'm sure it would not be good for him to return there, at least not for the rest of this holiday."

Slowly, Dumbledore nodded.

"If you think it's best for Harry." There was still a slight note of doubt in his voice. "I don't know exactly when Molly and Arthur were planning to bring Ron and Ginny over, we had spoken about bringing Harry here for the last two weeks of the holiday if nothing happened in between. If we let him stay here however, we will have to make sure that he's not alone in the house under any circumstances. We cannot be careful enough, Voldemort will be doing all he can to locate headquarters. And he'll put an even stronger effort in finding Harry. And no matter that the protection around Grimmauld Place is strong, he is not as safe here as he would be at Privet Drive."

"But for the moment he is safe here", Remus objected. Dumbledore nodded hesitantly.

"For the moment, yes. But what if something happens?"

"What kind of something do you mean?"

"What if this war starts, Remus? As soon as Voldemort finally reveals himself publicly, as soon as he takes action, we will all be demanded very much. I know I don't have to tell you, you have been in the Order during the first war already. In that case we have to think about removing Harry from Grimmauld Place. It would be too dangerous, we are already in constant danger of Voldemort locating us. Until we are not demanded elsewhere, we can do everything we can to prevent detection, but what if our attention is needed elsewhere?"

Remus crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"What are you driving at?"

"The arrangement Molly, Arthur and I had concerning Ginny and Ron was that they could remain at Grimmauld Place for the rest of the holidays if it's too difficult for the Weasleys to have to change between the Burrow and back. But you have to keep in mind that wherever Harry is lies also one of the focuses of Voldemort's attention. Taking him away from the protection of his blood-relatives is dangerous, so I agree to let him stay here under the condition that he leaves Grimmauld Place as soon as I say it is too dangerous for him to stay here."

That brought a deep frown onto Remus' face.

"Leave for where? Back to those muggles?"

"One possibility is bringing him back to the Dursleys, yes. The other is bringing him to Hogwarts. Those are the only places where he'll be relatively safe without a guard."
Remus shook his head, got up and walked over to lean against the kitchen counter.

"The only problem being that there is nobody else at Hogwarts who could keep him company, and also for the unlikely case that something unforeseen happens. I doubt that Severus is willing to do that. Though I doubt that the Weasley children or Hermione would let him go there alone, if it comes to that. That and one Order member would be a sufficient protection in the castle."

"I understand what you mean. And should it come to the point where you say that Harry has to leave Grimmauld Place, I will go with him to Hogwarts."

"I know that you see him as your responsibility, not only because you were the one who took him out of the hospital, but also because you care deeply for him. But it might be better to cross that bridge when we come to it. Should it come to the moment when Harry has to leave, we will see who is best suited for the task at this particular moment. I do care about Harry's feelings, but his physical safety is paramount. If he falls into Voldemort's hands, his emotional welfare is the smallest problem, anyway."

Remus nodded and got up.

"I understand. Thank you, Albus. I'd better get Harry's things upstairs now."