Chapter 08 – Night Time Horrors

A man silently walked down the narrow and dark street, the hood of his robe drawn to prevent the constant drizzle of rain from soaking him any further. In the still rather cold April evening air his breaths were forming small white clouds in front of his mouth as he strode down the alley in fast steps. Next to him a slightly taller and broader man was walking wrapped up equally tight in his cloak, setting their pace with his long strides. They had not spoken to each other during the past minutes, too wrapped up had they been on getting to their destination, because the sooner they reached it, the sooner they'd get out of this weather, but now the taller of the two men broke the silence.

"Trust Dumbledore to give that assignment to us, especially in this weather. If I didn't know better, I'd say he wants us to catch pneumonia."

Remus Lupin chuckled lightly and shook his head at his friend's pessimistic view on things. Truly, he could have imagined something better to occupy himself with today as well, but he was also very much aware of the limited resources the Order was having. If there was a task to be done, there was no use in complaining about it and trying to shift the responsibility over to somebody else. Especially if it was an as promising but also as risky a task as theirs today. But he didn't say it out loud, he knew that Sirius understood it despite his words. In truth Sirius would probably not have wanted anybody else to do this, anyway. Sirius defined himself by what he could actively do, he had never been somebody to sit around and let others do the work.

"You could have tried that water-repelling charm for your robes, Sirius, then you wouldn't be that uncomfortable now."

Sirius grunted something as a response, too low even for Remus' hearing to catch it. He only hoped that Sirius would not catch a cold in this weather, not so much because he was overly worried for his friend's health, but because he knew that Sirius would be insufferable if he only got as much as a sneeze by this evening.

As they reached the end of the narrow street in one of London's most unpleasant parts, Sirius suddenly stopped and gestured for Remus to halt behind him. When he turned towards his childhood-friend, Remus could see that Sirius' face had taken on an emotionless and attentive expression, one that always showed on his face when he was entirely focussed on his work.

"Now, see that old warehouse over there, Remus?" He gestured to an old and run down building a couple of houses down to their left. Remus nodded. "That's what Dumbledore was talking about."

Remus could not help but shudder a bit at the thought of what might be awaiting them there. Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts but also – and during times of war like they were having now even more importantly – head of the resistance Order against Voldemort and his followers had many informants in the wizarding world. Not all of them were trustworthy, but in desperate times a resistance group like the Order of the Phoenix could hardly be picky about where their information had come from. They needed to be careful, and they could not trust any of their informants blindly, but if a piece of information seemed this interesting, they had to go check it out. And that was what Remus and Sirius were doing in this deserted street somewhere in an industrial suburb of London, trying to find out whether that inconspicuous empty warehouse was indeed one of the Death Eater hideouts that were spread all around the country.

Of course Albus Dumbledore had not sent the two of them to go and interfere with anything that might be going on in there, they were solely there to find out if their information was true and maybe even

which Death Eaters were hiding out here. Surveillance duty, something Sirius had only grudgingly agreed to take over. The impulsive and often rash man simply wasn't somebody to sit around and watch, he always needed to have the feeling that he was doing something. Faced with the decision between being in a fight and keeping watch over something Sirius would always choose the fight, a thought that didn't particularly do anything good for Remus' peace of mind. But he knew that he could not change his friend, so he had learned to live with it. So far, they had been lucky and though the war had claimed far too many victims already, none of their close friends had been amongst them. Remus silently prayed that this would remain so.

The reason why they were out here that particular night was that though Order members had managed to locate quite a number of high-ranking Death Eaters over the past months, certain celebrities in Voldemort's ranks were still out there causing havoc. If the order could only manage to finally prove that Lucius Malfoy and his clan were actively supporting the Dark Lord, or if they could eventually discover the location of the Lestranges, it would be a huge step into the right direction for the Order and the resistance, and word from their informant had it that the Lestranges were supposed to be using this hideout from time to time. That was mainly why Sirius and Remus were here that night – make sure that the building would be effectively but unobtrusively monitored from now on. They were here to plant the monitoring devices and to place the charms.

The Order was short of trustful members who could be assigned with such a task, and so when Dumbledore had approached them Sirius and Remus had immediately agreed. Not that they would have declined anyway, both were far too engaged in the Order work to let others do it.

Neither Sirius nor Remus needed to talk about what they'd have to do next anymore, they had been over it at headquarters at least five times. With a couple of well placed tracking and searching charms they made sure that no booby-traps were awaiting them and that nobody was hiding between the garbage cans or in empty doorways. Sirius carried an emergency portkey for them in case things went wrong nevertheless, but at the moment it was inactivated and resting in the pocket of his robe.

Their revelation spells didn't show any trace of magical activity or any life forms in the building, but that didn't have to mean anything. It was already dark outside, and darkness was usually when the Death Eaters came out to play. Remus would have been surprised if they had found masses of people in the building at this time even if it was the London hideout.

While Remus placed a couple of surveillance and monitoring charms and devices on the buildings behind him Sirius carefully crossed the street to do the same. The whole action took only a couple of minutes, and once they had done the same on the other side of the building they would be set to leave again. With a nod of his head Remus signalled Sirius that he was finished, and both set off to get to the other side of the building.

They had not made it halfway through the alley, moving from shadow to shadow when suddenly Remus' sensitive hearing picked up a muffled incarnation from far behind and above them, and acting purely on instinct he grabbed Sirius around the shoulders and pulled him to the floor. Before the startled Sirius even had a chance to realize what was happening, a green flash of light shot through the air where his back had been only moments earlier.

"Fuck!"

The two of them scrambled into the partial security behind a large garbage dumpster as around them a hell broke loose. Curses were shouted from everywhere around them, be it the flat rooftops of the empty warehouses or closing in from the two ends of the alley around them. They were trapped.

"Fuck!", Sirius repeated while he was fumbling in his pocked for their emergency portkey, "It's a trap! How did they bloody know about it?"

"I don't know", Remus repeated from where he was trying to deflect curses and shoot his own spells over the top of the dumpster, "but I'd rather have you find that portkey and get us out of here now!"

"A moment, a moment, all right?"

"Hurry!"

Remus guessed that it were about ten Death Eaters advancing on them, and though they were partially shielded behind their cover, they also had no way to escape their attackers other than the portkey.

"Got it!"

Remus ducked down to avoid a curse hitting him and Sirius stretched out his hand towards him. On his palm was an old-fashioned muggle key – trust Sirius to take the smallest available item as an emergency portkey – and Remus immediately placed his finger on it. Sirius did the same and waved his wand over the portkey to activate it.

Five seconds later they were still sitting behind the garbage dumpster, and they were still being shot at by Death Eaters.

"It's not working!"

There was a slight note of panic in Remus' voice, but Sirius didn't answer. Instead he waved his wand a couple of times over the portkey, then threw it away with a groan.

"It's blocked! They bloody blocked this bloody place for portkeys!"

This was not good. Definitely not good.

Both simultaneously raised their wands and attempted to apparate out, but Remus had already guessed that if the Death Eaters knew about the Order sending a pair to investigate and blocked the area against portkeys, they'd also ward it with an anti-apparition field. That's what their portkeys were for, actually. Anti-apparition wards were far easier to construct and hold up than portkey blocks, and thus were used far more often.

But no portkey and no apparition meant that there was no way out except from fighting their way through a bunch of Death Eaters who outnumbered them at least five to one. Bloody great!

Remus was starting to feel a little breathless.

"What now?"

"We don't have much choice, I'd say. We have to fight us through."

Remus nodded, though he didn't like it. He was quite a good dueller, but he preferred to avoid having to use that skill whenever he could. But right now, it obviously couldn't be avoided.

Remus nodded at Sirius, both tensing in their crouch behind the dumpster.

"You take the right side, I'll take the left. Watch the roofs."

"All right." Remus took one last deep breath to steel himself, and with another look at Sirius both jumped up behind the dumpster and began to shoot their own curses, hoping to even their numbers out at least a bit more.

Remus as well as Sirius stuck to the method of stunning rather than killing their opponents so that those could be arrested and interrogated later on, and Remus only hoped that he would not have to kill even as a last resort to save his own life. How ridiculous would it be for him to kill somebody as a human after years and years of taking care that he didn't harm anybody during full moon nights. That was his general view on actively partaking in Order activities, but right now he did not have the time to think about something like that.

Their opponents seemingly felt safe due to their number against only two opponents, but that also made them careless. They did not expect an attack from the two outnumbered Order members, so when Remus and Sirius suddenly jumped out from behind the garbage dumpster they were not sufficiently prepared. Two of them did not get the chance to prepare themselves, they were stunned and disarmed before they even knew what was happening, but that was about as much as Remus and Sirius got from their moment of surprise.

His heart beating fast in his throat, Remus quickly moved away from the garbage dumpster and towards his right. His eyes roamed over the rooftops on his side, but he could detect no movement from above despite his good night-vision. The Death Eaters had taken cover as well, but Remus knew that they were advancing on them and only waiting for a moment to strike. It was a bit like playing hide and seek, Remus thought, and immediately scolded himself for letting his thoughts drift like that in such a perilous situation. Movement caught his eye and he quickly ducked and shot a Full-Body-Bind into the direction from where he had seen the movement. From his left, a curse flashed by his shoulder. Remus knew that it had thrown just enough light for his opponents to know where he was, so he aimlessly cursed ahead twice or thrice, then retreated back into the direction of the garbage dumpster.

He could no longer see Sirius, to his left he saw lights flash by in the short seconds he dared to look away. At least that meant Sirius was still standing.

"Remus! Above you!"

Remus spun around and aimed his wand up just in time to see a slightly darker shadow move along the edge of the dark-grey roof.

"Stupefy!"

The fall from the roof and the following landing had probably not been comfortable for the Death Eater, but Remus was already moving backwards again, trying to lure one of the remaining Death Eaters into the open. Three or four still had to be standing at least, and he could not duel that many at once. He'd have to take them out one after another, hoping that none of them would get him first.

Suddenly, something moved along behind the rows of old cardboard boxes to his right. Normal people might not have heard it, but Remus' sensitive lycanthropic hearing caught the sound of something moving, scratching against the cardboard. Approaching him.

He tensed, gripped his wand tighter and kept his eyes firmly trained on the closest of the many places the other Death Eaters could hide behind here in the alley. His hearing was all the while focussed on the one who was approaching him. Slowly, ever so slowly, Remus brought his wand towards the place where the Death Eater would be shortly before he had to leave his cover behind the cardboard boxes. He breathed in deeply once and listened again. But the movement had stopped. Carefully, Remus balanced his weight on both his legs and then, suddenly and unexpectedly, like a cat jumping up a table, he moved forward to cut off the Death Eater's way and cursed.

"Stupefy!"

The cardboard boxes blew up and flew into every direction, and as the red light subsided Remus saw the biggest rat he had ever seen lying unconscious between the boxes and the wall. Remus spun around and brought his wand up, sensing a presence behind himself.

"Stupefy! Expelliarmus!"

Both curses must have hit the dark shadow advancing on him, because Remus heard the low 'thud' of a body falling to the concrete floor and he saw the wand slide into his direction. But from the corner of his eyes he realized that this had not been the only Death Eater advancing on him. Remus brought up his wand, but he already saw the flash of light shoot towards him. Instinctively, he moved to the side, but knew that he could not completely avoid being hit. The next thing Remus recalled happening was that he was forcefully thrown back against the concrete wall of the building behind him, the air knocked clearly out of his lungs. Gasping in pain, he brought his left hand up to his right arm and was not the least surprised when it came back covered in blood. Whatever spell had hit him, he was lucky that he had moved slightly to the side before he had been hit, otherwise it would have been his chest and not his arm which had been torn open. Still, his arm looked bad enough at first sight. His upper arm, forearm and the back of his hand were cut open and bleeding.

But there was hardly anything he could do about it right now, and if those Death Eaters closed in on them then he'd not have to worry about anything anymore.

With a huge effort, Remus got to his feet again and moved over to where Sirius had been standing. Only that Sirius was no longer standing there, Remus realized with a start.

With wide eyes Remus watched as his ever too daring friend left his cover and now himself advanced on the remaining Death Eaters. Three were still standing as far as Remus could tell, and standing alone against them was ridiculously idiotic as far as Remus was concerned. He hurried to get to his friend's side when he suddenly saw Sirius raise his wand and a feeling of dread settled in his stomach. Remus knew that Sirius was powerful, but taking up three Death Eaters all on his own was not something he could imagine to end well.

"Ondavem Desfortam!"

Stupid, Sirius! This is stupid, Remus thought. He was here, he would have come to Sirius' aid in a couple of beats, there simply had been no need for his friend to take the risk of such a dangerous and draining spell. Though Remus was quite proud of its effects. As if hit by a powerful wave, the three hooded men were thrown back and knocked against the walls behind them where they remained motionless. Sirius sank to his knees, pale and shaken, completely exhausted by the strong magic he had just performed. Remus broke into a run, but before he had crossed maybe half the distance to Sirius, a dark shadow towards his left knocked Sirius over from the side.

"Sirius!"

It took Remus a moment to realize that he himself had been the one to shout his friend's name. The one Death Eater who was obviously left landed on top of the startled Sirius, who out of reflex more than anything else pulled up his knee to his chest and forcefully knocked the Death Eater away from him, then he quickly used the momentary advantage to knock the Death Eater's wand away. Remus allowed himself a glorious moment of relief when he heard the wood clatter on the wet street, but this relief truly only lasted a moment.

Eyes wide with horror Remus watched as the Death Eater pulled a dagger out of the folds of his robes and with a quick movement rammed it into Sirius' belly. Time seemed to slow down and Remus was too far away to do anything, too far away to intervene and save his friend, he had to watch helplessly how his friend's eyes widened in astonishment.

With another blurred movement the Death Eater pulled the dagger out again, and finally Remus tore himself out of his stupor. He brought up his wand and fired a series of stunning- and immobilizing spells into the direction of the Death Eater, but missed him by a couple of inches. Anger and raw fear took over and Remus quickly added some of the most nasty and dangerous spells he remembered, but the Death Eater ducked down in time to avoid them. As Remus looked down his wand-arm he was astonished to see that his hand was shaking badly.

The Death Eater was seemingly surprised to be faced with another opponent – one who was still standing, no less – and after what appeared to be a quick inner debate he turned around and vanished into the shadows, probably leaving the anti-apparition wards to apparate away. Remus didn't particularly care about the Death Eater at the moment, his eyes immediately searched out Sirius again.

His friend had sunk to his knees and had both of his hands pressed against his belly, a completely shocked and bewildered expression on his face.

In the dark street, Remus could not see much but his heart stopped a beat as he saw Sirius' eyes roll back in his head and Sirius fell limply to the floor.

"Sirius!"

Remus started running and a moment later he reached the prone form of his friend, falling to his knees beside him.

"Sirius! Can you hear me?"

Sirius didn't answer, but with quite some relief Remus noticed that his friend at least was still breathing.

"Sirius, answer me! Talk to me, come on!" Gently, he slapped Sirius' cheeks but again received no reaction.

With trembling hands Remus reached down and pulled Sirius' robe open. The shirt he wore underneath was already soaked with blood, and as Remus pulled the shirt up a gush of blood flowed over his hands out of the large wound that went all across Sirius' lower abdomen.

This was not good, Remus thought in desperation. Sirius hadn't merely been stabbed, from the looks of it the Death Eater had nearly gutted him. The wound ran across Sirius' belly just below the navel and it looked deep. And judged by the amount of blood Sirius was losing, that bastard had hit something vital.

"Oh Fuck! Sirius hold on, all right?"

Remus normally didn't curse, but right now he couldn't think of anything else to say. He was no healer, and thought being a werewolf had given him an ample theoretical knowledge about injuries and healings, his own abilities and especially practical experiences in healing were extremely limited. After all, when he had been badly injured after a transformation, he always had been unable to heal them himself. Remus was very competent to deal with small scratches and bruises, also with mending a broken bone if absolutely necessary, or countering curses that had gone wrong. But he could not heal a wound like that one, that was far beyond his abilities He didn't even know the appropriate spells to deal with an arterial bleeding. But he definitely needed to do something. With a bleeding as strong as this one, Sirius would not be able to hold on for much longer.

Without really thinking about what he was doing Remus took the most desperate means he could think of, picked up his wand and sent an emergency signal.

Usually when Order members were sent on a mission they always had a backup plan, and for cases when something went wrong they also carried an emergency Portkey. Sending and emergency signal like Remus had done it just now on the other hand made every single alarm at headquarters go off, telling the ones who were keeping watch there that something had gone seriously wrong and that they needed help immediately.

Remus only hoped that somebody whit a bit of an expertise in healing magic was there. Albus or Andromeda would be able to help Sirius, heck, even Kingsley knew more about those things than Remus. A distant part of Remus' brain swore to remedy that situation and learn more about magical first aid as soon as this was over. If it wasn't too late by then, he'd never forgive himself if it was.

"Lumos!"

In the dim light from the tip of his wand the wound looked even worse. A pool of blood was forming under Sirius' body, and the bright red blood was painting horrible patterns onto Sirius' pale skin.

Sirius normally wasn't that pale, Remus noticed. He was losing too much blood, far too much blood.

"Damn it Sirius, don't you do that to me!"

Not knowing what else he could do, Remus put his wand aside and pressed both of his hands onto the bleeding wound, wincing as the movement made a stab of pain shoot through his right arm. Looking down he found that his arm was covered in his own blood which was still oozing out of the wounds on his shoulder, upper arm and the back of his hand.

But this was not the right time to contemplate his own injuries, he needed to help Sirius now. There was no danger to transmit his lycanthropy to Sirius by his blood, and that would have been the only reason to stop him from doing this. But pressing his hands down as hard as he dared to, Remus realized that he would not be able to stop the bleeding completely, no matter what he did.


"Hold on Padfoot, all right? Just hold on."

There was no reaction from the prone man on the ground, but Remus realized that Sirius' breathing was getting more and more shallow.

"No, don't you do that to me! Hear me, Padfoot? Don't you dare to give up now!"

Sirius' blood was flowing out beneath his fingers no matter how much he pressed against the wound and then suddenly Remus knew that Sirius would not survive until help arrived.

Which was a possibility Remus would not even consider accepting.

"Hold on, Sirius! You can't just die here, understand? I won't allow you to die here under my hands!"

Remus pressed down even harder, trying to still the flow of blood beneath his hands though he knew that what he was doing was futile. He was starting to feel slightly dizzy himself, something he was blaming on his own blood-loss. But his own injuries were really not important now, he needed to keep up for Sirius.

Closing his eyes, Remus concentrated solely on the feeble and failing signs of life which were still coming from his friend's body. Sirius' breathing was hardly more than a weak movement of his chest, just above from where Remus' hands were pressing against the wound, and each of Sirius' weak heartbeats pressed more precious blood out of his body and over Remus' hands, but Remus willed them to continue, no matter that he knew how futile it was. He simply did not allow himself to accept that Sirius might stop breathing or that his heard might stop beating. Not if he could do anything to prevent it.

'You can't die now!'

Remus didn't have the strength left to speak the words out aloud, but he kept repeating them over and over in his mind, just like a mantra.

'Hold on, Sirius. Please don't die.'

His own breathing was getting faster and harsher and his head was starting to hurt badly, but he refused to let go now. A distant part of his brain was aware that what he was doing was hopeless anyway, and that he himself was clinging to consciousness by a very thin thread, but he forcefully pushed those thoughts into the back of his mind and desperately fought to stay awake.

His body felt numb, only the feeling in his chest and arms was left, making them feel strangely warm.

'Hold on, Sirius."

Why did it take the others so bloody long to come and help them? It felt as if he had sent the emergency signal hours ago, it surely could not take the others so long to react to it? Maybe nobody had been at headquarters when he had sent the signal. Though it was usually guarded twenty-four hours a day, it happened on occurrence that due to certain circumstances nobody was there. After all, they were not that many people in the Order, and though everybody was dedicated to their work, they all had private lives as well. James and Lily had a small child to take care of, most of the others had jobs and families as well, it could happen that something forced the ones who were on watch to leave headquarters unguarded at times. And if nobody had been there when Remus' emergency signal had come in…he didn't want to think about it.

'Don't die on me here, Sirius. You have to stay with me, please!'

Though he had his eyes closed, Remus felt as if his head was spinning, and still he felt Sirius' blood flow out from beneath his fingers. He knew that his own wounds had to be bleeding as well, but he was too far gone to feel any pain. His only thoughts circled around Sirius and how he could possibly keep his friend alive for long enough.

Sirius simply could not die. Not here, not now. They needed Sirius, and Remus simply could not imagine him dying right now. Not Sirius, not the one of his friends who had always found a way out so far, no matter how hopeless the situation had been. Not the one of them who had never even thought about giving up their fight against the darkness that threatened their world because he had been convinced to the core of his being that they were doing the right thing, no matter how futile it was. Doubts and fears had hardly ever been on Sirius' agenda. His death had never been.

'Stay with me, Sirius. Please.'

Remus wasn't sure, but he thought that he had heard steps approaching. There were voices talking, weren't there? Whom were they talking to? Him? Or was this all only an illusion of his weary mind?

And what if those were the Death Eaters who had returned to finish what they had started?

Exhaustion was catching up rapidly with him, and even if there were Death Eaters approaching Remus knew he could not defend Sirius and himself anymore.

From out of nowhere, strong arms suddenly wrapped themselves around his chest and pulled him away from Sirius. When had he fallen over his friend? Whoever had arrived was pulling him away from Sirius, and Remus had to realize that he was too weak to struggle against them. Didn't they understand that he had to keep on trying to limit Sirius' blood flow? Was Sirius still breathing? He had to control whether Sirius was still breathing, he needed to get to him now!

His breaths coming in short gasps, Remus tried at least to turn his head and open his eyes to see who was holding him back.

"What in Merlin's name has happened here?"

"Remus? Remus, can you hear me?"


Somebody slapped his cheeks, but Remus barely felt it. He knew those voices from somewhere, but before he could even start to think about whom they belonged to, his weak grip on consciousness failed and everything went dark.

With a sharp intake of breath, Remus scared himself upright in his bed, sleep-blinded eyes straying around the dark room in search of something that would tell him where he was and what had happened. His heart was beating fast in his throat and his breathing was sharp and hitched. Sweat drenched his pyjamas and he struggled wildly to free himself from under the blankets which were wrapped tightly around his body and made him feel trapped. As his eyes slowly got accustomed to the light, he found himself in his bedroom at Grimmauld Place. It took him a moment to realize what this meant, to realize that though what he had just dreamed had been real, it also lay fifteen years in the past now.

With a sound that was half-sigh, half-sob, Remus sank back into his pillow and tried to still his erratic breathing and heartbeat. It had happened again, just like last night and the night before. And the night before that. There had not been one night since Sirius' death through which he had slept without interruption. He could sympathize with what Harry had told him about his own nightmares and his desperate attempt to stop them. Though Remus had learned by now that nothing could stop the nightmares, nothing short of taking potions to sleep. And that prize would simply be too high.

But he would not be able to stand those nights for much longer, that much he knew. His body craved rest, and he simply did not get any as of late. Every night he woke up after only a few hours of sleep, scared awake by memories he would have rather forgotten. Strangely, it was not Sirius' death that was haunting him. Or maybe it wasn't all that strange, come to think of it. The moment of Sirius' death had been shocking and painful for Remus, but it had only been a few seconds. Far too short for Remus to immediately understand the implications of what was happening. He had known that Sirius was dead, but had not truly understood it at that time. There had never been a body he had seen, no physical evidence that his friend had died, only the knowledge that it had happened. But those seconds of Sirius' death had conjured up far more painful memories for Remus, memories of a night that had become traumatic for him. And they haunted him in his sleep.

It had been more than fifteen years ago now that he and Sirius had gotten into that Death Eater ambush, but powered by the pain Sirius' death had caused, those memories now held a power over Remus far stronger even than they had done even at the time when it had happened. Seeing and feeling the life leave his friend's body under his own hands had been a cruel and far worse experience than seeing him fall through that archway. Sirius had not died back then, he had survived the nearly fatal injury, but still those long minutes during which Remus had struggled to keep his friend amongst the living had etched themselves into his brain with a frightening intensity. And the pain they brought every time they surfaced became more and more unbearable. Back then he had managed to keep Sirius alive, but a few weeks ago there had been nothing he could have done. And now? Where was the sense in getting up every morning, in fighting this hopeless fight if all that ever came out of it were death and despair for those Remus cared for? He had not been able to do something against Sirius' death in the end, how could he imagine that anything he did would help them succeed against Voldemort? Remus had lost his hope that something good would ever come out of his life. So why was he still bothering to get up in the morning and run through his daily routine of doubting the sense in everything? He was only bothering everybody else with it, he was only causing problems.

With a weary sigh, Remus swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He could as well get up, he'd not be able to sleep anymore, anyway. He hardly ever could after the nightmares. The dreams stirred up too many thoughts which were going through his head. Too many memories, his own or what he had been told, all in all too many worries. He got up and took a shirt and a pair of trousers from the armchair next to his bed, then he silently walked over into the bathroom on the other side of the corridor. Normally, he'd have flinched upon seeing his pale and haggard features in the mirror above the sink. But after over a month of nearly sleepless nights, he had gotten used to the dark rings under his bloodshot eyes, the hollow cheeks and the listless expression in his eyes. So he merely splashed some cold water into his face, wiped it off with a towel and shrugged out of his sweaty pyjamas. He put on fresh clothes and brought the pyjamas back into his room, then he went downstairs into the basement kitchen. He'd make himself a cup of tea, and then he'd spend the rest of the night brooding over memories which he could not hold back. Just like every night. With another deep sigh, Remus set some water to boil, took a teapot and a few teabags and waited until he could prepare his tea.

As he sat down at the kitchen table with his cup a couple of minutes later, he tiredly leaned his head in his hand and stared down at the tabletop. Somewhere to his right, drops of water slowly fell from the tap and into the sink as he sat there and brooded.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.