Chapter 11 – Order Meetings

Even if Harry had not realized it, his birthday party had been a welcome relief from the daily routine at Grimmauld Place. A daily routine that consisted of meetings, meetings and even more meetings during which a variety of Order members discussed how little they actually knew and how helpless they actually were. To be honest, it was slowly eating Remus up from the inside. All those meetings were neither productive nor good for anything at all, so in Remus' opinion they made no sense whatsoever. But they day after Harry's party he went to the afternoon meeting without complaint. He'd sit through this one just like he had sat through the numerous meetings before, nursing his thin hope that this time it might be different and they might actually achieve something.

Remus was already rather unnerved by the time he came down into the kitchen, but nevertheless he forced his face into a calm and expressionless mask as he sat down at the table. There weren't many members attending the meeting, even Dumbledore had excused himself earlier that morning because he had important business at the Ministry. But Kingsley, Snape Moody, Dung, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie and Tonks were there. The intention of the meeting was to try and coordinate the latest developments in the DMLE with their own activities, but once more Remus was forced to listen to Kingsley telling them that even if the Ministry – and especially Fudge and those close to him – was planning a future action concerning Voldemort, then he didn't know about it. On his chair two places to Remus' right, Snape sneered.

"Ironic, isn't it?"

Kingsley turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

His voice showed clearly that he didn't have much patience left, but Snape didn't seem to notice.

"It's ironic that we have three Order members who are high-ranking in the DMLE, and still we know just as much as if we'd been to their official press-conference."

Kingsley narrowed his eyes.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Snape?"

Snape shrugged. "That it's sad to have three insiders in the department who gather next to none inside information. That could be one of the reasons why we don't get anything done at the moment."

"Oh, and what am I supposed to do in your opinion? Maybe I should stand in front of Fudge's office and listen at his door?"

Snape shrugged, and Remus literally saw Kingsley's temper rise. And Kingsley's was not the only temper rising here, Remus had hardly any patience left for petty fighting, either.

"Well", Snape replied with a grin, "at least then we'd have a chance of hearing something that's not known to the entire wizarding world. Even if it's just Minister Fudge's private conversation with Mrs. Fudge."

"Merlin's beard, Severus! Just leave it be, will you?", Remus interrupted the two before they could really start a fight. "We are all doing everything we can, could you just stop the criticizing and petty fighting?"

Snape rose an eyebrow. "So everybody's doing all they can, aren't they? Then the DMLE is a pitiful excuse for law enforcement, because if what Moody, Tonks and Shacklebolt found out over the past weeks is all that's going on there, then they're seemingly preparing to hand over the keys to the city to the Dark Lord!"

Remus got up so quickly that his chair fell backwards to the floor.

"This is not helping us any, Severus!"

"No, and neither is what Shacklebolt is doing helping us any!", Snape shot back, turning and stepping over so that he was standing right in front of Remus. The other people in the room just watched the two men, for the moment stunned speechless by this sudden show of open hostility. Dumbledore might have stepped in between immediately, but as he was not there, nobody else dared to. Remus glared at Snape, and as he spoke his voice was harsh and tightly controlled.

"Stop it, Severus. We can't afford to go at each other's throat now."

"So you think I should just stop saying what I think, Lupin?"

"No, but don't you think we're all aware of the problems the Order has? Because we are, and maybe we ought to search for solutions instead of yelling at each other!"

Snape shrugged as if he could hardly care less about the Order of the Phoenix and its problems at the moment. "Then maybe I should come back when those solutions are found. Or am I wrong in thinking that there is nothing new any of you has to report?"

Nobody answered, and after a moment Snape turned around and left the room. The silence kept on hanging over the room for some moments longer. Remus forced himself to breathe in deeply, then he picked up his chair and sat down again. Kingsley was still standing a bit helplessly behind his own chair, but eventually he broke the silence.

"Well, that was something different."

Remus shook his head. "Sorry. I just couldn't stand this today, I've listened to that petty and senseless fighting for long enough, it's wearing too much on everybody involved."

Kingsley waved him off. "Snape wasn't entirely wrong, though I don't particularly care about the way he said it. But I don't need Snape to point out that we're stuck, and I for one don't have any idea how we're going to get the information we're lacking."

Kingsley sat back down and everybody turned their attention to Moody as the old Auror spoke.

"It's the Minister who is keeping things from us. Kingsley or I only get told about procedures when we're directly involved in them. I don't know what the Minister is planning for the Aurors on a larger scale. On the one hand, he's relying so much on Dumbledore's suggestions, on the other hand he closes up as soon as the Order is mentioned."

"You mustn't forget that the Order is no official Ministry group. Fudge is not obliged to tell us anything or to involve us in anything", Tonks interrupted.

"But it's not correct to use all the information we've gathered over the past year now that he himself has finally admitted the truth and just leave us hanging like that!", Kingsley snapped angrily. Moody chuckled hoarsely.

"That's politics. There's nothing we can do about it, we just have to make the best of the situation."

Bill had been following the conversation silently, but now he seemingly could not keep quiet for any longer.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean, kid, is that as we can't change out momentary situation, we should make the best of it. Continue what we're doing, focus on the things the Ministry is not yet willing to do. I don't think we have another choice with things as they are now."

Remus shook his head.

"But the fact remains that we depend on the information we get from the DMLE. And it's no news that we're kept short on information. And that's the core of our problem, because if we don't know what the Ministry is doing or planning to do, then what we do might – in the worst case – be counterproductive. For how long is that supposed to continue before Fudge realizes as well that this is a mistake?"

Kingsley nodded at Remus' words. "The answer is to that is simple – until the missed chances bite him in the behind. We all know that this is how it works with Fudge. He likes things smooth and easy, without complications and without people interfering in his business. Of course he can use the information we give him, but if he has to imply the Order into his official agenda, things get too complicated for him to keep up. What do you think Dumbledore is doing at the Ministry all the time? Trying to convince Fudge to entrust the Order officially with certain tasks. We're not an official organization of the Ministry, and probably never will be if Fudge continues to act like that. No matter how much our work might be needed or appreciated, that doesn't mean they'll return the favour and will ever tell us something they found out. I don't see any chance to change that at the moment, though."

Silence settled over the room while everybody wracked their brains for a possible solution to their problem. The stretch of silence that followed only showed that nobody really had a good idea of what to do against their lack of information.

"What about the archives", Dung finally said. "Even Aurors have to do paperwork at times, you're whining about it far too much anyway. Maybe it would help if you spent a little more time down at the archives."

"I don't think that would be a solution, Dung. The important things would not be down in the public archives but somewhere else, and even if something relevant was to be found there, weeks or more can pass before a file ends up in the archive. All our information would be delayed and not really useful. If we could manage to get there at all, you've never seen an archivist when he or she thinks somebody doesn't have a right to be in the archives" Kingsley merely shrugged. "It is as I said – I can only do so much. There are simply parts of the DMLE I don't have an insight into, and neither has anybody else in the Order. You know that Alastor is kept short on information lately because they don't think he can't be trusted with his…", his eyes strayed to Moody and he eyed him carefully, as if searching for the right words, "…with his constant carefulness. And as long as we don't know if Fudge is really going to be open with us, we could do with a member a little further up in the Department, that's the only way I can think of to get us reliable information."

Dung shrugged. "What about Lupin? I mean, if you want one of the top men in the Department, that's definitely him, and as such he has the contacts we might need."

All eyes in the room turned on Remus, and he had a hard time not to let his anger show on his face. He shot Dung a very dark glare for bringing him into this situation and thusly forcing him to explain things he didn't want to explain to anybody outside his family, then shook his head.
"Don't look at me like that. I don't think that Janus would even consider helping us, and if he does then I am not the right person to ask him. Alastor ought to do that, or Albus, but I seriously doubt that he'll listen to anybody."

"Why not?"

Again, Remus glared at Dung for a moment, but the other man didn't seem to notice. Probably didn't want to, but then again Remus didn't know how much Dung knew about his brother. If he had only heard all the rumours about Janus, then it was no small wonder that he would not let go off the topic. Highly decorated Auror with a well-respected reputation. Only, none of the rumours said anything about Janus' obvious flaws in character, and Remus did not really want to explain those to the assembled audience. That would take far too long, and it was none of their business.

"He won't help us, believe me on this. I know him well enough to say that."

Kingsley seemed to know a bit more about Janus Lupin as a person because he kept silent. So did Moody, though Remus guessed that for different reasons. Aside from Remus, from all the people here in the room Moody knew Janus probably best. And contrary to Remus, he got along very well with Janus. That was probably the reason why Moody remained silent for the moment. Bill didn't seem to have any reservations against speaking, though. Quite obviously his curiosity – not to mention his firm belief in the rightness of their resistance – had been sparked.

"I mean, he's your brother, right?" Remus nodded wearily, already knowing where this would lead to. Bill continued. "And he's one of the top Aurors in the Department, literally a legend already. I mean, who would see the sense in what we're doing here if not him? He simply has to help us."

Remus sighed and shook his head again.

"I'm glad you still keep your optimism, Bill, but Janus has his own rules. I don't really think he'd be interested in what we're trying to do. He's fighting his own fight against Voldemort, within the Ministry's system. It's not as if he was idly twisting his thumbs, on the contrary I can imagine that he's overloaded with work at the moment. He neither has the time for nor interest in changing his rules all of a sudden. A civil resistance against Voldemort simply is not something he'd involve himself. And you have to consider that though many things can be said about him, he cannot be called disloyal." Seeing that Kingsley was about to say something, Remus shook his head once more. "No Kingsley. Whatever you want to say, it has no use. Janus might not be loyal to Fudge as a person, but he takes his job seriously. He takes the system he's working in seriously. And you above all others ought to know that this doesn't imply to provide outside sources with confidential information."

"Without the bits of information I can gather at the Ministry, we would be even more helpless."

Remus nodded wearily.

"I know that, Kingsley. I did not mean to affront you in any way. But while we all value your information a lot, you know that Janus sees things a lot differently. You know him, don't you?"

Kingsley nodded raising a hand to show Remus that he knew what he meant and that he understood that this was not the time for confrontation.

"Yes, sorry Remus. We're all a bit on the edge lately. You can't really blame Bill for trying, can you?"

Remus turned towards Bill again and smiled slightly at the obviously confused Weasley.

"As I said, I don't think it's a bad idea to get somebody further up in the DMLE working for us, but Janus is simply the wrong person to ask, that's all. You can try, but I don't think it will do any good. And if I try it, our chances that he helps will equal zero right from the start."

"But why?"

Remus shook his head again and waved Bill's question off. "Too long a story to tell now. Far too long a story."

Bill's curiosity was seemingly not satisfied, he sensed a story behind Remus' hesitancy to talk, but even as he opened his mouth to pose a new question, Moody interrupted him.

"Just stop it, kid. I know that Remus is probably right with what he is saying about his brother, and I for one think we ought to be more careful with whom we trust and whom not, anyway. Now, anybody else has something to say or are we finished for now?"

Everybody looked at each other and a few shakes of the head were exchanged. Moody nodded and slowly the people began to file out of the kitchen, all leaving to resume whatever task they had to keep them occupied. Remus remained and levitated the cups and plate towards the kitchen sink where he placed a scrubbing charm on them to clean them. He heard the people leave, but there was a distinct set of footsteps that did not sound and he knew that Moody had not left.

After maybe half a minute during which Remus had continuously stared at the water in the sink, Moody came up towards him and stood to his right, watching the younger man with his intense gaze.

"The kid didn't know any better, don't be angry at him."

"I'm not angry with Bill, I'm angry with Dung for even bringing Janus up."

Moody shrugged. "You know what he is like."

Remus angrily threw a sponge into the water and turned around so that he was facing Moody.

"And I know what Janus is like! You do as well, can you honestly imagine him being in the Order with us? Or rather, with you, because this Order is definitely not big enough for the both of us, but can you imagine it? Because I think it would be the rather abrupt end of everything we're trying to do. Janus gets pretty inconsiderate in his views and actions, and he has never really cared about anything else but himself. I know that it's not your fault that Dung even suggested such a hilarious idea, but you'd better do anything in your might to let it never become a reality, otherwise we can as well give up the whole resistance fight before it even begins."

Moody simply continued to look at him with that strange gaze, his magical eye giving Remus the impression that he was looking straight into his mind.

"There is a war about to start, Remus. Maybe you should resolve your family matters."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Only that I don't think it will help anybody if the two of you keep up your little family feud. Mundungus is right with one thing – the information Janus could give us would help us immensely. We need to be prepared for what is about to come."

"Is it my fault now that we don't have enough informants? Moody, just ask Janus if you think he will be so valuable, all right? You might be the only one here he'll listen to at any rate, but you'll see where it leads to!"

Moody shook his head and slowly walked over to the table again. "We don't need to talk about your brother's flaws. I have trained him when he came from France, I've been working with him for years now, I know all about his bad sides. He is arrogant, self-absorbed, vain, and he thinks he is Merlin's gift to the wizarding world."

"You forgot that he's also a narrow-minded bastard, but otherwise I agree, yes."

"But he can be trusted."

Remus shook his head. "What makes you so sure of that? Because I would not conclude that he can be trusted solely because he is my brother."

"No, but because he would hardly have anything to gain by betraying our side."

Remus shook his head and turned away from the kitchen counter. "People have changed sides for the strangest of reasons, Alastor. That doesn't mean I think Janus is working for Voldemort, but I know for a fact that he'd cause disagreements here in the Order. And that's something we absolutely don't need to top everything we're already struggling with. But look, I don't really want to have that discussion. Ask him if you think it will help, if not, then finally stop pestering me about it."

When Remus stormed to the door, Moody looked after him. Just as Remus reached the door, he added something to his earlier statements.

"Maybe you should resolve your problems with him before the war takes away the chance to do that."

Remus only shook his head in resignation, then he left the room. Moody could easily talk about that, he thought. What did the man think, who did he think he was to give such an advice? The conflict between Janus and himself rooted far in the past, in the time when they still had been children. That was nothing that could be solved with an afternoon of talking, just for the sake of making their peace before the war took away one of them. As if the world was ever this easy.

As Remus made his way upstairs, he contemplated that there was one main reason for his anger about the fact that Dung had suggested to get Janus working for the Order. Right now, Remus didn't want to have Janus in his life. Not more than necessary, anyway. The compromise they were living with right now had them seeing each other at Christmas, and on their father's birthday, and maybe once or twice a year on other occasions. And that was about as much of Janus as Remus could bear. Seeing him more often simply did not work out. And Remus did not even want to imagine what it would look like if Janus really worked for the Order. Their only chance to achieve something as a resistance was to stand as a united front, and the encounter with Severus this afternoon had shown that they needed to keep disagreements within the Order as small as possible. They barely managed it now, how should they manage to keep that up with somebody as strong-minded as his brother around?

Remus opened the door to his room and went in. After a quick inner debate as to what he was supposed to do with the remaining morning, he threw himself onto the bed and rubbed his aching temples. He really ought to do something against those headaches, he knew that. But not today. Maybe it would get better on its own if he took a little nap now. If he could sleep now, that was.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"What do you think they are doing down there?", Ron asked before he stuffed another chocolate frog into his mouth.

"You mean the meeting?"

Ron nodded, mouth too full to respond verbally. Harry shrugged.

"I don't really know. Nobody ever really tells me anything of what's going on down there."

"What is the Order doing these days?", Hermione asked. "Shouldn't the Ministry take care of things now?"

"Remus told me that for the most part they're trying to do things the Ministry isn't willing to do."

"Like what?", Hermione asked, her curiosity sparked.

"He said something about contacting non-human groups before Voldemort does, and watching people they suspect to be Death Eaters."

Hermione nodded. "That makes sense. After all, the Order can't really act, can they? I don't think the Order of the Phoenix has any legal standing, how are they supposed to do anything else without the Ministry's support? And we don't really need to talk about the Ministry's policy towards non-human groups. Just think how house elfs are treated without anybody interfering…"

"Yeah, whatever", Ron waved her off before she got into another of her rambles about house elfs, S.P.E.W. and whatever else. "I see the sense in that. But what did Professor Lupin mean with watching people?"

Harry shrugged. "He didn't say. But I think it's just what it sounds like, keeping an eye out on people they suspect to be Death Eaters and watch what they're doing."

"They're having far too few people for that", Hermione said in a doubtful voice. "From all that I've read about the last war, there were many people who followed You-Know-Who and then said that they had been put under the Imperious Curse. Even if we don't know all Order members, they can never be enough to watch everybody who is a suspect."

"Maybe they're picking out the most likely candidates. I really don't know, maybe we should ask Professor Lupin if he can tell us more about it."

That was probably right, Harry mused. Remus would know more about what exactly the Order was doing, the other question was only whether he was allowed to tell them anything about it. And there was still the worry about his former teacher which Harry could not entirely suppress. And at least Hermione was perceptive enough to realize that Remus had changed, as her next words proved.

"Don't you have the feeling that Professor Lupin isn't entirely well? He always looked a bit tired especially around full moon, but I've been really shocked when I first saw him again."

Ron looked up with a slight frown on his face.

"Maybe full moon is tomorrow or something."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's still a week away. And Remus has looked this exhausted and sick ever since he visited me in the hospital."

"But what could that be? Do you think he's sick?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I asked him yesterday, and he said he was only tired, and that full moon was coming closer. But somehow that didn't convince me."

Hermione and Harry looked at each other for a moment. There was nothing they could do to help Remus even if something was wrong with him. Maybe they would find out what was going on in the next couple of days, but until then they could only keep their eyes and ears open. Ron, too, though his perception differed from Hermione's and Harry's. Subtlety and the finer nuances had never been his forte, but Ron had other strengths to compensate that. Harry was only worried that there might be nothing at all they could do to help.