Well, have any of you waited for this?
Daxter: Please don't post this...
Cir: If they're reading this, I have.
Daxter: Damn.
Jak: Same.
Damas: Same.
Cir: Anyway, on with Bar Wars, the Fat Menace!
Everyone else in the story: NO!
BAR WARS: THE FAT MENACE
Chapter Two: The Movie
The drunks watched the movie Krew put on. It was Star Wars Episode One, The Phantom Menace (By the way, I haven't seen this so don't blame me on mistakes). Daxter was no longer blind drunk, so he actually saw half of it. Parts of it he began poking the sleeping Sig with an armed Peacemaker, which earned him a kick in the ass.
By the end, a few were sober, and by a few, I mean Samos, Brutterand Kleiver. "Coooool," Daxter said. Everyone else agreed.
Krew floated down in front of them. "Alright, I'm collecting all of your tabs," he said.
The others stared at him. "DARTH MAUL!" Daxter screamed pointing at Krew before swaying and stepping on the Peacemaker which fired and almost hit Krew. "Get em Odi!" Torn growled and jumped at Krew and bit into his balloon.
"Get off me you drunk!" Krew said before hitting Torn off.
"This won't turn out well..." Samos whispered to Kleiver.
"Yeah, I have to get back to the wasteland, I'm late for a desert race," Kleiver said before jumping into the Sand Shark (which was parked in the middle of the road) and drove away, where he almost hit Jak. "HEY!" Jak jumped on a zoomer and charged after him.
Back at the bar, Krew was hiding in the back room wih Samos, Brutter, a few freedom leagues, Jak's crocadog who I've named Crocayand Veger, who were all classified as "bad guys".
"This no good," Brutter said. "They hunt us like dogs." Crocay looked at him.
"Why did I even come here?" Veger groaned.
"Don't ask me Count Vecher," a freedom league guard said.
"It's VEGER!" Veger yelled before Krew covered his mouth.
"You're freedom leagues, can't you do something?" he asked.
"We're freedom guards, not break-through-drunken-mob-that-think-they're-Star-Wars-people-that-want-us-all-dead guards," another said.
In the main room, they decided who they were. Daxter was Anakin, Torn was Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ashelin was Queen Padme (I'm getting these names off the internet, so I don't quite know who half them are), Damas was some guy that was important, Praxis was C3PO, Pecker was Yoda, Tess was R2-D2, Kor became sober and ran to seek coverwith "the hunted", and I'm too lazy to say who Jinx, Erol and Keira were.
Kor ran into the back room and slammed the door shut. "How'd you find us?" Samos asked.
"They all know that you're here, they'rejust too drunk to realize that they have to go in here to get to you," he said.
Veger looked at Kor. "Why are you hiding, you're the metalhead leader?" he asked.
Crocay got an idea and told Brutter. "He has idea," Brutter said.
Jak somehow drove the zoomer into the wasteland where he entered the race that Kleiver anda few wastelanders were in. Since the zoomer was weak, he could use his weapons. He scared half the racers silly with his vulcan fury and shot out the tires of Kleiver's vehicle with the blaster. "No one can beat the Haven and Spargus race champion!" he yelled. Then marauders blew up his zoomer.
Daxter was lying on the bar counter telling his plan. "We storm in there an blew ther heads on!" he said before hickuping until he threw up.
"Dunt ya mean off?" Praxis asked the drunken leader.
Then they heard loud stomping. They took out their weapons, AKA, a banana (Daxter), a cell phone (Keira), a taiser (Pecker?), a shotgun (Praxis), a stapler (Torn), a silly string gun (Damas), a water gun (Ashelin), a grenade (Jinx), and so on. Then Tess threw up on Torn,Torn hickuped at Daxter, Daxter swayed on Praxis, Praxis shot Erol in the arm, and Erol kicked Pecker. So basically all of themgot hurt. Then Jinx dropped his grenade, and the pin was already out!
That last sentence is going to cause chaos!
Jinx: Sure is, my grenades could blow up the palace, in fact I gave some to Veger before the palace...
Jak, Torn and Ashelin: YOU! (dive at his throat)
Cir: Uh, review!